Aside from my current career in the food business, many of you may not know that I also moonlight as a Barber. The job is not to be taken lightly as it requires a fine attention to detail and precision, something I have no place in assuming much skill. However, I’ve had some practice in this area with recipe development and I figure it’s always wise to develop a new skill set for the resume.
Every month, Eric calls me into the bathroom where I find him stripped down to his boxers with his Deluxe hair trimming set splayed about, clutching the large electric trimmer in one hand. This is when I transform into Barber Extraordinaire cutting his hair while catching up on the day’s gossip just like any good stylist would.
The most difficult aspect of this task is by far the point at which I have to trim the base of his hairline and make a very, very, very straight line. The first time I did it, I felt like I was trying to pipe a gingerbread cookie, my hands shaky and my pulse escalating. But now that I’ve been cutting his hair for over 10 years, I swear I could do it in my sleep. It’s really fool proof!!
“Looks good to me”, I say with a nod then disappear from the room.
Except this time Eric returned home from work with some rather upsetting news.
“Pete had a good laugh today.”
“Oh yea?”
“We were out for lunch and Pete gave a couple glances at the back of my hair. He said ‘Man, who cut your hair…Did you cut it yourself?’”
“I said ‘No, Ange did.’”
That’s when I piped in, “He loved it, right?”
“Then Pete said ‘Did you look at it? Man, you better go take a look at the back of your hair in the mirror. It’s so crooked it looks like a ski slope.’”
I took one look at Eric’s hair and it looked like a 2 year old set loose on it. Pete was right, I botched that cut almost worse than the time I cut off my best friends beautiful long hair as a 5 year old.
“Oh my Goooood. How did I…”
I burst out laughing and could not stop. Tears came, from laughing so hard.
“You’re fired.”
I tell you, the first day back at the job (he was desperate), was rather anxiety-provoking. I trimmed that hair so straight you could’ve put a laser level on it and it would pass with flying colours. So far, no more comments from Pete, but I might have a few choice words for him next time he’s over.
As for our professional relationship, I’m happy to say that Eric and I have put this matter behind us.
Thankfully, smoothies, do not require such precision and attention to detail; after all, I make them first thing in the morning when I’m still half asleep. I’ve only had a couple explosions so far.
Back on Track Green Monster (Banana Free)
Yield
3 cups
Prep time
Cook time
0 minutes
Total time
This Green Monster is great for getting your healthy eating back on track after a series of indulgences. It sets your day on the right tone and instantly makes you feel ah-mazing. For the banana haters out there, you’ll be pleased to know that this one is banana-free. As with any smoothie, feel free to play around with the ingredients to suit your own taste buds. You might like more or less lemon, ginger, apple, etc.
Ingredients
- 1 cup kale
- 1 large Gala apple (or other sweet apple), roughly chopped
- 1 English cucumber, peeled and roughly chopped
- 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
- 1 tsp fresh grated ginger
- 1/2 tbsp coconut oil
- Maple syrup, to taste (I used 1/2 tbsp or so)
- 4-5 Ice cubes
- Protein powder, optional
Directions
- Place all ingredients except maple syrup and ice into a high-speed blender and blend on high until very smooth. Blend in ice and maple syrup to taste.
- Guzzle.
- Feel amazing.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the US! I hope you have a fun, safe, and happy holiday weekend.
oops! laughing out LOUD
Very light and refreshing. Thanks for this really clean smoothie recipe!
Thank you for making this!! I am allergic to banana’s and have been looking for a good mix without them! :D
This looks amazing! It looks like a delicious way to get your veggies! Can you substitute kale for spinach? I know you can do that with the classic Green Monster, but will it work in this banana-free recipe? Thanks!
Im sure you can, just add a small amount at first to make sure it’s not overpowering :)
This looks beautiful! I make a similar smoothie with spinach and avocado, but I always include half a banana. On another note, do you mind sharing where you got those straws?!
http://www.eatsbydesign.com/drew-mannings-spinach-smoothie/
The glass straws are from a company called Glass D’harma :)
Thanks for sharing this non-banana recipe! I used spinach in stead of kale and it tastes good!
Hi Angela, I’ve discovered your blog a couple of months ago and I can only say I’m over the moon about all the wonderful recipes and inspiration you provide. I’ve tried already a couple of recipes and they were all delicious. I have some little concerns that I hope you can help me with, maybe with some useful advice. I’ve changed my alimentation recently to get rid of extra weight and some painful health problems and so far it has worked wonders for me, but it is limited (reduced amounts of fish and meat, all the veggies and fruit I want, fatty acids and vitamin d supplements, no wheat, no dairy, no sugars, no sausages/cold cuts). I don’t sport (if you don’t count house chores, running after the children, biking in the city and the occasional walks in the office and in the park) and I wonder if I may be intaking too many calories without being able to burn any. This shake seems great, I guess I can try it without the protein powder too, right? Things like peanut butter, I saw some amazing dishes here…aren’t they very caloric? This kind of doubts I have…I really hope you can help, I am drooling with all these recipes…
A little clarification: the doubt about the calories intake is related to some totally yummie recipes here, not to everything I eat nor to all your recipes . Also, I try not to have any kind of yeast and some of your recipes have some form of baking soda or other means, some contain nutritional yeast, which I’m also not sure if I can use or not. Again, thank you for the great food!
Hi Sara, Thanks for your comment! I now post the nutritional info with my new recipes (I started doing this a couple months ago or a bit longer which is why old recipes don’t have the info), so I hope this will help guide you with your own efforts. I use a program called Calorie Count for my blog recipes – it’s a free program that let’s you calculate the nutritional info. Check it out if that’s of interest to you. I don’t count calories in my diet, but I can see how this is helpful for some. Good luck and thanks for reading!
Hi Angela, thank you very much, I will try to check it out, although I’ll need help from my nutritionist I guess, I don’t count calories either, nor I have a limit for them, I really just changed my alimentation, its patterns and the size of my portions, which were of male-Dutch size! My concern about the calores has more to do with the fact I’m a sweet tooth and an emotional eater than the calories per se, if I start eating sweet things (bread,cakes,cookies, nutella etc.) I won’t stop, it was my main problem, comfort eating at all times paired with a sedentary job…disaster! All your recipes make me want to cook and to eat, yesterday for instance I tried the millet-lentils-avocado-basicl pesto salad but I used spelt eliche pasta instead (delish!), I think I just have to space the sweet recipes well and it will be fine. Stress and guilt do more disasters for your body and your weight than anything else, so I’ll enjoy all I try! Today I’ll give a go to the mint green monster I think :-)
Thanks for the recipe! The coconut oil doesn’t harden from the ice and cold liquid?
Just tried this recipe and loved the kick of ginger! Because I don’t have a proper blender (just an attachment with my Magimix) I found it wasn’t as smooth as I would like it. Would you recommend chopping the kale finer, or maybe blending the kale/ fruit before adding the liquid? Any suggestions would be great. Love this blog!
Hey Alison, Thanks for your kind words! Unfortunately, with kale, you really do need a high-speed blender (such as a Vitamix) to get the kale super smooth. Otherwise, I suggest using spinach as a replacement as it blends up a lot easier than kale. Enjoy & good luck!
Haha! I have never cut anyone’s hair before (except my own, once, when I was five or six years old). I don’t think I would trust myself to do a good job — I wouldn’t even know where to begin!
As for making smoothies, though, that’s something I can get on board with. Love green smoothies, and it’s been way too long since I’ve had one. Yum!
the pictures are fantastic! and the recipes are really great and original!
Just tried this smoothie and it was delicious! The only modification I made was that I added some frozen pineapple chunks (Yum!). Thanks for the recipe :)
Hi Angela!
I love this one! So refreshing. After a lot of experimentation, I’ve found that my favorite way to make a green monster is with kale, soy milk, frozen mango, frozen peach, cinnamon, vanilla, almond butter, and chia seeds. :)
Can’t wait to try this and I’m sending the recipe to my MIL who doesn’t like bananas.
One of my favorite smoothies right now I like to call Upbeet. Recipe below:
Four 1″ cubes of beets
One 1″ cube of fresh ginger
6-8 fresh mint leaves
6-8 fresh basil leaves
1/2 lemon
1 orange
6 ice cubes
4-6 baby carrots (optional)
Blend together in a high speed blender and ENJOY!
One of the first vegan recipes I made was the Classic Green Monster smoothie. I loved that it was packed full of nutrients but still tasted amazing. One of my staple vegan recipes to date!
Quick question, do you peel your ginger before throwing it in the vitamix?
Thanks, great blog by the way.
I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I cannot get off of it. Thanks so much for your hard work. I noticed you use maple syrup primarily as a sweetener, do you ever use agave?
Yes I do sometimes (mainly when I dont want the maple flavour to come though)
Thanks for your kind words!
My wife thinks she is a hairdresser. She is an accountant. I have little to no temper. I don’t get mad. She would say I pout. However I become very angry if anyone messes with the cuteness of our three kids. They are grown now. Both boys cut their own hair too short. Our daughter is a diva and makes up for our families lack of supporting the hair design community. When our handsome middle child was playing football his wonderful curls stuck out from under his helmet. He was not comfortable from the attention from the girls. My wife cut his hair and couldn’t get it straight. He ended up looking like Slingblade. I took her clippers and through them in the river.
You really know how to name a recipe.