Hands down, one of the most asked questions I’ve received since I announced my pregnancy last March is whether we will raise our daughter a vegan. It’s something that Eric and I discussed long before getting pregnant, but we revisited the topic again when I did get pregnant. I’ve been clear in the past that our household is not a vegan household – Eric doesn’t follow a vegan diet, although a lot of his meals are vegan because he loves the food that I make (yup, tooting my own horn! hah). He now enjoys hundreds of foods he wouldn’t even touch when we first started dating and it’s been incredible to see his diet transform over the years from deep fried fast food to vibrant veggie-filled home-cooked meals. From eating a huge bowl of frosted flakes cereal to a huge green smoothie every morning, the change has been huge. So even though he’s become more conscious about selecting organic meat from local farms whenever possible and eschewing a large amount of dairy from his diet, he has no plans of going vegan. I support him completely; after all, he was never vegan before we met and he is happy and healthy which is what matters.
Many people have assumed that we would raise Adriana on a vegan diet, but we’ve actually decided not to label her diet in any shape or form. This is for a couple reasons. First, I want her to be able to try any food that she wants to, including the food her dad and family members eat in front of her. Second, I want her to decide for herself when she is older whether she will attach any sort of label to her diet. I have personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labeling my own diet, and I don’t want to put my beliefs on her or assume that my diet is the best diet for her. That being said, we eat so many plant-based meals in this house I have no doubt that her diet will be filled with vegetables, fruit, legumes, beans, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and healthy fats! We are very grateful for the food we have access to and above all, I’d like to instill this sense of gratitude in her and also an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc. We are incredibly lucky that we even have the privilege of discussing this topic. But would we stop her from enjoying some of her dad’s chicken or a birthday cake at a friend’s party or a home-cooked meal at Mimi’s or Babcia’s house? No we won’t (assuming she doesn’t have an allergy down the road, of course).
I know that deciding what to feed one’s family is a very personal topic, but I want to be open about it as I have with my own dietary changes in the past. Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Vegan households can work really well if that is the goal (and I know many friends who are currently rocking it!), but this is what we’ve decided is right for us.
I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Have you ever struggled with the decision as to whether to label your child’s diet? Do you live in a household with different diets or allergies? How do you find a balance?
PS – Adriana turned 6 months on Saturday! We celebrated by giving her her first solid food – avocado. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. It was seriously awesome. I also re-read her birth story and cried a little. More on this feeding thing later.
xo
Comments are now closed – May 20/15
Loved reading about this!!
I have a 6 month old daughter as well and she has just started eating and watching that happen is the best / most hilarious thing ever!! I have a 4 year old boy who I have raised vegan and that has been a huge eye opener and sometimes it’s not easy. Like, when my mother in law puts cows milk in her coffee and my son freaks out ” GRANDMA’S DRINKING COW’S MILK !!” . He has taken to it really well and is very healthy and dare I say, exceptionally smart. He loves animals so it makes sense for him. We haven’t talked about anything gory and he still totally gets it. I wrote a blog about it on my website recently if you want to check it out. www.veganpoliceshop.com. lot’s o love!! xo
Page xv of your book:
“After learning about the horrors of meat and dairy factory farming, I had to ask myself some hard questions. How could I, the lifelong animal lover, continue to support a system that brought so much pain and suffering to so many animals each year? The complete dichotomy of the food on my plate and my passion for animal welfare was, quite frankly hard to digest. Wasn’t there another solution?”
I feel just like I did when I realized my parents were Santa Claus – disalussioned, disappointed and sad :(
Oh for goodness sake – I’m sorry, what a ridiculously unnecessary and over dramatic response!!!
I am very sad to read this. I was hoping your daughter would be a popular example of a happy, healthy vegan baby but this post and your example will be encouragement for others to perpetuate the cycle of animal abuse and murder. I honor your choice as a mother, but I am very disappointed by your choice as a public figure. I thought you were an advocate for animal freedom, but I must have been confused.
Also, I was raised vegetarian and, as a vegan today, am SO glad that I have never eaten an animal. I was proud of that even as a child, even though some less-cool peers tried to bully me into eating meat. And I never cared about not eating pepperoni pizzas at social events. I simply didn’t consider it food.
It makes me sad too
“Vegan” is not a diet label. YOU are a non vegan, eating a plant based diet. Call it what it is.
I really like your approach Angela. I think it makes perfect sense and I have a lot of respect for your decision! Although there are many different opinions on this matter, only you and your husband know what’s best for your family!
Yay for you, Angela! I am sure your daughter will grow up compassionate and open-minded with such an approach.
Since my husband and I are both vegetarian, it was natural for us to raise our kids that way. When my oldest was 17, he wanted to try fish and now he eats all kinds of meat. BUT he also eats loads of fruits and veggies and has no taste for junk food. It was a conscious decision on his part, and we all adapted to it. I don’t prepare meat or fish at home, but I buy it for him when he’s here. He has learned to cook for himself. :). His younger brother says he doesn’t think he’ll eat meat, but he might try fish some day.
Hi Angela!
First, I wanted to say that I understand and respect your decision. I’m sure you expected some backlash but I hope it’s not weighing on you too heavily.
I know you’ve probably spent a lot more time thinking about this than I have, but I’d like to add my $0.02.
As an animal lover my entire life, I can’t help but feel upset with my Mom for the choices she made for me as a child. I always looked up to her as a kind, empathetic woman who stands up for her beliefs and others. I went vegetarian as a young child, and vegan in my teens (I would have gone vegan right off the bat if I’d understood dairy/egg practices.)
It saddens me that I was raised non-vegan without my consent, but I’d be more upset if my Mom had had a full understanding of the animal cruelty involved in an omnivorous diet and chose to allow me to eat meat and dairy regardless.
Would you consider going label-less but feeding her a vegan diet until she can understand the connection between animals and animal foods? Like another commenter said, she could be very thankful for the opportunity to live a completely vegan lifestyle from birth and it would be nice to give her that option. I think kids can actually make the animal/food connection shockingly early so it could be something to think about!
Thanks for being honest and open. I so appreciate your blog, thanks for making veganism approachable!
I can understand that for many who are dedicated vegans, this is a black and white issue, but I so agree with the comments about compassion… if being vegan is about compassion for all animals (some of whom do eat other animals!) then let’s remember that every parent, including Angela, has different issues to consider which are also important. For example, some people have healed themselves from disordered eating, potentially life threatening eating disorders, and may worry about developing rigid rules about food for their child. I was completely vegan for 4 years, and it helped me heal my leaky gut, but I now include some meat in our household diet. I am 100% gluten free, have Type 1 diabetes (which I think is somewhat correlated to gluten consumption since a third of type 1 diabetics have gluten intolerance). My husband and I both healed health issues by cutting out dairy, so for us we want to be plant-based and feed our four kids few animal products, but would rather sometimes choose healthy meat options than using more gluten or dairy. Being vegan, gluten free and low carb for my diabetes meant that when I was travelling for work, I would basically just eat snacks for two days without solid meals in some cities. My diet was really restrictive and I had to put my health first. Now I have healthier options and my diet is still mostly plant based. Angela, your work helps so many people cut back on animal products and eat well, keep up the good work!
I think you have a super reasonable approach to this decision. I’m a lacto-vegetarian and have been for most of my life now, while my husband is an omnivore. I don’t love having meat in the house, and for the most part we don’t except for the occasional summer BBQ or fish once or twice a year (I refuse to cook any of it though – that’s up to him!). We’re expecting our first baby in just a couple of months and I don’t plan to change the way I cook or starting buying “kid” foods like chicken nuggets and fish sticks, at home we’ll continue to eat a vegetarian diet, but like you said – you can’t control their food intake all of the time and they may want to have that happy meal or pepperoni pizza with their friends. Of course I wish they would always eat vegetarian, but I think it’s naive to think we can control everything a child does (especially if they see their father eating some of those foods and are curious!).
Long story short, I won’t personally participate in feeding them any animals and I will do my best to educate them on my choices as they are able to understand those reasons, but I won’t be forcing any particular diet on them. Hopefully the more we teach compassion to our children (towards both animals and humans) the more they will follow in our footsteps and make the kind choice!
This is very disappointing. As a vegan,especially in the public eye, you should be committed to this amazing healthy lifestyle!! It seems entirely hypocritical for you to not raise your daughter vegan when you have made many comments about the inhumane meat/dairy industries in the past.
By simply reaffirming the supremacy of personal choice, we simultaneously reaffirm the belief that even our trivial palate pleasures can be made more important than the life and death circumstances of the victims of those choices. This reaffirmation requires a suspension of moral reasoning. One forgettable meal = an entire lifetime of experiences cut drastically and violently short. If animals matter even in the most superfluous sense, then we don’t violate their most basic right to life and liberty when we can so easily avoid it, such as in the case of replacing animal products with alternatives. And we don’t teach out children that choosing death over life is a morally equivalent one.
Well said. Hope Angela reads all the comments and see the light.
This saddens me. “I want her to be able to try any food that she wants to, including the food her dad and family members eat in front of her”…. Except the “Food” you refer to is someone else’s baby. It’s not “Food”, it’s a dead animal and absolutely desperately wanted to live. If you could raise your child to live a heathy and happy life without bringing harm and suffering to the world, then why on earth wouldn’t you? Raise your child to respect animals and she will make the decision herself to not kill them for food, but let her think it’s ok to use them as she see’s fit, and she’s already on the back foot.
Please don’t allow dead flesh into your precious baby!!! My only is it harmful for her but it literally supports the killing and suffering of so many animals! It is no ones right to inflict such horrific pain on another being! Especially for pure palette pleasure!
I think that’s a great attitude and it’s the same one we have with our daughter, now 2.5 years, about my vegetarianism (husband does eat meat but like yours he eats what I cook). I have always fed her a vegetarian diet but been open to her trying whatever she likes. She is only just starting to ask for things and doesn’t seem to have noticed that her diet is a bit different to others, even though she is in daycare and gets served a vegetarian meal. No health professional has ever batted an eyelid at her vegetarian diet and she is a healthy kid (if only she’d eat more of her vegetables…) I always got the sense a vegan diet was a bit trickier for little ones (although I know a vegan 4 year old who’s the picture of health and a genius to boot) so you are probably making your life a lot easier by keeping an open mind at this stage. Thank you for sharing.
I was vegetarian when raising my son. Hubby was omnivore and I allowed my son to eat what my hubby ate.I’m now vegan, initially for health and now ethical and environmental as well. Hubby is too. If I had to do it over today, I’d try to at the very least have only vegan meals in the home and help my child understand my choices, even if my husband wasn’t vegan, because of my ethics. I have several vegan friends who are divorced. The kids are vegan at their house and not with the ex-spouse’s. As adults they will make their own choices, but as a vegan, I certainly could not serve my child non-vegan food in my home.
Very, very sad, IMHO. The best gift we can give our children is that of compassion. I see so many comments regarding “diet”. Veganism is not a diet, but a moral imperative. It would be much more honest to just say plant-based.
Shameful.
What a let down.
please, refer to your self as plantbased and not vegan… as vegans do not see animaks AS food. Obviously.
Another foodie hero bited the big one.
Absolutely agree with you. Shameful and completely disappointing.
I am vegan and my boys ages 16 & 10, are vegetarian. They have never eaten meat and are proud to be vegetarian.
Parents make decisions for their children everyday, saying you are limiting their choices by deciding not to feed them meat is such a typical, meat eater thing to say. Feeding meat is also making a choice for your child.
If my boys decided to eat meat now it would be their choice, one based on knowledge.
I would not feed a child non-vegan or unhealthy foods until they are old enough to understand their choices. I would feel that I took away their choice to not take a life.
I once made a boyfriend promise that if he was preparing food for me and something fell on the floor, and even if he washed it, that he would tell me the details so that I would have the choice vs him not telling me and taking the choice away from me. For me, not telling children that we killed an animal, for them to eat, is the same thing except on a whole other level.