Are You Kinder To Yourself As You Age?


Top of the mornin’ to ya!

The other night when I made the Coconut Red Lentil Soup, I reserved 1/3 cup of the coconut milk so I could use it in my Vegan Overnight Oats. I love coconut milk because it is basically like a vegan form of cream. It makes anything it touches rich and creamy tasting.

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I tried light coconut milk instead of the usual regular full-fat stuff I usually buy. I wanted to compare the two and see how different they were. The light version was more watery, but I had high hopes that it would still be fabulous in my VOO. It has 35 calories for 1/4 cup vs. 140 calories per 1/4 cup in the non-light stuff. A good alternative when you want to use a larger quantity of it, however I still think I prefer the regular coconut milk for soups, stews, etc.

I also added another exciting ingredient to this mix

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Carob powder = love.

Carob facts:

  • 1 tbsp has around 20 calories and 2 grams of fibre
  • Up to 8% protein
  • Vitamins A, B, B2, B3 and D
  • High in calcium, phosphorus, potassium and magnesium
  • Contains Iron, manganese, barium, copper and nickel


[Canadians- you can purchase carob powder at Bulk Barn!]

The key to mixing the VOO is to use a whisk! Makes the wet + dry blend so much faster and gets the clumps out.

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Carob Banana Soft Serve Vegan Overnight Oats

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  • 1/3 cup regular oats
  • 1/3 cup light coconut milk
  • 1/3 cup + 1/4 cup almond milk
  • 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1 tbsp Amazing Grass Amazing Meal Chocolate Protein Powder
  • 1 tbsp carob powder
  • 1 tbsp chia seeds


Directions: Mix dry ingredients together and then pour wet ingredients over top. Whisk and place in fridge overnight. In the morning, make the banana soft serve in the food processor. Layer in a small glass and use any topping that tickles your fancy!

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I like cacao nibs because they give it a nice crunch.

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Ahhhhh-mazing. I really liked the carob in this mix!!

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My mother in law is here today and she saw it and exclaimed, ‘WOW what is that!? :biggrin: I told her about the vegan overnight oats, and I don’t think she was sold.

Are you kinder to yourself as you age?

“I think most of us become nicer as we get older, less judgmental, less full of certitude; life tends to knock a few corners of us as we go through. Cancer, divorce, teenagers, and other plagues make us give up on expecting ourselves – or life – to be perfect, which is a real relief.” ~Molly Ivins, writer

I have found that as I get older I realize that perfection is not only something that is not attainable, but it isn’t even something I want in my life anymore. I am learning to embrace the non-perfect aspects of my life. Beating my eating disorder was a huge part in allowing myself to mess up and take risks…to fail…to go against what others expected of me…and to realize that my life would be much happier if I did not expect perfection.

When we lost our family friend Chris to cancer (who was the same age as Eric), it made me realize how precious life is and how much I had been taking each day for granted. I vowed to create happiness in my life, no matter how difficult it might be. I will be turning 27 on Sunday, and I can say that I look forward to each year and discovering a bit more about myself and the world around me.

Today’s question- Do you find that you are easier on yourself now as compared to 5 years ago? have you had any life experiences that have taught you to be better to yourself?

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{ 82 comments… read them below or add one }

Beth @ Beth's Journey to Thin May 12, 2010

To be honest, I think I’m actually harder on myself now that I used to be, but I’m working on it. I was in such a state of denial about my health and my body and because I was young felt I was invisible and that eventually I’d get it all under control. Years passed and I let my weight get so out of control and I was just miserable, but I just accepted that I was destined to be fat because my father was heavy as were his parents. Then, I decided to change my life over a year ago and have gotten very close to a healthy weight by shedding over 50 pounds, have run in 6 races, and am really active. But, because I’m focusing more now on my health and paying attention to my body, I think I am more critical than I was when I was in the state of denial.


Samantha Angela @ Bikini Birthday May 12, 2010

I think I’m harder on myself now too, about how I look, how I act, and how I choose to live my life day to day.
I know that perfection is unattainable but I subconsciously push myself to be a little better tomorrow than I am today. I think this can actually be really motivational as long as I stay positive about it. I’d rather be a bit tough on myself than to throw my hands in the air and say “I’m good enough”.

Life should be about progress.


Kate May 12, 2010

I’m definitely a lot easier on myself at 27 than when I was even 24!!! I no longer strive to be perfect because I finally told myself that I don’t want to have the body of such-n-such celebrity. I want to be unique, I AM unique. Life is too short and if I want to have a couple more glasses of red wine, or the most decadent dessert ever, or skip three days of working out just to sleep in, I’m going to do it! :) I’ve wasted too many years being unhappy and I’m not going to do that anymore. Each day is precious and I’ve learned to take it as it comes and be grateful for the wonderful people I have in my life. :)


Tracey @ I'm Not Superhuman May 12, 2010

I wish. But really I think I’m just as hard on myself as ever. My laid-back husband has mellowed me out a little, but I’m still very hard on myself. Maybe I just need more age.


Jaya May 12, 2010

Angela, this was a short post, but so beautiful. Gorgeous photos and wonderful message. I am definitely gentler on myself and with that comes a more exciting life – I totally agree! I’ve definitely learned that discipline doesn’t mean being hard on yourself, it means gently pushing yourself toward or away from whatever your body needs. Sometimes, that means partaking in beautiful dessert, or not partaking in beautiful dessert! It just depends on what the moment requires.
It’s so empowering to reclaim your voice.


Jessica @ The Process of Healing May 12, 2010

For sure! A combination of my past eating disorder, my current stress fracture, being on crutches and not being able to walk or work or go to school… all of that taught me that life. is. precious. And too short! It’s SILLY to go through life not really living, you know? Risks are scary, yes, but sometimes the scariest things are the things that are the most worth it!


Jessica @ How Sweet May 12, 2010

I definitely am! I was very hard on myself growing up. I’ve learned to live a little more!


Kathleen May 12, 2010

Being as I turn 41 today, it is a good question, I think in ways I am and in ways I am not. I acept the things I can’t change but am harder on the things I can.


Daniel May 12, 2010

I’m much harder on myself now than I ever was. I’m slowly overcoming many of my food anxieties, but there’s still such an emphasis on perfection. I think I need to fall, I need to fail at something to see that there’s more to life than getting straight A’s or eating “perfect” foods in a “perfect” diet 100% of the time. But I am learning to loosen up and I’m glad I’m on a healthy road to recovering from my ED. :)


Kara @ Kara's Marathon May 12, 2010

Whenever I do something good for myself, or make progress towards my goals, I have this lingering voice in my head that says, “why didn’t you do that earlier??” and it is beyond frustrating. I think part of the problem is that I’m 26 and still have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life, and that frustration with where I am vs. where I want to be permeates into the rest of my life.

I’m sure I’m going to wind up on a career path I previously considered (a Ph.D. in clinical psychology is still something I toss around in my head), so as soon as I make the choice that voice will pop up again to annoy me. So yes, to answer your question I am still as hard on myself as I’ve always been :(


Amy@ the adventures of a ginger grad student May 12, 2010

I’ll need to look out for that carob powder next time I’m at the bulk barn! Do you know where it is in the store? I’ve never noticed it before and I definitely go there at least once a week!


Angela (Oh She Glows) May 12, 2010

I *think* it is near the cocoa powder!?


Andrea (Sweet N Green) May 12, 2010

Ohhh my goodness. I can’t wait to try this! I love that glass too, fancy ;)


Therese May 12, 2010

Thank you for the Bulk Barn tip! I need to make a good trip this weekend methinks! LOVE the Bulk Barn!

Am I easier on myself now than I was 5 years ago? I almost responded “Oh yes!” but then I got to thinking about it, I think I am to a certain extent. 5 years ago I wouldn’t take ANY risks for fear of failure, to the point that I pretty much didn’t do anything at all. Now I take risks, I try things out and take opportunities when I can get them. Instead of expecting myself to be an all-perfect female, I’m edging towards doing what *I* want, even deciding against going for my Masters degree. 5 years ago I thought I was a failure for not living up to what I felt were society’s expectations of a 25 year old. Now, I create my own expectations and roll with it. I’m MUCH happier now!


Jenny May 12, 2010

I love how you present your food- it looks so fancy, like you’re staying in a hotel!


Lindsay @ The Ketchup Diaries May 12, 2010

Definitely! I just turned 27 and am so much happier with myself than I was at 22. I have come to realize that I am not willing to sacrifice life’s little indulgences for the “perfect” body. I realize how strong and awesome I am :smile: That’s enough for me! I don’t need to look like the cover of Fitness Magazine!


Shannon May 12, 2010

Absolutely! At almost 29 and having experienced recent family tragedy, my focus has definitely shifted on just enjoying each day and not beating myself up about anything. I have setbacks, as does anyone who has a history of an ED but I find myself improving every year, and try to make sure to acknowledge my own progress. I think it’s so important to give ourselves little pats on the back when we make positive change.


Tina May 12, 2010

I’m 37 and I’ve never been happier. I think you gain perspective over the years. I’m more laid back recently and I am taking more chances, I think. For example, I started a blog & I really enjoy it. And quite awhile back, I stopped caring what other people think. I do what makes me (& my family) happy. I guess it all just comes with age. I’m really enjoying my 30′s even though I’m nearing the end and actually am looking forward to 40!


Ameena May 12, 2010

I am definitely easier on myself as I get older. I am 34 and I look back at my late 20′s and wonder why I cared so much about silly things that didn’t matter. I drove myself crazy getting to the gym at 5am every day before work. I am much better about things like exercise and eating carbs, although I could definitely still improve!


Michelle @ Give Me the Almond Butter May 12, 2010

I don’t know how you made overnight oats even better, but you definitely sold me on these!


Stacey@ May 12, 2010

I feel as I age I take better care of myself, feel better about myself, and am happier with myself. In turn I can enjoy life more and be more content with who I am and where I am in my life. I feel the best about myself and my life then I ever have. I too have had a lot of body issues wiht myself and it’s taken 10 years to move past those issues.


Heather (Heather's Dish) May 12, 2010

i am certainly much kinder to myself than i was 5 years ago…but i think a lot of that has to do with the fact that i don’t have the time or energy to be mean to me anymore. i don’t know if that makes sense, but 5 years ago i would punish myself daily with grueling workouts (think 4 hours at the college rec center EVERY DAY) and then go home and binge. i hardly have a full hour to workout anymore, and even less time to binge…thank GOD!


Courtney (Pancakes & Postcards) May 12, 2010

My birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, and as I enter the mid twenties (24) I feel myself looking at life a bit differently. I am still young, but I am at such a different place than I was through each of my last five years. Yet from here on out, it kind of feels like the rest of my life, my real life, is starting. There are a lot of insecurities that come with that and I am just trying to be the best friend to myself that I can be.


Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg May 12, 2010

I do find that I’m easier on myself as I get older. It just seems much less important to be the perfect weight, to wear the perfect close, or to be the perfect girl, and much more important to focus on happiness and staying in the moment.


Jenn @ LiveWellFitNow May 12, 2010

I am most certainly a better person to myself these days. :) My new words to live by for myself:

Balance, nourishment, energy, compassion, understanding.


Camille May 12, 2010

I’m only 20 and I am much easier on myself than I was even 3 years ago.
My Boyfriend and I were just talking last night about how we stopped doing some of the things we enjoyed doing in high school because they weren’t considered “cool”. Now, we both realize it doesn’t matter if we are cool (we are admittedly, not) because we are happy :)


Katherine May 12, 2010

Having turned 40 last year I have finally come to a point where I just don’t sweat the small stuff as much anymore. There just isn’t the need to stress over things that you have no control of, what can you do? I have also really started getting in tune with my health. I cut out meat, working on running a 5k AND walking SIXTY miles in three days for the 3-Day For The Cure this November! So far being 40 isn’t as bad as I thought it would be. :)


Angela (Oh She Glows) May 12, 2010



Sarah for Real May 12, 2010

Oh yes, much easier on myself now than 5 years ago. I think this comes from maturity and just plain old experience.

I think a lot of it for us 20-somethings has to do with gaining confidence as a grown woman.


Erin (Travel, Eat, Repeat) May 12, 2010

The more I learn about living healthfully, the happier I am and the better I treat myself. I’ve learned to accept myself, flaws and all, and be comfortable in my own skin.


Emmanuelle May 12, 2010

Funny, my first impulse when I read your question was “yes! I am definitely easier on myself!”, but then I read the comments and Therese’s answer hit home with me. Just like her, yes and no, and exactly for the same reasons. I take more risks now than 10 even 5 years ago (easy, I was not the one to take risks, failure was not an option so why risk failing?), try new things, am sloooowly changing my whole life, but I know that if I fail, at least I am trying. I know what I want, I know myself better, and I listen to my inner voice :-)


Kara May 12, 2010

I think I am kinder to myself. I make sure to learn from my mistakes and most importantly forgive myself.


Lauren May 12, 2010

I’m only 20 years old, so OF COURSE I’m easier on myself now that I was 5 years ago. What 15 year old is self-confident? However, I still do tend to beat myself up a bit, and I’m hoping that I’ll be even better in 5 more years!


Katalina @ GreenLivingNewYork May 12, 2010

Hi Angela, your new design is amazing and your photo is so beautiful, well you are making it beautiful! I;ve been following your blog for more than a year, and I am a big fan of Adore glow bar! holly yum!!!! Yesterday I have created my blog, and today I have published my first post! a Green Monster for breakfast!! I am a certified nutritionist, hope you will stop by and with time will find interesting vegan and vegetarian recipes that I will publish also gourmet meals for Eric!! have a nice day! And don’t work to hard!!! Get out from your bakery and enjoy a relaxing walk!! :) see you later!


Astrid May 12, 2010

One thing I have gained in the last 5 years is a huge amount of compassion. Everything I have gone through has helped me to relate to other people’s struggles. I am a better listener and a great advice giver because of it. I am a bit nicer to myself, but there are times when I get frustrated that I am not perfect. I even try to be perfect at being imperfect, which really defeats the point of embracing all of me! I used to think that if something wasn’t perfect, it wasn’t worth it. If I wasn’t really good at something, I wouldn’t do it. And if I didn’t have something brilliant to say, I wouldn’t say it. Now I know that I am not a perfect girlfriend, daughter, teaching assistant, blogger, cook, painter, or friend. But that doesn’t mean I will quit any of those roles!


Jane May 12, 2010

I have to disagree. I’m in my 40′s and there is a great pressure to look younger than I am. In this age of botox, plastic surgery, microdermabrasion, teeth whitening, not to mention having tight abs and low body weight, it is hard not put pressure on yourself to look your best. It is great that there are so many options for self improvement but when is enough enough???

Happy Birthday Angela….I look you new heading ? of your blog….what a beautiful pix of you…you are GLOWING…I don’t know you accept via the blog that I have been following faithfully for the last 2 months….seeing your new heading gives me a great sense of “WOW” you did it. Way to Go!


Angela (Oh She Glows) May 12, 2010

That is a really good point Jane. There is so much pressure for women of all ages in different forms I guess. It is a shame, but that doesn’t mean we have to buy into it!


Ilana May 12, 2010

This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately! I mentor several high school students, and they all tend towards this very fatalistic view of life and of themselves. I *know* I was like that when I was sixteen too – I wanted to punish myself for everything I did wrong. When I heard on eof my sixteen year olds talk about wanting to “punish” herself for procrastinating on a paper, I had to ask her if that made any sense. She said it didn’t really, but I understand that in that moment, it felt to her like the logical next step because she had messed up and didn’t know how to deal with it. I once was like that, too. Now I’m a lot more careful with myself – no one else is going to take care of me if I don’t take care of myself.


Allison May 12, 2010

What is your obsession with chia seeds?! I want to try them, but can’t find them at my grocery store… can you give us a post, or a quick blurb about all the benefits of them? i’m so curious about them!! I wanna start doing some overnight oats with them. THANKS :)


Marina May 12, 2010

Wow, your breakfasts always amaze me!
I love carob, I could try this tomorrow…


Katherine May 12, 2010

I am still hard on myself with some things, but I am trying to get better each day. I am a new runner, and the other day I beat my personal distance record (for an outdoor run). I ran 2.75 hilly miles and it was really hard. When I was finished, I was happy, but then slightly disappointed for not pushing myself for 3.00 miles. I fought the voice in my head, and was able to be proud of myself for giving it my all and sticking to my training plan.

ps– how do you get the overnight oats out of the very bottom of that glass? is it as narrow as it looks? they look so delicious that i think i would try to stretch my tongue all the way down there to get every last drop haha :)


Angela (Oh She Glows) May 12, 2010

hehe The banana soft serve melts and travels down the glass. Its fun :)


Amber K May 12, 2010

I feel that in some ways I am easier on myself and in others I am harder. But I should definitely be treating myself better, today! Today is my birthday, so I am now older anyway. =)

How do you eat the oats out of that skinny cup? Once you get down to the bottom how does the spoon reach? I’m really going to have to try it one of these days.


Angela (Oh She Glows) May 12, 2010

I had to tip the glass like a drink so the last bit of the banana soft serves trickles out!


Lisa May 12, 2010

I wish I was kinder to myself. I beat myself up for stupid things. My BF says I am too hard on myself and he’s right. I wish I could learn the skill to let things go.


jenny (Green Food Diaries) May 12, 2010

i AM easier on myself in some ways since i was a teenager (16 years old)… i view things less pessimistically, i know that there will be happiness for me no matter what i’m going through right now. at 16 all i was a big cynic. since then i’ve had to go through depression, eating disorders, and now a myriad of health issues i currently deal with, not to mention doctor after doctor!… i also experienced my first relationship and break-up. man, i’ve been through a lot the last five years! i feel so much older than i really am.


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