Earlier this week, I met with two inspiring women who work at my undergraduate university- the University of Guelph. They came across my blog and bakery and were interested in hearing my story and telling me about a project they are currently working on. We chatted a lot about making the career transition after graduation and finding something you enjoy. If you have read my ‘A Year Can Change A Lot’ series, you know that the topic of career enjoyment is a huge passion of mine, so I was quite excited to share my ideas and hear what they had to say.
One of the issues we discussed is that so many graduates and students are unsure what career will make them happy. I used to be one of them. I remember struggling with what I wanted to do and I felt like if I made the wrong decision my entire life would be ruined. Thankfully, that was not true, although there were some difficult times.
I personally feel that the system did not work for me. I was just 18 when I started university and I really had no idea what I wanted to do, let alone what career would make me happy. I felt so much pressure not to screw it all up. I’m all for planning and aspiring to achieve great things, but sometimes I feel like these decisions are rushed and just thrown at us when we are young. Looking back I wished that I had taken a year in between my highschool and undergrad degrees to figure things out and give myself more time. But all my other friends were going to university too, and I didn’t want to be left behind.
Then comes graduation, which is a happy time, however it can also be a time of great unease. I was excited to get my Master’s degree, but no one told me about the loss of identity that came with it. My student identity that I carried with me for almost my entire life was now over, at least in the physical sense. After graduating, I was just supposed to magically have a successful career. This made me anxious.
I would always look at my friends and think they were so lucky because they seemed to be able to find the perfect job almost instantly. The truth is, many students and graduates do struggle, but not many people talk about it. I realize this now because I have received countless emails from readers who have shared their own stories with me. I was blown away by how many of you have struggled with the same things that I did.
The job market is tough. Competition is stiff. Student loans add to the stress and there seems to be an expectation to immediately find our Dream Job after graduation. I was so scared about not being able to find a job with an undergraduate degree in Psychology, I made it my mission to get into grad school. I worked my butt off to be sure that I would have a competitive application to the grad schools I wanted to go to. When I did get accepted into one of my schools of choice I was thrilled, but there was a tiny voice inside of me that said, ‘This might not be the right fit for you…’
I ignored the voice because I told myself I had no other option. While I wasn’t able to research the area that I was passionate about, I just figured I would learn to love it somehow.
During this time, I never really stopped to think about what I really wanted, only that I was now on my way to a bigger paycheck at the end. Lower down on my list was job satisfaction. I grew up with the idea that you never truly love your day job- you just pay the bills and put your time in and you try to enjoy your weekends. I also watched for many years as my parents struggled with finding happiness in their own careers. Even though my parents always, always, always encouraged me to do what made me happy, the thought of actually doing this was a foreign concept to me. I often swept these thoughts under the rug while taking graduate exams, working to pay the bills, and writing a thesis. Life was busy and I just went through the motions of what I thought I was supposed to do.
I never thought that I could do something entirely different than what I went to school for, but that is exactly what I ended up doing. What we do with our lives does not have to be decided when we are 17 or 19 or even when we are 50. Just because we have a degree in the sciences does not mean that one day we can’t open up our own art studio. We also shouldn’t have to stick with the same career our entire lives.
So you are now 48 and you want to go back to school and become a Registered Dietitian? I say all the power to you. I used to have a lady in one of my courses who was over 75 years old and she was such an inspiration to me because she knew that Life should be a life long learning experience.
I guess we shouldn’t lose our student identity after all.
I didn’t know what would make me happy until I tried it out. Often, what we learn from a textbook and what we learn in the real world are often completely different experiences.
I believe:
You are not a failure for not knowing what you want to do with your life.
You are not a failure for changing your mind. Once, or twice, or eighteen times.
You are not a failure for getting your PhD and deciding that this is not what you want in life (I get these emails all the time).
You are not a failure for not yet finding your ‘dream job’.
You are not a failure. Period.
Here are some success quotes that I enjoy:
I couldn’t wait for success, so I went ahead without it.
~Jonathan Winters
I don’t know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.
~Bill Cosby
I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.
~George Burns
I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
~Michael Jordan
I’d love your thoughts on some of these questions- Did you (or do you) struggle with choosing what to study in school? Do you feel pressure to figure out what it is you want to do for a career or finding a way to make it a reality? Did you grow up with parents who were happy with their careers? Have you ever made a career change?
PS- For my ‘A Year Can Change A Lot’ series, see these posts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 (1 year later)
Wow you just spoke the unspoke word. How’s a person going to spend 18 years on their education and then not be happy? Society has so many comments about this type of person and I have tried not to be that person. I’m miserable at my job though and I don’t think I chose the right career path; however, I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I don’t think I ever knew–I just went through the motions because I wanted to make my parent’s proud–the first person to go to college in my family and the 1st person in my extended family to go for a graduate degree. I’m 27 years old and I have no idea what I want to do and that’s scary because until I figure it out,I’m stuck at a job being miserable,working the 9-5 :-(
I struggle with this everyday! I have moments of my job that I like, that I feel content with, that I can put up with, that I am bored with, that I dislike, and that I hate, but never that i LOVE. I know I keep going solely for the paycheck.
So until I have the guts to leave and find out what I truly love to do I live vicariously through you :)
I struggle with this on a daily basis. I am a few months away from completing my PhD in the sciences (I’m in the horrible thesis-writing stage right now), and I have realized that research is not what I want to do with my life. I find it most frustrating when people say to me “So you are doing your PhD, what are you going to do when you are finished?” and I have to answer “Well I don’t really know.” Its nice to know that others feel this way too.
AMEN to this post. I’ve worked for five years in a job that doesn’t fulfill me, but i truly believe everyone is allowed to find their dream career. I’m simply searching for the thing I want to get my next degree in. What a decision when you love SO many things. Thank you for this post, Angela.
My M.A. is in English Literature and I’m constantly asked if I’m going to be either a high school English teacher or become an academic; and I plan on becoming neither! I wish there was less emphasise on which subjects you major in, and more emphasise on studying what you love and are good at, and on the quality of the skills you learn while at university (writing, research, team-working, communication and analysing skills).
I agree! I also don’t think a degree is a waste no matter what you end up doing…even though Im not in the psychology field I still learned invaluable skills while in school and that can’t be taken away. :)
I’d like to disagree. you ARE in the psychology field! Your background knowledge about psychology definitely shines through on your blog entries. Especially ones like these! I think it’s exciting to see how interests and academic backgrounds can fuse into something so great! I like to call it the results of educated passions ;)
Thanks Emma. I do agree that I use my psychology degrees in my current work, just in an unconventional way. I still get the satisfaction of helping others which is what I always wanted to do, even if it is not in the ‘normal’ way. :)
I agree Freya!
I am a religion major and a political science minor and I get asked pretty frequently if I’m going to seminary. I’ve already decided that isn’t the right choice for me but still find myself telling people that I chose my major because I enjoy it–and I’ve gained some great thinking/writing skills because of it. Not to mention my department is small, welcoming and incredibly supportive.
I wish people would focus more on the skills you’re gaining that the “Will this get me a job?” question.
Ang – I totally agree with this! My mom used to always say “education is lost on youth” and it would annoy me to no end! But I think I didn’t understand, and at the time I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do with my life.
Now, at almost 27, I still don’t know “what I want to be when I grow up”. I started university in the Concurrent Education – French Honours program and in 2nd year I did a placement in a grade five class and decided then that teaching was not for me. I then dropped the con. ed. but continued in French, all the while keeping those 2nd teachable subjects “just in case”. I thought that maybe I would look into post-grad programs but couldn’t narrow down which one I was most interested in but didn’t want to go back to school and take a program I didn’t truly love, as I had in my undergrad. Once out of university, I was faced with student loans that I thought I would never pay off, working at a job that had nothing to do with my degree, but I love it! I still don’t know if this is what I am meant to do but it’s helping me narrow it down. As they say, hindsight is 20/20 and I’m much happier working in a job that maybe pays a little less than what I would have been making had I continued with teaching, or jumped right into a post-grad program.
I’m in the midst of a concurrent education program right now and felt the same way after my 2nd year placement. I know I don’t want to be a teacher, but I’ll certainly use my education degree since I’d like to work in the field. However, when I tell people that I no longer want to teach they seem shocked. It can be hard listening to them comment on how great teaching would be (everyone seems to want the summer vacations!), but I know there are other careers out there that I would enjoy much more.
I’m in the midst of grad school and am constantly wondering if I’ve made the right decision. There’s a part of me that feels like I chose my career field because it was the safe thing to do since it’s where I have all my experience. I seriously don’t even know how I would go about switching into something else at this point, which is depressing because I’m only 26! But at the same time, I have really good days and love what I’m doing — it’s so confusing!
I’m one of the many people to whom your story means a lot. My brothers and I were all somewhat pushed into college by our dad’s expectations. I graduated with a degree I’m not using, the older of my brothers dropped out for a few years and is now back in school, and the younger failed out. I’m now a huge believer in taking time to figure out what you want (and figure out that retail isn’t it!). I’m now in school part time, taking prerequisites for a grad program in dietetics (I didn’t even take bio and chem the first time around!) and I’m happy about where I am. The one piece of guilt (and it’s a big one) is knowing that my parents basically wasted their money on a private college education that I am not using. But I figure that as the oldest I’ll just make sure I’m in a place to provide for them in their old age. :) (Thanks again for all of these posts!)
I literally starting tearing up when I read this post. Thank you for the hope! I know all to well what it’s like to feel ‘stuck’ in a job…
I still struggle with what I want to do with my life. I really want to be a stay at home mom, but my husband and I have been trying for over four years with no luck. Right now I am working part-time, but I do not feel fulfilled. I desperately want things to change, but feel pretty stuck right now.
Golly. I really needed to see this, particularly the part about not being a failure. I gave up my lifelong dream of being an actress after I moved to NYC and realized that being a professional artist was not the life I wanted, and I’d rather come back home and be a writer. Since then, I have had a lot of hardships, but I wouldn’t trade my life at home with my family for anything.
Thank you so much for this post! I’m graduating from college at the end of this year, and everyone keeps on asking me what I’m going to do after I graduate. Endless questions. “What are you going to do?” And I always feel silly just shrugging my shoulders and saying, “I don’t know.” Knowing that there are other people out there like me makes me feel a little more relieved. :)
Thank you so much for this post. After getting rejected from yet another job yesterday, I have been trying to convince myself that I am not a failure. This was exactly what I needed. I got two BA’s last June in history and political science, and I have been job-searching for over a year without any success. I initially majored in political science, realized I hated it, but I had already taken too many courses to just drop it. Luckily, I still had time to add a history major before my four years were up. I hope I can go back to school in a few years and get a career in history, but right now, I’ll settle for any job offer that comes my way.
I can totally relate. I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do when I started college, but I ended up studying things I really loved and double-majored in religion and European history with a music minor. I’ve always like school and figured I continue on to grad school and maybe teach, but struggled a lot deciding which major I wanted to continue with and if that was the right path for me. I felt unprepared to make that decision in the beginning of my senior year, before I’d even taken my upper-level courses. I really wanted to take a year off to teach or volunteer, but my mom talked me out of it because I’d have to start paying back my loans and the whole thing made her anxious. I ended up enrolling in a library and information science program that I’m not really happy with. I’m not sure what my next step is, and I may end up going back for my masters in religion or into one of the teaching positions I was looking at before, but I just really wish that I had taken the time off to figure out what I really wanted to do before continuing in school.
I really really am struck by this. I hated my second degree (my first was tolerable). And my second degree ..it was bad…and I knew it…my god, I would sit on the floor at night in complete darkness wondering why I continued it. It drove me mad, quiet, sullen, depressed, everything.
Now, my health is really bad..like, not good. And the job I currently work at? It pays half…half…of what I used to make…and I have major loans, major debt, major bills, everything. I’m just coping. I rented a movie this weekend and I’m filled with shame for it…because I literally need every penny I can get. I have no extras; I spend a lot on food…but I long for a lot more in terms of …everything.
I should be grateful for my job…no matter even if it pays me in 1 week what most people make in one day…literally. And it sucks me of all my time…I’m constantly doing it and it is not sparkling. Just sitting twenty four seven.
And I thought 2011 was going to be a time of exploring more and trying to figure it all out in my head and heart. BUT, I suffered huge health setback in beginning of january…and it looks like 2011 is the year of getting my health back. I have to because right now, I barely walk. I can’t do anything beyond a walk…and it will be a long long time before I do anything else. So, health first. And paying bills and food, and some guilty splurges when possible. Survive…but be grateful. And just keep the faith, right? Just live each day and not think too hard on it.
I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your journey with us all! Reading about your change in careers has been very inspirational. Growing up my parents attitude toward their jobs was that it was something you do to pay the bill – I never considered the idea that it could be something you loved! I would agree with a lot of comments that coming out of high school and into university I simply went through the motions as if it was something that I had to do but never thought about why I was doing it or what I wanted to get out of it. I will be graduating in a few months and although I am still uncertain about my career path I am thankful for the opportunities that my undergrad career has provided me which have allowed me to learn a lot about myself
This is a great post! I am VERY pro-job satisfaction… haha. It took most of my twenties to have the courage to pursue my passion without the fear of judgement :)
Wow, Angela… thanks for this post. It’s so clear you have a gift for relating to people and encouraging them with wisdom from your own experience and your positive spirit. Look at the positive difference you are making by being you and being so open and honest!! It encourages me to see someone functioning so effectively in their gifting, as I hope to discover and do one day soon as well! Way to go, girl! Thanks again for the encouragement, I needed it.
Whenever I stress about my major being a determinant of my career path, I read this address, given by Andrew Abbott at the University of Chicago: http://www.ditext.com/abbott/abbott_aims.html. He provides evidence against the claim that there is a strong relation between what you study and your occupation later in life, and he even argues that college learning does not have a significant effect on cognitive functioning. Instead, he emphasizes that education is “the emergence of the habit of looking for new meanings, of seeking out new connections, of investing experience with complexity or extension that makes it richer and longer, even though it remains anchored in some local bit of both social space and social time.” Essentially, education – not the aim of something else, but an aim in itself – enriches life, making it more enjoyable and more meaningful.
I’ve heard about that before and I think it is fascinating! Thanks for sharing the link…will be checking this out.
I came here by accident, but it’s nice to know that the message in the bottle ended up in somebody’s boat. Best wishes to all seeking what to do with their lives. To seek is to live. The people who know exactly what they want to do are already that much closer to death.
I just graduated in December with my Masters in Public Administration. I thought I wanted to work in Non profits until I realized it was just like the business world I was working in, minus the money. Now I’m about to start taking pre req’s for medical school. I don’t know where life will take me and some days it seems like way to much to take on, but I know I at least have to try. I wish I had taken my time and focused more in undergrad so I would not be here right now. Everything happens for a reason though and I think the majority of people are unhappy in their jobs and afraid to make a change. I do not want to be one of those people. Thanks for the inspiring quotes today!