On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Happy 2nd Birthday OSG!!!!
After struggling for so long to know what I wanted to be when I “grew up” I decided to go back to school to become a holistic nutritionist. I’m learning a lot about how my body works, but I still don’t know what I want to “do” with my career.
I’ve had a long journey dealing with self esteem issues (both related and unrelated to appearance) and while I still deal with those issues, I love the fact that I now know that my fixations are NOT indicative of my worth and I can learn to overcome them one step at a time.
I love that I have been brave enough to attempt things I never would have in the past two years. I broke out of my comfort zone in many ways: moved to a new town for a job, ran 2 half marathons, presented at conferences in front of really big groups, and have met lots of new people. I NEVER thought I could do any of these things!! As others have said, I find so much inspiration from your blog- rock on.
Congratulations OSG! :)
My passions consist of yoga, food, and people. :) I am learning trial by error that just being ok with the passions/hobbies you chose to put into your life will lead you down a path. What path? It’s any path I choose, one filled with happiness. And for me, as I am sure for everyone else, following my passion brings happiness. There’s no determination set in stone about the ‘money’ it will make me. But that comes after. After I am happy, and content and living a fulfilling life of my very own passions.
Cheers Angela, I hope you have a great day celebrating!!
Happy Blog Birthday OSG!
I’ve realized how much I love the structure of training for a fitness goal- I thrive having a schedule of workouts and find that my body craves healthier food to fuel itself. I ran my first full marathon at the beginning of October! Your blog has given me so many great ideas for delicious, healthy foods – thanks for letting us read about your journey these past 2 years!
Happy anniversary!
Something I have grown to love about my myself is my round, juicy, strong thighs! I always hated them because (I think) they are huge thunder thighs (others tell me they are normal, they are probably right). I learned to love them anyways because the only thing they can’t do for me is fit into a size 0 pair of jeans. What they can do for me is run half marathons, downhill ski for hours on end, carry me everywhere on a daily basis, and look really really great and strong in a tight pair of running leggings :) So I have learned to love the juciy jiggle of my thighs because without them I would be a very unhappy girl.
Happy birthday OSG! Your blog makes me want to turn vegan to make delicious food like you make!!
What a great giveaway! I have a deep passion for running, and as I am struggling through a string of injuries right now, I am learning to be more patient with myself and trust that God has a plan for my life. A plan that is great than anything that I could dream up myself.
Congratulations on your 2nd blogiversary. I so much appreciate the words that you type each day as a way to be reminded that I too can beat the ups and downs of disordered eating. While I have not beaten it completely, I feel so much closer after finding your blog. My journey to overcoming it has begun, thanks to you.
Hi Angela, I’ve been following your blog for a little over a year now and every day I look forward to reading a new post. I am 20 years old and still struggling with disordered eating, but there is a very strong side of me that just wants to be balanced and healthy, without starving or bingeing. I love and have a passion for healthy cooking, and your recipes really inspire me to fuel my body and nourish it. Your posts keep me inspired to just be healthy and love my body- every day there is a new take on how to do it. Thank you so much for helping me although you may not know it!
also, HAPPY HALLOWEEN!
Congrats on your blogoversary :)
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months, and I love it! Even though I’m not vegan, you have some amazing recipes that I’ve been wanting to try to make.
My passion is baking. Realizing that this is my passion in life has finally let me stop fooling myself about what I want to do in life, and finally take the initiative I need to go to culinary school.
Happy 2nd birthday OSG! Your’s was one of the first “healthy living” blogs that I’ve found and I LOVE it! I love to check your blog and see a new post–always gives me a boost to my day and something to think about!
Through reading blogs like yours, I’ve embraced healthy foods, cooking, and running! Thanks for all you do :-)
I have recently moved to a small town in Alaska and have fond a passion through volunteering at our local radio station. My bf and I have a radio show every Saturday and I really look forward to those 2 hours of great music and dancing (yes, I dance in the studio)! :)
In September 2009 I started running after getting into healthy living blogs.
I couldn’t run more than 90 seconds without having to take a walking break.
Today, I just finished my longest run yet – 9 miles in 1 h, 28 min, and 46 seconds. I am SO proud of myself. Before, I only worked out to lose weight or feel less guilty about having french fries. Now, I work out because it makes me feel good, and I love to see how much I can push myself.
I’ve never been happier with myself than I have been for the past year.
your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
oops! copy and pasted the earlier section so i’d remember what i was writing about – then i forgot to delete it!
Happy blog birthday! I have been on a journey for self-love for a while now and I think today I felt a growing sense of it. It is hard work but I am trying to be a bit more confident every day!
Congrats OSG on 2 years! I just discovered your little gift to the online world about a month ago and I love checking in daily for my dose of inspiration. As a result, I have started running again and it feels amazing. Last winter, I spent 4 months training for my first triathlon in May, and when I finished it I felt amazing, but burnt out from the 6 day a week training I was doing. I needed a rest, which essentially turned into a 4 month hiatus from most activity. I have finally regained my passion for fitness for fun and I in part owe that to discovering your blog. Your words inspired me to find that spot in me that ignites the desire to move my body for no other reason other than joy. Not because I have to, or because I want to lose weight, but because I want to. So for that, I thank you for helping rediscover my passion for fitness.
My passion has become leading the Green Team at my school, initiating everything from community gardens, recycling systems, Earth Day festivities, etc.
It has become my passion ’cause I’ve truly discovered the power of one in making sustainable, concrete change. :)
Something that I’ve grown to love about myself is that I’m never afraid to speak to anyone. You won’t get anything unless you ask for it. :)
Awesome giveaway, Angela! I am so grateful that I am learning to see myself the way God sees me: That I am His creation and His child and am incredibly valuable and so wonderfully loved. That brings me a lot of joy. Love your blog, Angela, I tell my husband and family how impressed I am with the effort and care you put into this place and we all appreciate the delicious recipes too!
Happy Birthday OSG!
I love that my body gives me second chances!
I have recently applied for an opportunity I am passionate about and if I get it I am going to stop graduate school. It has never made me happy and has been the source of far too many tears. So it is time to move on…I have my fingers crossed! It is so inspirational to read about people like you who hve made such huge leaps in their lives and have found a way to have fun each and every day. By the way, I am definitely rooting for you to win foodbuzz. You are amazing.