On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Angela, I want to thank YOU as an amazing individual for talking about your experience and what worked and continues to work for you. I think that so many many people today have disordered relationships with their bodies and food, but are afraid to talk about it because they don’t fit the text book definition of having an ED.
Though I am still working through some serious stuff, you are one of the people that have inspired me to WORK ON IT rather than stick to the “safety” of being in an ED’d mindset. If no one spoke up about these issues, it would be a lot harder, and I am so thankful to have Oh She Glows as a wonderful example of a lovely young woman who “got her glow back” and is doing something she is truly passionate about.
THANKS!
As my 4 kids get older (ages 14, 13, 11 & 11), I see what great kids they are and realize how much they love me (and I them). This makes me know I’m a great mom!
Happy happy 2nd birthday OSG! Thank you so much for inspiring me and my family through this site! I’ve been reading for about a year now, and have finally been able to let go of my self-critisim and be content with where I am every day!
Happy anniversary! I love myself through healthy food and movement and loving my husband. Like you and many others!
Congratulations on your 2 year anniversary! I love my passion for animals and people.
Happy Birthday, OSG! Thank you for helping me fight my own battles with disordered eating and thinking!
Since I’ve started running, I’ve grown to love my legs. They short, but they are full of muscle and endurance. I never saw them in such a positive light before.
I stubbled across your blog about 6 months ago and have rarely missed a post! Happy 2 years :)
I have a newly-found passion for running and healthy eating! Believe it or not, I’ve gained weight since discovering these two new passions (and that’s a great thing). Previously, I’d consume maybe 800 calories a day just so I didn’t have to work out and not gain weight. I thought this was healthy, however I felt HORRIBLE! I was clearly underweight but still saw compared myself to a whale. Long story short, I’ve discovered a love for eating and a love for running and I couldn’t be more happy with my body :)
Happy birthday osg! I really have found my passion for cooking and baking. I love when my parents or bf really enjoy something I’ve worked really hard on. Can’t wait to try new things
I’ve learned to love myself- period. I love that I am a pretty decent fly fisherwoman, a good wife and mommy to our dogs, and becoming a stronger and stronge person each day. :)
Congratulations and thanks for your two years of blogging! I finally quit my secure but mind-numbingly boring desk job for a field job I’m in love with!
Happy Birthday, OSG! So often, your blog provides me with the perfect mental break, calming my thoughts and challenging me to find my true self. Over the last couple of years, I’ve been learning that lifeplans don’t have a straight line, so you need to embrace the journey.
congrats angela- you are amazing!!!
i’ve learned my passion for fitness is much stonger than i ever realized after falling into teaching dailey method classes. so much so that i am about to quit my 9-5 job to focus on teaching full time! i can’t imagine my life without it!!!
Happy Blogiversary Angela! I consider your blog a part of my daily life and am thankful to have your thoughtful, interesting recipes and life lessons to read about each day. Writing has always been one of my passions as well. But even more so, my children and being as healthy as possible for them has become one of my main focuses in life. Eating healthy every day, exercising and learning to be happy in my skin makes me a better mom to them.
Angela,
Thank you so much for all the time you put into your blog and making the world a better place, and happy 2nd birthday to OSG! At this time last year, I was trapped inside my own eating disorder; it was my only friend, my only passion, my entire world. A year later, I’m still not 100% recovered, for me, food is a battle every day. But your blog, delicious recipes, beautiful photography, and overall outlook on life have really helped me through it all. Now I view food as an indulgence, as fuel, rather than as something to be feared or controlled. Writing and exercise have also been two bright spots in my recovery, and have helped me realize the true power of my mind and body, and how food should only help me to become more powerful and passionate about life. Again, thank you so much for everything you do!
I am a vegetarian and I LOVE healthy food. I just ran my first 10k race and I cannot wait to run another! I never thought I would be a runner, but here I am!
I would love to enter into your amazing contest!
One thing I love about myself is my strength. With my strength I have been able to overcome many challenges in my life and am able to accept these hard changes.
One thing I am passionate about is inspiring others. I like to inspire otheres to eat healthy and embrace healthy eating but also inspire others to love their bodies because I have not loved my body many times.
Your story is amazing and inspiring and so is your blog! Thanks for all you do!
Wow! 2 years! Congrats! :) I really love the beautiful pictures and happy, positive thoughts you share every day!
I’ve recently grown a new passion for cooking. I realized I’ve eaten way too many pre-packaged, processed foods and I’m really starting to make things from scratch and learn to love cooking. It takes up a lot of time, I don’t feel like I have the evenings free like I used to, but I’m happier about what I’m putting in my body and how I’m handling my life :) It’s a work in progress, but I’m getting there!
Happy Blog-o-versary! Hooray :-)
I absolutely love your blog! I found it by happy accident and now i read it everyday :) It has definitely helped me stay on track with healthy eating and exercise and now I am finally feeling more comfortable in my body. :)
Happy Birthday, OSG and congratulations on finding your true self. Life is certainly a journey. This year I took up running and challenged myself to complete a half marathon and finished in a time that made me float for weeks afterwards. I have found a wonderful group of fellow runners, and we support each other through the hills of life and on the trails.