On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Congratulations Angela! Thank you for your dedication to your blog. I look forward to reading it every day! You truly are an inspriation.
Congratulations Angela!
I have thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog over the last couple of years, witnessing your culinary successes and seeing how amazingly you’ve managed to turn life around for both yourself and Eric!
Living in the UK probably makes my ineligable for your giveaway but I’d like to share my story with you regardless, so I hope you don’t mind:
I was diagnosed with Anorexia nervosa when I was 20 years old, in my final year of University. To cut a long story short, I am now 25 years old and it has taken all my strength to beat this disorder, along with the support of my amazing family and friends.
The most exciting part of my story is that I am getting married next May! My fiancee is a wonderful man who met me when I was going through my darkest times, and he has stuck by me and helped me to learn to love myself. I can honestly say that without this beautiful person in my life I am not sure I would even be here today to tell this story…
And a great two years it has been! Congratulations, and warm wishes for the next year of blogging.
I suppose one of the biggest steps I have taken is to realize that I am on a journey. Period. There is no perfect size, perfect fitness level, perfect job, etc. My body changes, as do other parts of my life, and no one time period completely defines me. Whenever I feel terror that something isn’t going exactly as I planned, I always remind myself that I have tomorrow, and and every day after that, to take the steps I want to make those changes. And sometimes I realize that I’m not up for a change at that time.
Congratulations on your two year blog anniversary! Part of my journey to self awareness and love has been to leave my PhD assistantship, move 800 miles away from my school, and contemplate the dissertation process all on my own. It has definitely helped to put some significant distance between myself and the program, which I didn’t enjoy a minute of for three years.
You have come so far, Angela! I love your blog. I could identify with so much of what you wrote in your first paragraph. I know I’m capable of so much, I just need to believe it. Reading blogs like yours helps, many thanks to you.
I bet you’ll break the 1000+ comment barrier!
Happy blogiversary! Thank you for all the amazing insights (and food) you’ve shared with us over the years!
One of my greatest passions is learning social entrepreneurs around the world and what I can do to support the, be it with my time or money. There are so many people aroudn the world without access to clean water, proper nutrition, housing who are exposed to terminal diseases. I want to take my business skills and one day to start my own social enterprise. This is how I express love.
Thank you for writing this blog. It is truly therapeautic to read, you are an inspiration to us all, Angela. I’ve dealt with my own disordered eating habits and reading your blog every day has helped me get through even the worst of times.
Your #1 reader in Boston, MA
Hillary Gras
Congrats on two amazing years! I found your blog just one week before I left my job. I felt much like you: discouraged, unappreciated, and unhappy. Reading your blog helped me realize that my passion was out there, but sitting at a computer all day taking orders from my dictator boss was NOT going to get me there. Although I couldn’t afford to not have a job, I now have one that doesn’t make me feel drained by the end of the day. I can go home, work out, make a delicious dinner, hit up the local yoga studio, go shopping, and do a whole bunch of things I had forgotten about. Thanks for you lovely posts. You are truly an inspiration.
Hi :)
Thank for the giveaway! I quite like your blog and it’s come to be a huge inspiration for me. I’m currently in treatment, recovering for an anorexia that nearly killed me three months ago. Now I’m much healthier and, little by little, getting my glow back :)
Thanks for being a daily reminder of what being healthy and happy is like… and how much it’s worth fighting for!
Oh, and happy second bloggaversary!
I love this blog because everytime I read it, I feel like the post always correlates to my life in some way. I’m passionate about dancing, fitness, nutrition (foooood!), writing, family, friends, animals, etc.
I was always so self-conscious, unsure of myself, and never satisfied with my body. I can now proudly admit that I really like Me :) While there are still those moments of uncertainty, I remind myself of the growth I’ve experienced, and it feels so wonderful :)
Stace
Happy Blogoversary Angela, am so delighted for you. Yours was one of the first ‘healthy living’ blogs I read and it continues to be one of my absolute favourites. It has been amazing to watch this blog grow over the past two years – I remember the older blue blog like it was yesterday :)
You’re an inspiration x
i never thought i was a runner and with 10+ half marathons and 2 marathons under my belt, I am…I am a runner. I remember when I started running, I ran around my neighborhood, it’s a 3 mile loop and I came home and told my husband that I wanted to be a runner…I am!!!
Hi Ange,
Congrats on your second year of blogging.
You have become a daily part of my life inspiring me to bake, cook and take control of what makes me feel best. I loving seeing what you are up to and how you are following your dreams. Your blog is making an impact on so many peoples lives, I hope you can feel all the love!
It’s nice to have you back in my life, haha, even thought its a bit different than the halls of RHS!
Thank you for your blog.
Pam
I recently lost 27 lbs, the slow, healthy way, and I feel great! I actually enjoy working out and eating healthy food now! I also enjoy getting some tasty recipes from your blog!
Thanks so much for inspiring me each and every day – I struggle daily with depression and anxiety – like drowning and trying to get to the surface. I can see the light but just can’t get there. Keep writing and motivating all of us to love ourselves as we are and for the potential we have to explore.
Happy 2nd Birthday, OSG! I just recently was told about your blog and I am loving it!
Wow, I hear you on the stifling feeling of graduate school – working your butt off to accomplish what someone else is telling you to do. I keep telling myself that I signed up for this, but it’s hard. Congrats to you on two years of OSG!
I am passionate about nutrition. That’s why I’m in grad school to get my PhD in it. However, I often wish I had taken this passion in another direction: dietetics, culinary school, even business school/restaurant management. But I am getting through it with a smile on my face. I’m confident that I’ll be able to turn this around and still find something to do that fulfills my passion and makes use of my eventual degree. It’ll happen. Even if I have to make it happen!
Happy 2yr anniversary! I think I’ve been reading for 1.5 of those 2 years. I’m still working on my journey to self-love and happiness, and you are definitely an inspiration to me! Thanks for offering such an epic giveaway :)
My passion is my family! I love OSG and your wonderful vegan recipes!
Angela,
Congrats! I think your blog is an inspiration. Just this past year I changed my diet and am now a vegetarian and I try to eat whole foods. I started going back to the gym again after a long hiatus. I battled with candida off and on over the years (I just didn’t know what it was). I completed a anti-candida cleanse and now I feel so much better and I have learned a lot. I think I got sick bc I wasn’t listening to myself and what my body and soul really needed. I like to think I am more aware than I was before. I still struggle with insecurities but overall I am grateful the life I have.
I know that am my best when I nourish myself. I am so happy to see that you are well too and that being healthy can make a real difference in one’s life. Oh, and thank-you for introducing me to green monsters! They are terrific.