Hands down, one of the most asked questions I’ve received since I announced my pregnancy last March is whether we will raise our daughter a vegan. It’s something that Eric and I discussed long before getting pregnant, but we revisited the topic again when I did get pregnant. I’ve been clear in the past that our household is not a vegan household – Eric doesn’t follow a vegan diet, although a lot of his meals are vegan because he loves the food that I make (yup, tooting my own horn! hah). He now enjoys hundreds of foods he wouldn’t even touch when we first started dating and it’s been incredible to see his diet transform over the years from deep fried fast food to vibrant veggie-filled home-cooked meals. From eating a huge bowl of frosted flakes cereal to a huge green smoothie every morning, the change has been huge. So even though he’s become more conscious about selecting organic meat from local farms whenever possible and eschewing a large amount of dairy from his diet, he has no plans of going vegan. I support him completely; after all, he was never vegan before we met and he is happy and healthy which is what matters.
Many people have assumed that we would raise Adriana on a vegan diet, but we’ve actually decided not to label her diet in any shape or form. This is for a couple reasons. First, I want her to be able to try any food that she wants to, including the food her dad and family members eat in front of her. Second, I want her to decide for herself when she is older whether she will attach any sort of label to her diet. I have personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labeling my own diet, and I don’t want to put my beliefs on her or assume that my diet is the best diet for her. That being said, we eat so many plant-based meals in this house I have no doubt that her diet will be filled with vegetables, fruit, legumes, beans, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and healthy fats! We are very grateful for the food we have access to and above all, I’d like to instill this sense of gratitude in her and also an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc. We are incredibly lucky that we even have the privilege of discussing this topic. But would we stop her from enjoying some of her dad’s chicken or a birthday cake at a friend’s party or a home-cooked meal at Mimi’s or Babcia’s house? No we won’t (assuming she doesn’t have an allergy down the road, of course).
I know that deciding what to feed one’s family is a very personal topic, but I want to be open about it as I have with my own dietary changes in the past. Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Vegan households can work really well if that is the goal (and I know many friends who are currently rocking it!), but this is what we’ve decided is right for us.
I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Have you ever struggled with the decision as to whether to label your child’s diet? Do you live in a household with different diets or allergies? How do you find a balance?
PS – Adriana turned 6 months on Saturday! We celebrated by giving her her first solid food – avocado. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. It was seriously awesome. I also re-read her birth story and cried a little. More on this feeding thing later.
xo
Comments are now closed – May 20/15
I am shocked and disappointed with your confession. Probably it is not a confession yet you disguised very well that the truth behind your book which is simply a desire to profit from growing trend of being hip and fashionable ‘vegan’. You are not a vegan and you only promoting tasty, healthy, mainly-plant based diet. Veganims is not about us, it is about them — the billions of suffering animals who are howling in agony minute after minute so humans can chew on their flesh and suck on their stolen secretion. The planet is being ravaged by animal agriculture and sorry to say that but most likely there is no future at all for your offspring. And you, as a concerned mother, just watch it silently to burn siding with your oppressor husband. Yes, all kudos to you to wrap all the horrors of animal exploitation in a pink wrapping so you can just nicely win the biggest audience possible. Well, you definitely lost all the kind, logical, compassionate, ethical vegans.
The meat industry causes immense suffering and environmental destruction. That’s indisputable. Why not channel your passion into fighting factory farms rather than attacking the character of someone who has again and again opened herself up to others in the most honest, caring, and compassionate way?
I am responding to this post. Which is so terribly needed since I got a feeling that to be cruel and compassionate-less is glamorized by this post!!!! I am fighting on many fronts. What are you doing to make the animal exploitation to stop?
No kidding Daniela. Hugely disappointed and now wondering how many fake “Vegans” there are.
Absolutely Rebecca! We all wonder! I think the definition of vegan is lost. How many humans actually understand that being vegan means to ethically oppose to all the animal exploitation — what we put in our mouth is only a part of it! Anyhow, thanks to the owner of Oh she glows, this stirred up a lot of havoc in vegan movement and the fact that we shall not and cannot support any businesses masquerading in a costume of vegan imagine. You want to make mainly plant based food – no problem, but please do not call this enterprise or yourself vegan. VEGANISM is about ethics and standing up against the horrifying normality of our status quo.
I felt the need to respond to this, as people like you are the reason there is so much stigma and fear behind becoming vegan. This black and white mentality is ridiculous. Shaming someone for allowing their child the right to choose and make their own decision on this matter is what makes me value this blog even more. Putting vegan into this tiny box is the reason I won’t ever be calling myself vegan as I do not want to be associated with scary, close minded people such as yourself. Being conscious about where your food comes from and understanding all aspects of the argument is much more relevant than a strict, condescending outlook such as yours. All of those ‘kind, logical, compassionate vegans” must not be the group you fall under as I find nothing about your comments compassionate and/or logical. I hope this post brings more open minded people to the blog and lets go of those who share such shameful and negative attitudes.
This. All of this. Exactly how I am currently raising my 20-month old daughter.
I loved reading this! My husband and kids are not vegan either, but like you, that is what I cook, so basically if they eat in this house, they are vegan. I do buy a few things for my son to take in his lunch…occasional lunchmeat, cheeses, etc. When we are eating out, though, I let them choose whatever they want. They eat so healthy at home, that I’m not concerned about the few choices they are making while out. My son is 6 and already he is asking about where food comes from and why people need to kill the animals for food. He doesn’t quite make the full connection yet but it’s a start. I’m letting them make up their own minds about the diet they choose all the while making sure they know that fruits, veggies, whole grains and healthy fats are important and healthy for them to grow and excel. Keep up the good work, mama!
You are PLANT BASED, NOT Vegan! You don’t care what they eat when your out because they eat healthy at food..that’s about diet..not animals
That is correct. Being vegan is about ethics. You are talking about your diet only. Tawny – a great reply!
Giving your child a choice is the most powerful thing you can give her. Your loving guidance will bring her to a place where she can choose not to eat animals for all the right reasons.
Rhonda, should she also give her child the choice to be a bully, to hit the family dog, or to eat feces? Parents make decisions for their babies and young children every day. She has chosen an omnivorous diet for her child.
Tracey, well said. I cannot comprehend why so many humans on this blog cannot understand this?! By showing to this young person that chewing on tortured flesh is ok…. what kind of choice is this?
If you know your kid is doing something ethically wrong, how can you be ok with it?
I agree that FORCING unpopular BELIEFS on children can back-fire, but facts are facts and should be presented as such, as well as polite ways to excuse one’s self from partaking in eating the carcass of a dead creature.
Animals aren’t food. They aren’t objects. They are living beings and all kids should be educated as such…
I’d be as disappointed in their decision to eat a dead animal due to peer pressure as I would be if they intentionally killed a creature because they felt like it (that’s actually a psychological sign that you’re kid is going to be emotionally disturbed btw).
I thankfully will never have to worry about this predicament. I care too much about animals and the environment to reproduce. Over-population and climate change be serious business and I wouldn’t condemn a child to endure it or contribute to it.
Wonderfully said Devi!
Since we must eat to live, what one decides to eat is intensely personal. I guess if you are vegan in regards to animal rights issues, its a different story, but if you are “eating vegan” for a healthy lifestyle, things are more open and flexible. I applaud the author’s honesty and willingness to debate the issue.
One doesn’t “eat vegan” for health. One eats plant based for health. For the love of all things holy, I wish people would get this distinction, already!
Me too. I suggest we separate; all the plant based folk go on their blissful way.
although I understand why people are upset about the ‘wrong’ use of the label vegan versus plant based (and it is an important one) the ‘real’ vegans should consider following:
even people who are promoting a plant based diet not for the animals sake but for health (or similar) are helping the animals!! Maybe not for the right reasons (in the vegans point of view) but nonetheless.
People like Angela help e.g. vegetarians on the way to being vegan – we NEED people that are not so strict and dogmatic about veganism because this has been shown to turn SOME people off before they even tried. When you are still an omnivore or a vegetarian being vegan has to be something you chose deliberately and not something that was forced on you (I’m speaking only about adults here) because then you’ll stick to it and promote it.
Don’t forget that some people follow Angela’s blog because her food is delicious, not because it is vegan. But that still means that the animal suffering is reduced.
I’m not saying that this is the end goal (or the ‘right’ moral one) but people eating plant based are helping the animals more than people who are omnivore and rather than sending them ‘off’ on their own way we should embrace them for helping to get more people on the wagon. We should not forget that it is about sustainability and helping the animals first and only second on how or why this animal wasn’t killed.
Several of you give vegans a bad name. It’s a shame. Why does it have to be black and white? As long as people are limiting meat and dairy, that is a good thing. There are varying degrees and that is okay. As long as we are all on a *similar* path, that is a good thing. We should be supporting one another, not tearing each other down becasue our degree of animal rights/healthy eating varies. Why do vegans and plant-based have to divide?? It is ridiculous.
It is VERY black and white issue. It is not a choice. If 200 billions of human children would be tortured to death each year, I guess according to your logic people who would fight against it would give the movement bad name also. The non-human animal genocide is the ongoing worst tragedy in the history of this planet and you want it treat it moderately?! Shame on you and others like you. IF you are the screaming mother cow, whose baby was beaten and stolen a way, so the humans can steal your milk, impregnate you and use you until they discard you like a piece of garbage, you would understand humans like your reasoning about varying degrees of this being ok.
Daniela — I respect your view and understand what you saying. I really do. I am just saying that all degrees of “veganism” or vegetarianism should be appreciated. I am a vegetarian — I have not eaten meat in 24 years, but I do eat dairy, although I am trying really hard to limit/eliminate it becasue of the animal cruelty. I do not buy leather and I do not support circuses, Sea World, etc. I donate time and money to animal causes. My daughter is a vegetarian. I grew up eating meat. I learned about the cruel conditions animals face and I made myself a vegetarian. Should I be condemned for not having your exact beliefs or those of other vegans? No. Am I doing something to help animals? Yes. Should that be critiqued or criticized? I don’t think so. That is my only point. All levels of helping animals need to be appreciated and respected. If you want to help the vegetarians become vegans there is a better to do it. I feel that all this energy against Ange or myself, others, etc. should really be redirected to a better cause. We are all on a similar path, whether you want to believe that or not.
I support Angela and always will. I wish the “vegans” would be more understanding and treat their fellow humans as well as they treat animals. Both deserve respect and compassion.
Well said Tammy.
Should Angela replace her ‘vegan’ with ‘plant based’. I think the discussion shows that this would stop the confusion.
But should she (and all the ‘other fake’ vegans as they were called) be condemned? Hell no, because they are promoting the same cause = DO NOT KILL ANIMALS. Yes, I bow to the morally ‘right’ vegans. Wish I was there, but here I am on my path to veganism and still having a rare piece of cheese, but I am eating 95% plant based now – 5 years ago I was consuming dairy daily. Reading the comments here against people that help animals by being ‘only’ veggie scares me.. don’t condemn me for not being vegan yet, show me the way KINDLY. You’ll attract far more people that way.
Yes please. ln response to several comments, 1/ people need to understand that plant based eating (for their health and/or for the environment) is a diet. lt undoubtedly helps the animals as less of them will be enslaved and killed for ‘food’. That’s why l’m all for people eating plant based. 2/ But we must distinguish between that choice and being vegan. Veganism is a moral decision based on not hurting other animals for any reason, as much as is possible in the world we live in. Public personalities that call themselves vegan, but are not, cause much confusion and misunderstanding. ls it any wonder then that vegans are upset and/or angry when this happens over and over again? 3/ lt is black and white. A person is either vegan or not. Words mean something. “Vegan” means something.
Hi Angela –
Although I agree with many points that have been risen here in your comments, I have my own view and opinion which I will remain mum about…
It breaks my heart that there are vegans posting on here who promote compassion to ALL beings yet blatantly tear down you and your family for personal decisions you’ve made. You should have all right to safely express your opinions to allow healthy debate without putting a target on your chest for others.
Thank you for openly discussing situations other’s may have to/already face in a house where there are different food-lift styles.
Blessings to you and your family!
It’s NOT a personal decision when it involves others ( i.e. the chicken )
I have not seen one single comment “tearing down” anyone. Angela is an intelligent, capable, thoughtful grown-ass woman who posted on her public blog. I’m sure she expected and was prepared for a wide range of responses.
Respectfully disagreeing with someone is not the same as “tearing them down”. So no need for your heart to break! This is all just healthy conversation. =)
Who is tearing down who here??? As much Angela is entitled to her way of living, thinking and expressing it publicly, so everyone is as well. So according to you, Angela and her fans who agreed with her are ok to post their opinions, yet those who disagree should take a hike? It was brought up many times, she can do what she wants, as long she does not talk about veganism. This is all about dietary choices that have nothing to do with ethics and compassion. If she would clarify that, then there would be no confusion. Unfortunately, we still live in “society” that enables to murder other species for taste buds as there were times that a slave owner was publicly able to kill his slave.
I am vegan and my husband is flexitarian. He eats mostly plant-based but has meat and cheese once in a while. Our daughter is 13 months and she is completely vegan. Being certified in health and nutrition I strongly feel that raising her on a plant-based diet gives her the best start in life nutritionally. When she is old enough to understand the consequences of her food choices on her health, the environment, and ethically for the animals, she is welcome to add animal products into her diet. My husband agrees that it is much easier to make a decision like that when one doesn’t already have a taste for those addictive foods. Many people want to transition to plant-based eating for various reasons but just can’t seem to give up the foods they grew up with and love. It just makes sense that if I think a food isn’t healthy enough for me I wouldn’t feed it to her. We also want to raise her to be compassionate to animals and eating them just doesn’t align with that. I can certainly understand your decision and the reasoning behind it. I am surprised by it though. With as creative and awesome as you are in the kitchen you’re more than equipped to make a vegan version of any food that tastes way better than the original version! On a different note, we fed avocado as a first food to our little as well. So much fun! Enjoy every minute as they seem to grow right before our eyes!
From Oh She Glows book:
“How could I, the lifelong animal lover, continue to support a system that brought so much pain and suffering to so many animals each year?”
What happened to this Angela??
oh well it’s organic local meat, that means they didn’t feel pain!
This is disappointing.
The job of a parent is to raise their child to be a healthy and responsible member of society, a good steward of the planet, better than the generation before…
You are obviously NOT vegan, you eat a plant based diet, there is a significant difference. Vegans care about animals, their health and the environment. Plant-based dieters…are dieters…
Hell no, I’m raising my man VEGAN, I’m proud to wear that label because it means I do as little harm to animals as possible. You could say you’re forcing your plant based views or you could also say your husband is forcing meat. Wouldn’t eating mostly plant based and then oh there’s a whole tub of ice cream ( because you want her to eat whatever she wants ) wouldn’t dairy make her sick? I think if I was like oh I want to eat that, was fed it and later when I could actually understand that it was someone’s flesh, I’d be sick. I just can’t respect anyone’s “right” to steal someone’s life or steal their babies for their own taste.
Angela,
I see a lot of negative comments directed at you here but especially on Facebook for the choice you have made for your family. As someone who is by no means vegan or even vegetarian, I’m an open-minded person who understands that everyone has their own opinions and makes the choices they make for their own reasons. I respect the human ability to make decisions and be autonomous every day, and I don’t force my opinions on others.
I chose to post here instead of on your Facebook post because that comment section hurts my heart to read. Good for you for making the decision with your husband on what is best for your daughter and please don’t take any of the negativity to heart because it’s not worth it. If people want to stop following you, let them – it’s not worth it.
Oh, please… Enough of the dramatic hyperbole. This whole issue would be an non-issue if she called herself plant based and not vegan. Our language has definitions for a reason, and veganism is not. a. diet.
Exactly!!!
You know what? When PETA stops creating ads aimed at women, about how much better and more beautiful and thinner we will be for going Vegan… THEN you can argue these semantics all you want. The fact is that PETA has a long history of playing on women’s insecurities and promoting sexist ideals and telling women how much sexier we will be for giving up animal products.
In other words, I will call myself whatever I want and there is literally nothing you can do about it. Unless you want to stop calling yourselves compassionate, when you all are so clearly not. If you give up the “compassionate” label, I will give up the vegan label. Your call.
Megan, obviously you have no clue why PETA is using the tactics that play on selfishness of humans. You never thought about it for more than a few seconds. So, understand this: PETA and tons of desperate animal rights activists are in pain from seeing how compassionate-less towards non-human animals the mankind is and so desperate to advance in the animal liberation movement yet it seems that one things that works the most is self-oriented profits AKA a human health, a human imagine, a human sexual attraction. Since the majority of suffering animals are used for food, if we stopped enough homo saps to eat animals, a real progress can be made. PETA does what works. Peta saved more animals and made more humans ethical vegans than any other groups in the history of this planet. Sexist advertisement is used for everything: selling cows milk, eating cows flesh, selling sausages, selling cars, clothing, even real-estate. Sadly, Peta has no choice. However, I am a strong believer that a true advancement in humanity can only be done using ethical reasoning and that is why people like Angela and many others should be coherent. You do not want to fight for the tortured animals and dying planet? You want to make money with those who are seeking their own health .. great but be clear who your audience is. To be married to a carnist, to raise an offspring chewing on carcass = this person is no way an ethical vegan. This person just promotes tasty plant based recipes. At least this would be honest.
I can hardly even begin to understand your argument. So, everyone else using these shallow and self-serving tactics (and I agree that a LOT of companies use them, not JUST Peta) are evil, but when Peta does it, it is for the greater good and not to be judged? They can climb down into the muck with those other advertisers, but somehow still hold themselves above them?
No. I HAVE thought about this. A lot. The bottom line is that if you all want to consider yourselves somehow better than other people, you need to hold yourselves to a better standard. And if you can’t do that, and if you want to make excuses for yourselves and the horrible things you say and do to those who make different choices than you, then maybe “compassionate” isn’t a label that actually applies to your movement. I care about animal welfare a great deal… but I manage to still have compassion and respect left over for my fellow humans who are entitled to hold different beliefs.
Someone else on this thread already pointed out that Angela’s non-judging and compassionate stance has done more for animal welfare and the vegan movement than most of you on here spouting hate. I would consider your approach in garnering new members to your cause, and whether or not arguing semantics over what is basically a dietary label is doing more harm than good to those who are considering whether or not to start including less (or any) animal products in their diet and lifestyles.
Also, I think “carnivore” is the word you are looking for, not “carnist”.
Hi Angela,
Thank you for sharing your thought here so articulately. I appreciate that this must be a difficult position to be in, and you’ve obviously given it much consideration. I have a lot of respect for you as a fellow plant-based blogger, and I know you used my book during your pregnancy, and I appreciate that as well! ;-)
And I have, obviously, made a different decision than you. My son is vegan and has been from birth, and it has never been an issue. I acknowledge that you are in a different position than I am, in a mixed household, and I know that complicates things. Like I said, you’ve obviously given this a lot of thought.
I did just want to take issue with one thing you said though. You wrote, “. . . we’ve actually decided not to label her diet in any shape or form . . . ” and I found this phrase – which is part of the justification for your decision – to be troubling.
It reminds me of labels like “gay” and “straight”, and how 50 years ago nobody ever referred to themselves as “straight”, because straight was just the normal, assumed, standard orientation. Gay people stuck out, so they got a label, but straight people didn’t get a label. Now, many years of social justice work later, it’s understood that straight is not *normal*, straight is just straight, and it’s now the standard to identify yourself as “gay” “bisexual” “straight” or whatever your orientation is. We all get a label. And now we’re seeing this change coming with the recent trans activism, where very progressive non-trans people have started referring to themselves as “cis” (the opposite of trans) as an act of solidarity to show that it’s not “normal” versus “trans”, but simply “cis” or “trans”. Because everyone has a gender identity label, just like everyone has a sexual orientation label, and on and on.
All this may seem tangential, but my point is this – you are *not* choosing not to label your daughter diet. You are very much giving her a label.
It’s omnivore.
And that’s a choice that you are making *for her*. And this may seem a small point, but I do think it’s an important one. Because we have to acknowledge that choosing to feed our children animals is *just as much a choice* as choosing not to feed our children animals.
It’s not a passive thing. It’s an action. It’s a choice you are making for her.
I just think that’s a really important point to clarify.
~Sayward
One of the best responses! Sayward, you have just made it clear why it is important to have labels – otherwise the omnivore diet is being trumpeted as the “normal” way to eat. Thank you for writing so simply and eloquently about this very important issue.
Beautifully written Sayward.
This is almost exactly our approach — I’m vegetarian, my husband is not and so far, our daughter is BUT it’s mostly because we eat plant-based meals 99% of the time at home. I want her to be open to all experiences and foods and not feel that I’ve made a label choice for her, although she will likely be exposed to more vegetarian options than other kids, and I’ll encourage those choices (whether or not they are the only things she eats!).
I have two beautiful nieces (ages 2 and 1) that are both being raised plant-based. They are healthy and happy. I plan to raise compassionate children who don’t eat animals or animal excretions. My husband and I came to this decision based on the health benefits of a plant-based diet, illustrated by hundreds of studies and doctors such as Neal Barnard and Caldwell Esselstyn. These studies show the connection between animal protein and cancer, heart disease, and diabetes. In addition, we believe animals matter morally, have a desire to live, and are sentient non-human persons. We hope to raise our children with these values.
Vegan isn’t a diet–it’s about justice for animals. So what you are actually saying is that you will raise your daughter to believe that her palate pleasure–tasty nonvegan food–comes before a nonhuman animal’s right to live. You will teach her that commodifying other sentient beings, simply because we can, is acceptable.
It’s not about “labels”–it’s about justice. And you clearly don’t value justice, and you will not raise your daughter to value justice. How sad.
Absolutely Sir! Well said.
Totally disappointed and will not buy any more of your books.You are posturing as a Vegan without the ethical stance to back it up. You should call yourself and your recipes Plant Based. Veganism is not just a diet and you are obviously not at all clear about that – just been using the word for marketing.
I’m a little shocked and disappointed at this post. I applaud you for being open and honest, but I’m disappointed that your child will be raised thinking that there is nothing wrong with consuming animal products. If you’re plant-based for health, the animals, human rights and/or the environment, those are positive things that you should be teaching your girl. Teach her to compassionate and kind while she is young and when she is old enough to make the decision for herself, let her choose.
Talking about not wanting to label her is getting hung up on labels. You can live a compassionate lifestyle without saying it’s vegan or plant-based. Don’t choose to feed your child animal products because you don’t like labels. Feed her healthy plant-based foods and teach her respect for all living things. That’s not “extreme”. That’s what good people are obligated to do. You’re one of the lucky few that has learned the truth and made lifestyle changes that are better for everyone. That’s not something to hide.
My household is the same. The vast majority of what my kids do end up eating is prepared by me and vegan. I care more about avoiding harmful chemicals and artificial ingredients in food than I do labeling my kids diet.
For me Veganism isn’t just a diet, it is also a moral obligation. I don’t think I will be forcing my beliefs on my future kids (I am not a mom yet) if I let them eat compassionate, because if I would feed them animals and their secretions, I feel like I would be feeding them violence. Going to watch the little lambs with them in the spring, let them pet a rabbit, teaching them to be kind and respectful toward the animals we come across and having these animals killed, and feed them to my child at the same time, feels like lying and even a form of abuse. I realized only a couple of years ago that my mom and I would save a baby blackbird that fell from the tree and how happy we where when it was save again. After that we would eat mom’s chicken soup with eggs in it! In our carnistic society you won’t notice the contradiction that one life matters, and the other simply doesn’t. And if anyone is forcing diets on our kids it is society! I don’t always agree with the values of our society, therefore I will not copy them on my kids. I guess if my kid goes to a birthday party of non vegans, I will bake a vegan cake for him or her, and if I get the recipe of your page, I am sure they will not complain! ( < :