Do Your Friends Keep Tabs On Your Weight?

150 comments

Happy Olympics!  yawhooo!

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Sketchie had a long, hard week! ;)

Amazing response to the Glo Bar coupons yesterday- I added more and those went too. I know many of you missed out on the coupon, so I added a few more this morning if you want another shot! Coupon code is VDAYGLOBAR and the cart is here.

Now onto breakfast…which was delicious oatmeal!

Quick and Easy Chia Banana Kiwi Oatmeal

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Ingredients:

  • 1 cup almond milk
  • 1/2 cup water
  • 1/2 cup regular oats
  • 1 T chia seeds
  • 1/2 T cashew butter
  • 1 t pure vanilla extract
  • pinch sea salt
  • 1 ripe banana cut into chunks

Directions: Throw all ingredients into a pot and stir on high until it boils. Reduce to low temp and whip like crazy. Pour into a dish and add your desired toppings.

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I enjoyed every bite!

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Do Your Friends Keep Tabs On Your Weight?

The other day I was talking to a girlfriend of mine. Kara (not her real name) is upset because one of her friends makes constant comments about her weight.

I’m going to talk a bit about Kara’s situation (she gave me permission to talk about it on the blog):

Kara’s friend always asks her questions about her weight such as how much she weighs. Her friend also makes comments when they go out to eat such as ‘You are getting dessert? I thought you were a healthy eater?’ or even criticizing her for ordering a salad and soup telling her she needs to ‘stop eating like a bird’.

Kara feels very self-conscious about these comments and she isn’t quite sure what to do about it. She said that she feels like her friend is keeping tabs on her weight and is always watching and monitoring whether she is working out, eating healthy or unhealthy, or losing or gaining weight.

Kara said, ‘I am starting to feel obsessed with my weight because I have these hawk eyes on me all the time.’ 

In a way, I almost feel like I am being scrutinized like a celebrity, even though I know that what I am going through is nothing like a celebrity! I just feel like I am always being watched…and if I slip up or gain a few pounds this person is secretly happy or is going to make a comment about it. I feel like she is always waiting for me to do something wrong so she feels better about herself .’

Have you ever been in a similar situation as Kara?

Do you have friends who keep tabs on your weight or make comments about what you eat/how much you workout and turn it into a competition?

What do you do about it?

There will likely be a Part 2 of this topic as I want to add my own thoughts but this post is already a bit lengthy. :)

~~

Coming up on OSG a dramatic before and after of a room in our house!!!!

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{ 26 comments… read them below or add one }

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Punzie January 31, 2017

Hi
My friends at school are always watching me and making comments about my weight saying I’m “anorexically skinny” let me make one thing clear. I am not anorexic. I have always been leaning towards skinny since I got sick as a baby. It’s sad when friends make a joke of it, support kara, it’s likely that she needs a proper friend right now instead of this other ‘fri
end’

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Teesha June 28, 2013

That is weird… one of my friends does the exact same thing to me!! Not only about what I eat and my weight, but about other things too. It’s honestly the worst feeling having a friend do that do you. Maybe try confronting her about it, or don’t be friends with her. You don’t need to take that from someone!

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anonymous February 15, 2010

I find that when people criticize others, it’s often the insecurities they feel about themselves. It’s the same concept as put downs. You don’t make someone feel bad when you feel so good. You make someone feel bad when you feel bad about yourself so in a sense you are elevating yourself and “making” yourself feel better.

This is such an important fact to realize so I know when things happen to me it’s no personal but rather an effect of something else.

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Kristilyn (My 29th Year) February 14, 2010

I’ve never really had a friend that critiques my weight, but I do have a lady I work with that always has to comment on what I eat. If we have donuts come in for a birthday, she’ll immediately say that I won’t have one because I’m on a diet. Or she comments that my Green Monsters look disgusting (all the time!). Or, if I’m eating something like a black bean brownie (which looks totally decadent), she’ll be like, “You’re eating a brownie? How many calories is that?” and then be totally turned off when I say it’s made with black beans.

It can get really annoying.

I’m happy about my relationship with my husband because he’ll actually try anything I make, no matter how weird or how utterly healthy it looks. I love it! And if I have a dinner of tofu with lots of veggies, he doesn’t say anything about me being too healthy, and if I have a dinner of spaghetti and meatballs with a side of garlic bread, he doesn’t say anything about me veering away from my diet.

I think some people don’t realize that it’s not a diet, but a lifestyle change – I’m allowed to have a brownie, or a donut, or carbs carbs carbs once in a while. If I feel like I’m deprived all the time, it’s not really living, right?

K

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alison February 13, 2010

great post–very thought-provoking. my friends have commented if i look good (which is usually when i’m at my skinniest.) my parents/fam sometimes say when i look too thin but other than that, no. i’ve never had a bf or anyone make a comment like that.

when I know that i’ve gained weight though, subconsciously i wonder if people are thinking ‘she’s gained weight’ but aren’t telling me. even if it’s not even that much, but i feel different, i sometimes worry if people are thinking it.

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Beeskneeslife February 13, 2010

This has happened to me throughout my life. Most recently from a co-worker who would comment on my lunches and how “skinny” I was all the time. I eat healthy and workout, and I got the sense she felt guilty about not being able to make good choices when it came to avoiding fast food and exercising like I was – not that it mattered one bit to me what she did! A family member also has to comment on everyone’s weight. Everytime I see her she says something about my husband and I and how “fit” we are. I have been the same size give or take a few pounds since we first met, and my husband is exactly the same as when I first met him! I just try to change the subject with her because it can make me uncomfortable sometimes, but she always finds a way to keep talking about weight(hers, mine, and others), working out, and food with me. It’s frustrating, but I take comfort in the fact that I am more secure with these issues then her at a much younger age.

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Laura February 13, 2010

I really think (not all of you great bloggers!) people should be careful when they talk about other people’s weight- and what right do we have to be so personal and hurtful? It sounds corny, but there are enough bad things going on in the world- Haiti, kidnappings, losing our troops in Afghanistan, than to generate more pain ourselves. Do people not know how lucky we are to be so comfortable as to actually have time and energy to do this to our friends rather than hoping the harvests won’t fail? Also, you never, never know what is going on with someone- they may put on weight because of clinical depression or an underactive thyroid, or be struggling with losing weight because of as yet undiagnosed Celiac (as I was), or Crohn’s disease, or even cancer. Also, we aren’t necessarily eating ‘salads’ and such and exercising to control weight, just maybe we might be doing it to give us a longer and healthier life, or reduce our stress levels. Theres an old fashioned word that seems to have gone by the wayside- respect! Just a couple of thoughts- bloggers you are a refuge from all the nastiness out there!

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Amie February 13, 2010

Kara’s friend seems kind-of not nice. :( I have a couple of girlfriends that I talk about weight with. But not really judging, just checking up. We are all concerned about our weight/health, so it becomes a natural thing to talk about…how our eating is going, how we are doing with workouts, etc..and we’ll share advice if someone asks. Its like a support system :) Totally non-judging.

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jaclyn February 13, 2010

This is a very interesting topic. Generally people don’t comment but some of my friends have commented, when my weight got too low, out of concern. I think generally, though, comments like the ones your friend was receiving are a reflection of the commentor’s own insecurities that she had been eating badly/didn’t like her own body, etc. People focus on others’ to deflect what is going on with themselves!

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DJ February 12, 2010

Hey, I rarely comment, that doesn’t mean I don’t love your site LOL… but this topic is familiar to me… 1st, y suffered from an eating disorder when I was 15 through 16… and after I recovered and my last two years of high school, one of my good friends was just how you describe Kara’s friend… all day and night figuring out what I was eating, how much, how much i gained or lost… we used to do diets together and exercise together but later I got so fed up with it. At the end, I ended up not being such good friends with her anymore because I noticed that she was like this especially in this aspect of my life, but she also speculated all my life as well. She liked to gossip and that’s why I ended up having a fight with her one day. Ultimately I decided it was healthier for me to stay away from her for a bit. I felt monitored all the time and it can drive you crazy.

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RobynW February 12, 2010

I’m a freshman in college and instead if gaining weight like my friends I have lost weight from running daily. I get a lot of comments on my size and I feel like I’m put in the role of the “healthy skinny girl” a lot. My friends will sometimes mimic what I eat or ask me to list for them what I eat in a day. It’s strange because I don’t like discussing weight much, but it’s sort of forced on me and I do feel watched sometime. I feel like I have a healthy relationship with fitness and food, but my friend’s obsessions can make it hard to maintain a normal perspective.

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Katie February 12, 2010

I have a friend who is like that. Every time we go out she always has something to say either about what I’m eating or something about the gym. What drives me the most crazy is that it’s like she is talking down to me. It’s very annoying and unfortunely I have had to stop spending as much time with her because she can be a very negative influence.

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Brittney February 12, 2010

Thankfully I don’t really have any friends who keep up with my weight and such. At least not to my knowledge ;) I live at home with my parents so sometimes my mom will make comments. She asks a lot if I plan on working out and the other night I had a big serving of Fritos (which are thankfully never really in the house because those are like crack for me) and she said “Well, that’s not very healthy.” It kind of gets on my nerves but I just let it roll off my back.

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eileen February 12, 2010

I noticed in your picture that your kiwi has the skin on it. Do you always eat the skin?

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Michal February 12, 2010

Ugh that makes me so mad I could just spit. Your friend Kara (or whatever her real name may be) should not feel any pressure what so ever, because it sounds like your other friend has insecurties. I find it funny how people wont comment when someone is overweight or overeating, but if your eating healthful foods its fair game.

Geese.

Oh and yummy oatmeal! :)

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MareBare February 12, 2010

I can’t stand friends like that! I wouldn’t even call that a friend- clearly a frienemy! I used to have a friend that was not only critical about the way I looked but also took pleasure when bad things happened to me- which always made me feel worse. After years of this weird friendship I finally opened my eyes and decided she wasn’t a healthy friend for me and I would be better off without her. I know it sounds cruel but some people are just toxic and if they can’t learn to love themselves they will hate you to make them feel better. I say give her an ultimatum- either she is supportive of your healthy lifestyle or hits the road jack!

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Jennifer February 12, 2010

I typically don’t keep “friends” like that around for very long.

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Meghan@traveleatlove February 12, 2010

People ALWAYS make comments on how much I eat. I am a grazer and truly need to eat about every hour. Usually healthy things like apples, almonds, carrot sticks, yogurt. But nevertheless I get “You’re eating AGAIN?” I would never comment on someone’s eating habits like that!

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alison February 13, 2010

i eat mini meals throughout the day to keep my energy up and feel like i get those comments too!

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Gillian February 12, 2010

I was recently asked several times in one week how much I weighted and it made me really uncomfortable. My grandparents often comment on different family member’s weight without realizing they’re being offensive and I find it a sensitive issue.

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Heather @ Side of Sneakers February 12, 2010

Yes my friends keep tabs on my weight! It’s horrible!! I think it has something to do with that horrible innate need females seem to have to compete with other females. I don’t understand why my weight affects anybody but me. I understand a heartfelt comment if somebody is endangering their health, but on a day to day basis? Get over it! If I eat something healthy they say something about how I don’t eat and I should eat more, and if I eat a ton or something unhealthy I usually get a rude comment about what I ‘must go do later.’ If only everyone could support each other :( I just ignore it tho- I take care of my body the way I want to!

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Melissa S. February 12, 2010

I see that more often than I would like to confess. I think Kara’s friend has some issues she needs to deal with, but can’t find the correct way to talk about it/discuss it.

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Jil February 12, 2010

I have a friend who always says that she is gonna get so fat when she visits me…like I eat like crap or something. It’s just the fact that I eat healthfully — therefore I can eat more!! haha I know she doesn’t mean it as an insult to me — it’s more that she is insecure with her own weight — but still geeesh.

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Mariam February 12, 2010

Hey
I don’t comment on here much..but i follow (every day!!) . I love your topics ..theyre so meaningful ..This really hit the spot I have a aunt who i stay with almost every weekend who does this exact same thing! its come to the point that I make excuses not to go to her place..Its just that as someone with a ED ..thats not what you need.
Its scary how women and often boys must deal with critics ..all the same while trying to be a strong and succesful person.

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Lisa February 12, 2010

One more thought:
“Hurt people, Hurt People”
Kara’s friend is clearly hurting about her weight…

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Lisa February 12, 2010

I do not have any friends who comment negatively about my weight.If anything they say I’m skinny…they’re kind ;)
My Mother constantly does though. She’ll walk passed me and say hmm you look like you’ve gained weight, or that shirt shows all terrible things on you; Those types of comments. But My BMI is 19.9….and she’s overweight so I really don’t care what she says ;)

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