If there’s one thing that unites us all, it’s that we all suffer. We all triumph. We face obstacles in our lives and encounter things that throw us off our course and challenge our inner strength. That’s life, with the lesson often seen in retrospect. Without the difficult times, there would be no great times. Everything would just seem flat and uneventful, plain and boring.
There would be no impactful change without struggle. The beauty of life is overcoming what we think we cannot. Our self-esteem grows and we find strength in ourselves that we never knew existed.
This very point had me thinking about various struggles that I’ve been through in my life. I remember focusing mostly on the negative aspects of the situation. How badly I felt, how crappy the situation was, and how much I didn’t think things would ever change. Blah, blah, blah. It’s a vicious cycle.
But what if we focus on how our struggles change us and our lives for the better?
Would it be possible to improve negative situations, if we thought about how we might benefit from them?
When I was unhappy with my research career, all I could think about was how much I screwed up my life. I went to university for 7 years training as a researcher only to discover that I basically loathed it. So many days I would curse myself for making such a huge mistake in my life and going down the wrong path.
My negative thoughts were so powerful, I almost convinced myself that it was better to just live the rest of my life unfulfilled than face the alternative (change). I told myself that I could do what I wanted when I retired. I was 25 years old at the time!
That’s when I realized that I could rot in my own negativity or I could see things in a different light. Instead of cursing myself and “mistakes” (I’d rather call them “learning experiences”), I searched for lessons and meaning.
What was my unhappiness trying to tell me?
How was this discomfort nudging me to make a change in my life?
Without taking the wrong career path, I wouldn’t have found the happiness I have with my career today. I started this blog as a hobby while I worked as a researcher. It was something I could work on during my own free time and it brought me so much happiness that I spent most of my free time working on it. What started as a distraction from my real life became the thing that gave me life.
Little did I know, this hobby would not only serve as the catalyst for eventually leaving my unfulfilling career and starting my own business, but it would also lead me to discover my real passions in life.
Most surprisingly of all, I now see struggles in a new light. Instead of cursing an uncomfortable time, I see it as a message to change. Whether I listen or not is up to me.
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Previous Daily Glow posts: What is Daily Glow?, Graduation Fears, The Silly Things We Say, Do What You Can…Today, What’s Your 6-Word Love Story?, Without Self-Love, I Have Nothing., Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain, Kicking the Pop Habit: Eric 1 Year Later, Weekend Inspiration
It’s so true that change needs a catalyst. More often than not that catalyst is something negative forcing us to react. It’s difficult to see in the face of negativity that a new door is opening, but it always does. We have to listen to our intuition and demand more for ourselves. It’s never too late. Great post!
Such a beautiful message– I understand being there and feeling like I’ve gone down the wrong path. I realized during my senior year of college that the path I’d chosen wasn’t necessarily the path I ever wanted to pursue, and I felt ashamed. But about a year ago today, I made a leap to quit my job, and work from home doing something I’ve completely fallen in love with. It allows me to focus on what I love most.
This was very uplifting to read- it seems so easy to focus on the negative, and so hard to think about the positive. But even though it’s hard work, it will pay off!
Have a great day!
It’s so true. Sometimes we just need something to push us in the right direction. What a great post – and so motivational that we, too, can do what will make us happy!
You have no idea how perfectly timed this post was, Angela. I’ve been struggling with a less-than-ideal situation myself and it’s been so much focus on the negative that I’ve forgotten how to appreciate the good things about my situation. That has led to so much stress and I’ve found myself growing more and more uptight, almost to the point where its wrecking my relationships. It’s really ugly, and I know that I HAVE to change it – NOW. I’ll take a good look at what my unhappiness is trying to tell me. Hopefully that will help me smooth things over and correct the issues that are causing me all of this stress. Thank you again for your always-inspirational posts!
So beautifully written. I’m graduating college soon and struggling with the typical worries that plague people having to actually enter the real world. I’m lucky in that I’m going to grad school–so at least I have some sort of plan, but it’s still nerve wracking. This is exactly what I needed to read this morning! Thank you for sharing!
It’s all about listening, that’s so true! I just wrote a post over the weekend about living a fullfilled life and doing what is best for us, regardless of the fear of change.
This came from a decision I’d made recently – booking a 3 week trip to India… by myself. This is not something I would have ever ever thought of doing even a year ago, but I listened, and this is what came up. So regardless of how scared I was, I pushed forward.
Good timing! My boss and I just decided yesterday that we are only going to frame things in a positive light from now on. Too much negativity males the days longer and it is certainly contagious!
I’m in that moment of negativity right now with my job. A job that started out being something I loved, due to business changes and growth, is turning into something I dislike immensely.
I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching about what the next steps should be. I know a move is in order – thinking San Francisco or elsewhere on the west coast – and a change of career is looming large. But the big question is “what do I do instead of what I’m doing now?”
I’ve been lucky throughout my life; when faced with insurmountable changes, things eventually work out for the better and I’m a stronger person for the struggle.
Great post, Ange!
Thank you so so much for this post. I’ve recently hit a rough patch in my life and I’ve been feeling very pessimistic. This is just what I needed to get me thru the day. Thanks again so much!
This is so beautiful, Angela. And just the right time, too. I’m facing similar thoughts so often about how I SCREWED UP and chose the wrong path… I’m so unhappy with my current job… but I want to change. I’m trying to remember the old adage that “everything happens for a reason” and that I am meant to be where I am today, in order to lead me to where I’ll eventually be. This afternoon, I’m speaking with an admissions rep to get enrolled to go back to school and be certified as a health coach. I spend so much of my time (enjoying!) focusing on my health and wanting to help others, this finally seems like the right path. But it’s a scary leap into the unknown. Seeing other young 20-somethings out there like yourself really inspires me to believe I CAN run my own business and be happy. I don’t need to settle.
Thank you!
What a wonderful post and I agree with you. The exact same thought-process is how I came to be exactly where I am now. I had a job I was very unhappy with before I decided I wanted to work for myself, I actually look back at that miserable job with so much fondness now that I have moved on to much bigger and better things. It was an incredible stepping stone that has allowed me to see what I do and don’t want for my life, both professionally and personally. I try to look at every experience that way now. It is inevitable that we sometimes are faced with unfavorable situations and sometimes that negativity can creep back into our lives without us even seeing it. It is how we handle ourselves in those situations that really shapes us and allows us to not only move on, but to grow.
This post couldn’t come at a better time. It is such a great reminder for me. Personally right now I am trying to find the positive in severely injuring my back over 2 weeks ago. Beyond the pain, it has caused me to have to take a break from my daily yoga practice and it has definitely affected my mood. Last week I decided that I have to look at it as a blessing that it happened now and that I will be able to not only heal and bounce back, but I will also learn what I can do in my yoga practice to strengthen my back (and my entire body really) to ensure it doesn’t happen again. I now realize I am lucky that it is happening now when I am still young, so I can hopefully keep it from happening again when I am older and unable to bounce back.
One of the lessons I picked up along the way when I was going through some mah-jah infertility/loss struggles was that if we’re still going through the hard time, chances are we still have a lesson to learn. That gave me a great new perspective, even if the situation hadn’t changed. It at least gave some purpose to the suffering and that’s exactly what you’ve identified. You are well on your way to positive :)
Thank u very much for these words. I’m trying to go on after being told by my boyfriend, that he doesn’t know if he wants to continue our relationship.
We’re going to give it a try, but I’m sooooooo scared!
You are so inspirational to so many for literally chasing your dreams AND catching them. I definitely feel the desire to persue my true passions and am currently dabbling in the details. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Wonderfully written. I’m in a rut right now too, also in research, wondering where I should go in my life. But thank you for sharing your experience, as I think I’ll keep writing, seeing where that takes me, and if I truly can’t see myself at my job next year, I may also take the leap in doing something new. I’m off to a later start than you (30, gah!) but I hope that with time, what I love will preservere and I can become one of the (what seems like the) few that can make this into something ‘real.’ Thanks for always being so refreshingly honest in your posts!
Unhappiness is the strongest motivation for change that I know – if I’m not happy I immediately think ‘what can I do to be happy again’ ?
Great post Angela. I feel much the same way as you – I spent many years working as a hair stylist, and when I got bored of that, I became a holistic nutritionist. Within a few months I realized it was not the career for me, and I felt terrible about it. Why did I leave hair for something I don’t even like doing and can’t seem to get paid for?? I wallowed in self pity for a while, unsure of what to do next and scared to make a change for fear I would fail (as I felt I did with nutrition). Then one day I began sewing again just for fun, and it took off from there. I now know that if I’d never become a nutritionist, I would not have tweal or be where I am today. I couldn’t connect the dots as they were coming to me, but looking back, I definitely see them.
Life sure does work in mysterious ways, doesn’t it?? :)
Great post!
I love reading your insights on topics like this. You are a true inspiration! Keep up the great work.
I needed to hear this today <3
This is wonderful. My husband says the same thing to me a lot and often wonders why I choose to be stressed out when I don’t have to be. I don’t know why but I’m working on it! I love these posts just as much as your recipes.