On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
HELLO from North Dakota! I just recently started reading your blog and I am so thankful I did. Over the past 2 weeks I have tried numerous numbers of your recipes and they are fantastic. I am happy to report that I feel like I have WAY more energy to keep up with my daily demands (4 boys and hubby+part time job and nursing school). I may never convince my family to be completely meat free, but your recipes are sure paving the way for more meatless days. My family absolutely loves your dried apple pie slices. Can’t wait to try some Globars soon. I plan on taking them with me for when I need a quick snack! Keep the post coming I enjoy reading them and seeing what new ideas you come up with.
I went through a fantastic journey of losing 75 lbs and doing a triathlon, a half marathon and various 5 and 10ks. Two years later, here I am…I have gained 65 lbs and my esteem has plummeted. Through the two years, I fell in love, broke up and fell in love again – – but what I am realizing now through the journey of gaining my health and perspective back, is that my healthy lifestyle is ultimately going to be about learning to love myself. I can relate to your blog because healthy food is a passion, one that I must continually explore – – thank you for inspiring me to love food again.
I just want to know – – why do you use tomato paste…is it a form of ketchup for you?
Miigwetch.
Love Oh She Glows – happy birthday!
I’d say I became my happiest when I realized that it’s better to do what you love (even if it pays less money) then simply work for a pay cheque at a job you hate.
Congratulations on your anniversary!! My biggest passions are diet and nutrition, which I have discovered through reading your blog and others like it. I have discovered how wonderful I feel when I eat healthy food and move every day. After spending my teenage years unhealthy, it is nice to feel so great!
Congrats on your anniversary!! I just wanted to let you know that you’ve made a profound impact in my life. For years I too struggled with disordered eating, body image issues, overexercising, etc., and around the time I found your blog in October of 2008, I was in the darkest point of my disorder. But through reading your blog and others such as Kath, Tina, and Caitlin, I saw how you and these beautiful, healthy women ate and I felt that I deserved the same healthy, fun life with delicious food as well. And through reading your struggles and reflections on your issues, it helped me in so many ways because I could relate so closely to your struggles and it felt so comforting to know that I was not alone. Reading your blog has been so therapeutic for me and I’m now at the healthiest I’ve ever been and I’m so happy. The other day my mom even asked me “what helped you through you’re struggles and overcome it?” And I said, the healthy living blogs and especially one in particular, Oh She Glows.” :)
Thank you Angela, you’re truly an inspiration and I thank you and am truly grateful for allowing me to come into your life and coming into mine.
I have recently started reading your blog, and have enjoyed it so much! I have also recently started a similar journey and am inspired by your wonderful recipes!
Happy birthday OSG! It’s almost my birthday too, and that’s something I’m slowly learning to love. It used to be another year, another failure, but now I think I made it another year, I’m still here and I’m proud to be rocking what I’ve got! Here’s to many more prosperous years to us all!
HAPPY 2nd BIRTHDAY! YEA!
I am in love with running, yet it is still hard for me to call myself a “runner”. I am passionate about it because it is something I can push myself, its not an easy thing, and when I am running, I am out there doing something for ME! And, well, thats all that really matters right?
Congrats on your anniversary. I have developed a new appreciation for my body and what it is capable of. I am slowly making changes in the way I eat and exercise. My goal is to run my 1st 5k bymy 50th birthday Sep 2011.
I found your blog earlier this summer while looking for reviews on the Acura 10 Miler. I was hesistant to run this race because of the distance and the heat. In other words, a lack of confidence. However, after reading your post I decided to sign up. My friend and I completed the race and beat our time goals. Two months later, we ran a Half. Now we talk about running a marathon. It all started just by reading your blog. Thanks OSG!
This may be a weird passion, but I love the snow. I love how the air gets crisp and fresh right before a snowfall. I love how it blankets the ground and trees, and I love the crunching sound it makes when I’m walking on it…
More importantly though, it calms me down.
Congrats, Angela!
I’m an actor and am finally pursuing it full time. I quit my office job and while I miss the paycheck, I do not miss the job! It’s hard but I know if I keep on keepin’ on it will pay off!
I love baking. I love reading in bed. Congrats on 2 years!
I, too, am passionate about writing. Although I currently am a high school special ed teacher, I hope to make the move to full time freelance writer next summer. I’ve started my journey by writing for the Las Vegas examiner, as well as 2 personal blogs. Your journey is so inspiring, and as I make steps towards completely overhauling my career, I think about you and your courage often. Thank you for the daily inspiration!
I recently came across your site, and am inspired by your enthusiasm for health! I am a mom of 3 preschoolers, struggling to find time to run and making progress eating healthier. One thing I’ve learned to love about myself is my height, I was always a head taller than all the boys growing up! Wasn’t that excited about it when I was younger, tho. Thank you for being such a great example of sound physical and mental health, it’s nice to know there are people out there who struggle with the same things I do!
Gorgeous! You are are gorgeous and your blog is gorgeous!! These last 2 years have gone by very quickly and even before I started blogging I followed you daily. I love that you supply hope, inspiration and humour to us all!
Since blogging I have also found my self love and that confidence I had been missing for the majority of my life!
This giveaway is amazing!!
xxoo
Kris
happy birthday osg!! i’ve been reading for over a year and i’ve loved reading about your journey to where you are today. you’re one of my inspirations! i am currently on a journey of self-love and also searching for my passion. i graduated from undergrad and went directly into a grad program, and now am just working at odds and ends jobs, as i don’t know what i truly want to do. i also suffer from chronic binge eating. i believe both of these things stem from the same issue of lack of self-love. i am working on it, though! doing more things for myself and trying to respect my body with food and exercise. hopefully one day i can be in such a happy place like you. thank you for being such a great role model for me, angela. and thank you for osg!
I just recently decided to run my first marathon. I have a while before I am going to do it – but this is the first time I am running and doing something for MYSELF. I have always done everything for everyone else, but this is a goal that I am setting for myself. I know I can do it and I want to be proud of the amazing woman I am and continue to become!
congrats!
one of my passions is teaching. I love kids/teens and hearing their points of view. it is definitely rewarding to help and teach them!
Congrats on 2 years! The main thing I’ve been learning about myself lately is how to adjust to — and learn to love — my new body now that I’m pregnant. It’s been kind of trippy (in a good way) to look in the mirror every day and feel a little excited that my tummy is getting BIGGER.
I’m grateful I found your blog 10 days ago, the same day I joined your Green Monster Movement. My energy is through the roof. I have passed the GMM and your blog on to several people in my life, and they are reaping the benefits as well.
I’m greatful that I control depression, it doesn’t control me.
Happily passionate about life.
Susan