Hands down, one of the most asked questions I’ve received since I announced my pregnancy last March is whether we will raise our daughter a vegan. It’s something that Eric and I discussed long before getting pregnant, but we revisited the topic again when I did get pregnant. I’ve been clear in the past that our household is not a vegan household – Eric doesn’t follow a vegan diet, although a lot of his meals are vegan because he loves the food that I make (yup, tooting my own horn! hah). He now enjoys hundreds of foods he wouldn’t even touch when we first started dating and it’s been incredible to see his diet transform over the years from deep fried fast food to vibrant veggie-filled home-cooked meals. From eating a huge bowl of frosted flakes cereal to a huge green smoothie every morning, the change has been huge. So even though he’s become more conscious about selecting organic meat from local farms whenever possible and eschewing a large amount of dairy from his diet, he has no plans of going vegan. I support him completely; after all, he was never vegan before we met and he is happy and healthy which is what matters.
Many people have assumed that we would raise Adriana on a vegan diet, but we’ve actually decided not to label her diet in any shape or form. This is for a couple reasons. First, I want her to be able to try any food that she wants to, including the food her dad and family members eat in front of her. Second, I want her to decide for herself when she is older whether she will attach any sort of label to her diet. I have personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labeling my own diet, and I don’t want to put my beliefs on her or assume that my diet is the best diet for her. That being said, we eat so many plant-based meals in this house I have no doubt that her diet will be filled with vegetables, fruit, legumes, beans, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and healthy fats! We are very grateful for the food we have access to and above all, I’d like to instill this sense of gratitude in her and also an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc. We are incredibly lucky that we even have the privilege of discussing this topic. But would we stop her from enjoying some of her dad’s chicken or a birthday cake at a friend’s party or a home-cooked meal at Mimi’s or Babcia’s house? No we won’t (assuming she doesn’t have an allergy down the road, of course).
I know that deciding what to feed one’s family is a very personal topic, but I want to be open about it as I have with my own dietary changes in the past. Obviously, there is no right or wrong answer to this question. Vegan households can work really well if that is the goal (and I know many friends who are currently rocking it!), but this is what we’ve decided is right for us.
I’d love to hear from you about this topic. Have you ever struggled with the decision as to whether to label your child’s diet? Do you live in a household with different diets or allergies? How do you find a balance?
PS – Adriana turned 6 months on Saturday! We celebrated by giving her her first solid food – avocado. I haven’t laughed so much in a long time. It was seriously awesome. I also re-read her birth story and cried a little. More on this feeding thing later.
xo
Comments are now closed – May 20/15
I think your decision’s PERFECT! I know that feeding little Adriana plants galore (especially YOUR recipes) will result in her loving plants and considering mom’s vegan lentil loaf her favorite comfort food that she requests when home from college instead of meatloaf! :-) I’m also in love and living with someone of the opposite diet! [I wrote a whole blog post about that works!!: http://bit.ly/dateoppositediet] While at first I thought that being a “mixed couple” would be problematic, I’ve found that by leading by example, I can inspire him to eat healthier without an ounce of nagging – his love for meat and dairy has virtually vanished over the years (and has been replaced with a love for green smoothies and tempeh!).
xoxoxo
https://www.facebook.com/GrumpyOldVegan/photos/a.621220164656561.1073741828.330189007093013/687642794680964/?type=1
I was raised Vegetarian because my parents were vegetarians and that is what they cooked and what they knew. Once I learned what it meant to be a vegetarian I was thrilled, I loved animals and felt proud knowing I was protecting them. My parents decided to feed me food aligned with their beliefs until I was old enough to decide for myself. They never denied me of any food, and aside from a piece of pepperoni I was inclined to eat (which I couldn’t tell apart from the soy alternative), I was tempted to eat meat. Sure there were pesky kids along the way who just didn’t understand or felt guilty because they too wanted to help animals, but I am so glad my parents raised me with the knowledge and freedom they did. I am 18 now and have been vegan for two years and live at home, I cant tell you the last time I saw milk in the fridge. It is a personal and sensitive topic often grounded in culture, all you can do is be honest about why you choose to eat what you do, and no matter what your child will be grateful. After all, mothers cooking is always the best cooking.
PS. I got my mom your cookbook for mothers day! (It was really a gift for the both of us)
*never tempted to eat meat
We take a very similar attitude with our daughters, me and my husband went vegan a year ago so obviously all we cook and eat at home is vegan (your book has been a godsend in that by the way – so thanks!). However when the girls go to party’s etc they will occasionally have dairy / eggs / non vegan sweets and if they were insistent they wanted to try meat when we were at relatives houses etc I would let them, but I tend to find they prefer to stick to the foods that are more familiar to them anyway.
My eldest at 3 years old is just starting to understand a bit more now and ask if things are vegan etc, and make her own decision on if she wants to eat them or not. We are pretty honest with her in an age appropriate way that meat is made from animals, dairy taken from cows etc. but we think it’s really important to live consensually and never want them to feel restricted by us and rebel, so we are pretty chilled about it when out etc and as they get older I’m sure they’ll do their own experimenting / researching etc and do what think is best for them :)
Good luck with the weaning, this is where the fun / mess really starts :D
I think it’s great that you’re gonna let Adriana choose for herself!. I’m vegetarian transitioning to vegan and have two month old twin boys. I plan on raising them vegan because to me it would be the healthiest thing for them, but if at some point when they’re older they decide to stop, I will support them 100%. Tmi, but I don’t produce enough milk (like maybe an ounce a day) so my babies have to be on formula. I’ve noticed that the formula doesn’t sit very well with their stomach, so I don’t think they tolerate it well (they don’t seem to have a problem with my milk). I guess it’s just another reason for me to raise them vegan.
This is the first comment I have made on anyone’s blog, but I was so impressed by your thoughtful, mature and loving report about your plans for your daughter’s diet that I had to tell you. I am sorry you have experience hateful comments about your decision–what a shame. I commend you for your decision and heartily agree with it.
Let me also tell you that I frequently visit your website, love your food and have purchased your first cookbook for myself and my daughter and am planning on purchasing your second one. Your avocado spaghetti is a much loved staple at my table
After reading everyone’s comments, I would like to offer this response: it is not right to suggest that anyone who does not choose a vegan life for themselves and their family is lacking in compassion towards animals or the earth. It makes it sound like vegans have no empathy for those who choose another way. There are many reasons that people eat as they do. Lead by example not by words.
When you have a child, your priority becomes doing what’s best for the child’s health and that means sometimes letting go of your own choices. Angela, I appreciate your focus on great nutrition and a balanced approach to life and to raising your daughter. And I commend you for putting you and your family’s needs first and not feeling pressured by opinionated people (all kinds). One thing I’e noticed from trying to eat healthier is how defensie people become (i.e your too healthy/you’re not healthy enough/oh your one of those moms…etc…) Just keep doing what you’re doing, because you are doing it fabulously!
New to your website…gotta say this post is actually what made me feel like exploring it further. I have been curious about reducing my meat intake but found the “all or none” approach way too intimidating on many sites.
Your honesty and openness is so refreshing. Having watched my older sister struggle with disordered eating for years, I’m so glad that you’re not going to label your daughter’s diet for her. I cannot stress how inspirational I find your healthy attitude to food (and the journey it took to get you there).
Thank you for encouraging young women everywhere :)
First off, most of the comments here are awesome and encouraging. But wow, there are also a lot of judgy people commenting on this. It’s fantastic to care about animals and how they are treated (we need much more of that in the world), but if you aren’t even kind to other humans, or even likable, then what’s the use? Don’t you think there is bigger tofu to fry? Also, let’s not forget the environmental impact from the cultivation of many plants for food (e.g., water demands for chickpeas, lentils and asparagus, or the whole quinoa debate). Vegans don’t have the monopoly on ethical eating. But I am willing to bet that most people here try their best to eat in ways that are kinder to ourselves, animals and the planet. Can we please celebrate that instead of judging people who don’t live up to our standards?
I am really disappointed at this post, just because your husband is omni why should that matter? Your husband is a grown adult that know where is meat comes from, even if it’s organic, cage-free or whatever it is, it’s still the dead flesh of another animal who wanted to live. I don’t understand why people say that if you’re a vegan raising your child vegan then you’re imposing your choices on this child, but if you’re an omni everyone just assumes you’re doing the right thing. This is ludicrous! You say you want her to try different foods but she doesn’t have the ability or conscious understanding where her food comes
From and the suffering that it implies, that’s why parents make choices for their children, including diet wise and values, then when they get old and have the full understanding they can choose for themselfs. But to say she needs to try different foods and decide on her own is ridiculous, given her age.
I don’t understand why a vegan would raise a child to eat meat and animals,
Doesn’t make sense.
I do agree, by raising your child to eat omni or meat you are imposing as well and just as much as raising your child vegan. Only way out would be to not feed a child and see what they do to sustain life! lol probably not too ethical hey ;)
Exactly, shes being a horrible mother and person.
This comment thread just goes to show that there is no place on the internet that is safe from angry/crazy people. Extremism is dangerous in all forms.
I love the the new foods I’m introduced to through this blog and I think Angela seems like a wonderful mom. I hope that when I’m a mom some day, that I will have the ability to provide as much lovingly prepared meals as Angela provides her family.
I’ve been a vegetarian for over 10 years and I’m constantly asked whether or not I’ll be raising my two kids that way!
apolloandluna.com
I really, truly, hope all you vegans are pro-life…otherwise you’re the world’s biggest hypocrites. I also find it amazing that you (the holier than thou vgns…not the kind ones) tout compassion when you have none for humans unless they believe just like you. Yes, teach your children to be little jerks who worship animals and hate the murderers who eat them. I’m sure they’ll do a lot of good reaching out to others to save animals.
Angela, I am impressed with your healthy and balanced decision. It’s also a great decision to make in order to be respectful of your husband and not just steamroll him with your beliefs. I was a vgn for year (yes, a real one….PETA and all that jazz). Now I eat mostly veg, love vgn foods, and the only vegetarian in my house is my five year old, who is well on his was to veganism as he is very passionate about animals. I am supportive and standing up for his rights to not eat gelatin or rennet or any other hidden meat crap, but I am also teaching him true compassion. For all life. Not animals as superior. As a christian I do not believe animals are equal to us in anyway…and the nonbeliever who quoted the bible as a means for Christians to be veg needs to study a bit more. That said, abusing animals is wrong. I would just differ with a lot of you on what constitutes as abuse.
Anyway, thanks for being real.
I dont have compassion for humans that think killing animals is ok. Those humans are worse than anything.
Angela, I hope that these comments do not discourage you from continuing your baby shares. I love them and look forward to them and have a daughter a few weeks older than yours. I also appreciate your honesty and feel that it does a lot to make all of us healthier. I am not vegan, but have eaten much more plant-based since following your blog. We all have to live our lives the way we see fit and have no right to ridicule and judge others. You have made a huge, positive difference in MANY people’s lives and that’s what matters!
We are a vegan family. Our children eat vegan. They were breast fed for three years. One is still nursing. The hardest part is my family understanding our plant based diet. They don’t understand we have made a healthier choice for our children. And birthday parties that serve awful pizza and store cake! My child has cried because she feels left out. Only recently have her true friends been kind and considerate enough to buy a vegan cupcake or cookies for her and her brother. She is only seven and has always been vegan. It is also very hard traveling and feeding your children plant based meals. Your decision sounds like a great one based on our experience. I wish you all the best.
I am Vegan mostly because of animal cruelty issues and only somewhat due to health. I personally do not condone taking the life away from an animal big or small and so would not personally feed my child anything but vegan food. However, the bf eats meat and so if he were to cook meals and feed her, I would just ask that the meat/dairy/eggs at least come from “humane” sources. (Quotations around humane because the animal ends up dead in the end which I consider not humane but at least from a source where they were able to live their shortened life not only pain and suffering free but also with joy). I would also expect that other family members respect that and feed the child only vegan or else “humane” meals. I would quite honestly be upset if my child were to start eating meat and give no regard or care as to where the meat came from such as a factory farm.
I read this right when you posted it, and it really got me thinking about WHY we label ourselves. It’s such an odd thing to do, and really unnecessary. You are inspiring people to try new things whether part of a plant based diet or just a supplemental meal, thats amazing and does more for the “vegan movement” then spreading negativity, blame and judgment. Who would want to be a part of that?
Loving your book. Please consult with a doctor, kids need animal fats in some quantity for their brain development. Vegetarians get animal fats, vegan do not and some children have gotten irreparable damage.
Lies. All lies. You clearly know nothing. Animal fats arent needed at all. Just fats are. Avocados are one of many options of HEALTHY fats.
There are plenty of fats in a vegan diet: avocado, nuts, seeds, coconuts and coconut oil, olives and olive oil, and other oils. If you go to:
veganhealth dot org/articles/realveganchildren, you’ll see examples of many children who have been raised vegan since birth and are thriving. There are no problems with brain development in any of these children.
Dr. Richard Oppenlander, author of Comfortably Unaware, has raised his three children as vegan from birth and they are all healthy adults.
If a child is not fed enough calories, whether omnivore or plant based diet, there will be serious health issues.
The only nutrient vegans need to supplement is B12. All other nutrients are found in adequate amounts in a plant based diet.