On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Happy 2nd anniversary and congratulations on such a successful blog, career and learning to love yourself. I have been reading your blog for about 8 months and I absolutely love it, I must say I am disappointed when I click on your site and see the home page is one I have already read! I just love your writing style and your mouth watering pictures! I Have tried many of your recipes and they have all been delicious so far. (With your help) I have grown to love my body even with it’s imperfections, if I ever feel unhappy with what I see I just remember that this body birthed a beautiful baby boy! Being a mother is the most amazing thing I have ever done and probably will ever do and for that I have to thank my body. You truly are an inspiration to me and so many others, keep up the great work and take care <3
Hi Angela & Happy Birthday to OSG!
I love to share my passion for cooking and I’m SLOWLY learning to share my passion for writing. Thanks for providing inspiration for both-
Jennifer
I was always a fat kid, fat teenager, and fat young adult. About 7 years ago, I lost 70 pounds but I still would like to lose about 20 more. This 20 pounds has been the bane of my existence for SEVEN YEARS. Rather than be proud of the weight I did lose, I’ve been fixated on the weight that I couldn’t lose (most likely due to a pretty severe thyroid disorder I’ve had for 10 years). Anyway, a couple of weeks ago I woke up on a Saturday morning, had breakfast with my super handsome husband, and drove the 10 minutes to a nearby state forest for a run. It was on mile 3 of that 5 mile trail run that I realized that I have become the woman I always wanted to be and that I did it without losing that 20 pounds. It was kind of an epiphany.
I love your blog and your positive attitude! Congrats on the 2 year anniversary of OSG!
Hey, just curious about what your thyroid condition is. I have Hashimoto’s and worked with a Naturopath to revamp my diet, and if you haven’t tried that yet it might help you. There is research that links gluten intolerances to thyroid problems so if you haven’t tried giving up gluten it might be worth a try.
I stumbled across your blog about a year ago now and I look forward to reading every new post. I have lost 100 pounds in my own journey to better health and I NEVER thought to forgive myself, and just LOVE everything I am until I read a few of your posts. It has been an even more amazing struggle since I first tried letting all the hurt go, but it has been more than worth it. Happy 2nd Birthday OSG. Thank you for spreading the love. <3
Oh Ange! Happy bloggie-birthday! I found you when this baby was just 6 months old and I’ve thoroughly enjoyed reading every single day…sometimes two or three times a day! ;) I’m 30 this year and have finally, finally figured out how to give up caring what others think about me. Letting that go has been the most liberating feeling I’ve experienced in my life to date. I used to think about being in the right crowd, wearing the right clothes, having perfect hair and teeth, being the right size, having the right amout of money, etc. After years of torturing myself and feeling like I had to measure up, I now live in freedom and without that disrespect to myself. Much of my peace came from building my relationship with God and growing every day in Him. Some days I fall down, but that doesn’t prevent me from carrying on…and continuing to stomp out those old feelings that try to creep into my life. My next goal is to squelch my habbit of worrying about things I cannot control…like if every little pain in my body is something seriously wrong or if my husband will lose his job again. This is my next thing to overcome.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. I have decided to find strength from within myself – not from outside validation. I can be my own worst enemy if I choose to be – or I can be my biggest proponent – m best friend, head cheerleader, and go-to-girl. After struggling with eating disorders, PTSD, sexual assault – I’ve decided that only I am in control of my attitude and life approach. Yes, things in life will happen that are inexplicable and uncontrollable, but how we all chose to respond to those experiences is most important. I can’t predict the future, but I CAN chose to have a positive outlook and relish every second that I have to live. LIFE IS FOR LIVING!
Happy Anniversary!! I’m a huge fan of your blog! I have recently started running and I think I’m becoming addicted. I’ve tried running before but was never successful. This time around, I signed up for a 12-week group training and it’s been wonderful! I’m hoping my passion for running continues and allows me to go further!
Hey,
I love your blog I read it everyday. I use many of your recipes and now about 80% of my eating is vegan. You inspired me to regain my health. I quit my pack a day smoking habit, I run , I do hot yoga and have really started to enjoy life. Thanks for being such a wonderful inspiration!
my passions are my kids, running and healthy eating! I’ve taken a long journey over 10 years from bad w/ food to good with food to ok with food. It has been challenging going through pregnancy and coming out with a positive outlook. I am working on it!
You are so inspirational Angela! Your blog is amazing, and it has given me so many recipe ideas!
My journey right now is to earn my certification to become a school guidance counselor!
Stacey!
Happy 2 Year Blogiversary!
Love your story and how far you’ve come, Angela!
Let’s see…I am passionate about living each day to the fullest, not taking no for an answer, living outside one’s comfort zone because you never know what great thing you will discover :)
Congratulations! I love this blog so much, and it has been so inspiring to me. As a senior in high school, I’m still figuring out what my passions are, but I am hoping to study abroad in Spain for a year before college.
Happy Bloggiversary! I love that my body always knows best :)
I have grown to love my strong, curvy hips :)
Happy Birthday to OSG! That is exciting! Something I love about myself would be that I am a nurse and I get to take care of people. I feel like it is an awarding job!
Happy 2 years! I started reading your blog last summer and love it. You are so inspiring :) My passions are running, biking, animals, horseback riding, cooking, and eating good food.
Angela, the choice to give up your plans and career pursuits in order to follow your dreams inspires me. I graduated from college a couple years ago, and attempted a Ph.D. program and 2 master’s programs, only to return home to the exact place I started. I realize that I’ve been so busy doing the “right” thing by continuing along the track I had planned on for so long, I have somehow lost who I am in the process. I’ve been listening to everyone else–parents, professors, friends. All the little voices giving their input and suggestions, and yet I haven’t stopped to consider what I really, really want. I’m still trying to figure out exactly what that is. I find that the things I’m passionate about won’t really be able to generate immediate income (artwork, publishing books, etc.). It’s so hard to be a creative soul stuck in a culture that prides itself on conventionalism and hard work. Where do the artists go, and what do they do? Anyway, amidst my “existential crisis,” I am learning for perhaps the first time what I truly want, and this post encourages me to not give up on that search. Thank you for loving yourself and being yourself, because it is by doing that that you have been able to affect so many people.
I love your blog, it is one of my favorites. I relish seeing the new recipes that are posted and your vegan experiences. Congrats on 2 years and being you. Now time for some sharing, me 2 years ago, I was going through a divorce which meant selling my house, moving in with my parents, having financial turmoil from all of it, dealing with losing family and friends I had for years and would probably never see again and a lot of uncertainties. Through all of it I never questioned myself. I knew that I was an amazing person and that I would get through all of the situations. Today I am in my own place, have a great job opportunity that has presented itself, financially secure, pursuing a Master’s degree, and the happiest I’ve ever been. I call myself now “the rock” for my friends. It seems a lot of people lose sight of who they are and that can lead to devastation. I’m glad for everything I’ve been through, and just like you and your experiences with eating issues, it makes us who we are.
Happy 2nd Birthday!! I have been reading your blog for about a year now. With each passing day, I look up to you for inspiration and encouragement. You seem to be an amazing women that I can too someday wish to be. I currently struggle daily to love myself, but I am slowly finding that I can.
I sometimes also struggle with self-love, and some disordered eating habits. Nothing too serious, but I will often try to “save calories” or think I need to be “perfect” in order to feel as though I’m worth something. I’ve gotten so much better in the last year through reading blogs likes yours. Thank you for being inspiration to us all that you should love your body and treat it well.