Hands down, one of the most asked questions I’ve received since I announced my pregnancy last March is whether we will raise our daughter a vegan. It’s something that Eric and I discussed long before getting pregnant, but we revisited the topic again when I did get pregnant. I’ve been clear in the past that our household is not a vegan household – Eric doesn’t follow a vegan diet, although a lot of his meals are vegan because he loves the food that I make (yup, tooting my own horn! hah). He now enjoys hundreds of foods he wouldn’t even touch when we first started dating and it’s been incredible to see his diet transform over the years from deep fried fast food to vibrant veggie-filled home-cooked meals. From eating a huge bowl of frosted flakes cereal to a huge green smoothie every morning, the change has been huge. So even though he’s become more conscious about selecting organic meat from local farms whenever possible and eschewing a large amount of dairy from his diet, he has no plans of going vegan. I support him completely; after all, he was never vegan before we met and he is happy and healthy which is what matters.
Many people have assumed that we would raise Adriana on a vegan diet, but we’ve actually decided not to label her diet in any shape or form. This is for a couple reasons. First, I want her to be able to try any food that she wants to, including the food her dad and family members eat in front of her. Second, I want her to decide for herself when she is older whether she will attach any sort of label to her diet. I have personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labeling my own diet, and I don’t want to put my beliefs on her or assume that my diet is the best diet for her. That being said, we eat so many plant-based meals in this house I have no doubt that her diet will be filled with vegetables, fruit, legumes, beans, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and healthy fats! We are very grateful for the food we have access to and above all, I’d like to instill this sense of gratitude in her and also an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc. We are incredibly lucky that we even have the privilege of discussing this topic. But would we stop her from enjoying some of her dad’s chicken or a birthday cake at a friend’s party or a home-cooked meal at Mimi’s or Babcia’s house? No we won’t (assuming she doesn’t have an allergy down the road, of course).
I know that deciding what to feed one’s family is a very personal topic, but I want to be open about it as I have with my own dietary changes in the past. Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Vegan households can work really well if that is the goal (and I know many friends who are currently rocking it!), but this is what we’ve decided is right for us.
I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Have you ever struggled with the decision as to whether to label your child’s diet? Do you live in a household with different diets or allergies? How do you find a balance?
PS – Adriana turned 6 months on Saturday! We celebrated by giving her her first solid food – avocado. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. It was seriously awesome. I also re-read her birth story and cried a little. More on this feeding thing later.
xo
Comments are now closed – May 20/15
I cannot understand this statement at all
“So even though he’s become more conscious about selecting organic meat from local farms whenever possible and eschewing a large amount of dairy from his diet, he has no plans of going vegan. I support him completely; after all, he was never vegan before we met and he is happy and healthy which is what matters.”
It just clearly reinforces what I already thought that you are a plant-based dieter and not vegan. Veganism is an ethical position. Vegans reject using animals for food, clothing, entertainment or other reasons. If one is vegan, (an ethical vegan), one would not even consider raising their child as a non-vegan and would not be “completely supportive” of their partner eating, wearing and using animals. That would be like someone who is against racism, being fine with family members being racist in their home or one who is against homophobia being fine with family members in the home using homophobic slurs.
I think it’s sad that the word vegan is used in this confused context. It confuses the public and makes out as if being vegan is a diet and is a “personal choice”. It’s not.
I’m very sorry to hear your little baby will not get to be vegan and I mean that sincerely.
Hey, just wanted to tell you that I assume the same way with my 3-years-old son.
I’m vegan, but neither him or his father are, even they often eat vegan at home (well, when I cook, it’s always vegan, up to them to add some other food in their own plates).
I have been questioning myself alot about this, but I finally decided that I’ll never interfere in his diet. He’ll know where animal products are made of when he’ll be in age to know about it, and then will make his own choice. I don’t want to choose for him, even if I disagree, it will be his own choice. Up to him to decide, it’s our parenting job to accompany his decisions, not to make ours, his.
Thanks for your article, and sorry for my bad english ;)
“I’m not racist, but I’m happy for my child to engage in some racism when she wants to, after all, my husband is racist.”
Would you apply the same outlook to racism? Would you teach your daughter that racism is positive?
Well, the same goes for Veganism and speaking for the animals. My goodness.
Well said Shane.
Yes, because veganism and racism are really on the same playing field.
My son is currently 2 yrs young. I have been raising him primarily vegan, but he occasionally has dairy or egg in extremely limited forms (such as when his Grams sneaks him cheese behind my back while she is watching him or in a piece of bread or croissant he might try once in awhile.) He has never eaten meat and I make homemade nut/ seed milk for him. He does have allergy to certain legumes, peas, sunflower seeds, and more, and I think he is allergic to wheat/dairy products and preservatives. His face becomes blotchy and/or rashy when allergic to something and he becomes unwell when his diet is not homemade and fresh.
Hi, because my husband and i were vegetarians we didn’t even discuss our children’s diet. They are now 22 and 26 and still vegetarian out of choice, theirs now. Did have people try to feed them meat, and they refused. My younger daughter even went totally raw vegan for a year, of her own liking. I was into totally raw vegan myself for many years, so this was a natural inclination of her’s. My older daughter enjoyed preparing rawsome desserts but never encompassed the raw vegan diet fully, nor did my husband, and that was fine too. What you decide is best for your children, i do feel others need to honor. bottom line Our family is all proud of being vegetarians/vegans, because we know we are not contributing to the slaughter of animals. This is important to us.
THE MAIN BELIEF YOU MUST TEACH YOUR CHILDREN , IS THAT AN ANIMAL IS NOT FOOD , EVEN IF SHE SEES OTHERS EATING THEM.
YOU ARE IN FACT GIVING HER THE BELIEF THAT’S ALRIGHT TO KILL / MURDER LIVING BEINGS .
YOU KNOW IT’S NOT
THIS IS NOT ABOUT LABELS OR DIET , THIS IS ABOUT EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH HER BEING A BETTER HUMAN BEING AND LEAVING A BETTER WORLD BEHIND THAN THE ONE SHE CAME INTO
I WRITE IN CAPS, SO I’M NOT YELLING AT AT ANYONE ,
.I AM ASKING YOU AND ALL THOSE THAT AGREED WITH YOU , TO RECONSIDER YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM….IT’S STILL YOUR BELIEF SYSTEM AND A LABEL , MIGHT AS WELL BE A COMPASSIONATE LABEL THEN THE ONE YOU ALREADY BRANDED HER WITH , THAT OF A KILLER .
YOU ARE TEACHING HER THAT IT’S CORRECT TO PAY THE HIT MAN ,AT THE REGISTER
Do you live in a house? Do you know how many animals were harmed and or displaced in the clear cutting the trucking of materials and all non plant based construction workers building said house? The device your viewing this on is littered with petroleum products as well as gold that humans could have been harmed for its creation. Did you know plants are living things? No one seems to mind murdering broccoli to feed themselves.
YOUR WAY OF MAKING A WRONG , RIGHT, IS SO OFF , YOU’VE LOST THE CAPACITY TO KNOW IT .
FOR YOUR INFORMATION
I DON’T LIVE IN A HOUSE.
I DO USE INTERNET
COME BACK AND READ WHAT I’VE SAID, WHEN YOU CAN UNDERSTAND
I don’t see a wrong to be made right, except maybe in calling a baby a killer and a store employee a hit man lol…I mean, seriously…you are such a kind, compassionate human being!
THE BABY IS BEING TURNED INTO SOMEONE THAT’S GOING TO FIND MURDERING ANIMALS AS NORMAL ..SO YES , A KILLER..AS TO THE HIT MAN REFERENCE…IT’S NOT THE CASHIER THAT’S DOING THE KILLING , BUT THEY ARE COLLECTING THE MONEY THAT WILL GO TO THE HIT MAN …I SEE YOU DIDN’T UNDERSTAND THAT EITHER…AS FOR COMPASSIONATE…AGAIN..DO YOU EVER UNDERSTAND ANYTHING….WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I’LL BE COMPASSIONATE TOWARD ANYONE THAT DOESN’T RESPECT THE LIVES OF ANIMALS…I CARE FOR THEM LESS THAN THEY CARE ABOUT WHAT’S ROTTING IN THEIR STOMACH
Well said Lydia, lovely to read your logical and compassionate reasoning. You are a great human. Carolyn you are a disgrace. Shame on you. Still pity you that you cannot take your compassion further than the human kind.
THANK YOU
XXXX
Lydia what you don’t understand is that everyone is imperfect. Even the high and mighty level 5 vegans of this world conform to society’s norm of using the internet and driving cars all of which can be traced back to harming animals and people. I personally believe that Angela is a brave woman for being honest and real with the people who read her blog. As for compassion I can’t believe that quality exists in such a hateful person . I do not believe in harming animals but I also do not believe in attacking our own species.
WHAT PART OF I DON’T CARE ABOUT THE HUMANS THAT DON’T CARE ABOUT THE ANIMALS MUST I EXPLAIN AGAIN ?
It sounds like you are vegan for dietary reasons not for ethical reasons cos if the latter was the reason behind your choice to be vegan, you would want you children to grow up with those ethics. Similar to how you would teach your Children not to steal or do any other immoral activity. Consuming meat and other meat products is immoral. Most people don’t want to label it that way because they would fall in that category and would have to accept they are immoral. This affects the perception we have of our selves. But the important thing is that we should always approach consuming meat from the reality of the victim not from our own perception of ourselves. so Angela while it’s good you being vegan does reduce animal cruelty, it’s sad you are not able to immerse yourself in it and show your kids a greater world filled with compassion.
Like you, I am do not live in a vegan household. My husband is a omnivorous carnivore :). I have been vegan, in diet and lifestyle, for 15 years. At first I tried to impose my beliefs on everyone but what I found is that I turned off more people that I attracted. I stopped. I lived my life to the best of my ability as a vegan but stopped telling others how to live. What I realized is that people started asking me about my lifestyle and listening to my reasons to live how I live. My husband eats vegan meals all the time as a result but like yours has no plans on becoming vegan. Still I consider that a small victory. I am pregnant now and I completely agree with your view of allowing my child to taste things and let him/her decide how to live (not just in diet but overall). I will educate, and provide support for my lifestyle and opinion. But just as I would not impose religion, I will not impose veganism. I am concerned about the purely health-related dangers of meat and dairy so there might be a limited exposure to them but I will still allow it. If my child decides to be vegan one day I fell he/she will be that much stronger in their belief. He/she will have appreciated both and chose based on their moral compass. So thank you for your post and for making me think about this very important subject a bit more. Good luck to you and your family!
I completely respect your perspective on this issue. Way to go for sharing it. As a dietetic intern on my way to becoming a Registered Dietitian, I’ll never forget an interesting conversation we had in a lecture in school regarding feeding infants and adolescents. My professor, a vegetarian herself, stressed the critical importance of not putting babies and young children on a vegetarian (especially vegan) diet. As you know, their nutritional needs at this young age are SO complex and critical for development. We were taught that animal-based foods and their proteins & fat sources are more bioavailable and efficiently absorbed than most plant-based foods. While adults can make a conscious effort to plan their diets and consume the right balance of plant-based foods to live a healthy vegetarian lifestyle, she talked about how it is just plain irresponsible to restrict animal foods from their diets. It’s great that you and Eric know how to find sustainably sourced, healthy animal foods. She will be exposed to a wide variety of nutrient-dense foods thanks to you both. What a lucky girl! She is so beautiful. We are so enjoying our 9 month old and seeing her try new foods. So fun. Good luck!
I wholeheartedly agree. I was vegetarian for 8 years and vegan for two. Unfortunately even after seeing multiple nutritionists, my health deteriorated. My body doesn’t do well on restrictive diets, and I would never put a philosophy before my child’s health, esp at such a critical growth period. I now occasionally eat fish and shellfish, and have a flock of chickens for eggs. I no longer am irritable with thinning hair and anemia. It took me years to get here, I was afraid to tell my friends that my health came first. Many no longer respect me, but I can’t make myself sick for their benefit.
I’m still the same person even though I eat seafood, eggs, and the occasional fresh local cheese I buy. When I have children, they won’t be raised vegetarian. As a mother, I would want them to have every chance to grow healthy and strong, esp at such a critical time for brain development. Since tofu has plant hormones and blocks the absorption of nutrients, I don’t see it as a healthy alternative to meat, and not something I would want my young child depending on.
Therefore, like me my child will eat 90% plant based. Whether or not they go vegan or Veg will be their choice, but they will be raised eating vegetarian and vegan fare, and will care for the chickens that give us eggs, dig the clams we eat, etc.
Love your blog and I’m proud of you for having the courage to be open about your children’s diet even if it means losing a few readers. Most in your position would simply not be truthful, which is a disservice since we are all in this movement together.
I am a doctor and I’m vegan. Everything you have said against a plant based diet is nonsense. With a whole foods plant based diet, with a wide variety of fruits, vegetables, grains, legumes, beans, nuts, seeds, tempeh, tofu, etc., babies and children and adults are able to thrive. Don’t forget that the dairy and meat industries have a huge influence on RD programs and education. The consumption of meat and dairy in young children contributes greatly to Juvenile Type I Diabetes, Juvenile Arthritis, and childhood cancers.
Also, there is no such thing as sustainably sourced, “healthy” animal foods. Go to youtube and watch lectures by Dr. Richard Oppenlander.
Fantastic approach and attitude towards food choices for your daughter. I was vegan from the time my son was born until about 1.5 years. He ate so many fruits and veggies throughout that time in addition to healthy proteins that he was growing and reaching all his milestones in the upper percentile. And his health was awesome. I’m no longer vegan (I now add in chicken, but no dairy) but I allow my son to enjoy the dairy products and snacks he chooses. I do notice he’d have a tendency to avoid the veggies though without encouragement. Best wishes to you.
I have to say I am extremely disappointed in your position and the majority of replies to your posts. Veganism is an ethical position that eschews the continued slaughter and use of animals. If you are a vegan, how can you be completely supportive of those close to you eating meat and dairy and thus supporting an industry that kills and tortures other beings?
I guess the secret is out now. You are not vegan, you eat a plant-based diet and don’t seem to actually care about the mistreatment of animals.
What comes up again and again in the comments here is a rejection of ‘labels’. Labels are powerful and can help to make structural changes positive. They let you take a stand and give currency to ideas. To me, this rejection of labelling oneself and one’s diet reads like an egoistical, laissez-faire approach to life where one cannot be inconvenienced even a little bit, no matter what wider implications one’s ‘choices’ have.
Choices are not context free. Choices such as eating meat or dairy outside the home support certain structures, in this case the abuse and killing of animals. This is not veganism.
Thank you for this post! I have a 10 month-old baby and have changed to a plants based diet after having my two older kids. I am quickly approaching the year mark when I weaned my other babies from breast milk and introduced cow’s milk, but am finding myself in a serious quandary about what do to this time around. I would LOVE to hear your thoughts about alternatives. Everybody mentions soy and almond milk, which are fine substitutes for me, but I don’t think they have sufficient fat and protein for my little guy. Perhaps the answer is to just keep nursing him, but I just want to explore other options.
Thanks for ALL you share about your journey and wonderful ways to enjoy the bounties of the earth!
Hi Angela!
I don’t have children, yet, but my husband and I are the same as you and Eric – I eat a vegan diet and he’s super plant-strong. :) We’ve had similar conversations and I absolutely love your perspective, balance, and love for your little sweetie.
That’s really disappointing. Our job as parents is to instill our beliefs in our kids. We’re constantly teaching our kids to be kind, share, respect others, etc. Those are core values that we instill in our kids so they become good people.
By raising your child non-vegan you’re telling her that the suffering of animals doesn’t matter. That being kind to others only applies to humans. I have 2 kids that my wife (non-vegan) and I are raising with a vegan diet. One day they’ll be old enough to choose if they want to continue being vegan or not.
But until they’re old enough to understand how their food truly impacts others, I’m not going to expose them to foods that are the product of suffering. I hope maybe you’ll reflect a bit on your decision and change your mind to adopt a diet for your child based on peace and love instead of violence and suffering.
My husband and I are vegan and we’re raising our son vegan. We understand that he’s his own person and will choose for himself when he’s ready and in fact at age 5 he is choosing vegan for everything except birthday cake. But we don’t subscribe to the idea that he should be allowed to eat ANYTHING that others want to feed him. Some things are healthier than others, some things are more sustainable and ethical than others, some things are simply safer than others (choking hazards are choking hazards). We ask others to only feed him vegan food and for the most part they comply. But we focus more on our son, in teaching him that some foods hurt animals and the environment whereas some don’t. The more he understands about why we are vegan, the easier it is for him to say politely, “no thanks, I don’t eat animals.”
Thank you Angela and everyone else for the comments.
I am a plant-based eater, and my husband follows because I do the cooking. Although he does enjoy a big bowl of ice cream.
I was vegan during pregnancy, and continue to follow this diet mostly.
Interestingly as Dylan is eating more and more foods, he has no interest in meat or dairy.
He loves avocados, raspberries and chick peas.
I wanted to get opinions on the subject of children’s growth. Dylan was never a chubby fat baby. His weight has hovered around the 10% range. He is extremely active, muscular and happy. I have no worries about his development.
The doctor is slightly concerned about him getting enough calories to support his growth, especially as he weans off breast feeding. Right now he nurses in the evenings and before his afternoon nap.
He doesn’t like many calorie dense foods. Avocados are his fav. He eats peanut butter, usually licks it off the bread. I actually tried giving him full fat cow’s yoghurt but he doesn’t like it. I always hated milk and I think he may have inherited my tastes.
I’m not worried about his low-ish weight, because I think in the USA many babies are too fat. And out growth charts reflect this. But I don’t want him to necessarily be the smallest kid either.
I plan to let him make the choice about his diet. But we won’t cook animals at home either.
What do other people feel about the weight & growth charts?
Anyone have any calorie-dense foods they can recommend?
Angela, thank you for starting this conversation?
Some of my toddlers favorites are: hummus, nut butters, smoothies with avocado and seeds, and sunflower seed pate. I also sprinkle hemp hearts and/or chia seeds on snacks, like organic applesauce. I highly recommend a nutrient dense smoothie with a wide variety of nuts or seeds. Good luck :)
Thanks! So far he really only drinks water. Which is awesome that he has not tasted juice. But he things smoothies are weird. I’ll keep trying:)
I applaud your balanced approach. Since when did we start to label people by their food choices? It’s become almost as volatile as which political party one belongs to, like a dinner party question. “Are you vegan or Paleo?” and the judgment that follows. It’s so off-putting to me.
Thank you for being a voice of reason and compassion!
Animal products simply are not food as I see it. Just because society frames animals and their secretions as food does not mean that I view it as such. That’s why I’m not depriving my future child of anything. My child will have access to any kind of food available. It’s vegan, but animals and their secretions are not food.
Veganism is so much more than a diet. Eating animals is not a personal choice at all. Not for the animals suffering. Not for the cow who has to watch humans take her baby away for the fifth time so that she can consume milk for us so that we can feed our children some ice cream at a party. It’s not a personal choice for the hen. Her body is so worn out from laying so many eggs because of over-breeding just so that we can feed our children a birthday cake which easily could have been made vegan.
It’s not a personal choice for the pig when we roast her body over fire just so that we can have a good barbeque with our friends.
My boyfriend is not vegan but we both agree on the fact that our future child will be raised vegan. A mixed household is not a problem.
Obviously I mean PRODUCE milk and not consume :)
Angela,
Thank you for sharing this. I admit I, too, was curious how you’d raise
your daughter.
First and foremost, I’m not a vegan myself, but I love eating plant-based
foods that I wouldn’t have even *considered* eating a few years ago. Your
website and cookbook is a huge part of that.
I commend you for putting yourself out here like this, as I’m sure you
*knew* you would be criticized–even personally attacked–by some of your
readers. I hope you don’t let any of the harsh words bring you down.
To be honest, I wish I was vegan. I do think–in most of the world, at
least–that a plant-based diet would solve a host of problems: obesity and
other health issues, environmental issues, and of course, animal suffering
(although I will argue that for *some* people, they really do thrive with
animal protein in their diets for whatever reason). I agree with the vegan
position, I just sadly lack the motivation/desire to make that change.
People will call me selfish for saying that–or even declare that I’m a
horrible person–but it’s how I feel. I do try to limit the animal products
I consume, however, and I encourage others to do the same. For me, it’s not
an “all or nothing” issue. Small change is still change.
I think the #1 thing for you and your family is to do WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR
YOU. Your child’s health is the most important thing–and also her
relationship with food. And even though you say you’ll allow your daughter
to eat some of the non-vegan foods your husband eats, I have a feeling
that, because you do the cooking and meal-planning, that she’ll eat 99%
vegan anyway. Your daughter is so lucky to have you as a mother–somebody
who has compassion and a dedication to eating well. I do not personally
think you’re sacrificing your ethics or being untrue to yourself by
allowing your daughter to be an omnivore if she chooses. We can make
personal choices that we stand 100% behind while also respecting those
around us and considering their wishes/needs/etc.
Thank you for sharing this. I hope you’ll share baby food recipes when the
time comes! And thank you for sharing your beautiful recipes and inspiring
so many people to change their diets and live more healthfully.
Ugh, sorry for the weird format of my comment! Not sure how that happened.
While I understand your reasons, I just wanted to lend you some advice of caution! If your daughter is not accustomed to eating animal flesh and especially after she’s been weaned from breast milk, eating meat and dairy might make her quite sick. Now, while she is breastfeeding, she will maintain the digestive enzymes (I might not be using the right vocabulary, as I am not a RD!) to be able to digest breast milk and dairy milk. Once she is weaned, she has about a 75% chance of losing that capacity. My daughter was okay with milk, ice cream and dairy. In September, when she left daycare and entered school, I went completely vegan with her diet. A few weeks ago, she has some cheese, and spent about a day vomitting. My husband, while we were on vacation, indulged in some of the buffet offerings, but after eating vegan for more than a year, he also got quite sick.