Hands down, one of the most asked questions I’ve received since I announced my pregnancy last March is whether we will raise our daughter a vegan. It’s something that Eric and I discussed long before getting pregnant, but we revisited the topic again when I did get pregnant. I’ve been clear in the past that our household is not a vegan household – Eric doesn’t follow a vegan diet, although a lot of his meals are vegan because he loves the food that I make (yup, tooting my own horn! hah). He now enjoys hundreds of foods he wouldn’t even touch when we first started dating and it’s been incredible to see his diet transform over the years from deep fried fast food to vibrant veggie-filled home-cooked meals. From eating a huge bowl of frosted flakes cereal to a huge green smoothie every morning, the change has been huge. So even though he’s become more conscious about selecting organic meat from local farms whenever possible and eschewing a large amount of dairy from his diet, he has no plans of going vegan. I support him completely; after all, he was never vegan before we met and he is happy and healthy which is what matters.
Many people have assumed that we would raise Adriana on a vegan diet, but we’ve actually decided not to label her diet in any shape or form. This is for a couple reasons. First, I want her to be able to try any food that she wants to, including the food her dad and family members eat in front of her. Second, I want her to decide for herself when she is older whether she will attach any sort of label to her diet. I have personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labeling my own diet, and I don’t want to put my beliefs on her or assume that my diet is the best diet for her. That being said, we eat so many plant-based meals in this house I have no doubt that her diet will be filled with vegetables, fruit, legumes, beans, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and healthy fats! We are very grateful for the food we have access to and above all, I’d like to instill this sense of gratitude in her and also an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc. We are incredibly lucky that we even have the privilege of discussing this topic. But would we stop her from enjoying some of her dad’s chicken or a birthday cake at a friend’s party or a home-cooked meal at Mimi’s or Babcia’s house? No we won’t (assuming she doesn’t have an allergy down the road, of course).
I know that deciding what to feed one’s family is a very personal topic, but I want to be open about it as I have with my own dietary changes in the past. Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Vegan households can work really well if that is the goal (and I know many friends who are currently rocking it!), but this is what we’ve decided is right for us.
I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Have you ever struggled with the decision as to whether to label your child’s diet? Do you live in a household with different diets or allergies? How do you find a balance?
PS – Adriana turned 6 months on Saturday! We celebrated by giving her her first solid food – avocado. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. It was seriously awesome. I also re-read her birth story and cried a little. More on this feeding thing later.
xo
Comments are now closed – May 20/15
I think all these comments that say that us vegans are cruel to Angela and judgemental are so badly placed. We (vegans) see the cruelty that occurs every single day. We have to live with the norm of exploting animals every second of our lives. I don’t think that most of these comments are directing toward Angela’s choice as to allowing her child to eat animal products. I think it’s more how she frames veganism as a diet and thus limiting the message veganism carries. A lot of us live with omnivores.
For me, it’s all about how Angela reduces veganism to diet that upsets me. Also downplaying the ethical ground gets to me. I can see why Angela wouldn’t want to talk about the animals, because then she might exclude a lot of her plant-based readers. Most non-vegans don’t want to hear the truth.
I think there has been a transition from the ethical perspective of a vegan diet to more of one that is centered around nutrition for quite some time now. Honestly, you should be happy. It seems to be much more effective than fear mongering. There are SO many more options on menus at restaurants that are not only vegan, but also GOOD for you and not just junk food vegan.
And it may be “plant-based” but that’s not to say it still isn’t benefiting animals
Plant-based does not mean you stop looking at animals as commodities.
Plant-based does not mean that you stop supporting cruelty.
Plant-based does not mean that animal rights is a priority.
Plant-based means you are not eating meat and therefore you are reducing the suffering of animals by not participating in the exploitation of animals for food. The end result is the same whether you are doing it for animal rights, better health, or because you keep up with trends. Everyday hundreds – if not thousands – of people are eating meals that have no meat because of Angela. It would behoove people to think more about the animals and less about some pure definition of a word. Otherwise, what are they really contributing?
Asa we should just be happy. They are reducing the vegan message to something that has nothing to do with the animals or animal liberty but rather exploits peoples own self interest and indulgence because after all who cares in the end if the converts are still blissfully ignorant; they are furthering our cause?
I don’t see how they are furthering the vegan message by diluting it. Vegans recognize that our lives are no more valuable than that of a chicken or a pig or a dog.
Please please please stop confusing plant based with vegan.
Vegan is NOT a diet, it is a compassionate way of life causing the least harm possible. Vegans are against all animal exploitation. Why not raise your baby as vegan? then your child, as an adult, can decide what or who to eat. Lets remember here that a human baby needs zero animal flesh or secretions to grow healthfully.
I totally agree! I’ve been a vegetarian for 21 years, but my husband eats meat on occasion and my 13 month old has already eaten different kinds of meat. I want him to choose his own food path when he gets older like I was able to do. It can be really tricky to be a vegetarian and visit with friends, and I’d like him to be able to eat whatever he wants at friend’s houses as he grows up. That being said, his favorite foods are still spinach and hummus, which makes me pretty happy.
I guess if veganism was a fad diet I wouldn’t worry about what anyone else ate. I am a vegan not because I want to be healthy but because I want the whole planet to be healthy. The production of meat and dairy is killing this home of ours and the number of people who are developing sicknesses because they eat these items is causing immense stress on the medical system and people are not making the connection between what they eat and how they feel. Dairy is so hard to give up because it is addictive. I has a drug like affect on baby animals so they will sleep and stay close. Look at your baby. Baby cows too and you get all that opiod type drug when you use dairy creating a very strong addiction. We think it is because it tastes so good…..we are stuck on it which makes the dairy producers very happy. It takes courage to stand up for ones beliefs. I would never feed my children anything I wouldn’t eat, no matter what Nana or NooNoo eat. When the child is old enought to make an educated decision (12 -13) set them free to choose. Babies and toddlers cannot make those choices.
You radiate love in your posts for her :) You’re such a wonderful mother that I actually get teary-eyed on these posts. <3
Thank you for the wonderful post! My husband is a meat eater but has taken a similar path as yours. I have two daughters and I have never told them they couldn’t eat meat. I have never forced them to eat meat or not or let anyone else force them to either. Recently my 7 yr old who never liked beef or pork decided to become vegetarian! I was thrilled and my husband is supporting it because he knows I will help her eat healthy. It has been a struggle though because she has food intolerances that include Gluten and Soy. She also is a little bit of a picky eater. I am hoping that these food limitations will only be for a few months. I love your recipes! If you have any suggestions on how to work around the Gluten free and soy free diet please let me know!
My husband and I were vegan for 4 years before I became pregnant with my first set of twins. I went vegan for the animals initially but then for the environment and my health. There was no question about our 2 sets of twins, now 10 and 5, being raised vegan. If I cared enough to make the transition from vegetarian to vegan for me, I certainly was going to do it for my children. They are not deprived of any foods or treats, as some of your readers have suggested happens to vegan children and they are loving, compassionate and healthy children.
I also live in a house with family members who eat meat and feel that it is not my right to impose my ideas on them. I find the extremism demonstrated in some of the earlier posts very disconcerting and it makes me want to separate myself from the label of ‘vegan’ if that is what it means. I applaud your decision to allow your daughter to experience different foods and agree with Patti in her assertion that food taboos can cause a host of psychological issues in young children and adolescents.
This is a great site and I absolutely love your cookbook!
Beautifully written as always Angela! The emotive subject of what to feed one’s child can lead to many opinions being expressed rather vociferously as I’ve seen from some of the comments I’ve just read. I pretty much ignored all the current guidelines when it came to weaning and what feed my child. She now eats a varied diet and is always open to trying new food. You seem to have it sorted – trust your instincts and you can’t go wrong.
just wanted to say thanks for writing this. I have a 13 month old son and my husband and I are in the same situation (except he’s the 100% plant based one). It’s interesting to see so many people facing the same decisions. We basically are doing what you plan to. But it’s hard- especially talking to pediatricians who aren’t that familiar with plant based…
I’ve scanned the responses to this post and the doctrinaire tone in some of the posts have given me pause. We are all trying to do better and to encourage each other along. Angela has been open about the decision-making in her family, something that is really none our our business, and has been repaid with some rather vile responses. My family may not make the same decision, or even embark on the same decision-making process, but that would not justify demeaning Angela, as has happened here.
Disagreement is ok. Strong feelings are okay. The expression of a moral cause is okay. Put downs aren’t ok. Lack of respect for the decisions of other people is not ok. They don’t help anything, anyone, any animal.
This is exactly what my husband (carnivore!), and I decided about how we would raise our son.
My kids are being raised vegetarian. Of course I am going to put my beliefs onto them. That’s what parenting is all about. It’s an ethical situation and I want them to learn what I feel is right about what we should eat. They have plenty of years later when they are adults if they don’t agree with it and want to change it. Whether a parent is handing a child a veggie burger or a beef hamburger they are still instilling their values in that food choice.
Your approach is wonderful and very reasonable, I think it is great. I’ve seen families trying to raise their kids one way or another and when the child feels they have no choice in the matter sooner or later they rebel. I believe children should be exposed to the world with and the reasoning behind your choices should be explained to them truthfully.
They are so smart, and the role of a parent is to prepare children for independent lives by giving them all the tools they possibly can to make their own decisions.
I think you are doing a wonderful job.
There will always be people how are haters no matter what you do, but they are so few, and they are idiots. They do not understand that the fact you are helping millions of people change from one to all meals to plant based you saved countless animals and impacted our world greatly. Some people do not understand that you cannot force change, people need to want to change and you show them the way. Incredibly delicious might I add.
So THANK YOU for everything you have done, and please don’t let idiots discourage you in any way, they are a mere tiny little fraction of the masses of fans following you.
I love your blog Angela and I think this was a really great post. It’s good to know your honest with your readers rather than just having a blog persona. I’m really horrified at the judgement from some of these readers. I believe that people are entitled to their own views and beliefs and nobody should be so disrespectful to other human beings.
Angela – I love your approach to feeding your daughter. Whatever works for you and your family is by far the best. I have found that no matter what we do as parents is going to be questioned, I don’t like this at all. My son is 7 months and I’ve learned that someone is always going to have an opinion on how I raise my son – right now it’s we are taking this solids thing too slowly, or that we shouldn’t have started with the food we started with. My husband and I truly believe that we are doing what is best for our son and for us and it works. Do what you want to do and what is best for your daughter, it is always right. You rock and I have always loved your blog, keep on keeping on.
I trully though that being a vegan means primaly to be a compassionate person. And not respecting others opinion really does not seem to be very compassionate tough. Lot of hate in the comments. I Hope that all our love/respect/compassion for animals spread to each other as well.
It seems to me that Angela prepares vegan recipes, in which case, the term “vegan” is describing the type of recipe. A Vegan person may feel fairly confident that her recipes would conform to their dietetic preferences. That is not true of “plant based” or “vegetarian” recipes. She also appears to eat a vegan diet, again, using “vegan” as a descriptor to define her diet as not ingesting any animal products whatsoever.
I may be wrong, but I strongly suspect that Angela has done far more to encourage people to explore a vegan diet (and possibly the Vegan lifestyle) than the vitriol spewing naysayers who have been so remarkably rude in some of the remarks.
Angela, it is none of my business whether or not you raise your child as an omnivore, herbivore, or carnivore. I do appreciate you sharing your decision as it may help other parents who are struggling with similar concerns. Thank you for your wonderful blog and for sharing your amazing recipes.
My husband and I cook mostly plant-based meals. I can go days and days eating no animal products. When people ask for a label we say “situational vegan” and we say it tongue-in-cheek. It means that we cook plant based at home and eat what we’re served as guests. When we have company we cook vegan and then go out to dinner so others can order what they choose. If the goal is to get everyone on the planet to eat a more plant-based diet then is it worth it being dogmatic about labels? Vegan is not like Alcoholics Anonymous.
Curious, is drinking breast milk considered vegan as it’s milk from an animal?
Breast milk is entirely vegan if it’s taken with consent :) no exploitation there!
As a vegan and a teenager who is the recipient of a lot of negative comments about veganism I think we all should take a step back and realize how hard it is to be a vegan in this world. A lot of the responses Angela got for this post were criticizing her about not teaching her daughter compassion for animals. People are animals too. If we can’t be nice to each other, how do we expect anyone to take the decision to not eat animals seriously? Just being a nice person teaches compassion for all living things.
AMEN Rebecca!