Sometimes it’s hard to transfer my swirling brain into the written word. Eric has this funny gesture that he does when he’s poking fun of my overactive mind. Picture him making buzzing noises as he motions electricity coming out of his head. He knows all too well that I’m often unable to quiet my mind. Writing has been challenging lately because life has changed so much and it’s been hard to focus with so many things going on. Then there is the sleep deprivation which isn’t always conducive to making coherent sentences. I always ask Eric what I can write about and he always says, write about how you can’t think of anything to write about. God, he’s so logical…ha.
Creative writing was always my favourite thing in school, next to gym class. My mom often digs up stories I wrote as a child and sends them to me. My writing was so free and filled with zany, creative tales. I never worried if I was saying the “right” thing or if others would like it. I owned that shit. In highschool, I eagerly signed up for a creative writing class with my awesome English teacher, Mr. Pierce. We each made our own creative writing journal. Mine was a huge coiled notebook (I think I splurged on the “fancy” Five Star notebook!) filled with random scraps of inspirational words pasted onto the pages and stories confessing the things I had been struggling with or triumphing over. I wrote about love and heartbreak, a cross country move with my mom, missing my best friend, and starting my last year of highschool in a new school. I wrote about my anxiety and struggles with body image. I wrote and wrote and wrote my little heart out; the words came easily because I knew that my teacher would be the only one reading. It was like therapy. Each week, his encouraging comments scribbled below each entry lifted me up. Sometimes he would ask us to share a bit of what we wrote with our classmates and I would freeze up, rarely ever volunteering, even though I could see him glancing my way out of the corner of my eye. Writing freely for yourself is one thing, but being vulnerable and sharing it with others takes guts. Heck, even writing honestly for your own eyes takes guts.
Even after 6 years of blogging and consistent daily writing, I still struggle with the debilitating feeling that my words don’t matter or what I have to say isn’t worth sharing. Isn’t it funny how we can defeat ourselves before even trying? Brain, stop that! I miss the freedom with writing that I felt so many years ago in my creative writing class.
When I started this blog I wrote as if I was writing in my journal. After all, no one was reading so I didn’t think about it much. As the blog grew, I started to overthink every word I wrote because I felt eyes looking over my shoulder as I typed. Would this offend someone…does this sound preachy…will I inadvertently destroy a young and impressionable human being? I’m being dramatic, but you get the idea. This type of thinking stifles every creative bone in the body. It’s definitely a good thing to be aware of others, but it’s a fine line and it’s easy to lose yourself. I think we’ve all been there whether it’s with writing or in real life situations. It’s funny though, since writing my pregnancy and baby blog posts, I’ve actually felt a renewed freedom in my writing again and I’ve even had readers take notice and comment on it. I love writing those weekly posts mostly because I feel like I’m writing in my journal again. It’s helped me bring back the me in my writing.
So. I’ve decided that I want to write more freely and in spite of fear. I don’t think that fear when sharing personal writing will ever go away (sharing takes guts, and always will), but I do think I can forge ahead anyway. I love connecting with YOU; it’s what ignited my passion for blogging in the first place (way back in 2008). What helped me write this post was just sitting down at the computer one night and letting my thoughts hit the paper (err…keyboard). No censoring myself, just writing freely. It felt good!
Having a daughter has made me think a lot about the lessons I want to teach her some day (gulp!), and encouraging Adriana to speak her truth is high on my list. I want her to be BRAVE and raise her hand and share her stories! And not just share her stories, but to feel like her words are worth sharing. That is so, so huge. To know that you are worth it. But I know that I have to practice what I preach and show her there is strength in vulnerability, in taking risks, and being true to who you are.
Raw Chocolate Pudding
Yield
3 servings
Prep time
Cook time
0 minutes
Total time
This raw, completely natural, no-sugar-added banana cacao almond butter pudding will make your heart skip a beat! It won't give you a sugar crash either. I expect that kids will love this recipe too. If you don't have raw cacao powder you can try using unsweetened cocoa powder, although you will likely have to adjust the amount to taste. I recommend adding it 1 tablespoon at a time and taste testing as you go. Roasted almond butter would also work lovely. And because I will probably be asked - the banana flavour does come through quite a bit in this pudding. Recipe adapted from Green Kitchen Stories, which was adapted from the Kernesund Familie cookbook.
Ingredients
For the pudding:
- 3 medium bananas, peeled (see note)
- 1/2 medium avocado, pitted (see note)
- 1/4 cup smooth raw almond butter
- 4-5 tablespoons raw cacao powder, or to taste
- 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
- pinch of pink Himalayan salt or fine sea salt
Optional toppings:
- Coconut Whipped Cream (recipe linked in notes below)
- 1/4 cup hazelnuts, toasted and chopped
- Raspberry chia seed jam (recipe linked in notes below)
- Pomegranate arils
Directions
- Add all pudding ingredients into a food processor and process until smooth, stopping to scrape down the sides of the bowl as needed. I like to let the machine run for a couple minutes to get it super smooth.
- Portion the pudding into a container and chill in the fridge for an hour or so. Or you can serve it right away with the recommended toppings. Best enjoyed within 12-24 hours or so.
Tip:
Tips: 1) You want to avoid using overly ripe, brown bananas in this recipe or the banana flavour will overwhelm. Yellow with a few spots is best. 2) If you want an "instant" cold pudding, refrigerate the bananas and avocado prior to making this pudding. 3) For the coconut whipped cream recipe, see here. 4) For toasted hazelnuts, roast the nuts at 300F for 10-14 minutes until the skins start to fall off the nuts. Place toasted nuts in an old tea towel and rub vigorously to remove the skins. 5) For my Raspberry Chia Seed Jam recipe, see here. 6) I don't recommend using an avocado that is bruised as it will be bitter. A soft, but still green, avocado is perfect for this recipe.
First, the pudding looks amazing! I can’t wait to try it. I have been craving chocolate like a crazy lady recently (we’ll just blame it on the cold/snow!). And second, the moment I found your blog last year, I knew my life was going to change for the better! This sounds so cheese-y, but reading your posts are like talking to a big sister! I sometimes read your older posts, and they are truly inspiring! And what writer stays “the same”-I mean, isn’t that the beauty of being a writer? Blogging is so darn cool because you have an electronic catalogue of how you have progressed in your life, as well as the recipes and the writing! Keep it coming-you’re recipes, stories and journey as a new mama inspire so many of us…new bloggers (like me), and seasoned! I seriously don’t know what state my body or health would be in now if I hadn’t found your blog and your story. Thank you!!
Hey,
I actually made this the other night as another vegan blogger had posted a very similar recipe on instagram. I have to say, the combination of avocado (fat) with banana (sweet fruit) and almond butter (fat) gave me a painful and uncomfortable tummy ache for the remainder of the day.
Great idea for a recipe, however I think most will suffer from the wrong combinations of ingredients here.
Next time I’m just not going to add the avocado and in place of the nut butter, add some coconut sugar. Maybe a frozen banana for a thicker consistency. Not sure what else I could use to get a similar pudding-like consistancy.
Hope you and your baby are well. xxx
“Even after 6 years of blogging and consistent daily writing, I still struggle with the debilitating feeling that my words don’t matter or what I have to say isn’t worth sharing. Isn’t it funny how we can defeat ourselves before even trying?”
This is something I struggle with every day, too… And I, too, was an epic childhood writer and storyteller! It’s so cruel how growing up mutes us, when it should help us find our voice more! I hope you enjoy writing from the heart, journal style, more this year :)
Also, chocolate pudding, AMAZING!
This looks amazing, can’t wait to make this to satisfy my chocolate craving :)
http://www.mintnotion.com
This looks fantastic. Every time I make a chocolate mousse using avocado, it never tastes just right. I’m looking forward to trying this recipe and hopefully it will break my bad luck streak with raw desserts! Thanks for the recipe :)
Emily
Angela, you are such an inspiration to so many readers, fellow bloggers, and people alike – just remember that!
For one, you have inspired me to start my own blog as a way to work through MY body image issues. I really do owe my passion for healthy food to you and your blog. Thanks for that :)
This pudding looks amazing, by the way. It definitely will be on my rotation as this winter weather breaks!
You are lovely <3
Thank you for this amazing recipe, I have only recently started eating vegan and I struggle the most wothith my sweet tooth! Definitely going to try this ♥
Yummy!! Love a good avocado-banana chocolate pudding!
For me, the hardest part of writing is the first sentence of paragraph. Once I get through it and put something down that I really like, I feel the rest flows a lot easier. I try not to over-think it, but of course it can sometimes be daunting. Will they get my joke, or will it come off wrong? It’s difficult with writing, to make sure the write tone comes off. I completely get your fears, but your writing is what drew people to this blog in the first place (besides all the drool worthy food, of course!)
{Teffy’s Perks} X
The raw, vulnerable and personal posts are always my favourite to read and write. I think i can be guilty of over sharing sometimes, but if I dont tell my story then who will? Keep doing what youre doing and always stay true to yourself. P.S. The pudding looks gorgeous. I know I definitely saw bananas sitting in my kitchen this morning, and I’m going to turn them into this when I get home!
It looks amazzzingggggg! So delicious! Need to try this recipe.
www.trangscorner.com
Ok, this recipe….. I’m drooling just looking at it! But more importantly, I love your honesty, Ange. Your words resonate with people far more than I think you know, and I think some of your best posts are ones like this. I agree – putting yourself out there is hard and takes major guts, but every time you do it makes me re-affirm how much I absolutely love reading what you have to say! xo
I have been trying to start a blog but the same fear you talk about keeps getting in my way. I love reading your blog and I see you as a person who would be a great role model for girls.
Thank you for your inspiration, both in living a healthy, loving life and facing the fears that hold us back from doing what makes us happy.
Angela –
I have been reading your blog for a few years now and have recommended it to SO many people. More than one of these people have come back to tell me how much they love your writing style and your recipes. I know putting yourself out there is scary, but I would hate to see you censor yourself. I love that you are getting back to “you!”
I love the way you write! And this recipe. Anything with no extra sugar works for me as a type 1 diabetic so this is inspiring. going to have a go!
I LOVE your blog! Your words are extremely worth while and I appreciate the time you spend and the wonderful recipes you share!
OMG…a few weeks ago I made a very similar recipe but in the form of overnight oats. Basically, make cacao-banana-date-almond milk, soak chia+oats in it, and stir in almond butter and chia jam in the morning. I’m eating this incredible concoction right now, and I almost screamed at my desk when I saw your post. I must agree that these flavors are AMAZING together!
I was just telling my husband last night that I fear my words don’t matter. Thank you!!! Beautiful post and nice to know we are not alone in feeling this way.
Thanks for this very honest and inspiring post Angela. I know exactly how you feel! If you haven’t read it already, I highly recommend “The art of possibility” by Rosamund Stone Zander. It blew my mind and helped me pinpoint the ways in which fear has held me back. I think you might enjoy it!
No sugar added in a chocolate pudding? Now THAT by itself is an achievement worth mentioning :)