On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Congrats on your anniversary Angela, you’ve come a long way!
Three days ago my husband and I went to our first ultrasound appointment to see our baby (second baby). In waiting anxiously to see our little bean flailing about, we found out the he or she had died. My body still thinks I’m pregnant and until I can get a D&C, our little bean is still living in the comfort of my womb.
It has been a heart wrenching, devastating pain for us both. It’s a pain I never expected I would feel from this experience so it’s rocked my world.
I have been through a lot in my life and this is another thing to add to my list. Over the years and the challenges I have faced, I have come to learn that everything we go through in life provides us the opportunity to learn, grow and become stronger. We have a conscious decision to become a better person no matter how hurting we are.
That is my decision. This baby’s life was not in vain. Our bean has reminded me to live my life surrounded by my passions and to seek out new experiences to avoid being in a rut. I am going to start hot yoga, sign up for a yoga retreat and really get back to the core of who I am. I am going to plan a big fundraiser for next year and hope to work toward becoming a counsellor. I will write more, and maybe start my book. He or she has renewed my passion for life, and I am so grateful for such a powerful lesson from someone I will never get the chance to meet.
I have also struggled with self love for a long time. I’m currently training for my first marathon on Sunday and something I’ve come to love about myself through this process has been my spirit. I am training on my own, so there is no one but me to answer to when my alarm goes off early Sunday mornings for my long runs. But I keep getting out of bed because something inside me is stronger and more courageous than I knew.
Love your recipes and enthusiasm for life. I am a 3 year cancer survivor passionate about nourishing my body and ejoying delicious nutritious food.
Happy Anniversary!
I stumbled upon OSG a few months ago through a link from another website and have been in love ever since. :) I love to run, and love to bake, and look forward to your posts :) I particularly loved your France recap, as we are planning a trip there next year, and as a non-meat-eater I’ve been a little bit worried and you’ve allayed those fears :)
Thanks for all that you do!
I have seen these cake mason-jar recipes on SO many other blogs, they’re great!
The older I get, the more I’ve learned what’s really important, and to just be who I am and not worry so much about what other people think. I’ve learned that no matter how good it looks like someone else has it, they have their own problems that are much worse than you’d think. I’m still trying to learn how to live in the moment, but I’m working on it. Looking at someone using your heart is most important, and then you can truly see them for the person they are and find someone to relate or help.
Thanks for having such a wonderful blog – you are an inspiration to so many!
Happy 2nd Anniversary to OSG (and Angela)!
OSG was one of the first healthy living blogs I ever read and it continues to be one of my favourite places to turn for inspiration. It’s so incredible to see someone overcome negative self-image and emerge as a positive example of living a fulfilling life!
One of the things I am most passionate about is running. I’ve been calling myself a runner since my very first race when I was 9 years old (a 2.6 km ‘fun run’). It is an integral part of my identity. No matter what has been going on in my life I know I can always strap on my runners and feel strong and proud of myself for all that I am capable of.
Lately, I haven’t been running too much. I’m recovering from an injury that will keep me out of my runners for at least 8 weeks. At first I was so angry that a piece of me was being taken away, but I’ve come to understand that this recovery is such a small part of my life. I am still a runner. I am still strong. Not running for 8 weeks does not change who I am.
I look forward to many more inspiring, silly and creative OSG posts in the future!
I am getting better at learning that I cannot please everyone, and the person I need to focus on pleasing the most is myself.
You are such an inspiration Angela! Your blog is incredible. I love reading it daily. I’m telling you, if you brought your business to San Diego you would make a FORTUNE!
My passion is teaching. I couldn’t imagine doing anything else. This is my 3rd year teaching and to this day I truly forget I get paid each month (unless it was just an awful day, then I’m human and I do remember!) My students never cease to amazing me and always find a way to make me laugh. Can you guess who 2nd graders spell pennies? It’s might be a part of the male anatomy. At least they pronounce it as pennies when they read it aloud :)
ahh I meant it* not it’s!
Congratulations!
I have a passion for being happy. I’ve learned that life is much more fulfilling if I can find a bit (or a lot) of joy in each day. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it!
The best thing about my becoming-healthy-journey has been switching to a vegan diet and lifestyle. I have learned so much about in the past year about nutrition and fitness, and the past four months of eating vegan have been the most exciting. My world has opened up to so many new foods I’d shunned (or had never heard of) before. I definitely owe OSG a huge thank you for playing a part in my journey. Thanks Angela!
Congratulations on 2 years!
I’ve been on a very long healthy eating journey and I feel like the biggest thing I’ve had to learn over and over is that I need to take care of myself even when I’m not happy. I’ll be healthy and happy for months and months and then something bad will happen and I’ll lose all perspective and stop taking care of myself. That’s one reason I started my blog is I wanted to have some sort of motivation and reminder to do things for me, even when times are tough!
I am learning to love my body because not only am I finally treating it well, but I appreciate it for more than how it looks! I am healthy, and it supports my needs :).
Hello Angela!
I’m was super happy to meet you this past summer at the Harbourside Organic Farmers’ Market. Even though I’ve only been following your blog for a couple of months, I thank you for giving me inspiration for healthier ways of living and eating. The positivity on your blog just radiates. You are brave for letting everything out through your writing, which many people just cannot do since it’s so much easier to keep things inside.
Keep on glowin’ Angela :) and keep up the great work!
Congrats on 2 very successful years!
I’m currently living out my life long dream of becoming a veterinarian. Vet school is definitely a challenge but I try to remember that the hard work will pay off in the end when I go to a job I love everyday. Your blog serves as a great study break and a lot of inspiration in the kitchen! Thanks :)
Happy 2nd birthday! I love your blog.
I have learned to be happy with myself and where I am in life. I no longer compare myself to others and its great.
I love your blog! Great stories, great writing and great pictures of food! I’m going to try to make the cake in a jar. :)
My dream of becoming a medical doctor has happened (just graduated June 2010). :) I’m so blessed with the support of my loved-ones. However, the next bigger dream is to get a residency training. I did not get one this year unfortunately. :( It was one of the lowest point of my life. But what can you do…just like Winston Churchill said “if you’re going through hell, keep on going…” I now have a year off, I’m back home in California with my family (I was away for 5 years for med and grad school, I have both M.P.H/M.D). I am now having the best time with my family. I’m utilizing this year to “recollect and refresh” myself. My sister just gave birth in September which I was able to witness! I would not have been able to had I been in training already. I used to miss birthdays, christenings, Thanksgiving, BUT NOT THIS YEAR. I have not looked back…everything happens for a reason. Residency training can wait, but quality time with my family cannot. :)
Cheers! Many Blessings!
Congrats on the two year blogaversary! I am one of the new blog readers, well new in a sense cause I only started reading a couple of months ago. I love reading your post because its always filled with delicious recipes and personality. Thanks for sharing with us.
One thing I have learned on my journey is to give myself more credit. In the last 2-3 years, I lost about 120 pounds but I’m always so hard on myself. Sometimes I just have to tell myself to breath and that everything will be okay and make myself realize what major changes I have had. And to top it off, I did it be changing my eating habits and incorporating exercise but sometimes its hard to realize how much change I went through. Now my journey is to one day, hopefully, love myself for who I am.
congrats on two year, sweet ang!
your blog has really helped
me venture out of my
“normal”/boring foods
and learn how to try different
things and really learn to
let GO! i have learned that
letting GO of control of numbers, etc. is
really GAINING control of
LIFE and hAPPINESS!
thanks for all you do to
help us all glow a little more…
you rock.