Hands down, one of the most asked questions I’ve received since I announced my pregnancy last March is whether we will raise our daughter a vegan. It’s something that Eric and I discussed long before getting pregnant, but we revisited the topic again when I did get pregnant. I’ve been clear in the past that our household is not a vegan household – Eric doesn’t follow a vegan diet, although a lot of his meals are vegan because he loves the food that I make (yup, tooting my own horn! hah). He now enjoys hundreds of foods he wouldn’t even touch when we first started dating and it’s been incredible to see his diet transform over the years from deep fried fast food to vibrant veggie-filled home-cooked meals. From eating a huge bowl of frosted flakes cereal to a huge green smoothie every morning, the change has been huge. So even though he’s become more conscious about selecting organic meat from local farms whenever possible and eschewing a large amount of dairy from his diet, he has no plans of going vegan. I support him completely; after all, he was never vegan before we met and he is happy and healthy which is what matters.
Many people have assumed that we would raise Adriana on a vegan diet, but we’ve actually decided not to label her diet in any shape or form. This is for a couple reasons. First, I want her to be able to try any food that she wants to, including the food her dad and family members eat in front of her. Second, I want her to decide for herself when she is older whether she will attach any sort of label to her diet. I have personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labeling my own diet, and I don’t want to put my beliefs on her or assume that my diet is the best diet for her. That being said, we eat so many plant-based meals in this house I have no doubt that her diet will be filled with vegetables, fruit, legumes, beans, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and healthy fats! We are very grateful for the food we have access to and above all, I’d like to instill this sense of gratitude in her and also an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc. We are incredibly lucky that we even have the privilege of discussing this topic. But would we stop her from enjoying some of her dad’s chicken or a birthday cake at a friend’s party or a home-cooked meal at Mimi’s or Babcia’s house? No we won’t (assuming she doesn’t have an allergy down the road, of course).
I know that deciding what to feed one’s family is a very personal topic, but I want to be open about it as I have with my own dietary changes in the past. Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Vegan households can work really well if that is the goal (and I know many friends who are currently rocking it!), but this is what we’ve decided is right for us.
I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Have you ever struggled with the decision as to whether to label your child’s diet? Do you live in a household with different diets or allergies? How do you find a balance?
PS – Adriana turned 6 months on Saturday! We celebrated by giving her her first solid food – avocado. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. It was seriously awesome. I also re-read her birth story and cried a little. More on this feeding thing later.
xo
Comments are now closed – May 20/15
I’m totally on board with you, Angela. I’m not vegan, but I’m a vegetarian with vegan tendencies/preferences (and thanks to YOU for helping me eat more vegan!) and when our daughter was born we had the same decision to make, like yours, my husband eats meat as well as what I cook. Our daughter eats meat some days and vegan/vegetarian most days as we want her to try everything (within reason!) and let her decide whatever she chooses when she’s older. I have a vegan friend who was a bit opinionated and wasn’t shy to tell me I’m already deciding for our daughter by giving her meat. To that take on it, I say it’s a very personal choice and you need to follow your instincts and heart. Thanks for sharing your amazing recipes with us all and always with your friendly tone, it’s such a gift to everyone and I think you are totally awesome!!
As always, a delight to read your blog. This one really hit home as I have been asked the same question over and over again. Though I don’t like relating what I am eating as being called a “diet”, I knew I had to put a lot of thought into what my new little man would be eating when he reaches solids (I am a bit ahead of the game seeing as I still have a month left with this little turkey baking away in my belly!).
I just wanted to thank you, once again, for being the most insightful and best go-to girl for nutritional advice. You are the best!
That’s how I raise my daughter. I’m vegan, but my husband (meat and potatoes) and family are not. Though my family is far more willing to try vegan foods.
She eats all kinds of things. She has always loved spinach and brussle sprouts.
It’s her decision as to what she eats. Though for about 8 months she decided to be vegetarian. It was a bratwurst that ended that. lol
Same decision/situation here, although honestly it breaks my heart a little every time I see her eat meat, dairy or eggs. This is for both health and ethical reasons. She’s only 5 and starting to make the connection, asking me why I don’t eat animals, etc. I’ll be patient and let her make the decision on her own, but I sure hope serving her yummy food like yours will sway that decision!
So glad you posted this! Good luck with the solid foods!!
Angela, your’re a smart girl! Very wise decision :)
My partner and I have had exactly the same chat (still in the planning stage!) and came to exactly the same conclusion. What I think is really…frustrating, or even a touch hypocritical, is that people find it so nuts in the first place. Nobody seems to care whether people raise their kids addicted to sugar and fast food but, woah, vegan children? How can you do that to your kids?!
Congratulations on your baby, Angela!
I am happy and proud to be raising a vegan child who wasn’t raised with “labels” as much as an age appropriate understanding of what it means to eat animals. You can “label” me as self-righteous, judgmental, whatever as you prefer, but to me raising our son as a vegan was in alignment with the values of critical thinking and empowered, compassionate action that is important to us, more important than silly labels. Today, our son is twelve and is a proud, strong advocate for all animals. We raised him with the knowledge that many of our family members (okay, all of them) and some of our friends were not vegan but we still loved them. People might like to think that you can only raised vegan children with a strict dogmatic approach but we did not. We are raising him to ask questions, think critically and be guided by compassion and justice. This is really not so radical. Today, our son owns his veganism: it is not forced upon him. He makes the choice every day to live in alignment with his values and to spread the message of compassionate living to his peers. Again, not so radical.
Wishing you the best with everything!
my hubby is omni, i have been veg even before i met him. we have three gorgeous children who have been vegan since birth. we decided to raise them veg until they are old enough to decide for themselves. i have never judged my hubby’s diet, just as he’s never judged mine. my kids know where meat and dairy come from, and at this point, they are not interested in trying it. but if they ever do, i think it’s important to love and support them no matter what.. i am sure they will make tons of decisons differently than i do.
Thank you for this post:
You say, “I have personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labeling my own diet, and I don’t want to put my beliefs on her or assume that my diet is the best diet for her.”
I’d like to just say that every parents puts beliefs onto their children and makes decisions for their children. Meat, dairy and eggs are so horrible for us, and don’t help us thrive. As parents we should be giving our children the very best, maybe even better food than we get!
Although you see it as limiting your daughter for when she reaches for something, you will encounter this throughout her whole childhood. She will want something that isn’t good for her to have and you’ll need to take it away and replace it with something else.
maybe try thinking of it that way!
Kudos to you! I’ve made the exact same decision with my children, for some of the very same reasons. I want them to be able to eat/try any foods they want to when they’re at school or over friends houses. They eat a ton of healthy, vegan dishes I cook for dinner. (I am vegan, my husband does not eat dairy or meat, but eats fish) As a result, I’ve found they’re a lot more open to trying new foods, as a large variety has always been their norm.
Mmm, avocado. It’s funny but I never thought of it as baby food but it really is the perfect texture and the prep is probably minimal compared to other homemade baby food.
Talking about how to raise a child is such a touchy subject, so I’m not surprised by some of the comments I’ve read here and on Facebook. Combined with veganism and that’s a whole other can of worms. :)
That being said, I fully support your decision on how you and Eric will raise your child. It is your family and how you feed them should be no one else’s business but your own.
i feel you are obscuring one very important fact–“plant based diet” is not synonymous with veganism., which is, fundamentally, an ethical way of looking at the world. I suspect at some point you too will return to your husband’s carnivorous ways. Sadly, those who don’t understand this distinrtion inevitably do. my mom? She taught me one very basic thing–“they want to live, too”. Then I realized that it was never about a “plant based diet”.
At Trader Joe’s yesterday, while waiting in line, I noticed that a mother and a store clerk were trying to explain the concept of salmonella to her little son. She was fumbling for words, but, not surprisingly, “spinach” and “peanuts”seemed to flow quite easily out. The “low hanging fruit”, if you will–in vegetable form. I couldn’t help myself. I interjected “it’s mostly from dead animal carcasses from tortured animals who wanted desperately to live”. As someone who is not a parent but has learned wisely from my parents, I feel very strongly that the concept of parenting and the resultant “maturity into adulthood” comprise, essentially the long-term process of acclimation, acquiescence snd ultimate stupefying acceptance of conformity and the all too forgotten violence of everyday life that concomitantly and consequently comports, like a glove, with such a world view. What did Stephen Hawking say? Children do not know not to ask the really important questions. Adulthood is simply the process by which the “really important questions”, together with elusive Fairy dust elements of imagination, creativity and compassion are squeezed out and evaporate into the ether.
Navdeep, it is so refreshing to read your comment which is so full of logic and compassion. Reading through the comments, I simply could not believe my eyes. Except few truly aware vegans who commented on absurdity of “letting an infant have a choice” (a total oxymoron), the rest of comments just blow me away. The human reasoning why to fit in instead of stand up for what is right is simply astonishing. Indeed, a plant based diet (aka a health oriented, selfish reason) has nothing to do with veganism. Angela is not vegan and her choices of recipes have nothing to do with ethics. This should be cleared up right from the beginning and the confusion would be avoided.
Seriously? You think its okay to butt into a conversation between a parent and a child with the comment “It’s mostly from dead animal carcasses from tortured…”? I would have told you to mind your own business.
And, if it takes this much self-righteousness to be a vegan, count me out. I’d prefer to be a person who consumes a plant based diet while treating animals ethically.
Thanks for sharing! I’ve been veg since 7 & (almost) vegan for 2 yrs & I’ve been thinking about raising my (very theoretical future) children the same way as you. I don’t want my kids to resent me ffor forcing them into a dietary plan! My parents were liberal with me which is why they let me go vegetarian, even though neither of them were.
Please do not call yourself a vegan. A true vegan would not be okay with raising a child to eat animal products because that would teach and enable enormous animal suffering. You eat a plant-based diet, but you are not vegan. The comments on here are crazy. Like “I’m 90% vegan”. There is no such thing!
Good on you! Its a hard decision (Ive found) and i still struggle with it sometimes. But its your decision as a family and no one elses business at the end of the day. Your daughter will be healthy and have a varied diet and when the time comes may decide to follow your footsteps regardless :)
Your cookbook is off my list. There are plenty of real vegans writing cookbooks. I have zero desire to buy a vegan cookbook from someone who just wants to make money off the movement but can’t be bothered to actually live vegan. Since your personal choice is to not be vegan, my personal choice is to not support your support of torture and killing. Humans do not need to have their plants predigested by the guts of other species.
Well said Joy. Perhaps Angela should clarify her position right from the start that her recipes have nothing to do with veganism.
Agreed.
Agree. And I’m so sad about it. I keep coming back to read more comments. I bought her cookbook, my husband and I always cook her recipes, scour her website for new things to try. Her food was my favorite. Now I just feel off about it. It’s so hard to support someone you thought you believed in. I know it’s her choice, but it’s a personal and private one she shouldn’t have shared.
It is your OPINION she shouldn’t have shared it. It is her own blog and what she shares is her own business. Stating she “shouldn’t have shared it” is a moronic comment. You said it yourself, it is a personal and private choice. Why not leave it at that?
I am also disappointed as I love her cookbook. I feel betrayed. She doe snot get it.
Hi Angela!
I love your website and appreciate your stance on the matter. In our household I am the only full vegan, even though we have a vegan household. My husband will eat outside the vegan diet occasionally outside of the house or at events. We are choosing to raise our daughter (13 months) on a vegan diet, as We both believe it is the healthiest choice, and we do what’s best for our children. But also being an ethical vegan, and believing it is not right to take the life of another being for our own selfish consumption, and on the same note, torture or abuse them for other things such as eggs, and milk, it will be important to teach the WHY of veganism. If after being presented with the facts she will be free to make her own decisions OUTSIDE of our home, but will obide by our standards within. I honestly don’t see this becoming an issue, since all children are born with compassion and a love for animals (IMO) so it should be an easy choice, and with so many great tasting things, her life shall never be lacking a foodie experience!
Thank you so much for sharing this. it makes me want to follow all your recipes and your journey even more. I haven’t been able to label our diet for the longest time. I think I’m going to call it oh she glows diet from now on. My kids eat all kinds of vegetables, legumes, healthy fats, but are not vegan nor planning on transitioning. They can make their choice later down the road! Thank you.
Veganism is not a “diet.” It is a philosophical stance. People who are vegan are not so for themselves, but for the animals – because we don’t believe animals should be exploited, enslaved, and murdered. You, Oh She Glows, are *following a plant-based diet*. That is not the same as being vegan. Vegans do not say things like “as long as my husband is happy [eating exploited, murdered animals and their secretions], that’s all that matters.”
It is critical for the sake of the animal rights movement that people who are not vegan but following a plant-based diet do not label themselves as “vegan,” for that leads to confusion among animal exploiters as to what veganism is and what our positions are.
A great reply! Thank you!