Hands down, one of the most asked questions I’ve received since I announced my pregnancy last March is whether we will raise our daughter a vegan. It’s something that Eric and I discussed long before getting pregnant, but we revisited the topic again when I did get pregnant. I’ve been clear in the past that our household is not a vegan household – Eric doesn’t follow a vegan diet, although a lot of his meals are vegan because he loves the food that I make (yup, tooting my own horn! hah). He now enjoys hundreds of foods he wouldn’t even touch when we first started dating and it’s been incredible to see his diet transform over the years from deep fried fast food to vibrant veggie-filled home-cooked meals. From eating a huge bowl of frosted flakes cereal to a huge green smoothie every morning, the change has been huge. So even though he’s become more conscious about selecting organic meat from local farms whenever possible and eschewing a large amount of dairy from his diet, he has no plans of going vegan. I support him completely; after all, he was never vegan before we met and he is happy and healthy which is what matters.
Many people have assumed that we would raise Adriana on a vegan diet, but we’ve actually decided not to label her diet in any shape or form. This is for a couple reasons. First, I want her to be able to try any food that she wants to, including the food her dad and family members eat in front of her. Second, I want her to decide for herself when she is older whether she will attach any sort of label to her diet. I have personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labeling my own diet, and I don’t want to put my beliefs on her or assume that my diet is the best diet for her. That being said, we eat so many plant-based meals in this house I have no doubt that her diet will be filled with vegetables, fruit, legumes, beans, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and healthy fats! We are very grateful for the food we have access to and above all, I’d like to instill this sense of gratitude in her and also an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc. We are incredibly lucky that we even have the privilege of discussing this topic. But would we stop her from enjoying some of her dad’s chicken or a birthday cake at a friend’s party or a home-cooked meal at Mimi’s or Babcia’s house? No we won’t (assuming she doesn’t have an allergy down the road, of course).
I know that deciding what to feed one’s family is a very personal topic, but I want to be open about it as I have with my own dietary changes in the past. Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Vegan households can work really well if that is the goal (and I know many friends who are currently rocking it!), but this is what we’ve decided is right for us.
I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Have you ever struggled with the decision as to whether to label your child’s diet? Do you live in a household with different diets or allergies? How do you find a balance?
PS – Adriana turned 6 months on Saturday! We celebrated by giving her her first solid food – avocado. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. It was seriously awesome. I also re-read her birth story and cried a little. More on this feeding thing later.
xo
Comments are now closed – May 20/15
I think the author framing veganism as a diet is to miss the point of the wider ethical position. Obviously it’s a false equivalence to suggest the majority non-vegan culture and veganism are both personal choices. A choice isn’t personal if it impacts others, be they human or non-human animals.
That said at least this article doesn’t support the myth that it is possible to breed “vegans” into existence. Rather the baby/child will be plant-based during their time with parents but no more a vegan than a communist or a christian. How the baby/child and their many possible descendants will choose to behave is a gamble. They will make their decisions in the aforementioned non-vegan culture.
I am vegan but my husband isn’t. For the most part he follows a vegan lifestyle simply because he also loves all the food I make and he doesn’t feel the need to cook two separate meals. We have a one year old and we are not bringing him up vegan. Just because I am vegan doesn’t mean my son or husband should be. I believe my son should be able to make his own decisions in life. I won’t lie to him when he asks why I am vegan or I won’t lie to him when he asks what he is eating but I won’t encourage any type of diet. If I deprive him of foods he wants to try then he’s most likely going to end up ending a crazy amount of it when I’m not around. For the most part he eats vegan because he eats our dinners but he does get cheese for snacks and whatever meat daddy cooks up for him. I find a lot of people assume I’m raising him vegan and lecture me about depriving him of things before I even get a chance to say he isn’t vegan. People always have something to say.
Love this. Love YOU!
We decided to raise both of our children breastfed (which worked!) and vegan. We have a vegan household and we are so happy to have done it this way. The only part that is hard is when we go to a kids party and there are non vegan food choices – but it doesn’t seem to bother our kids as much as us. When the kids are older clearly they will have to choose for themselves what to eat, but we give them the opportunity to be lifetime vegans if they want!
Totally my way of doing.my daughter is six and she is very clear to understand the concept animals are friends not food. She even taught her cousin if she loves animals we shouldn’t eat them. I can tell my daughter avoided to tell me as she had sneaked to taste meat at kindergarten public school meal couple times. At last she understand it’s disgusted to eat meat on her own.
Thank you. A voice of reason and acceptance of everyone and their ideals. I wish I read more articles like this voicing how everyone is different and allowing them to make their own deicisions without judgement…….the world would be a more peaceful place if there were more people with the same attitude. Thank you.
This is very different from our thoughts – mine and my fiancé’s.
We are both vegan (vegan lifestyle, not just diet – as veganism isn’t just a diet), and will feed our child the same food we eat. Just like my parents brought me up eating meat (“you eat what you are served”), we will bring up our child eating vegan food. For animals, for health, for the environment. There is not really any other option for us.
When our child is older they can decide for themselves, of course, but before that – and under our roof – they will be vegan. And may God have mercy on anyone who dares feed them meat behind our backs, haha.
But of course it’s different when you are not both vegans. There will be no non-vegan food in our house, that is out of the question for both of us.
So disappointing to hear this particularly as we know that a whole foods plant based diet is the healthiest way to live as you attest to in your book. We know this. We see people recover from chronic health conditions when adopting a whole foods plant based diet. Today there isn’t a single solitary reason to eat a single animal or their secretions – it’s a purely selfish choice. This is a bloody cruel, unnecessary, miserable industry that wastes valuable resources, causes untold suffering, deforestation, polluted air and water, takes food out of mouths to feed animals, causes wildlife destruction and death and health issues. Choosing to support this vile industry is for personal selfish palates. Nothing more. We know we can live healthy, cruelty free lives without harming anyone. Ask the thousands of people too who have recovered from chronic life threatening illnesses and who now enjoy great health and ask the thousands of people who choose this lifestyle for ethical and moral reasons and who enjoy great foods and a clear conscience. Open your eyes, open your hearts. Choosing to eat someone is not a personal choice if the animal did not get to decide if he/she wanted to live. Animals and their secretions are not food. If we want a planet for the future of our children then eating a plant based diet and living a vegan lifestyle is the kindest and most ethical decision. I have given your book as gifts to so many people but in all good conscience I cannot do this anymore. I cannot support something that does not support my values and I believed that you were a proponent of a vegan lifestyle as I am sure you stated this in your book. If we know we can live healthy, cruelty free lives without harming anyone, why wouldn’t we?
My daughter wrote a book about her sister recovering from a chronic condition after years of chemo and meds and just by eliminating animal protein, after reading The China Study, she fully recovered. She lost her childhood and I would hate for any other children to go through what my daughter went through. Her book is : www.rethinkfoodbook.com If only I knew then what I know now, my daughter’s childhood would not have been spent with weekly and monthly visits to a hospital and countless medications, emotional and physical pain. I hope more people will raise their children on a whole foods plant based diet and teach them about true compassion, leaving animals alone and off our plates and raising them vegan.
As a previous fan of your blog and cookbook, I am extremely DISAPPOINTED. This is not a balanced approach. As a parent, we are here to teach our children our values and belief systems. Your husband is an adult. He’s got free will to make decisions – even bad ones – that can negatively impact his health, other animals who suffer extreme cruelty and the environment. Children rely on us as adults to teach them personal responsiblity and to define what are good choices or bad ones. I would have thought that having a child would make you more conncerned about our global environment. Animal production and consumption is the number one contributor to global environmental destruction. So each time your daughter drinks a glass of milk or eats a hamburger, I hope you teach her how she’s just help desemate 10 more hectres of rainforest and added massive amounts of polution to rivers. Otherwise, your “balanced approach” isn’t balanced at all.
TOTALLY agree. Here, raising/educating a child gave us the push to go vegetarian then vegan a few months later. We weren’t feeling honest to ourselves teaching our daughter that meat/dairy were “okay” and just a “personal choice”. It gave us the motivation to stand and be stronger. We have to educate and give the right example. That’s what I believe.
100% agree
I’m not a f/t vegan, but I don’t eat much meat or other animal foods…yet my husband and kids LOVE them! (When my daughter Anya was 8, she sat down across from me on the couch and said: “What should we talk about? Let’s talk about food. I want meat!” and went on and on about meats she loves. Honest–she really did this.)
I have no need to change who they are, and they support me in my choices, too.
I had eating disorders in my youth and I too don’t want to push labels on my kids or push “good” versus “bad” foods. Now that they are getting older (14 and 10) I see that as even more (not less) important. I also have been reminded of the importance of health because my son is a type 1 diabetic. So, we “count carbs”–but only to know how much insulin to give him. He understands that although he *can* have sugary or white-flour foods sometimes (good heavens, one has to have birthday cake), they aren’t good for him all the time. I’ve tried to send the same message to my daughter–she doesn’t have the direct impact her brother does, but she too will be healthier if she focuses mostly on healthy foods with treats as treats.
Interestingly, they differ on fruits and veggies: My son will try and likes almost any fruit, but eats few vegetables. My daughter? She tries and likes almost any vegetable…and eats almost no fruit. Pretty funny!
(Sorry to go on so long. I think about this stuff a lot…it sounds like you have a great attitude and have found the right fit/approach for *your family.*)
You cannot be a part time Vegan!
You are either a vegan or you are not.
In the same way you could not be a part time racist or homophobe.
Our 19 month old has been raised on a “vegan diet” and is very healthy. We don’t like to label ourselves as vegan, nor do we like to label him as vegan. So, we call our way of eating (that works for us) as purely nutrition :)!
I am very disappointed to see that you are misusing the word vegan. You are not a vegan. You are a plant-based dieter profiting off the vegan movement and actual vegans who genuinely believe in creating a better world for animals. Shame on you.
Hi Sara,
I have known Angela for many years and if anyone was involved in something strictly to profit, Angela would be at the bottom of that list as she is a fair, honest and very sweet person with the kindest of intentions.
As a mental health therapist who sees the effects of children being raised in environments that do not foster choice, I celebrate her open-minded, inclusive – and most importantly – non-judgmental approach to this approach to this very difficult topic.
Most of these comments breathe like a sigh of relief from people who want to be told that it’s okay to do whatever one pleases, regardless of horrific large-scale animal suffering. This moral relativism leaves out the perspectives of the animals. When choosing foods, we are choosing our ethics as well, even if that is not our intention. I wish someone had told me this when I was a child; I didn’t realize what I was really choosing when I put meat/eggs/dairy on my plate.
Great approach! I’m not vegan or even vegetarian but I do enjoy cooking your recipes. I feel like more people should have the same mentality when piercing their baby girl’s ears. Her body, her choice.
What?
Eating dead animals is more about the animal’s body than the girl’s body. It is not really comparable with getting your child’s ears pierced..
And parents always choose what their children should eat. It’s called parenting.
I respect that outlook and don’t think there is a wrong or right way to approach this. My husband and I are vegan for ethical reasons first, environmental reasons secondly and health reasons third. As my baby turns 6 months old in a couple weeks I am worried about how to give her the best nutrition with a vegan diet but it is important to us to teach her compassion towards animals and feel good about not eating animal products and be proud of it. We have slowly influenced people around us by what we eat and if we go to their house they know they need to cook vegan for us. I want her to be proud of being vegan and for standing up for the animals and I plan to educate her and include her in cooking with me. I hope that she will keep up a compassionate vegan lifestyle but if she chooses to eat meat then that’s her choice. She won’t eat dairy anyways because she and I are both allergic to it.
I hope at least you’ll educate properly your daughter about the truth of the meat and dairy products, a thing that 100% of omnivore parents I know don’t want their kids to know, they just want to perpetuate the brainwash. I’m sure you’ll explain to her that someone have to hurt the pig/chicken/cow so people can eat meat/milk. I’m sure you’ll educate you daughter about the impact on the planet of the choice of eating meat/dairy. I’m sure you’ll explain the human exploitation linked to the meat/dairy. Only with the real information she’ll be able to make a real choice. Will you explain to her even if it offense the rest of the family? And yes, kids can handle the truth, they are way smarter and compassionate then most brainwashed adults in our sad modern society.
Thanks for opening this dialogue!
My husband and I are vegan, aside from eggs we get from a small local farm that treats their chickens extremely well and keeps them as therapy chickens when they stop laying. :)
I am 36 weeks pregnant and we plan to raise our baby vegan, but have discussed how he/she would feel isolated at school functions or birthday parties because of it. We will most likely educate our child as soon as he/she is old enough to understand why we are vegan (we don’t want to harm anyone, other animals included!) and there are a few great children’s books that can help with that.
However, if our child wants to eat meat when he/she is older, maybe around 8, that’s their choice when we/he or she is/are out of the house. It’s not something I’m willing to cook and have in our home however.
But who knows how this will all really play out! ;)
You are not vegans.
Of course you can call yourself what you like, but if you eat eggs, you are vegetarians.
Thanks for you post Angela! I’m just weeks away from giving birth and have been faced with the same dilemma. I was on completely vegan diet before pregnant and my partner still ate meat but of course became much healthier because I only cooked vegan food. But during my pregnancy and on the advice of my vegan naturopath I started having the odd bit of meat from my partners meals and then having tiny bits of organic meat once a week or fortnight. I didn’t plan it this way and feel guilty that my baby has been getting a taste before she is already born but at the end of the day eating a vegan diet was never a religion for me. I did it to be healthier and found that I felt better for it and have had great influence on my family who are now eating more vegan meals. I am starting to not like the vegan label and prefer to say I eat a plant based diet. I think I will do the same with my daughter. I don’t want her to be at the odd one out at social gatherings but I will insure she is eating good quality foods. Anyway its refreshing to hear someone talking about this as a human reality rather then from their own pedestal. We can all only try to do our best to avoid or reduce eating animal produces but we aren’t all the same and sometimes leading by example and showing you aren’t perfect has the biggest influence on others around you who may even try do the same.
I feel the same way you do. I am a vegetarian and I don’t cook meat at home, but when Christmas came my kids and husband were free to eat the (grass fed organic) turkey at grandma and grandpas house if they pleased. My older son and daughter ate some and then my husband surprisingly decided not to eat any.
We eat a very alkalizing based diet at home, full of whole foods and raw salads, fruits, gluten free grains and I make everything from scratch.
The hardest part is birthday parties. Yes I may say “Well they eat so healthy at home it’s okay if they eat the food at the party” but once I’m there I turn into that protective mom and I ask “Okay…what’s organic? What doesn’t have refined sugar?” And I find myself being “that mom”! It’s hard because I know how toxic some foods are and I don’t want those in my kids systems at all. So for now while my youngest is little ( 2 years old) I think I will continue to keep her on my diet until she is older, like her brother and sister, then they can go to bday parties and make up their own minds if they want to eat that stuff or not. Once my 8 year old son came home from a party and puked…then asked for a salad! Then talked to me about how he knew he was making the wrong decision but did it anyway! Everyone needs to learn their own lessons.
No one needs a label! People are constantly evolving and so are their lifestyles! Just live, show love, and eat healthy. That’s all that matters!
Hi Angela! I read a sentence on a vegetarian message board that I wanted to share with you. While many people on there stated their 2 or 3 year olds ‘were vegan’, one mom who had a similar approach to yours wrote: ‘My baby is not vegan, she only has a vegan mom.’ And that she just wanted to give her a good start in life an lead by good example. That sentence stuck with me until now that I’m a mom myself.
My baby girl is 9 months old and just started daycare, so I had to tell the daycare which solids to give her (they are really diligent and write down in a notebook what your child ate every day) and I told them that for the moment, she eats only plant-based foods. I am vegan and my husband isn’t, but since I’m the one who cooks at home and he loves my food, he only eats non-vegan foods outside of the home. We have started solids at 5 months and it might interest you to hear that so far she has tried a variety of things and loves her tofu cubes, red lentils, split peas, quinoa, hummus… along with a ton of different veggies of which her favorite is broccoli! So I gave daycare a list of all those things and they are surprised how many things you can give a baby who only eats plants! I just didn’t want to feed her anything potentially harmful to her health at an age where she doesn’t choose anything yet anyway. And I will tell family members never to feed her meat. BUT as she grows older, I’m thinking preschool, she can try eggs and whatever else she wants to try, I want her to discover the world on her own. It just doesn’t make sense yet at the baby stage to me, because I still make choices for her.
It’s entirely up to you how you want to raise your children. (Congratulations, by the way!) My only concern is that these kinds of posts change people’s understanding of what was originally a very clearly-defined term. “Vegan” means to eschew all animal products. In addition to not eating meat, dairy, or eggs, vegans don’t eat honey; don’t wear leather, silk, or animal wools; don’t buy products that were tested on animals; don’t go to zoos, aquaria, or circuses with animals; etc. Sending the message out that it’s still “living a vegan lifestyle” if you buy, cook, and feed meat to your kids is simply an improper use of the term. “Plant-based diet” is more accurate.