On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Happy 2nd Birthday to OSG! I am passionate about being a Mom and finding creative healthy meals & treats for my two boys that they love and that I know are good for them. Your recipes have given me many great ideas to help in that area. I am also passionate about running … I am not a speed demon but it is my “zen time” …. the only quiet time during the day that I have.
I can completely relate to the journey you went through and feel myself still going through it. I am struggling to follow my passions and love and accept my true self. It’s something I struggle with every day and I, too, have found that writing and blogging help give me an outlet. Having writing to turn to has put me in the direction to accept myself and love who I really am. Congrats to you for being in a good place now, it gives me hope. Happy Birthday OSG! I would love to be entered into the contest!
Happy Anniversary!!! Thanks to you and a couple other blogs that I read daily, I have started my own. It has helped me as well. I have dealt with depression and anxiety for most of my life….it runs in the family…I have found that running and keeping a blog helps me focus on the people I love and the many reasons to be and stay happy and healthy. Thank you!
Angela,
OSG has changed my life, irrevocably and for the better. You have become part of my daily routine, one that I cherish and enjoy. Your honesty about your history with disordered eating is refreshing, cleansing, and extrinsically cathartic. It is hard these days to distance oneself from the social pressures of thinspiration, and your blog is like the jedi force of the healthy woman’s world. Thank you for inspiring each and every one of your readers every day. You are a part of our live’s that I’m sure none of us want to do without.
Happy Halloween, from Vancouver BC.
xoxo
Happy Birthday OSG! I have grown a lot over the past few years in the realms of healthy eating and self-love. I had a bad relationship with food for a long time and spent years filling my body with “diet” foods instead of eating what I enjoy. Now I eat a variety of delicious, healthy, filling foods and have taken the plunge to blog about my thoughts and eats. Thanks for your inspirational blogging, as many of your recipes are my all time favorites! GL w/ Challenge 7!
Happy Blog Anniversary!! My passion has become running and while some days I still don’t look forward to getting out of bed to run in the morning, once I get going, I realize how lucky I am to be able to run at all and truly feel blessed! I’m hoping to run my second full marathon next year, and through reading blogs such as yours, I’ve finally learned about properly fueling and eating real foods. Thanks for all of the amazing recipes you’ve shared over your two years with the blog thus far!
Your passion and dedication for writing and blogging is incredible. Since starting to read your blog, I have canceled magazine subscriptions. OSG blog is honest, uplifting, and healthy ; no mannequins or pill advertisements.
Cheers,
M.
Happy 2nd birthday OSG!! I have learned to love my dimples =)
Congrats on your two years of blogging! I love reading your blog because I can tell that you have overcome so much and you seem so happy. I’m probably in a similar place to where you were two years ago- still uncomfortable with myself and trying to figure everything out. I’m in the process of working through it and I think it’s all going to work out.
I also have a passion for writing- I have had this passion since I was little. I am too afraid to write a blog because the thought of feeling “exposed” terrifies me, but I do a lot of creative writing in private. I also have a passion for nutrition (which I am studying in school) and I hope that by sharing this passion, I can work towards self-love.
I think it is wonderful that you are so open about your history, and you should be proud. You appear to be free of the disordered eating and getting the most out of life :) Congratulations again, on two wonderful years!
I really enjoy reading your blog.
I enjoy fitting exercise into my busy life. It always makes me feel better.
Thanks for all the inspiration and yummy recipes.
Thank you for starting this amazing blog. I have really valued hearing your story and can completely relate with your struggle of loving yourself. I spent most of my childhood and teenage years living in the shadow of my best friend. After several years in college I began running again and taking more of an interest in what I fuel my body with. Since then, while I have my ups and downs, I can confidently say that I no longer feel the need to hide behind someone and I value my individuality and healthy lifestyle more than anything.
OSG,
First, I would like to say I love your blog.
Second, I would like to say that I too, am struggling with self-love.
Third, I would like to say your blog is helping me to overcome my anxieties, and I hope to one day start a blog of my own, thanks to inspirational blogs like yours.
Finally, I just want to say thank you for sharing your stories and putting yourself out there for the world to see. You truly are an inspiration.
Keep smiling.
Congrats on year #2!
I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now, and it has inspired me in more ways than you can imagine. I hope to soon be free of disordered eating, and your blog has helped me get to where I am now. I would love to start a blog in the near future since cooking, baking, and healthy living are some of my greatest passions. Thank you for all you do!
Happy Birthday Oh She Glows!!
Thank you for being my inspiration for blogging!! You blog is still my very favorite!! I love your recipes, your spirit and your beautiful photos!! :)
:)
Jess
Angela,
Being married to a wonderful guy who tells me how beautiful I am every day has finally made me believe it. It’s taken years of hearing it every day to actually grasp the truth. I’ve started telling myself this every day, too, to ensure I never forget it. I’m 2 or 3 sizes bigger than I was when I met my husband while I was in the midst of a divorce. Food and exercise where the only things I felt like I could control during that time. My self-esteem came from my body and not from believing I was a beautiful person. I used to avoid letting my husband touch me when I felt fat or unattractive. I couldn’t believe that he still wanted me after I put on weight or hadn’t worked out in a while. Today, I finally believe that my beauty isn’t about what size I am or how fit I am. I have my husband to thank for helping me realize this.
Happy 2nd Birthday!
I am in the process of learning to love myself now. You see I have come to realization that I have an eating disorder, but mine is not because of restricting, mine is that food has become my very best friend. I never struggled with my weight until a few years ago. I was in a long term relationship that I ended, I was/am a single mom and I quit my job to go to school full time. In the process I cut off all my friends and stopped going to the gym. Life was hard, but food was comforting, so comforting that I gained almost 100 pounds in only a few months. I can’t stand the person I see in the mirror everyday. I cancel plans with my friends and coworkers all the time because I don’t want to go out of the house looking this way. Angela, You have inspired me to start my own blog, to learn to love myself and my body again. Your story and your site is wonderful. Thank you for not only loving yourself, but all of us as well.
Hi Angela,
I am a new follower, but I truly enjoy your blog. You are wise beyond you years and your family must be very proud of you.
I have suffered from disordered eating all my life (and I am in my 60s). My disorder is that I don’t know when to stop. I eat a very healthy diet as far as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, etc.: however, I have never learned portion control and therefore carry many unwanted pounds. I also have a fused ankle which prevents serious walking as an exercise. Swimming would be the best but bathing suits are not in my wardrobe.
I also have many food allergies (peanuts, tree-nuts, shellfish, lentils, coconut & more).
But, where there is life there is hope. I am much luckier than many in this world today. I can be out of bed and showered and out of the house in an hours time. It takes so many people an hour just to get out of bed.
I would love to win one of your prizes but even if I don’t, I will continue to read your words each day and hope that you continue to inspire one and all.
Thank you for all the space.
Meryl
Happy Blog Birthday!!! Your blog is the very first food/healthy living/lifestyle blog that I came across on the way to becoming a vegetarian. Thanks for being part of my everyday for so long! I love that in the last 2 years, I have gone from being completely unhappy with my life, self, and job to quitting my job and beginning a whole new life that life! Thank you for doing a giveaway.
i’ve struggled with an eating disorder in the past, but your blog has been an inspiration to me and has showed me that happiness begins with the changes that I, myself, must make. obsessing over my weight and appearance has only brought me down over the years and since then i’ve been working on rediscovering my true self and learning to love who i am.
Happy birthday OSG. I recently found your blog and have been reading it faithfully. Your story is inspiring and your posts make me smile.
It touched me when you spoke of loving yourself. In the last 14 months I have lost 125 pounds. My body has been through a lot and even as I approach a “healthy” weight for myself I struggle with self image. My body shows its journey… loose skin, stubborn areas I wish were smaller, bumps and bruises. I am slowly learning to accept all of its imperfections. This body might wobble when I run, but it allowed me to run a 5K race yesterday in just over 25 minutes and still got up this morning and carried me on an 8K run. I love my body for that.