Hands down, one of the most asked questions I’ve received since I announced my pregnancy last March is whether we will raise our daughter a vegan. It’s something that Eric and I discussed long before getting pregnant, but we revisited the topic again when I did get pregnant. I’ve been clear in the past that our household is not a vegan household – Eric doesn’t follow a vegan diet, although a lot of his meals are vegan because he loves the food that I make (yup, tooting my own horn! hah). He now enjoys hundreds of foods he wouldn’t even touch when we first started dating and it’s been incredible to see his diet transform over the years from deep fried fast food to vibrant veggie-filled home-cooked meals. From eating a huge bowl of frosted flakes cereal to a huge green smoothie every morning, the change has been huge. So even though he’s become more conscious about selecting organic meat from local farms whenever possible and eschewing a large amount of dairy from his diet, he has no plans of going vegan. I support him completely; after all, he was never vegan before we met and he is happy and healthy which is what matters.
Many people have assumed that we would raise Adriana on a vegan diet, but we’ve actually decided not to label her diet in any shape or form. This is for a couple reasons. First, I want her to be able to try any food that she wants to, including the food her dad and family members eat in front of her. Second, I want her to decide for herself when she is older whether she will attach any sort of label to her diet. I have personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labeling my own diet, and I don’t want to put my beliefs on her or assume that my diet is the best diet for her. That being said, we eat so many plant-based meals in this house I have no doubt that her diet will be filled with vegetables, fruit, legumes, beans, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and healthy fats! We are very grateful for the food we have access to and above all, I’d like to instill this sense of gratitude in her and also an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc. We are incredibly lucky that we even have the privilege of discussing this topic. But would we stop her from enjoying some of her dad’s chicken or a birthday cake at a friend’s party or a home-cooked meal at Mimi’s or Babcia’s house? No we won’t (assuming she doesn’t have an allergy down the road, of course).
I know that deciding what to feed one’s family is a very personal topic, but I want to be open about it as I have with my own dietary changes in the past. Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Vegan households can work really well if that is the goal (and I know many friends who are currently rocking it!), but this is what we’ve decided is right for us.
I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Have you ever struggled with the decision as to whether to label your child’s diet? Do you live in a household with different diets or allergies? How do you find a balance?
PS – Adriana turned 6 months on Saturday! We celebrated by giving her her first solid food – avocado. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. It was seriously awesome. I also re-read her birth story and cried a little. More on this feeding thing later.
xo
Comments are now closed – May 20/15
I agree Angela. I am a vegetarian, but I cook meat (a couple of times during the week) for my family for exactly the same reasons you stated. I want my girls to make up their own minds about eating meat or not. We eat clean and they eat all the fruits, veggies, clean food and homemade breads and meals that we do. I haven’t pushed the issue, but my six year old has started asking questions. We answer her questions and discussed that she doesn’t have to eat meat if that is her choice. We also explained that in place of meat she would have to get her protein from others places. I think it’s good to give them information because I don’t want to force my beliefs about not eating meat on her. Great post!
Please read your own words:
“After learning about the horrors of meat and dairy…how could I, the lifelong animal lover, continue to support a system that brought so much pain and suffering to so many animals each year?” – Angela Liddon, Oh She Glows Cookbook
I am saddened and disappointed. Do you understand how obscene meat is?
“her dad’s chicken”:
Raised in a factory farm, trucked to slaughter without food or water or protection from the elements, likely scalded alive at the processing plant. The workers in the farm and slaughterhouse are likely migrant workers with no rights. Some probably abuse the birds for fun too. You got a minute? Google “MFA investigation”. Their tortured flesh contains dioxins, arsenic and saturated fat. Cook this chicken? Cancer-promoting heterocyclic amines. The air and water around the farm is polluted by manure. Nitrate and pesticide-drenched cornfields are killing the Gulf of Mexico. But hey. What climate change? What food crisis? What water shortages?
Typing this was a waste of my time. Like reading the feel-good drivel in your cookbook.
Alex, it wasn’t a waste of your time. I’m glad you shared this. There is such a disconnect, thinking it’s okay to let your child eat animal foods when you profess how much you “love” animals and how you hate to see them suffer.
I hope people follow up with your google suggestions. Then maybe they won’t be so gung ho about applauding the message in this blog.
Angela, in case you needed the reminder, YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
Supporting you 100%!
xoxo
Karly
I grew up in a “basic american diet” household and wanted to be a vegetarian as a teenager for moral reasons. I did not eat a great diet though and needed to eat meat to get nutrients that a fast food vegetarian diet was not giving me. I am 47 now and chose to be vegan about four years ago. I have three children, all of whom have decided to be vegetarian on their own. My husband is eatig more veggies and way less meat than he would otherwise. And one of my daughters has gone back to meat. All in all, our home eats way less meat than usual homes, but i let the kids do their own thing and they al have really healthy diets overall. I think food is one thing that should not be forced on a kid. There are sacred
boundaries and the mouth is one of them. It is their choice. I applaud your decision.
What an interesting, honest blog. Honesty is the best policy, you’re right. And all families are different! My other half ate meat a few times a week when I met him, but soon stopped when we were really “going out” together. He’s basically vegetarian now, although since I only cook vegan food, his diet is largely vegan.
I found it difficult at first to accept that he would bring non-vegan foods into my house, but he is who he is, and I either accept it or we split up. I can accept this small concession as it happens less frequently, whereas I know I couldn’t even have gone out with him if he ate meat products.
We all draw our own lines in the sand, and either choose to label ourselves or not – it’s time we all learned to respect each other’s choices – who the heck is perfect????
Good luck with your daughter – it’s the most magical time of your life – enjoy it to the full.
Angela, I think your decision to allow your daughter to come to her own conclusions regarding diet as she grows up is SPOT ON. I am the only vegan in my house and that is my choice. My husband and teens will try some of my meals and many time enjoy them with me. My personal feeling is that every plant based meal a person eats makes a difference. It affects the animals and the planet. I will never force my diet or my beliefs on another person. My family knows how I feel and they respect it. And I find with my two teens that the less I “preach”, the more they tend to be more open to trying plant based meals. No one is perfect. No one. Especially me. I think the decision you and Eric have made regarding Adriana’s diet is yours to make as a family. You are a vegan and a very kind one at that. One that does not push veganism and equate that with perfection. You are not the stereotype of a militant vegan, and that is what draws people to you. You want people to succeed at living a plant based diet and that includes making mistakes. Being human. I applaud you for your loving, kind and honest approach,
I just wanted to say thank you so much for your honesty on this subject! It’s something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately! I have a 10 month old son who I’ve so far fed a vegetarian diet. I am constantly asked by friends and family if he will be a vegetarian and I’m never sure how to answer. I love the concept of not labeling his diet, or my own diet for that matter (I eat a vegetarian, mostly plant based diet).
Keep up the good work. I absolutely love your blog and cookbook! You are such an inspiration!
I read your Food for Thought post and it made me so sad to learn that people have been giving you a hard time about this decision. I am vegetarian but eat probably a 75%-80% vegan diet. My husband is pescetarian. I don’t like that he eats seafood, but he’s his own person and although I’ve tried to explain gently why I disagree with his choice, it’s his choice. We have one child who is now almost 4 years old. I really wanted to raise him vegetarian but my husband wants to let him have fish every now and then. There are two parents and neither one of us makes all the rules, so I do allow it from time to time but I always tell my son, pretty bluntly now, that the fish he is eating used to be alive and swam in the ocean (or wherever) and I personally don’t want to eat fish because I want to be able to see them in the ocean, alive, instead. He has asked to eat meat several times and I always tell him that when he is old enough to drive he can eat meat if he wants to. (I became vegetarian when I was 15 years old and have been for 20 years now). I’m not saying what I am doing is right or wrong, but this is what works for us in our house, and I feel like my husband and I are supportive of each other and teaching my son extremely good eating habits. I make a lot of food from your blog and everyone in the house loves it.
Anyway, thanks for being who you are and for sharing yourself with us. There will always be haters and they just suck.
Hi Angela! I’m so sorry to hear that so many people are being so critical of your decision and that it hurts so much. I want you to know that I support you 100%. I do not have any children but I can tell you at least this – my husband is like yours, he is not vegan, nor vegetarian; however, in our house he does not eat meat at all and enjoys my vegetable-based recipes immensely. He has even created a few of his own! When we are at social gatherings with friends or family, he sometimes indulges in something meat-related and very unhealthy. I look at it this way (similar to you): he was not even remotely vege when I met him; he ate all kinds of horrible junk; so the fact that he eats the way he does now is tremendous. I am a firm believer that “every little bit counts.” I am not an “all or nothing” person because I think that kind of attitude is often destined to fail. Every vegan option chosen, every healthy option chosen, is helping to chip away at the problems associated with animal agriculture. If you are doing “something,” then you are helping and every little bit counts for yourself AND for the animals. Not to mention that as humans we have free will and to try and impose “restrictions” on each other is truly counterproductive to the overall cause. I love your recipes and receiving your emails, I purchased your cookbook immediately when it came out and love it. I am truly sorry to hear that you will remove your “personal label” from your emails and blogs. However, I for one will still look forward to hearing anything you have to say <3 Keep up the great work my friend and don't let the "haters" bring you down! xoxo
I honestly don’t see what the big deal is. Why don’t people ask ‘will you raise your child carnivore’? Why do people have to be so concerned about what you’re eating?
Hi Angela. I am happy you found what works for you and your family. That is very important and it can be difficult at times dealing with individuals who don’t agree. I am a doctor who uses a whole foods plant based diet every day with patients. I am also a mom and wife. So my objectives are different so I have changed the whole family to a whole foods plant based diet because one I feel it is healthier and two I need to be a leader by example for patients. However I don’t use the word vegan to describe myself very often because of the connotations that come with the label. I just wanted to applaud you for your decision! Keep up the good work and I will continue to send people to your website.
After reading today’s email about the flack that many have given you regarding your decision, I’d like to say: May God bless you for what you are doing. You are an inspiration to so many. May He bless your family and the decisions you make. I’m very impressed by the decision not to label your daughter. Way to go.
“If we make going veg an all or nothing thing, than many people that might have made a reduction [in animal consumption] will be completely turned off to the idea, because they will think that being compassionate to animals is difficult.”
THIS COMMENT. This is a very important statement. Furthering veganism as a movement requires this kind of tolerance. The truth is, most people are very resistant to change their eating habits and are afraid of what they don’t know/understand. I have talked to so many people (co-workers over lunch, for example, when they ask about my vegan goodies), who say “I could NEVER give up X, Y, Z food”. What we need to emphasize is that making positive changes doesn’t have to be an all or nothing thing.
Meatless Monday is a great example. What if every single person in North America celebrated Meatless Monday? How many of those people might say, “Hey, maybe I can do this two or three days per week…” Simply a REDUCTION in animal product consumption would benefit SO MANY people (especially in the USA where preventable disease is an epidemic), not to mention the environmental impact that reduction would have.
People need to be realistic. Rome wasn’t built in a day, to be cliche, and a major change in animal consumption won’t happen overnight either.
Ang, I think you are doing great and you’re one of my biggest role models when it comes to plant-based eating. Your daughter is so lucky to have you as her mama :-)
God created everything and in this he created man to have free will and choices. Please be respectful, loving, kind, non harming either intentionally or non intentionally. Look inwardly at self and ask yourself the above, everyone is individual and we all have a purpose. He said above all, LOVE one another. If we create unkind words or do not listen to others opinions, then are we really focusing what we believe in. In Jesus name, Amen.
I am expecting in a few weeks and I have decided to raise my daughter on a vegan diet. I have no problem with the vegan label – I think movements and social changes need labels. Unlike you, I live in a vegan household – my husband is also vegan and we are very mindful that we don’t bring in non-vegan products to our home and people who visit do the same thing. We don’t impose, but they know that we are vegan and I find most people are very mindful and respectful of our decision to have a vegan household and raise our daughter vegan. The reason why I will raise her vegan is because I truly believe that it is the best diet out there (if done right). And as a baby, toddler, child, she isn’t ready to decide on what food is right for her yet and I don’t think we should allow kids to choose what they want to eat. Looking at my neice and nephew, they would choose soda and candy every meal if they are allowed to choose. As a parent, it is my responsiblity to share with my daughter what I think is best for her and one of the major decisions is what food she eats. I think it will be fine for her to choose once she is an adult, but as a young child, it is my responsiblility to make sure she eats right. I think we need to get away from the mindset that eating vegan is somehow a fringe choice or abnormal. Instead, I see it as the way that we should eat – the normal choice. Somehow along the way, we left the normal path and ended up eating factory farmed meat and dairy, which to me, is anything but normal.
I do agree that calling someone like you as not “vegan-enough” is probably wrong. I don’t think you should care what those people say, but I agree it is hard to read or hear sometimes. At the end of the day, people like you inspire more people to be vegan than the “militant” vegans. I live a very normal life – my husband and I have corporate jobs, we are not hippie-dippie and don’t fit into the stereotypical vegan image (whatever that is), but I think living the life we live actually makes vegan mainstream and show others that they can be vegan and not be considered “weird”, whereas the “militant” vegans actually holds the movement back and make it seem unappealing to most people – all they do is alienate others. Don’t let them bother you, because being a mainstream vegan is probably the best thing for the movement. At the end of the day, we can only inspire other people to be vegan only by living a life that they want as well, not a life that seem restrictive and unappealing.
I completely support the approach of your family defining what is a healthy diet. 100% Vegan or 75% vegan the point is you and your family make conscious decisions about food, the environment and overall wellness. It’s disappointing that individuals are using this as a means to attack you and your decisions. I imagine that’s very hurtful. I love following your work from Alaska! Have a blessed SPRING!
Jamie
Not all, but many vegans arrive at their lifestyle decision based on what they believe is morally and ethically right for all sentient beings across the board. While many, but not all, quasi-vegans adopt their dietary habits based on slightly more self-centered reasons. This is, I believe, the main reason why people debate this subject to the point of discussion melt-down. The former camp views their choice as a critical addressment for the gross violence we collectively allow to be perpetrated upon many other species every single day, while the latter sees it as a matter of personal health and preference, which is interpreted by the vegan camp as completely selfish and environmentally careless.
While I do side with the vegans in terms of lifestyle choice, I can see how the militant approach wins over no one because, clearly no one likes to be told what to do. I personally have had to put up with the imposition of all non-vegan-degrees who can’t believe that my unyielding choices are not meant to be a “passive-aggressive” affront to the commonly shared mainstream dietary choices, despite the fact that I have ALways conscientiously refrained from even suggesting that anyone choose different.
Anyway, I guess my point is this: all people (vegan and non-vegan alike) need to stop trying to change other people. It’ll never happen. Realize that not only is everyone at a different place in their evolution, everyone’s pace is different as well. Also, love beats out faultfinding every time. And finally, if you find yourself looking out at the world and seeing someone you believe is wrong, wrong, wrong, and in need of change, change, change, I assure you you are likely projecting! Attend to yourself and the world around you will fall into place.
Geez, it seems like we are cut form the same cloth: my husband is definitely not vegan, but gladly eats my food and has overall changed his eating patterns for the better. My 4 year old daughter is not plant based. We have decided to expose her to many different foods and ideas, with the hopes that she will decide what is best for her when she is older. She knows that ‘Daddy eats animals, Mommy doesn’t’. That being said, we have decided to model good eating habits and good decision making. While our daughter has yet to have juice and has only eaten McDonald’s 1x, she still gets her share of sugar and treats (daily). I have felt sort of bad/ashamed, because every other plant based/vegan blog that I have read was very specific on raising children in the same manner. While I would get down on myself from time to time about not starting her as plant based (if I didn’t give animal products to her, she wouldn’t have gotten them!), I have tried to think about what I am doing for her int he long run. Seeing your blog post has made me SO HAPPY. It has helped to validate what our family is doing. I have always liked your blog posts and cookbooks, but I do so now even more!!! Congratulations for standing up for your own beliefs – for doing not what was easier, but what was right, for you and your family :)
As with ANYTHING in parenting, you do what feels right in your heart. I have 2 boys (17 & 8 yr old) and I have the same perspective on the diet. While I feel good that they eat a variety of helathy plant-based foods at home (because that’s all I cook), they still have the freedom to choose what they eat. My hubs is not vegan either. It’s unfortunate that the diet labeling & critism has gotten out of hand on the interwebs! I’ve started just simply referring to my diet as a freedom diet, because I feel free when I eat this way. — As I have an older son now, I can tell you, that raising them with both the choice & the exposure to helathy food has a positive impact on them! He requests my vegan dishes & even makes some of them himself.
I am not vegan, but I really enjoy vegan food. I LOVE vegetables. Dairy and wheat don’t make my body very happy, but thank goodness for alternatives! I like to have a grass-fed, organic beef burger every now and then, and I live in a place that nurtures my appreciation for seafood. My diet is balanced and I am healthy. Key words: balanced and healthy. For me. Everyone else is doing what they need to do for themselves, and I think that is amazing. (Except when there is judgment.)
Angela: Your blog (and now cookbook!) has been very inspirational for me and has helped me enjoy cooking (which I used to dislike) and love, even more so than I already do, baking. I have learned so much since I found your blog in 2010! You and Eric have made a decision for your daughter that I respect and admire because she will be able to make her own decision when she is older. And it will be one made with your support. Keep believing in what you are doing!