On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
I’m still in high school and of course looking at colleges and trying to figure out what major to go into, but I keep having doubts and worries. Right now I’m thinking about studying nutrition so I can become a Registered Dietitian, but I keep feeling like I’m turning my back on my passion of the arts. I’ve always been talented in drawing, painting, etc., but I keep feeling the pressure of my parents, who did not go to college, to pursue a career path that is “more stable”. Don’t get me wrong, I am almost equally passionate about nutrition and helping others be the best they can be, but I don’t want to lose touch with a very important part of who I am. I guess that’s what minor studies are for, huh? :)
This post is exactly what I needed today…thank you!
I’m six months pregnant right now (a surprise! but a good one) and this has definitely made me take a hard look at my priorities and how I’m going to shift them. Right now I work full-time and teach dance part-time, and while I’m very passionate about both, I feel like I have zero me-time. You know, time to take a relaxing yoga class, time for a long bath, time to spend a day cooking…time to just read! I’m hoping our little surprise will allow me to rediscover some of these simple things.
As many of those comments above, I admire your strength and gumption to get what you want out of life. This blog is such a breath of fresh air! I began reading when I was unhappy with my status quo and needed a change. After graduating from college I began a rewarding, yet very demanding career path, while in the process of figuring things out I enjoyed reading your healthy tips and tricks and how to ‘veganize’ any recipe. I’ve made a few recipes and referred to this blog countless times – at one point I thought you should hire me for all my advertising! Happy Birthday… and thank you for doing what you love!
Angela you are truly a beautiful person inside and out. It has and is still a journey for me to self love. I have to say I am proud of how far I have come though (battled anorexia and WON), I honestly feel I fear no food. The journey of becoming confident in my skin is still a work in progress, but I have already come so far and am going continue to push forward. I am an 18 year old girl ready to love myself and hope some day soon have some special gentleman love me too. :)
Thankyou so much!
Despite having no premedical background in college, after years out of college I went back to school to get my premedical requirements, apply to medical school, and I am now happily in my first year. I knew becoming a doctor would be a long journey, but I am so thankful I began the process and finally am chasing my dream!
The last 2 years of my life have also been a journey! 2 years ago I quit my job to become a stay at home mommy! My passions are family and food and being at home has allowed me great quality time to nourish both those passions! Not everything has been easy over that time. We’ve experienced the miscarriage of our second child, after which I realized that even though it was not my fault I was not taking care of my body properly. I had been overweight since before my son was born and had none of the energy I desired to be an active mom. So I finally decided to do something about it. We changed our lifestyle to good wholesome food (I loved to cook/bake anyway!) and I started to find out that exercise could be fun. I simply started out walking everyday with my son. It was good exercise for me and I made it educational for him (discussing all the things we saw on our walk). We are also a family that LOVES being out in nature, so we started taking walks at our local nature preserves! Before I knew it I was loving life and myself again. :) I lost over 80 lbs and am the fittest and healthiest I have ever been. My husband has been an amazing support, never questioning my “healthy” food. He is the kind of guy that will eat anything as long as it doesn’t eat him first! HA!
So happy birthday OSG! I discovered your blog just a month or so ago and have been hooked ever since. Thanks so much!!
My journey has been over 10 years long, and I hope someday it will come to an end. I have been caught in disordered eating so long I hardly know what ordered eating is. Reading blogs like yours, Angela, shows me that balance is possible, that self-acceptance is possible. Thank you for that, for your inspiration and example to me and to the many others that are on a similar journey. Happy Birthday, OSG, and many, many more!
your blog has helped me gain a better perspective about my life, health, and body. i’m forever appreciative!
Hi Angela,
Congratulations on the anniversary! I love your blog! It is very inspiring.
It is because of blogs like yours that I have become conscious of what I eat, conscious of the importance of honoring my body and not putting any trash or junk in it :-) Thanks for doing all that you do and sharing it with us!
First, I LOVE your blog! You are such an inspiration!! I guess I have finally learned just to accept myself where I am. I am changing and will continue to work towrds a healthy life, but for right now I need to accept who I am at this moment.
And I would LOVE to try your Glo Bars :)
In the past year or two God has really taught me to have confidence in myself and security in him… to walk in grace and know my own strengths and value. He’s taught me to speak truth and to turn away from the lies, and to claim my own beauty and worth!
Happy 2nd blogiversary! :) I’m starting a journey to be a conscious consumer and quiet advocate for farmed animals. As a person who was always a huge animal lover, your blog has truly shed some light on how my (eating) actions affect animals. I was surprised to find that I was living in oblivion!
Also, I want to say that I love the sincere, gracious and happy tone of your blog. My boyfriend has seen my changes and since I’m influenced by the tone of your blog, I truly think your blog is actually unconsciously influencing him through me! And I mean that in a good way. Anyway, thank you!
One thing I am very proud of is summoning up the courage to move to Europe. It changes my life. I am so much stronger and more capable than I ever believed I was and I would have never learned that about myself if I hadn’t of taken that step. My life is so much fuller and richer because of it. I’m home now, but the experience was amazing.
Angela, I don’t think you can ever know just how inspirational you have been to me. I really have hope for the future now, that I can move past my current situation and be truly happy with myself and my career. Congrats on your blogiversary and here’s to the next two years!
I love your blog! :) I am growing to love myself. It is a slow process, but a great one. I am become healthier and happier day by day!
Your posts are simply the best…so motivational, so positive and so real. I really do love the self-love you promote and have learned to embrace every aspect of me…what I can do, what I can achieve and how happy I can be. Thank you!
Happy Anniversary! I enjoy your blog SO much… your recipes are unique and you have such a way with words. I currently live in an apartment with a small kitchen, but I still manage to try my hand at some of your recipes. I enjoy sports (tennis!), cooking/trying restaurants, traveling, and my family (the most important thing of all!)
Good luck with everything!
I absolutely love your blog! So congrats on 2 years! As for me. I’ve been on this journey of finding the healthiest me for about 9 years now, and finally achieved my goal this year of getting to my ideal weight. WOOHOO! It’s a good feeling. Everyone always asks me what my secret is, and if I’m constantly on a diet only eating salads, but I’m pretty passionate on trying to get people to see food is not the enemy and it can be good for you and taste awesome! So thanks for sharing all of your recipes. I’ve never made one I didn’t like.
I am super-goal oriented. I think it gives life purpose. Although, I can push myself to hard to reach that goal. It is about the journey, not the destination!
Congrats on 2 years of blogging, Angela. I love your blog – great recipes and great inspiration.
I am definitely continuing to grow and find who it is I want to be. I think personal growth is a constant and I am learning to enjoy the changes that life brings about and also to truly treasure those who come into my life. I love trying new things. I’m working to give up control and trying to just enjoy life as it comes.