Graduation Fears

Hey Angela,

I grew up in a family of four – mom, dad, my younger brother and myself. My mom and brother dropped out of high school and my dad dropped out to work in a mill, but he eventually got his grade 12 by going to night school. I was the “smart one” in the family so they had high hopes for me.

In final exam week of my first year of college, my dad suddenly and unexpectedly passed away. It was terrible and I really didn’t know what to do. At the time I was working as a pharmacy technician but I knew I didn’t want to do that forever. I wasn’t passionate about it and I wanted a change.

I moved out of my hometown about a year later and went to a different school (University of Victoria) where I am now in the process of completing a BSc. in biology. I feel a lot of pressure to get that dream job, especially from my mom. She has no idea what university life is like or the huge student loan I have accumulated. I want to believe I am doing the right thing, but it is so difficult to know when all I’m doing is racking up my debt. I have a backup plan that I will go back to school to become an LPN to hopefully repay my loan faster. It costs less than one year of tuition at UVIC, and I can complete it in the same area where I live. So it is more of an investment. But is it the right choice? I struggle with that question everyday.

But I do know that if I try my best and smile every now and then that things will work out. No matter what the hardships I’ve endured, things can only go up from here.

Part of why I love reading your blog is because I too went to undergrad for psychology, but I started working in research and put off going to graduate school (which I pretty much felt was a given), on the advice of some grad students (among others), telling myself every single following year that I was going to apply still. Well now I’m 6 years out, loving the jobs I’ve had in research, and realizing I don’t necessarily need to go back to have a fulfilling career. Apparently that professor career I’d had planned for so long wasn’t necessarily what I really wanted or even what I had imagined, despite my best attempts to convince myself it was the only option. My dad is a professor, and he loves it, so he’s always wanted me to get my PhD also, and there’s always this unspoken feeling that you’re wasting some sort of talent if you don’t pursue it fully. I have come to realize that I need to live my life for me, for what makes me happy, and for what will fulfill me at the end of the day, not what others are possibly going to be disappointed in. So long as I’m successful and happy, my dad is proud of me, and if I do go to grad school one day, it’ll be for the right reasons.

Hey Angela!
I had an experience similar to this last year. I graduated from Dalhousie with a degree in Marine Biology in 2009 and I was applying for all these jobs with the government that were the next logical step. I was working retail full time while I was applying for jobs and I felt like a complete failure. I was constantly embarrassed by my job. I had an undergraduate degree but I was working in a job where I felt horrible. It was a dead end job for me and I hated it. I left to take a summer job at an environmental non-profit organization doing river restoration. I really enjoyed the work and the people and I felt better about myself by doing it. Meanwhile I was applying for jobs that I found I wasn’t really excited about. I wasn’t even that upset when I didn’t hear from any of them.

At the end of the summer I decided to go back to school to upgrade so I could eventually get my masters. Why? Because that was what the next logical step was. Was that what I wanted at all? Not at all. When I went to my first day of classes I knew that this wasn’t where I wanted to be at all. I almost wanted to get up and leave right after the first 5 minutes of class. I went right from there to the career counseller and made an appointment. Around this time my best friend introduced me to the world of healthy living blogs. I had always been interested in food and nutrition, but this was a whole new world to me. I started reading a few blogs, including yours, and I loved them. I loved learning about new foods and getting ideas about what to make. I’d only ever had instant oatmeal and I rarely ate breakfast. Green monsters and banana oatmeal soon became my breakfasts of choice. While I was talking to my career counseller I took a career placement test and dietitian was one of my top matches. I looked into the career and local schools and decided to jump in headfirst. In January of 2010 I applied to Mt. St. Vincent University and I am currently in third semester of a nutrition degree that will take me another year. I am hoping to work as an RD in a hospital or community setting. I love helping and education people about being healthy and learning about it myself.

I know this is such a long winded comment but I really credit all of the blogs out there including yours for changing my life direction. It made me realize a passion for something I didn’t know I had. My best friend and I still read your blog daily and she’s dealing with a post degree crisis right now as well. She told me that she was almost in tears after reading your post, and I was the same. So thank you for sharing your story Angela, it’s a hard journey, but in the end it’s worth it to be happy and you’ve proved that :)

I love this and needed to hear it!! I have a bachelors and masters degree (which I am still paying for) and still am not sure I have found what I REALLY want to do yet?? I think I have lots of soul searching to do still..

Hi Angela!

I’ve been faithfully reading your blog for about 4-5 months now and have never commented. I love Oh She Glows!

I really related to this entry. I needed to read this, and I’m glad you posted it. I’m in my 4th year right now and have been feeling all of those things lately.

Thanks for sharing and giving me a positive and reassuring boost :)

I am in this position right now! Talked with my husband about it over dinner. The trigger; a friend mentioned her daughter is student teaching in London. I immediately said if I had to do it over and then I wanted to cry. Cry because I’m 26 and I feel trapped and I shouldn’t. 26 is young but yet I feel my time has passed to explore.
I’ve worked for a company for 6 years when it was supposed to only be 3 years. I worked there to pay for college and then I got complacent. It’s been just the past 6 months that I decided to change my life completely and open my own photography business. Perhaps its your blog and others that have inspired me to know I can do anything, but most importantly I HAVE TO TRY!
I”m at the point where I want to give up my cubical and take odds and ends jobs to pay the bills if it means freedom from my current J.O.B. Honestly, the thought of making less pay working at a coffee shop, or a bakery, or a bookstore sounds APPEALING to me! It is all to get my business off the ground.
Thanks for everything you do! I’ve never met you but you seem wonderful! ;)

Ohh this is AWESOME!! I’ve just recently decided teaching is NOT for me (after getting a teaching degree and subbing for 2.5 yrs) and am pursuing personal training certification. It is something that I’ve always wanted to do but didn’t feel like it was something I could make a living off of. I consider myself lucky that I’m in a position were I can not work for a few months and concentrate on my certification. Nonetheless I am beyond excited that I am finally pursuing my dreams!

Wow… thank you SO much for this post. This is exactly what I’m going through right now. I’m a freshman in college and don’t know what I want to do. I thought I wanted to be a nutrition major for so long… then I took my first biology course and chickened out and changed my major to “undecided”. I figured I could be an accounting major… make decent money but have a boring job. At least I could have fun on the weekends and continue working as a personal trainer part-time. But I know that being an accountant will suck! I’m going to try the nutrition thing again and push through it, because I know it’s what I want to do. I won’t be happy with anything else. Thank you so much for this.

Oh, yes! Career change? Definitely! I think the most dangerous thing a person can do is stay in a career that they are absolutely bored to tears with because they don’t want to put themselves “out there”. I stumbled into a career as a corporate recruiter after college. I really tried to get into it, but I grew so tired of feeling like I was coming into touch with 100s of people every week and just passing them onto the next place. There were no relationships! I needed to do something rewarding!
I left that position to jump head-first into something completely different! I am now a consultant and supervisor at my current company and love that I make an impact on other businesses every day. My workplace nurtures its talent and I am doing things I never would have imagined I would be doing! Oh, the paths life takes us on! The only interviewing I do these days is just to add people to my team.
Bottom line, if you are hungry for more, go find it! There is nothing more exciting than following your gut, navigating new roads, and opening doors for yourself!

This is just what I needed to read right now!! I’m finishing my Ph.D. and definitely don’t want to stay in academia, but I’m still unsure what I want to do. And I think it’s OK for me to take some time to figure it out. It’s so encouraging to hear from others who have found their dream jobs, and it gives me hope that mine it out there somewhere!! :-)

Straight-forward education-career route? Ha! Not for me, though at 17 I assumed I knew what I would do for a career.

First I was accepted in Fashion Design, but realized that I am not “commerical/business/marketing-minded enough” and that a career in that field may indeed kill my creativity. Then I decided to do a Bachelor of Applied Arts, which became a BA with History Honours. The “easy route” seemed to be getting my Masters and PhD in this area, which did not work out. I thought due to my marks and others’ opinions that I needed to do something academic for a career, although teaching the subject was what I really wanted to do. I then went into teaching, which I love (though supplying is not something I love), and am waiting to hear back about whether I have been accepted into a Masters of Education program in Counselling Psychology (fingers are crossed!). A fabulous counsellor once said to me, “Don’t SHOULD all over yourself,” and I LIVE by that. Do what feels right, and listen to those quiet voices of bravey.

I, too, started college just after turning 18. I began at a large state university in Pharmacy (I felt that people look down upon the arts, so I chose science), I quickly changed my major to Mass Communication so I could follow my passion of writing, got extremely homesick and transferred to a small private college for my sophomore year, became confused about what I wanted to major in (some of my classmates discouraged my love of writing, and I listened..), took the first semester of my junior year off, transferred yet again, this time to a large university in the city where I could commute from home, with my family, changed my major to Education, took three semesters of Education classes and an internship, and then finally decided to follow my heart. This year, as a “fifth year” senior, I changed back to Communication, landed an editorial internship that I love , and will graduate in May. I’m still nervous about finding a job upon graduation, but right now I talk about these worries in my blog, and I just pray and hope for the best! Sorry for the novel…I’m just so glad that other people can relate!

This post really hits home for me. I’m a recent college grad with a well-paying job in corporate America. I like my job, and I get to work with fashion, but I don’t LOVE it. I think about changing careers to a more health and wellness field, but I am totally intimidated by the cost and risk. I would also feel like a failure and a little silly for leaving such a great job.

However I also need to give it a chance. I might not like my entry level position, but maybe I’ll love the next step. But can I really live my life thinking “maybe”?

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for this post, from the bottom of my heart! i graduated from college in december, and i am struggling to find a job. more than that, though, i am struggling to decide what kind of job i actually want!

thanks for pointing out that it’s not always a perfect transition from college to the real world.

Thank you so much for this post! Once I finished reading it a felt like a weight had been lifted off of my chest. Thoughts like these are constantly going through my head. I graduate at the end of this year and the thoughts just keep getting worse. Reading this has made me feel much better :)

Did you (or do you) struggle with choosing what to study in school? Do you feel pressure to figure out what it is you want to do for a career or finding a way to make it a reality? Did you grow up with parents who were happy with their careers? Have you ever made a career change?

Yes, when I came to university, I felt the pressure to stick to a certain “thing” I’d been told growing up, similar to yours– you didn’t enjoy your job. You just did it. I was, at that time, an education major, and after my first year of terrible anxiety and eating/sleeping problems– I realized that I needed to go for what I really wanted– which was to write, study journalism. I’ve always been really stubborn– so once I was going for it, I went all the way! I changed my major after the first journalism class session I had, and didn’t look back. Then I graduated from university last year, in May. I felt the identity crisis– I was forced to leave my two student jobs, return home for the summer, and when I came back for fall semester (my boyfriend was still in school) I left two different jobs, simply searching for what felt right. I agree, life is a constant learning experience.
But I was also raised with the belief of working hard– and I was set to pursue my happiness. I found, by chance, a job that I am now in love with– and honestly, it has to do with writing! I knew I went the right way, back when I felt so lost and confused.
Go for your dreams– that’s what I say. I love your inspirational quotes– they are so wonderful!

I trained from 16 yo onwards to be an Accountant.
Then at 32 I quit my own consulting business because I hated it, was so ill from stress and run down etc (kids were 2 and 5 then). Started going to church for the first time ever and discovered a true and vibrant Christian faith (unexpectedly) and now at 37 I am hoping to train to be an Anglican Minister/Priest. I decided that I could not let a 15 year old child decide my future anymore … I was only 15 when I decided to be an Accountant.
Who knows what tomorrow holds? I don’t … just trying to live each day as it comes, make plans but hold them loosely.
Early in Dec I was diagnosed with melanoma … had it cut out and some extra tests to see if it had spread. On 31st Dec it was confirmed that it was ALL CUT OUT successfully … which is great and it made me realise that there are no guarantees over how our lives will be … so I want to take inspiration from you to find ‘my glo’.
Thanks all the way from New Zealand.

Very inspiring post! I decided to take off my final semester of my undergraduate career to continue my recovery from an eating disorder, but it is also more than just the ED that I am recovering from. It is allowing various people in my life to control who and what I would be and when I would be it. It’s difficult to allow myself to be my own person; to realize that I’m 22 and even though when I was in the third grade I would have told you the exact university I wanted my undergrad and where I would go to get my MBA, yes, in the third grade, it is ok that I do not know who and what I will be. Hopefully now that I am seeing much more clearly than I was in the past, I will be able to love, accept, and adore myself for the woman and I am, and even more so, follow my heart wherever it may lead me.

I love your first two statements. I ignored the little voice that said that “this might not be right for me.” I ended up spending 5 years of my life pursueing a degree I had no interest in, ended up quitting before I graduated and then spent the next 5 years figuring things out. I finally went back to school at 27 and started all over again, but this time with so much more focus and studying something I loved. I finally have landed in the job I love at 38. I used to teach high school and I used to tell the kids all the time that it was OK to explore and try different things. I graduated at 17 and was making huge decisions about my future at 16–it’s crazy. And they still do it to kids–they stream them at 13 and that’s it. I really believe it’s OK to not know and then to change your mind. I’m a prime example!

Wow Angela what a great post! So insightful. I think the minute we STOP wanting to learn new things, academically or not, then we’ve lost something important. I hope I DO want to randomly change career one day – it’d be fun!

This post gives me the shivers because it’s spot on. I run a business with my husband and we’re good at it but we don’t love it. We love working together but the business we have chosen is draining us. We are driven by the fact we need to pay our bills but I often struggle to get up in the morning for another day in the office. We have an employee now so we have an over-riding feeling of responsibility that we can’t just ‘shut up shop’. Our business takes up so much of our time, I don’t even know what I want to do or perhaps I’m too frightened to let myself think about it because I know deep down, it’s not this.

I’m sure we’ll figure it out :-/

Thank you for writing this post. I’m currently working, contemplating grad school and struggling with the “what do you want to do with your life questions”. I think this post really reflects what a lot of people are feeling…

Angela, I just had to comment, if I were to choose my favourite blog to read (and I receive quite a few on my reader), it would (without competition) be yours, probably its because it comes “directly from your heart” more than anything else, and the lovely lovely recipes… :). I guess we never know how much we all have in common (in struggles and interests) until we start sharing… thank you for sharing your “glow”, it is a true inspiration!

Hi! I read your blog (a lot) but never comment. But I love this post!
I am 18 and started in med school in September. I worked myself to the bone for two years to get there and was convinced that this was my calling (at this point I conveniently ignored IBS related illness and an increasingly challenging fight with disordered eating.) Then in October I left. What I was most worried about was not whether I would regret leaving medicine (I definitely would not) but rather what everyone would think of me. I couldn’t explain that part of the reason was my low point in my ED or simply that I just didn’t love medicine like I thought I would. As the top student in my secondary school, why was I of all people dropping out?!
Cut to 4 months later and I am training for my singing teaching diploma whilst waiting out the months before I can go back and do my teaching training for music and french. My year off is allowing me the opportunity to teach literacy, tutor music and most importantly, kick this ED once and for all. I thoroughly believe now that your own happiness is the most important thing.
Thank you for being so inspiring with your blog! It truly is amazing :) *crazy fangirl speech over*

hwat a wonderful discussion your story has generated, ang! thanks — yet another time!! — for sharing so honestly.
i totally relate. i wen through five years of uni to graduate as a french teacher; taught for three years and it was just not “me.” getting out was the best thing i ever did.
i’ve worked at a running store now for almost 6 years and it IS me. i can tell my parents still “shake their heads” over this…but i’ve learned that this is MY life!!
i’m now 41…and some days DO think about going back to school. i so agree – it’s never to late to take a new path down life’s roads!!
thanks again for your wonderful post.

This post is really great! I have too struggled with this. For the longest time, I felt like I “had” to attend graduate school and it was the thing to do. After 3 weeks into my graduate school program, I made on of the biggest decisions of my life (thus far). I decided to stop attending and take a leap of faith. As I stopped going to school, I also lost my job (it was a grant funded job and I was only able to work if I was a grad student). This was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make.

But now, 5 months later. I am happier than ever. I found a job that I love, and career that makes me happy. What really made the difference was taking a little time to really think about what made me happy, and making the right choices start living not what I thought I had to do, but what I really wanted to do.

Angela,

What a great post! While my comments do not apply to YOU, nor do I assume them to be true about your readers, I unfortunately feel like a lot of people I know rest on the idea of “waiting for the right job”, “not being sure”, etc. instead of trying to find SOMETHING in today’s job market. I just graduated college a few years ago and although the economy is VERY hard (my dad was let go, my mom forced to pick up a ton of extra hours, etc) you CAN find something right now, even if it’s NOT the dream job. I think it’s very important to keep in mind what your end goal is, what your amazingly perfect dream job is, but I don’t think it’s worth sacrificing for in today’s day and age. Like you said, you can change your mind at ANY age so who says your current dream will be the same as tomorrows? I think finding balance is key — having a solid educational foundation to support you is key, as is having a solid and stable base of dependable income. If those are in place then I think people have the freedom to pursue something that may be a total life switch for them, but I think that a lot of younger kids (my peers, even me!) need to learn to suck it up from time to time (like our parents did…and do!) and make ends meet no matter what. I don’t know if any of what I’m writing makes sense, but I think the aim of it is that i think balance is key — education is never a bad decision — and one should be financially dependable enough to fund one’s own goal! Great topic <3

Hi Angela… Love your blogs (as always). Thanks for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

I am really struggling at this point with direction, and what “career path” to take that will help bring me happiness, as well as help and inspire others. I have a B.A. in Art/Graphic Design, but have found through a few flopped unsatisfying jobs in the last few years after graduation that I really DON’T want to do graphic design as a lifetime career. I love art, love design, love writing, love people, love kids, love healthy-eating, love fitness (recently! I lost 43 lbs in the past 8 months and have completely changed my lifestyle), but I find absolutely no satisfaction in working in advertising, marketing, or production. I’m completely lost now with this degree, and a market without many options. I don’t have the “experience” necessary to change my field, and don’t have the money to go BACK to school at this point and pursue something else.

I’ve quit a job I didn’t like, been laid-off from a job I thought had promise, and now settled with a job that pays the bills. I’m hoping that eventually, when the market improves slightly, I’ll be able to redirect my career and find some other means of happiness with what I DO each day, and still earn enough to pay off all my loans and live. :)

Thanks for being such an inspiration to me and so many others! You’re incredible!

I am feeling a lot of pressure right now from my college professors. I worked so hard at my undergraduate university to do well and impress them. They all wrote great recommendations letters for my graduate applications and now after spending all the time (and money!) applying I’m not sure if I will accept any offers I recieve. The ENTIRE time I was applying it didn’t feel right and I worry that whoever reads my personal statements will see right through me. I thought that grad school would be a way for me to explore my field more but I’ve have 1.5 years off from school so have been working full time in my field… and I’m miserable!! I hate writing reports all day being stuck at a desk and not interacting with anyone, I’ve been completely unproductive and not working to my full potential. And even after grad school my job would be the same I would just have more responsibilities. So now I have to block out what my professors want me to do or think I will be good at and pursue what I know I’m good and what I know will make me happy. I am already in the process of studying to become a certified fitness trainer, and I am planning on starting to take my pre-req courses this summer to become a registered dietician. I would love to open a health and fitness center with my husband (he trains in mixed martial arts) and use part of the profits to reach out the less fortunate in our community by offering free fitness classes and nutritional assessments. I just exploded with creativity and ideas when I thought about becoming an RD and it feels RIGHT. I was really depressed this last half year because I strugled with the “what do I want to do with my life” and I did feel like a failure because I wasn’t working to my potential but once I decided to change fields and follow my heart (and not my brain) a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I truely got my “glow” back. I have only just started this change but already it has done amazing things for how I view life everyday and makes me appreciate everything so much more.

A huge help in this transition was reading Po Brandson’s “What should I do with my life” it’s over 50 stories of people struggling with these same issues, it’s a great read I highly recommend it to everyone. It showed me that there are other people like me, with the same concerns, and that I could very well face this same dillema in another 10, 20, 30 years, and that’s ok!! As long as we are doing what we love at that moment! It is possible!

I don’t think any one really knows what they should do career wise at such a young age. I think that it’s based on trial and error. When I first started university at 18, I had no idea which career path to choose. It gave me a lot of anxiety. I changed my major twice that year, then I met my husband and moved overseas to Europe, so I didn’t have to worry about it anymore. The only program that was available in English was International Business, so I didn’t have any other choice. To make a long story short, we moved back stateside, and I still didn’t know what I wanted to do, not until I just blindly chose something. Like I said earlier, most people don’t really know what they want until they get a taste of what they like to do. I also think that in this economy, people are lucky to find any job. And in that case, I believe that it is beneficial to find something outside of your career that gives you personal fulfillment. Your job/career doesn’t have to be everything. Work to live, instead of live to work… that sort of thing.

I really wish people talked about this more. It took me nine months after graduating just to find a job that wasn’t working at a coffeeshop, and I questioned EVERYTHING about my life. I have a degree in journalism, but I realized 2 months before graduation that I loved writing, but hated journalism. I’m currently working as a technical writer…we’ll see where life takes me.

I really feel bad for my husband. All his life he’s planned to go to law school. But when an entire year went by after graduation and he still hadn’t applied, he finally confessed that the thought of law school made him want to throw up. And he was only going to apply because he felt like he had to, since he didn’t know what in the world he’d do with his degree in government. I don’t know what he’s going to do, but I told him he absolutely should not do something that inspired such DREAD. And seriously – he was the first person in his family ever to get a college degree. And instead of being proud of his accomplishments, he was mad at himself for not achieving even more.

I think there’s a huge disconnect with our generation. We’re told we can do anything, to follow our dreams, that we’re awesome. But then we graduate, and a lot of times, following our dreams doesn’t put food on the table. Then you’re stuck doing data entry, 9-5, wondering, “is this it?” And since you’ve always been told that you can do anything you put your mind to, obviously you just didn’t push yourself hard enough, and you suck. Cue depression!

I wish there was an easy solution! I think maybe being a bit more realistic with college and high school students about the job market would be a good start!

I am trying to figure out what I want to do right now. After high school I went into ems, because my mom mentioned it and I felt pressure to do something right away. I did my EMR and then my EMT-A. I worked for an ambulance service for about a year and hated it. I dreaded going to work and hearing the tones go off. I was very unhappy. I ended up moving and decided to do something else. I wanted to go to school, but the person I was with at the time didn’t think our relationship would last if I did. I should have realized right then and there that it wasn’t the right relationship for me, but I didn’t until over 3 years later and the last two we were engaged. Anyway I ended up doing my physical therapy assistant diploma through distance and working at the same time. It took me almost 4 years to complete, but I did it. I left my fiance in June and finished my diploma in December last year. I enjoy my job most of the time, but I don’t feel like it’s something I want to do for the rest of my life. I am not passionate about it. I was going to go to university to get my masters in physiotherapy, which would take six more years of school. I realized though I was doing this for the wrong reasons. I was doing it to make more money, but in the long run I don’t think that’s goingt o make me happy. I have decided to travel abroad for a year instead. It’s the perfect time in my life to do this. I am single, have no kids, no mortgage. I just need to pay off my car loan and save up. I have set a date to make this happen and am researching places I could go.

Wow, Angela – I think somehow, you just wrote my life story nearly up until now! I too, just kept going through school because it was “what I was supposed to do”. I was supposed to know what I wanted. I was supposed to know what kind of job to get afterwards. I was supposed to get good grades. I was supposed to know if I wanted to go to FOUR more years of law school or graduate school. Right?

I entered graduate school, went into a deep depression, didn’t leave bed for 4 days and ended up working on a thesis that I hated. I found a job and left graduate school behind. I didn’t un-enroll. I just walked out. The following years were tumultous to say the least. I sat for hours, checking data in my new work, sometimes going two days without speaking to a co-worker. Not being able to pay attention, I sought help to figure out if I had ADD or not. They medicated me, I was also on anti-anxiety drugs and I still wasn’t happy. Being new in the job, it took me longer to ‘get’ things and I got chastized for wasting company money. After making a couple mistakes (I don’t exaggerate here), I felt so horrible about myself I decided to give my notice. The day I planned to give notice, I was called into my boss’ office and laid off…2 hours before I was going to hand it in.

A sign? Definitely. The last 5 years since then have been so difficult, but I’ve finally discovered what I love – nutrition, health, healing and fitness. My fiance is so supportive of what *I* want to do…not what the building school loans dictate, not what my parents determine, b ut what makes ME happy.

You really did strike a chord with me today and I thank you for that Angela. Thanks for your honesty, your truth, your dedication to happiness and your smile. Thank you for sharing it with us day after day.

This is so great. Young women everywhere are so lucky to have you tell your story and encourage them to follow their dreams and don’t settle for anything less than happy. My father has never done what he studied in school, and I can tell every day he’s not doing what he is passionate about, he is disappointed with himself. My mom took a nearly 20-year break from fashion, went back and couldn’t be happier. It taught me no matter what, do what makes me happy because that is what makes a satisfying life. I moved 700 miles away from my comfort zone to a new country, and started something completely new from anything I had ever known… it was scary, but I couldn’t be happier I made the jump. Sometimes you just have to go for it!

I have absolutely been struggling with this, pretty much on a constant basis. I am a second semester senior in Advertising with a minor in Italian, but I don’t think I want to work in the Advertising industry. My parents both have been at their jobs since they graduated college and love them. My brother already knows he wants to go straight for his Phd in a field of Engineering and I don’t really know. Actually, I do know, but I sometimes have a hard time admitting it because it’s so far off from what I studied in college. I want to teach English abroad next year. I want adventure and something “off the beaten path”, but then my mind starts wandering to what I will do once that is done though because I can probably only afford a year or two of that. When I think of other future careers, somedays I want to be an event planner, other days I want to be a study abroad advisor and still other times I want to go back to school to be a Registered Dietician. Your post calmed me so much and I even sent it to some of my friends I know who are struggling with these decisions right now too. Thanks for always having a positive blog post & especially for this specific post!

I wish I had this to read when I was in college. It’s so easy to spend 4 years trying to do what you’re supposed to, forgetting that it is also important to find and follow your passion! But that’s what your late 20s/early 30s are for… right!? :)

Wow! 111 comments already. Talk about a hot topic. I am in the last few months of my MA in International and Intercultural Communication. This follows a BA in English and post-grad certificates in Publishing and Writing for Publication. School definitely feels like part of my identity. I already have a full-time job in communication, but it doesn’t really challenge, stimulate, or fulfill me. I can certainly relate to feeling like I have to “put in my time” at jobs I don’t love to get to some mysterious “dream job” down the road. But, I don’t think I’ll know what this dream job is until I find it. What this leads to is a lot of living for tomorrow and a constant feeling of being in transition. It isn’t healthy. But, a mortgage and student loans require a paycheque. Trying to find a balance, between today and tomorrow, that makes me happy is a process; one that I’m constantly working at. What I’m learning is that making myself a priority and taking care of myself–both mentally and physically–is critical in this process. There is certainly some comfort in knowing that I’m not the only one struggling to find balance. Thanks, Angela.

Angela, thank you for this post. Obviously it hits home with a lot of people, myself included. I am in the same position. I paid a TON of $ in loans to go to the best social work grad school, and am now stuck doing something I thought I would love, but actually really don’t, all so i can pay off my student loans. My job is ok, and I am grateful to have it, i just thought I would be more passionate about it. Turns out growing up and getting married changes those passions a lot.

I think our parents generation was all about working hard to get what you want when you want it. Our generation seems to be more about following your dreams. At least that is what I have seen. Thank you for this post. I know I will come back to it when I need encouragement.

I can’t even tell you how good the timing was for this post! My younger sister and I were just talking about this stuff last night. She is struggling with finding a way to make herself happy and part of that is finding the right job. I’m going to call her right now and tell her to read this post. It’s perfect ;-)

I really loved this post. Thank you!

I am knee deep in making a huge life change right now. I have a degree in English – Creative Writing, but for the last 3 years have been working as a Trademark Analyst for an online brand protection company. I took the job because I needed SOMETHING after graduation to pay the bills and make me feel like my degree had amounted to something successful. Thankfully, it turned out to be a decent fit – I guess you could say it was what I needed at the time. I always hoped though, to do something different – something more exciting than toiling away in my little cubicle all day! (Not that there’s anything wrong with that…..it’s just not for me!:) I felt trapped, limited by my skill set, and biggest of all……..AFRAID. Well, to cut to the chase, my husband and I decided this last year to walk straight into the fear and do something we’ve always dreamed of doing. We are moving to Maui. He is already there and I will join him in 5 weeks. I quit my job. Everybody keeps asking me what I am going to do when I get over there and I tell them all the same thing: I don’t know!! Truth is, I am going to do whatever I find that fulfills this dream of mine. Volunteer with the Pacific Whale Foundation, learn to garden in a tropical climate, maybe open my own gluten-free deli/bakery – and if I have to work at a coffee shop or a retail job in the meantime, then so be it. All of it is worth it because the dream is coming true. I am at a place in my life where everything on the outside (career, income, etc) looks unsure and risky. But on the inside, I have never been more sure. And it’s the weirdest thing – in two weeks I will no longer have a job. And yet, I feel really……successful. And I’ve never been happier.

Sorry for the long comment. But I just had to pipe in. I really loved this post and obviously felt like I could relate! :)

This really found me at the right time. I’m completing my last semester as an undergrad English Creative Writing major. All of my undergrad/high school years I proclaimed that I would be going to grad school. I didn’t know why or even particularly want to, but I always thought this was the key to success. I had so many mentors and friends suggest it. When it finally came down to applying, I went into a panic and decided not to apply…at least right away. I want to have time to figure out what I want out of it and if it’s really worth it.
I still have no idea what I want to do. Everyone always assumes I plan on teaching but it’s not my passion. Thanks for saying that it’s okay to not have it all figured out!

Wow. Thank you so much for this post. I’m pretty sure this is exactly what I needed to hear. I’m graduating in May (!!) and up until last semester planned on attending Physical Therapy grad school… but after countless observation hours and trying to convince myself it would make me happy, I realized I was just lying to myself. So now here I am a few months from graduation and my entire life plan is up in the air. It’s SO nerve wracking but I’m a firm believer in fate and deep down know I’ll find a job that makes me happy–it just might take me a while to get there.

LOVE this post Ange! I know we’ve had discussions about finding the right career etc but I always love talking about it. I had the benefit of my university’s co-op program so I had a chance to try out various roles within my field of study and decide it it was really what I wanted to do. Right now, I’m happy with my choice and really like my situation. Having said that, I think we always wish for bigger and better things, and I’d love to increase the role of health and fitness (and blogging of course) in my professional life. Not sure how to do it yet, but it’s always on my mind!

I know I’m in the right place, or heading there. I have doubts here and there, but mostly I think it’s not being int he wrong program, it’s being in school that’s suffocating. I don’t know what I’m going to do when I finish. I mostly know I’m sick to death of school and ready to get out there and work and see what works for me. I may not be happy right now, but I’m hopeful. I KNOW without a doubt I’ll be in a job/career I love. I don’t know just when or how, but I know I will.

Thank you for sharing all this. I am 21 (started college at 17) and am about to graduate in a couple months. I started crying while reading your post (I guess I am even more stressed than I thought I was). I needed to hear someone say all this.

Thank you.

Thanks for posting this Angela. I feel tied to my job because of the time and money I’ve sunk into it (I’m a lawyer) but I JUST HATE IT. I fantasize every day about the many things I’d perhaps rather be doing (personal chef, teaching yoga, clinical psychology) and every day the “perhaps”, combined with my foolish calculations of return on investment, keep me from doing anything about it. 2011 is the year for me to take steps (even if baby ones) toward doing things that fulfill me and taking steps away from things that drain all of my time and energy (i.e., my job . . . where I sit, currently). I am confident that it is possible to call my goals foolish and ungrateful. But I’m going to prospectively choose not to call them those things.

Angela, I’m a longtime reader but I don’t believe I’ve ever commented. However, I need to tell you that when reading this post, tears were streaming down my face. One year ago, this was ME. I was so unhappy and unfulfilled. I was 23 and felt like I had already failed at life, and it was just day after day of misery until retirement. Literally, that’s what I was looking forward to, at 23!! Thanks to hard work and some divine intervention, I’m finally at a place where I’m not completely happy, but I know I’m well on my way to getting there. And that’s made all the difference. Thank you so much for sharing this story with us. I have it bookmarked in G-Reader to come back to every so often.

Beautifully written post Angela! I can completely relate to everything you said, especially because I am currently making a career change! I quit my job in communications earlier this month to go back to school full-time to become a holistic nutritionist. It’s been three weeks, and I couldn’t be happier (Sidenote: there are ladies in my class who are in their 40s and 50s – stay-at-home moms and women who’ve been working in another field for 20+ years).
Like you, I was 18 when I started university (I went to Wilfrid Laurier) and after my first semester, I was already changing my major from economics to arts. When I graduated with a degree in communications, I had no clue what I wanted to do with it (and was pretty sure no one would hire me) so I decided to do a post-grad in public relations. I barely knew what it was before I was applying. All I knew was that it involved writing, which I loved. I liked the program, but after a year or so in my first job, I knew it wasn’t really making me happy. But I didn’t know what else would, until I found blogging, cooking and running. Now my life seems to just make sense. I love that no matter where we are in life or what we’ve done, we can always make a choice to do something different. :)

This was sub an amazing post, thank you! I feel like I had such similar experiences when it came to figuring out my career. I graduated with a degree in psychology and immediately went to work in research. I hated what I was doing. I would fantasize about getting into car accidents on the way to work just so I wouldn’t have to go in. It was awful, and yet I applied for PhDs because I couldn’t see where else I’d go. I went to all the interviews, was accepted and when it came down to making my choice, I couldn’t decide. I realized I didn’t want to go to any of the schools I was accepted to; I didn’t want to do a PhD at all. It was terrifying, but I turned them all down, and made a list of what I really wanted from my life and career. 2 years later, and I am in graduate school for Physical Therapy. And I love it and am happy every day!

To anyone who is considering a career change and is unhappy, all I can say is it’s soooo much better on this side! You could not pay me to go back to that career path, and being happy in your career is the best thing you can do for your health, your eating, your self esteem, your relationship, your friendships, etc etc. I just wish everyone who is thinking about it luck and encouragement, and Angela thanks for the amazing and inspirational posts!! You have been a massive inspiration in my life for the past year.

Great post! I have changed my career path many times over the year and last year I left the fitness world to study PR. Now I am looking for ways to combine my love for health and use my communications skills. You are right: it is a tough market out there. I have been job searching for a while and it gets frustrating, but I am trying to stay positive and keep moving :)