Aside from my current career in the food business, many of you may not know that I also moonlight as a Barber. The job is not to be taken lightly as it requires a fine attention to detail and precision, something I have no place in assuming much skill. However, I’ve had some practice in this area with recipe development and I figure it’s always wise to develop a new skill set for the resume.
Every month, Eric calls me into the bathroom where I find him stripped down to his boxers with his Deluxe hair trimming set splayed about, clutching the large electric trimmer in one hand. This is when I transform into Barber Extraordinaire cutting his hair while catching up on the day’s gossip just like any good stylist would.
The most difficult aspect of this task is by far the point at which I have to trim the base of his hairline and make a very, very, very straight line. The first time I did it, I felt like I was trying to pipe a gingerbread cookie, my hands shaky and my pulse escalating. But now that I’ve been cutting his hair for over 10 years, I swear I could do it in my sleep. It’s really fool proof!!
“Looks good to me”, I say with a nod then disappear from the room.
Except this time Eric returned home from work with some rather upsetting news.
“Pete had a good laugh today.”
“Oh yea?”
“We were out for lunch and Pete gave a couple glances at the back of my hair. He said ‘Man, who cut your hair…Did you cut it yourself?’”
“I said ‘No, Ange did.’”
That’s when I piped in, “He loved it, right?”
“Then Pete said ‘Did you look at it? Man, you better go take a look at the back of your hair in the mirror. It’s so crooked it looks like a ski slope.’”
I took one look at Eric’s hair and it looked like a 2 year old set loose on it. Pete was right, I botched that cut almost worse than the time I cut off my best friends beautiful long hair as a 5 year old.
“Oh my Goooood. How did I…”
I burst out laughing and could not stop. Tears came, from laughing so hard.
“You’re fired.”
I tell you, the first day back at the job (he was desperate), was rather anxiety-provoking. I trimmed that hair so straight you could’ve put a laser level on it and it would pass with flying colours. So far, no more comments from Pete, but I might have a few choice words for him next time he’s over.
As for our professional relationship, I’m happy to say that Eric and I have put this matter behind us.
Thankfully, smoothies, do not require such precision and attention to detail; after all, I make them first thing in the morning when I’m still half asleep. I’ve only had a couple explosions so far.
Featuring all new, protein-packed salads, hearty toppers, flavour boosters, and dressings you'll want to drink, my new cookbook will transform the way you think about salads. Oh, and be sure to flip to the back for a surprise dessert chapter!
Back on Track Green Monster (Banana Free)
Yield
3 cups
Prep time
Cook time
0 minutes
Total time
This Green Monster is great for getting your healthy eating back on track after a series of indulgences. It sets your day on the right tone and instantly makes you feel ah-mazing. For the banana haters out there, you’ll be pleased to know that this one is banana-free. As with any smoothie, feel free to play around with the ingredients to suit your own taste buds. You might like more or less lemon, ginger, apple, etc.
Ingredients
- 1 cup kale
- 1 large Gala apple (or other sweet apple), roughly chopped
- 1 English cucumber, peeled and roughly chopped
- 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
- 1 tsp fresh grated ginger
- 1/2 tbsp coconut oil
- Maple syrup, to taste (I used 1/2 tbsp or so)
- 4-5 Ice cubes
- Protein powder, optional
Directions
- Place all ingredients except maple syrup and ice into a high-speed blender and blend on high until very smooth. Blend in ice and maple syrup to taste.
- Guzzle.
- Feel amazing.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the US! I hope you have a fun, safe, and happy holiday weekend.
Hi, is that a glass straw in your smoothie? Do you mind telling me where you found it and whether you like it (is it durable)? I’ve been on the hunt for one. thanks!
Hey Jeannie, It’s from an online company called Glass D’harma. I love them! I have had one break on me before (it was dropped) but the company replaced it for me. If you are fairly gentle with them, it shouldn’t be an issue. I like that it isn’t plastic. Just be sure to rinse them with water right after using or the smoothies can harden on the inside. I rinse with water and then pop them into the dishwasher.
I just made this for breakfast and it was WONDERFUL!! I’m just about to make up a big batch of the detox salad. Thank you so much for your wonderful blog and for sharing all of your fabulous recipes.
Thank you for trying out the recipes! :)
Hi Angela!
I’ve been neglecting my body and my health overall in recent months and I really need to get back on track. Being a single mother who works full-time, I’ve been seeking out quick breakfast options for myself and your Green Monster sounds ideal! My only concern is the English cucumber. I personally have a very difficult time digesting cucumber in any form; how necessary is the cucumber to the recipe? Or do you have any suggestion for a substitution? Any help you could offer me would be awesome! Thanks!
Oh, and I discovered your blog just today and I can’t stop playing around on here! You’re an inspiration :)
Hey Caitlin, I use the cucumber mainly as a filler in the smoothie due to its high water content and fairly neutral flavour. You could probably sub coconut water or another high water veggie. goodluck!
Angela,
Do you think it is OK to freeze the smoothie?
I was thinking if that would work … so I could make a batch sunday night and have it in the office every morning …
I’m not sure, but it might be worth a shot. I would try just a single serving to test it in case it doesnt work. Let me know how it goes!
I’ve been lurking for years and had to comment. First of all, I think you are a food genius. I have lost over 20lbs using your various recepies. I made the banana free green monster and it was DELICIOUS. Even though I love banana’s sometimes I want to cut back on the calories from them and didn’t think I would enjoy a smoothie without one. I substituted protein powder with greek yogurt and added Vanilla Stevia instead of Maple Syrup. Thanks again.
Hey Trina, Congrats on your weight loss! Good for you. Thanks so much for your lovely comment. All my best.
First of all, your photos are GORGEOUS! I just found your site and am totally hooked!
I’ve been drinking green smoothies for a couple of years and just this week thought I’d try them without the banana. Love bananas but variety is good. The addition of the apple is enticing – I can’t wait to try it.
Your story – too funny. I’m thankful my hubby shaves his head. I did try trimming his beard though once, slipped and gave him a bald spot. Oops! :)
BTW, is that a glass straw?
Guzzling my green monster as I type. Actually, my 2 yr old is as well, and is sporting a very yummy and very green moustache! Thank you, thank you, thank you for a banana free recipe! It is delish!
Thats great!! Thanks for letting me know
Thank you:
A. I love your blog and have been experimenting with your recipes a lot lately.
B. Your story about ski sloping your husbands head made me laugh so hard I cried a little bit.
hah you are sweet! I will have to do that to Eric’s hair more often then…muhauau
I’ve left the banana out before (because I realized too late that I was out of them) and I realized it seemed to be the key to making a green smoothie tasty – without the banana all I could taste was spinach, lol, I’m excited to try this version!
hi angela, i love the idea of your green monsters but for me here in australia Kale is virtually non existant, and moreso, apples are a major no-no for me (along with all other stonefruits, my IBS-sy stomach just can’t handle them) what are your best substitutes?
Hi Alex, you could try spinach or chard?
HI
I was wondering if you can make this the night before, will it be still good?? I tend to make my smoothies the night before as not to wake the house up since i leave really to go to work??
Yes Im sure you can. Just place it in a sealed container in the fridge and give it a good stir in the morning before drinking :)
So happy to see a banana free smoothie!! I am allergic to bananas and pretty much every healthy smoothie has them in it! Thanks!
Hi,
Just wondering if Spinach would work for the “back on track green monster” smoothie? Where I’m from it’s hard to get kale outside of its season.
thanks!,
Ayla
Yes it certainly would work! Enjoy :)
I’m new to Green Monsters, but plan on doing a 3 day detox after the new year. I want to incorporate these as a regular morning meal. Do you drink all 3 cups in 1 serving? Or is it 1 cup per serving? Thanks!
Yes I usually drink the entire thing….love em too much not too ;) enjoy
Angela, just made the green monster today using this recipe. Best green monster recipe I’ve ever made!!! The ginger was such a nice addition. My 6 year old liked it but only when I made it without the ginger, which he thinks is too spicy. This is going to be a regular on my weeky menu, thank you!!!
Could honey be used instead of maple syrup? Not much of a maple syrup fan…
I cant see why not! Enjoy
I just tried this smoothie and either I did something wrong or this just isn’t my kind of smoothie. It came out very … thick. Is this normal? The consistency is almost like celery after it’s been chewed: fibrous and watery, whereas I’m used to smoothies being slightly thick but not so much that I need to chew them.
The only thing I did not add was the protein powder. Would that help? Or am I just the odd lamb out and perhaps I’ll never experience the joys of green smoothie pastures.
Hi Agnes, hmm….mine was not very thick at all so Im not sure why. Did you make any changes to the recipe? Does your blender normally have a hard time blending things like kale very smooth?
I haven’t really had problems with my blender (even though it isn’t one of the top ones). After looking at other green smoothie recipes, I’m wondering if the order of blending might have something to do with it. Perhaps I’ll try again blending each of the ingredients separately.
Thank you!
Thanks for this! I’m allergic to bananas, and it’s difficult to find smoothie recipes that don’t have them (understandable as they’re delicious, and thickening).
Earlier your Green Monster included chia seeds & lemon grass powder. Which of these is causing the (most) laxative effect? These are delish but I found out I need to stay near home. Yipes! Will this effect decrease?
Yipes indeed! hah. It could be the chia seeds. I`ve never tried lemon grass powder before though, so I would read up on that too. Better luck next time!
Laughing out load as this exact thing takes place in our home as well! Great smoothie too.