Happy Olympics! yawhooo!
Sketchie had a long, hard week! ;)
Amazing response to the Glo Bar coupons yesterday- I added more and those went too.
Now onto breakfast…which was delicious oatmeal!
Quick and Easy Chia Banana Kiwi Oatmeal
Ingredients:
- 1 cup almond milk
- 1/2 cup water
- 1/2 cup regular oats
- 1 T chia seeds
- 1/2 T cashew butter
- 1 t pure vanilla extract
- pinch sea salt
- 1 ripe banana cut into chunks
Directions: Throw all ingredients into a pot and stir on high until it boils. Reduce to low temp and whip like crazy. Pour into a dish and add your desired toppings.
I enjoyed every bite!
Do Your Friends Keep Tabs On Your Weight?
The other day I was talking to a girlfriend of mine. Kara (not her real name) is upset because one of her friends makes constant comments about her weight.
I’m going to talk a bit about Kara’s situation (she gave me permission to talk about it on the blog):
Kara’s friend always asks her questions about her weight such as how much she weighs. Her friend also makes comments when they go out to eat such as ‘You are getting dessert? I thought you were a healthy eater?’ or even criticizing her for ordering a salad and soup telling her she needs to ‘stop eating like a bird’.
Kara feels very self-conscious about these comments and she isn’t quite sure what to do about it. She said that she feels like her friend is keeping tabs on her weight and is always watching and monitoring whether she is working out, eating healthy or unhealthy, or losing or gaining weight.
Kara said, ‘I am starting to feel obsessed with my weight because I have these hawk eyes on me all the time.’
‘In a way, I almost feel like I am being scrutinized like a celebrity, even though I know that what I am going through is nothing like a celebrity! I just feel like I am always being watched…and if I slip up or gain a few pounds this person is secretly happy or is going to make a comment about it. I feel like she is always waiting for me to do something wrong so she feels better about herself .’
Have you ever been in a similar situation as Kara?
Do you have friends who keep tabs on your weight or make comments about what you eat/how much you workout and turn it into a competition?
What do you do about it?
There will likely be a Part 2 of this topic as I want to add my own thoughts but this post is already a bit lengthy. :)
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Coming up on OSG a dramatic before and after of a room in our house!!!!
I have a friend who always comments on her own weight now that she has gotten skinny (too skinny in fact…115 at 5’8″ is no good!). Anyways, on occasion she will ask me about my weight and I have told her numerous times that I don’t know or care about my weight because I just care about looking like I’m fit and BEING fit. It bothers me that she puts so much emphasis on it and sometimes I do feel like she is keeping tabs on my weight. I even felt embarrassed when I saw her the other week because I had put on weight since she had seen me last. And even tough I’ve done that in order to get pregnant I felt like I was judged and that I had to justify why I was bigger. One thing that has shut her up more than before though is when I told her that I want people to know I work for my body, not that I starve for it.
Poor girl, that’s messed up. I’ve definitely had friends act like that too, though, like making me feel guilty for not getting dessert or having a healthy entree, or vice versa, especially now that I have my healthy food blog. It basically just comes down to jealousy on their part – feeling like they can’t control their own eating habits so they have to criticize yours. Gotta let it roll off your shoulders. It doesn’t matter what others think as long as you feel good both mentally and physically about what you’re putting into your body!
Yeah, this is a loaded topic… And it is disheartening to see how many women bring down other women :(. I haven’t had too many people comment on my weight, but the few times they have literally orbit in my mind ALL THE TIME. Like, years and years later. I remember my uncle told me once, probably five years ago at this point, that I would look good if I just got rid of that gut. I remember I randomly lost weight during the summer before college (just from running around and partying too much I guess) and my mother saying, Wow you look good. It becomes this mantra in your head, this belief: thinner is better, thinner is better. And it drives you crazy and makes you unhappy — and obviously can make some people lash out at their friends because of how miserable they feel.
PS – Sketchie has been working too hard! Time for a vacay :) He’s so cute.
From the facts posted, I can’t even understand how Kara can consider this woman a friend. I would stay far away from this woman! We should surround ourselves with people that make us feel good — life is too short to deal with negative people. On the other hand, if Kara really wants this person to be her friend then she needs to confront her about her feelings.
Losing a lot of weight from an unhealthy weight for my height made me realize that there’s a very thin line (no pun intended) between people congratulating you and people telling you you look ridiculous/need more food in you/”why are you getting the salad?”
I think its natural to deal with our own body image issues by comparing ourselves to other women. And who doesn’t have body issues? Even us who are most comfortable in our skin still have our days where we just don’t like what we see. I feel like body image issues are something that all women can understand and relate to. I think Kara should be able to talk to her friend and discuss the situation. In the end they could both benefit. Kara would feel like self-conscious and maybe her friend will get a chance to talk about her own issues concerning body image and weight.
I have one particular friend that DRIVES ME CRAZY by constantly making comments about my weight / body! She herself has severe self-esteem issues, so I am not sure if her regular comments toward me are something she feels that every friend should offer or what.
Lately she’s said “You look like you’ve lost weight,” every time she sees me. I attribute this to a new pair of jeans (darker in color), the fact that I only see her once a month or less, and maybe just general changes in attire. I definitely take it with a grain of salt, and when she tells me this I just try and change the subject.
She does constantly bug me about exercise – I am her maid of honor in her wedding about 2 months from today – the worst she’s ever done was comment on my Facebook page (for all of my friends / contacts to see) about – “Hey, why weren’t you at the gym? When are you going to work out?” which was totally rude of her.
Thankfully my friends are all pretty chill about what they eat, but they do stress about the way they look.– like spending hours getting ready and changing clothes multiple times instead of actually leaving the house and having fun… I’d rather not spend hours in front of the mirror curling my hair and they give me a hard time about not wanting to primp for as long as them..Great post, it really made me think. Happy Olympics!
My friends NEVER do that, but my sister in law sounds exactly like Kara’s friend… I HATE IT. She totally gives me a hard time for eating lots of veggies (“rabbit food diet”) and she’ll often comment about how she likes to “eat real food” and how “she can’t eat nothing like I do”… and this is when I have a hugh jass salad and she’s having a bowl of ice cream with chocolate sauce… She is very thin and I think my wieght loss (90lbs) makes her insecure. (obv) She’s always right there to let me know how she thinks my progress is coming… if it has slowed etc. AND she constantly asks me my weight. I caught her once trying to see what size my jeans were and I said “they’re a size 12… I know… HUGE aren’t they?!” .. She became very embarrased and then kept trying to tell me how she thinks I don’t look “that big”… *sigh*
As you can see from my novel, this post spoke to me. Kind of feels good to vent about it! :) Thanks Ange!
I totally have a “friend” like that, too! Once, she told me that she had a dream that I lost weight, and that she was so mad at me for it! It felt like she was threatening to not be my friend if I ever got skinnier than her…
I’ve noticed that most people who are critical of what others eat, and how much weight they lose or gain, are typically just very self-conscious of themselves. I think they’re afraid your healthy choices are making them look bad! I have learned to let it go with my certain friend, but it took me a while!
i think all of us have had friends like Kara…the best thing to do is to confront them abt it…telling them how you feel!! Good Luck!!
Ange–was wondering if you read that 3 of the top 5 liveable cities in the world as ranked by ‘The Economist’ are Canadian!! ye yaaaaay….represent!!
1. Vancouver
4. Toronto
5. Calgary
As a registered dietitian working in a hospital, I can totally relate to your friend’s comments. My coworkers and I get comments if we eat dessert (“Ooh, the dietitians are eating cake! I thought you always ate healthy!), but then we also get comments if we’re having salad for lunch (“All you girls eat is salad! That’s how you stay so trim!) We also get people defending their food choices to us. It’s almost like they feel as if we are “catching” them with that tray of french fries of slice of pizza… as if we are judging them or something (which is totally not true, we are not the food police!). Most of the comments are all in “good fun,” but it gets frustrating because we can’t win either way! Oh well, can’t please everyone I guess! I’m loving the discussion you got going and am looking forward to part 2!
Oh my gosh I totally get this! Girls in high school are constantly talking about it. When I was in the depths of my eating disorder girls would say, “You are scary skinny!” and that didn’t help at all. Or once at a friend’s house we were eating candy and the same girl looked at a bag of candy and said “Oh my gosh this has 8g of saturated fat!” I mean, hello, it’s candy! But once in a while is fine!
I don’t really have anyone in my life who makes it much of a competition, although people are constantly commenting on how thin I am – and how my body has been changing since I started working out. What I do have is my boyfriend, who notices literally every weight fluctuation, and he’ll tell me (sometimes not-so-tactfully) that I’ve gained or lost weight. It kind of gave me a complex for a while until I talked to him about it. Now he’s figuring out how to say it nicely.
Yeah, I do have friends who make comments on how I eat, and it drive me bonkers. I love my friends dearly but sometimes it really makes me feel sad to hear some comments from them.
However, the ones that I felt the worse and who always commented with a tone of jealousy I simply slowly walked away from. It is somewhat sad, but it was definitely not doing me any good being around them, and I feel much better now without their presence, thank you very much!
The one thing I hate to hear is “oh, I so wish I could eat like you” or the worse ones “you are so lucky to have a nice body, you can eat as much ice cream you want”…. arghhhhh!!! Wait, wait, my body may look good, but I DO WORK HARD FOR IT!! I treat myself well and my body with the respect it deserves. I eat healthy, I get enough sleep, and I exercise. I didn’t get where I am out of nowhere, my at least 3 days a week at the gym are very accountable into my shape!
It is like people don’t see these aspects when they comment about other people’s body or way of eating. I hate hearing those kind of comments from people who don’t do a thing, who don’t move themselves and and who eat poorly (and they always have an excuse for eating like that way, have you noticed that?!!!).
I wish people would think before they say anything, some comments are really hurtful.
Anyways, love your blog and the topics you always bring up, it is so cool to see others opinions on the subject and see that you are not the only one affected out there. It make me feel a little better!! :o)
And that oatmeal looks great with the kiwi slices on top! I made some oats yesterday just like that, looooove the chia seeds in my oats, so good!
Ana
Sometimes I feel like my dad does that!! How annoying. I definitely feel uncomfortable eating certain things in front of him.
I must know, what do the skins of the kiwi taste like. I’m too scared to eat them that way in fear of the fully sensation.
I’m in pretty much the same situation right now but with my mother-in-law! Whenever my husband and I eat with them she always comments on what I’m eating like why my salad fills up most of my plate, why I am not the meat, why did I have so little of dessert or none at all? It’s driving me mad, I know how to take care of my body and I know what it needs I don’t need someone to tell me that I eat too many veggies and not enough dessert! I honestly have no idea how to deal with it, usually I just ignore her haha!
i was thinking about this post at the hairdressing!
i have to echo what someone else said – i hate it when people talk about how “lucky” i am to be a healthy weight. like it’s something that happened accidentally???
bottom line is you need to be thoughtful when you talk to someone about weight.
Fortunately, the only people who make comments about my weight are my dad and brothers. They think I am too “thin” and that I should eat a “cheeseburger.” They really don’t understand the whole vegetarian diet (although I weigh the same as I did when I ate meat).
I think that if Kara really values this friendshp, she should talk to her friend about the comments that she is making. She should let her know that it bothers her, and that it makes her feel insecure. Kara’s friend is obviously insecure about her own weight and eating habits. Perhaps laying it out on the table can help them have a healthier relationship, and perhaps her friend will also begin to feel less secure if it no longer an issue.