On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Congratulations on your second anniversary! I’m new to your blog and really, really love it. I find your posts inspiring and your story really resonates with me.
I absolutely adore food, and have recently decided to turn my love of food from a passion into a career. In January, I am starting a part time program to study holistic nutrition and I am so, so excited!
Happy 2nd Bday, OSG!! I have a ways to go on my journey of figuring out my career, but I am so happy to be where I am with my journey in terms of figuring out the person I want to be and accepting who I am. Blogging has definitely helped with that! Thank you for your wonderful culinary inspiration and for sharing your journey to self-love…I know it’s helped more than just me.
Happy birthday OSG! Recently found you within the last few weeks and am so grateful! I appreciate you sharing your ups and downs and have found a lot of encouragement browsing your page. Already tried a few of the recipes and can’t wait to try more! love!!
congratulations on the anniversary! your blog is so great, and it’s helped me in so many ways. as far as what i’m passionate about, i’ve realized how much i love children and appreciate all the things they can teach me, so i’m inspired to help those who haven’t always had it easy be the best that they can be and have every possible chance in life. someone’s background shouldn’t have to dictate their future, and everyone deserves the right to a free, balanced education. i hope one day i can help a bright, passionate, inquisitive, polite, but otherwise disadvantaged girl pay for her college education!
happy blogiversary! i guess in some ways i’m still trying to figure out what my passion is, and it’s driving me crazy. i do love the fact that i can call myself a “runner” after hating running for so many years, but currently training for a marathon has admittedly taken some of the fun out of it for me, and i’m hoping to find that again over the winter.
I have been reading your blog for amount 2 months. Thanks for the great recipes. I loved seeing your Paris pictures. Happy 2 years!
Happy 2nd Birthday, OSG!
I love, love this blog. Thanks, Angela, so much for writing!
Those are some awesome prizes!
One thing I love about myself is my ability to focus on my long-term goals!
OSG is my fav!! I love reading a Canadian blog that reminds me of home (I grew up in Toronto, now live in Vancouver). You rock!
I am passionate about doing well in school and maintaining a healthy balance between my family/friends/boyfriend/school/exercise/me time!!
Happy birthday!
For most of my life, I have felt accepted and comfortable in my own body. But then I entered college where I realized that people didn’t know who I was and it seemed like no one cared either. In hopes of finding acceptance, I began losing weight by staying on a strict diet. After losing 10 pounds, I still wasn’t happy and I couldn’t figure out why people didn’t find interest in me. Then began my struggle with myself. I began binging to try to fill that emptiness, but that of course only made matters worst.
I am still constantly fighting these negative thoughts and trying to break this self-centered mindset. Talking is a good way for me to suppress my negative thoughts, but I find interacting with others who have overcome an eating disorder is the most encouraging thing when I feel like I will never overcome this drive for acceptance.
Thank you for sharing your experiences and for being an inspiration to me and others who are/have struggled with self-acceptance. I’m hoping that by your 3rd birthday, I will be able to love myself from the inside out.
Happy 2nd anniversary :D.
Last year I was living in my cegep’s dorms and when I got my apartment in june I rediscovered my love of cooking/baking. When I’m in the kitchen, I get a moment away from my problems, it is like meditation with a yummy treat afterwards!
I have learned to LOVE running!
Happy blogiversary! I’ve followed your blog for over a year and love ever bit of it!
All throughout college, I’ve had a hard time trying to decide what career I want to go into. But now as an almost senior, I’ve finally realized that it’s okay–I don’t need to know exactly what I want to do at this point in my life. I’m only 20 years old! To my surprise I feel relieved and happy. I’d love to have found my passion by now, but it’s a journey and I’m excited to try out each new opportunity until I find one that fits me.
hey angela! love your blog and your message!! congratulations and happy birthday! :) if you get a chance, please check out my comedy blog :) www.pattiebrewster.co.uk. thanks and happy halloween!!
cheers to a fantastic website ran by an amazin’ woman! You’re my inspiration that anyone can be successful!
Happy blog birthday to Oh She Glows!
Through reading healthy living blogs like yours, I have learned to love cooking, baking, eating healthy and fitness. I just started my own blog two months ago today and I think it will help me on my journey to eventually pursue a career with nutrition or fitness, as I am not that happy in my current profession, like you weren’t in your research job.
Thanks for being an inspiration and for this lovely contest!
happy anniversary! i’m passionate about lots of things – music, literature, running, my fam + friends. keep up the great work, and i look forward to reading more!
oh my gosh thank YOU for letting us into your lives! seriously, angela, i’m not sure where i would be without your blog (as dramatic as that sounds). i found it during a really difficult time in my life when self-love felt so far off and so unobtainable. your sunshine-y attitude and bits of encouragement (and delicious recipes!) helped me keep my head up when i thought i couldn’t. it was nice to see someone on the other side of the tunnel.
that being said, i’ve learned a lot this year. i’ve learned i can love myself despite what i originally though. i learned i am worthy of all good things. the best part? i actually believe it.
thanks again, angela, and happy two year!
I am still struggling to love myself fully, but I feel that with each day that I am kind to myself and quiet my inner mean girl, I learn that change is possible and my goal IS attainable!
I can’t believe how many have entered already! I’d love to enter this contest.
Reading OSG totally made me see that I’m not alone in my long history of eating disorders. I’m finally getting back to a normal way of eating after 5 years. I’m also taking more and more steps towards finding and loving myself. I just got out of a 4 year relationship that just didn’t seem good for me anymore. Thank you for all the inspiration and support your blog offers!
-Mel
wow congrats on this 2 year mark! thats fantastic, you have come a long long way.
It is inspiring to see and share in your journey thus far, as i begin my own journey of self-love, and self-appreciation and respect. You give hope to many woman out there that they can still eat, and enjoy food and life together and not be ashamed.