On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Angela, congratulations!!!!
I came across your blog last spring and was thrilled to see that you are a not only a fellow Canadian but that you live a town or two away (what a small world). Since then I have made your recipes, tried to eat your blog and tried to scratch and sniff my Mac to smell your yummy photographs! :)
As for myself I’m passionate about entreprenurialship, WordPress, eating nutritious and delicious meals. I left my job 5 years ago and never looked back. 9-5 is not for everyone and it certainly wasn’t for me. As an entrepreneur I can be as creative as I want to be with may business and with my clients. In the kitchen I love to be just as creative with healthy recipes. 4 years ago I was on a strict “take out” diet. I worked long hours to get my business off the ground and never had the motivation to cook or take care of my insides. After working with a naturpath I found out I was intolerant to a big list of foods this got me back into the kitchen. Thanks to your blog I have a new recipe each day!!
I’m also very passionate about the health of our 2 dogs. We lost one of our dogs last summer :( He was 14 years old. By the time we heard about and took him to a holistic vet it was too late. We changed his diet to a raw diet, we gave him supplements and tinctures. I know we prolonged his life and made his last few months more comfortable. Unfortunately he was given too many vaccines throughout his life and thats what made him lose weight and lose the ability to use his back legs :( We miss him like crazy. On a happier note our other two dogs are thoroughly enjoying their raw food diets and love their holistic vet.
Congratulations again! May your next 2 years be even more successful, adventurous and bold!!!
My biggest passion in life is simple…I want to improve the lives of as many people as I can. I would love to dedicate myself to becoming the voice to those who cannot speak for themselves such as the needy, the hungry and the children of the world. I have run many organizations such as; Model United Nations and Amnesty International in my university and am now completing an internship within CNN. This upcoming March, I will be able to study abroad in China where I will not only practice my mandarin, but also have the priviledge to observe part of my culture.
In the future, I hope I can continue to work for CNN and help develop new programs that will bring aid to those in need across the world.
Throughout my life, I have struggled with loving and accepting myself for who I am. Over the years, I have learned to start loving myself on a daily basis. Through the little things and the big things. I recently started a blog to in a way document my journey. While I have only begun this journey, I am enjoying it, realizing I have to accept myself along this process and not expect everything to be perfect right away. Your blog gives me inspiration and encouragement. Thanks, and congrats on your progression through the Food Challenges! :)
Thank you for being an honest, genuine blogger (and for having a spectacular camera!). My own journey is just beginning…I’m overcoming obstacles set by myself, and it’s a struggle but I’m seeing the light :)
I love reading your blog!!!
I’m not exactly sure what my passion is yet. I love to cook! I love taking pictures! and I love making people happy!
You have no idea how sharing your story over the years has inspired me. I think I found your blog not long after you started. You have inspired me to take a good hard look at my own journey especially in my professional life and to seek out what I truly want. I don’t think I am there yet, but just know that reading your story has helped me and encouraged me to stay positive.
Congrats to you! I’ve just starrted my blog… for similar reasons. I love food and the “finer” things in life, but that has evolved into my putting a lot of unhealthy things into my body. So I’ve begun trying to turn the titanic around. It’s not easy… thank you for the inspiration you provide!!!
Happy 2nd OSG!
I am still working on the ‘self love’ part and I <3 this blog because it's giving me new healthy recipe ideas!
Happy birthday, OSG! Your blog is one of the best out there and it has been so fun to follow along on your journey. You are very inspiring!
Something that I have grown to love about myself… well I don’t think I’ve “grown” to love it as this trait has only transpired as of the past year but I am really proud of my ability to deal with uncertainty and stressful situations. My husband (unexpectedly) deployed to Afg for the first time two months after we returned from our honeymoon. I’m not quite sure where the military will send us when he gets back but it’s okay, so long as I get to be with him :)
Happy Anniversary! and Thank you! I am passionate about food, expressing creativity in the kitchen, writing, and soon I’ll be trying my hand at photography. I guess I’m most passionate about exploring my passions.
WOAH BABY! Can you believe how many people read your blog- It must totally rock! Im glad others share my addiction. “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You, too? Thought I was the only one.” Im suddenly feeling VERY popular.
i can believe it though, as much as my friends and fam like to give me a hard time about loving on your blog- it has become my most visited page (yupp, you beat out Mark Zuckerberg, sorry facebook)
Nothing like a good contest to get people commenting, huh?! Probably like a lot of the other girls this is my first little throw back :) so guilty.
What i LOVE ABOUT MYSELF is my PASSION to DISCOVER me. At twenty I have lived a lot of life. Some of it has been hard and some of it has been sad. Most of those sad and hard times weren’t actually as sad or hard as i thought, and all of them i would relive again and have grown to LOVE. I love them, because they were a kick in the butt. They made me realize what I didnt want in life, who I wasn’t, and how I didn’t want to end up without any serious consequences. They also led me towards experiences and opportunities that i would have other wise maybe never have experienced. Not that I don’t struggle every now and then, cause of course i do- but I am focused on bettering myself, loving myself, and figuring out who i really am. Not who I was, or who I thought I wanted to be, or even what people tell me I should be. I love dancing to my own music and figuring out just what genre’s make me wiggle my cute little booty.
Happy Birthday OSG!
Angela, congrats on being such an inspiration to so many people! You helped me on my own rocky road of self-deprivation and your story was a comfort as I was going through my own career change.
I always turn to your blog for some running motivation! Thanks for your post on negative splits!
Congrats again!
Hey, been loving your blog forever…and LOVE it! I love how you don’t count calories and just eat really healthy…I eat really healthy, but I can’t get away from counting calories yet. Someday, once I’m at my goal weight I want to be just like you!
Congrats on your 2 year anniversary! I have just started reading your blog about 3 weeks ago, and I just love it! I check it everyday, at least twice sometimes three! I have just started my journey with eating and liking myself. I am 39 years old a mother of two small children, both of my children are adopted, we have had them since birth. My son is 5 yrs. old and this was the beginning of the change for me. My life was out of control, I had a new baby, no family and my husband and I had been without children for 10yrs! Then 16 months later we adopted my daughter, who was colicky for 8mnths. I had no family, my friends had disappeared, because their children were older and I had babies. I was at the end of my rope. Eating, and exercise were no where on my list, and it showed. However when I get stressed I don’t eat. Over time this took it’s tole on me and my family. I woke up one day and new I had to change. I was diagnosed with an underactive thyroid and yeast, I went on a yeast cleanse, hated it, but then did a lot of reasearch on food and how it effects us and I needed to change that. So here I am 5 yrs. later eating raw, vegan, and vegantarian. I am also a runner, and I lift weights! I am enjoying my family. My son is 5 and my daughter is 3 1/2 and I have never been happier. I am enjoying all the kinds of foods that I have been trying…and loving your website! I would love to try your Globars, I have been meaning to order some. Again great job with your blog and website!
I’ve grown to love my love of food! I’m no longer afraid to try new things, and I jump right in when it comes to new recipes! Thank You!
Congratulations on 2 years–best blog out there!
I am still figuring out my journey, but enjoying every meal, every workout, every rest day, every moment. Along the way I have discovered my passion for food and how much better I feel when I fuel my body with clean, delicious food. I love myself for taking a leap and starting the journey towards getting my own glow!
I’ve come to realize the power we all have, and not take for granted the things I do every day. the human body really works in amazing ways, if we let it.
Dear Angela,
First of all I want to say thank you for getting back to my previous comment so quickly. I’m still amazed that even though you have such a popular blog with so many followers you promptly answered my question about wheat free baking. I guess in my eyes you are kind of like a celebrity so I just didn’t think you would respond ( I know I’m so rude!) Anyway I can relate to you so much because I am still struggling with self acceptance and disordered eating. I would have never ever guessed that you were still struggling with these things when you posted that first ever blog post. I am still reading all your old posts (I’m on June 11th 09 now!) and you always seem to have it together. I just recently found a new job with visiting nurses in my hometown. (I’m a registered nurse) Last year I moved out on my own to a city in Connecticut that was an hour away from my friends and family. I got a really prestigious position in the ICU at Yale New Haven hospital (not sure if you’ve ever heard of it). It’s an awesome job and I’ve learned a lot but it is super high stress, my schedule is crazy, and I really don’t have a life. Over the summer I started really reading your blog. The fact that you quit your high paying , prestigious job to do something you love gave me hope that I too didn’t deserve to be unhappy all the time despite the reputation of the position. I am so happy to be moving back near my family and friends and taking a position at a MUCH less stressful place where I can feel like I am better making a difference in someone’s life. I also need a routine and now I will have normal Mon- Fri hours and not have to work rotating to every shift and working weekends and holidays. I have been so much better with my diet as well. I too counted calories and unfortunately had a bit of a binging problem. I have to say I have not binged in months and I feel so much better. Your blog inspired me to learn how to cook and eat healthier food because it provides nutrition for my body! I have tried so many new things since reading your recipes. When I go shopping and see things that you eat I get excited and say to myself “I have to try this, Ange was eating it on her blog!” Unfortunately with my work schedule I am too exhausted to exercise and I have to be in work at 7 am so it’s hard for me to get up earlier. I usually don’t get home until after 8 pm so you can see how exercise has kind of fallen by the wayside. I love running and actually did a few 5ks this summer but I haven’t ran in a while because my scheduled hours have increased. I cannot wait to get back into it once I have a more normal life. (A few more weeks weeee!) Your blog has showed me that I don’t need a fancy gym membership or crazy expensive equipment to get a great workout. Your positive attitude rubs off on me (and I’m sure it rubs off on everyone who reads your posts) and reminds me to live my life in positive way, being grateful for each day. I am still struggling with self love but I will not give up on myself. I will continue to read your blog, try new foods, exercise again, and be happy to be me :) I am slowly finding my way. Who knows, I know I’m not the best writer but maybe someday I will have a blog too…. or at least a wheat/soy/dairy free bakery!!! :)
WOW…2 years! So glad I dound your blog…you’ve inspired so many vegan yummies to come out of my kitchen! Thanks, thanks, thanks!!!!
WOW! Happy 2 Year Anniversary! :)
I have definitely struggled with body image and my relationship with food since I was 11. Running and strength training have taught me a lot about how to appreciate what my body is capable of and how great being healthy FEELS (not just looks). I love the exercising makes me feel great! It makes me feel better than eating a pan of brownies (my old go-to). I love how you feature healthy comfort food recipes so that eating food isn’t about gluttony and then exercising to “run it off” (I hate that mentality), nor is it about counting every calorie and logging it. I love that you accept yourself and your love of food and make it healthy! Isn’t life all about balance anyway?
Love your blog! Keep up the good work! You are an inspiring example of what peace with yourself can look like. :)