"The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life." -Jessica Hische
Aside from delicious vegan food, there isn’t a topic I enjoy discussing more than career happiness. It’s something I’m deeply passionate about and thrilled when I can throw ideas around with other people.
I could talk about it until I’m blue in the face. But, I guess that is pretty evident below.
Keep in mind, I really have no idea what I’m doing most days and I’m not here to give you advice on your unique academic or career situation. I can offer insight from my own experiences and lessons learned along the way. My goal for this post is to create a place for discussion so everyone can join in and offer their input, stories, and insight. That’s when the magic happens!
My story in short:
I graduated in October 2006 with a BAH degree in Psychology and minor in Family and Child Studies. In October 2008, I graduated with a Master’s Degree w/ Honours in Social Psychology. Prior to graduating, I interviewed for a full-time research position during Spring 2008. It was offered to me and I took it even though my gut told me that the timing wasn’t right. I was already a full-time grad student and part-time teaching assistant which kept me very busy.
But I took the job anyways even though every instinct I had was saying DON’T DO IT.
Lesson #1: Listen to your gut.
Eric and I were also planning our wedding to be held on Aug. 31, 2008. Stress was at an all-time high as I juggled courses, my thesis, a new demanding job, and wedding planning. My eating disorder got bad during this time and I often starved myself or over-exercised to deal with my emotions.
In October 2008, I was happy to be graduating, but I still wasn’t enjoying my career as a researcher like I thought I should be. While the money flowed, it didn’t matter.
On October 31, 2008 I started Oh She Glows as a hobby in an effort to add some joy back into my life.
Oh, and joy it brought!
This blog was in essence, ‘the work I did while I procrastinated’, as the opening quote mentions above. I blogged at breakfast, during my lunch break, and after dinner, for months. It was a lot of work, but looking back, it was the best positive escape I could’ve had to get me through that time.
This blog gave me the courage to pursue my passions full-time so I planned my actual escape and in early 2009, I quit.
It was the scariest, yet best thing I could have done.
Below are some of your career change questions that you posed on facebook last week.
How did you find your passion?
1. Get rid of life toxins
Until I was about 24-25 years old, my hobbies were calorie counting, the scale, and exercising. I didn’t have any real hobbies aside from playing sports throughout school and if you asked me what my passions were I would have stared at you blankly. To find my passions, I had to get rid of life toxins that weighed me down. Once I entered recovery for my eating disorder, I was able to add positivity back into my life such as finding new hobbies and activities. We need to get rid of things weighing us down to make room for inspiration, creativity, and authenticity.
2. Give yourself Me Time
It’s easy to say ‘I don’t have time right now’, but this is when it’s especially important to take time out for yourself. I gave myself permission to do things I enjoyed whether it be hanging out with friends, baking, reading, or spending time with Eric. Even if it was only 30 minutes a day, it was my time to do what I wanted and slowly discover activities that I enjoyed. ‘Me time’ allows us to figure out what it is that makes us happy.
3. Allow creativity to flow
Shortly after graduating, I started my blog which turned out to be the real gateway to discovering my passions. What better creative outlet than having a blank slate each day to write whatever inspires me? As a creative person, I consider my blog a virtual vision board. I can write about whatever I want which was a stark contrast to my role as a researcher. Overtime, I discovered that I had tapped into a huge passion in my life. (Another creative outlet I love is Pinterest). If there’s a voice inside you that suggests you try something out, give it a shot because it could be your hidden passion!
4. Look to your childhood
Look back to your childhood and ask yourself what activities you enjoyed. The passions we have as children are clues to what we might enjoy as adults.
As a child I loved:
- Playing house and school with all kinds of characters, names, and story-telling
- Playing with Barbie’s & Lego and creating stories about the ‘people’
- Polaroid, disposable, and film cameras !!!
- Writing Fiction stories
- Drawing, painting, crafting
- Baking & easy-bake ovens
- Playing with friends and animals
- The outdoors, playing outside for hours, skipping, building snow forts
- Track & Field, softball
My passions today seem to have the same underlying characteristics, albeit through different forms and expressions!
How did you know that your career was the right choice long-term?
Nothing in life is a sure bet, but my instincts told me I was on the right path. Sometimes hope, a good feeling, and a positive outlook are the only things we have. If I told myself I couldn’t do it, I would probably still be at my old job. Oh She Glows started out as a hobby while I did my ‘real work’. It turned out that I not only enjoyed blogging, but I fell in love with it. The blog and bakery brought together my passions like inspirational writing, healthy food, cooking/baking, fitness, and helping others.
When I couldn’t imagine myself not doing it, I knew I had found something special. It’s sort of like knowing you’ve met the person you want to spend your life with. I knew Eric was the one for me because I couldn’t imagine us apart. I felt the same way with my new career.
How did you deal with a severe pay cut?
Not getting a regular pay check in the bank every two weeks was difficult to deal with. I struggled with an identity-crisis (who was I now that I didn’t have a full-time job and steady income?) and insecurity (what would others think of me?). I had to make financial cutbacks in every aspect of my life. I only spent money on essentials like food and bills. I didn’t spend money on entertainment, eating out, clothing, or anything that I didn’t think was a necessity at the time. I got used to the cutbacks after a couple months and many of my money-saving habits stuck with me.
Do you think you would have taken that leap if it was just you taking care of you? I admire what you do and would give a kidney to be in your shoes, but just don’t feel that it’s possible for me. I’m not pessimistic–I am proud and satisfied with what I’ve done–but I’m realistic.
I would’ve left my research position eventually, but probably not as quickly had I been single. I saved consistently for almost a year before I left my research position so I could cover my share of the bills for the first while, but if I was single I probably would’ve stayed in the field for another 2-3 years so I could save up enough to feel stable financially. I knew in my heart that I wasn’t meant to be a researcher so I would’ve done what was necessary to change my career path even if it wasn’t as soon as I wanted. I’m a firm believer that planning and preparation is crucial if you are serious about making a career change. If you think it will never happen, you are probably right.
How did you take the leap with a career change?
Quitting my job was not an impulsive decision even though it may seem that way. It was a calculated decision that I planned for months before actually quitting. I flip flopped back and forth all the time, but ultimately, I knew in my heart that I had to go through with it. The day that I quit was not planned though. It just happened to be a really bad day that fueled my fire. :)
How do I know what my strengths are?
Growing up, I never really considered myself good at much. In my late teens, when I was trying to figure out what career I would enjoy, I asked Eric what I was good at because I had no clue. If you are lost about your own strengths, ask your family members or your partner. Most people can identify strengths in other people much easier than they can in themselves. Also, think about things that you do well. Are you an expert Sudoku player? Maybe you have a strength in problem solving. Are you great at knitting? Maybe you have a strong attention to detail and lots of patience. Do you love making lists and hosting parties? Maybe you have strengths in event planning. Do you love to bake? Maybe you have a sweet tooth like me. heheh…
Oddly enough, I went to see a Career Counselor during my first year of university because I was having doubts about my career path. After answering a battery of tests, I was told that I was suited for a creative field, such as teaching, writing, culinary arts, fashion design, or photography. A test could detect my strengths when I couldn’t detect them in myself. I highly recommend seeing a Career Counselor if you can.
I want to change careers, but my fear of other family members judging me is paralyzing. How did you get over worrying about what others thought?
This was my biggest hurdle of all. I think most of us care deeply about what our loved ones think, whether we like to admit it or not. I had so much anxiety to tell my friends and family that I quit. It almost kept me from quitting at all.
Ultimately, I realized that I couldn’t live my life for other people. We lost a friend suddenly to cancer in 2008 and it really made me change the way I live my life. I stopped beating myself up and worrying about what others thought. I don’t know how long my life will be, but I do know that I’m now living it authentically rather than putting off happiness for another day.
I would love to hear how it felt to walk away from a career you had invested so much time and money in!
The day I quit was a mix of negative and positive emotions. I felt shame, guilt, relief, anxiety, happiness, worry…you name it (see my I Quit post).
Do I regret the 7 years I spent in university? Not a chance. I now know what will make me happy in a career and what won’t. I may have figured it out the hard way, but I’m happy I did at all. An education is invaluable, even if not used in the traditional way that its intended (is it ever these days?). I still feel like I’m fulfilling my goal of helping other people (which is what drew me to psychology), but perhaps not in the way I initially imagined. The twists and turns of life are often the greatest.
How do you deal with isolation when making the change even though you know it’s an unhealthy career for you?
Losing contact with my coworkers was very isolating, especially during the first few months when I was feeling a gamut of negative emotions and questioning my path in life. In the workplace, coworkers are great for venting about problems, forming friendships, and leaning on when you need some support or advice. When I quit my job, I was on my own during workday hours. No one could figure it out but me and that was really scary.
Whether you are having a baby, moving, or taking on another big adjustment, surrounding yourself with supportive people helps so much. I talked to Eric, close family, friends, and on the blog. My mom always tells me that there is no greater joy than knowing your child is happy. If you can wake up each day and feel happy about where you’re going, you’re already a success.
“It isn’t necessary to know exactly how your ideal life will look; you only have to know what feels better and what feels worse…Begin making choices based on what makes you feel freer and happier, rather than on how you think an ideal life should look. It’s the process of feeling our way toward happiness, not the realization of the Platonic ideal, that creates our best lives.” ~Martha Beck
What she said. :)
~~
For a recap of how I changed careers and my full story, check out my ‘A Year Can Change A Lot’ Series:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, and Part 10 (1 year later)
Great post! I can relate to this a lot. Thanks for the inspiration!
I love this post. It motivates me to remain open and keep telling people about my passions. One day the perfect opportunity will present itself and I hope to have the guts that you do to make a move and take advantage of open windows.
Taking that leap of faith is so scary… I hope to take it someday with the *right* planning in. Your story was great to read!
I am so glad I’m not alone in feeling the ways you felt when you left. Particularly “who are you” if you don’t have a “real” job in other people’s eyes. It’s scary to leave your job, I left mine of 12 years but in addition to the immense stress and hostile work environment it had become, I saw the writing on the wall. I knew the same time next year our branch wouldn’t exist. Some people followed me out and other waited for 6 months…when they fired them all.
Good for you for following your heart!
Thank you so much, Angela, for taking the time to answer these questions. I am at a turning point right now in my career and while I haven’t planned well enough yet to quit, I know it might be in the horizon for me. When I was struggling, I spent an entire evening reading your career change posts and they inspired and uplifted me. Just when I thought that I had no one to relate to, there your posts were…words that felt like they could have come from me as well. I didn’t quit my job after reading them, but I did make a plan. I made a plan to save money, to find happiness in the little things each day instead of saying “Oh, I’ll be happy when I finally can quit”…and so far its working. I work my 8+ hour a day and then I put them behind me, finding other things that make me happy. I try to separate work and personal life and know that my job doesn’t define me, it’s those things I do after work and on the weekends that are truly me, so I’ve embraced those.
Again, thank you for your openness. It has helped me tremendously.
I’m so happy to hear that Maria :)
Yeahh it’s interesting to see how so so many people don’t realize that they have made their identity WHAT they do and what kind of career they have, etc. It’s so cool that money-saving bits have stuck with you! I need to learn more of that I think haha.
What an encouraging post! I love your story, it’s so inspiring. I feel like it’s SO important to enjoy what you do over anything else. So many people stick with a job they don’t like because it’s making them good money or they think they’re just not “supposed” to enjoy their job. SO not true, and I’m so glad you confronted this. :)
You are very brave and inspiring! Not many people will really take the chance to do what they love, especially in these tough times. I admire your decision, I know it couldn’t have been easy, and I am grateful that you are here at Oh She Glows now!
I’m grateful for you Shelley :)
This is such an inspirational post! I think it’s very sweet and brave at the same time that you post about this. I love that you did what felt best, even though it meant cutting back on things like clothes etc. It is nice and comforting to know that there ARE people who are doing what they want to do, and aren’t becoming poor of it ;)
Hey Ang! Thank you for this post!
I especially love this portion of Martha Beck’s quote: “It isn’t necessary to know exactly how your ideal life will look; you only have to know what feels better and what feels worse.”
I can’t even begin to count how many times I’ve told myself that I don’t know where to start, or what the right path is for my life. But being able to say what feels better and what feels worse?- totally! Now that sounds like a starting place! I knew in my heart that my last job was sucking the life out of me, and even though I finally got out, it was hard to make that leap. Why don’t we trust our instincts more?! I had mornings when I’d wake up with finger nail dents on my palms (from clenching my fists in my sleep.) That’s not healthy. I was such an anxious ball of stress, and everyone that loved me knew I wasn’t happy. I think for a long time, I didn’t quit, because I didn’t know where to go. I interviewed for a few jobs, and they just felt wrong. I do think it is so important to pay attention to how we feel walking away from an interview. Did I like the people? Did I feel like there was positive energy in the air? Did I feel like people responded to me well, and would treat me with respect? If the answer is no, or if you have any nagging doubts, it’s probably not the right fit.
As we go through our career-finding journeys, I think it’s important to know that sometimes it doesn’t happen all at once. Sometimes you have to jump from cobblestone to cobblestone, each time taking a leap of faith, believing that it is going to get better. Maybe I don’t love my current cobblestone, but it sure as hell is a million times better than the one I just jumped off of! Finding the right job, the right fit, takes effort and time. I wish it would just take one big jump, but it takes a series of jumps. I hope that as long as I keep my happiness in sight, I’ll keep having the courage to leap. :)
That is such a great analogy Bethany! I love the idea of stepping stones. :) And also, not to see failures but ask ‘what’s next’ instead as a reader earlier mentioned.
This post is great! I really needed to read something like this before heading back to university this fall :) thanks, and I am glad you found your passion! It shows with ever post!
I love this post– and back in August of last year, I made a similar decision. I had just graduated from college and since I was a student employee, I lost my job since I wasn’t a student anymore, and hadn’t gotten into graduate school. So I took a job in one of the coffee shops on campus. During the training for that job, I began to feel my anxiety coming back full-force. I eventually called my dad one Sunday morning and he told me that I probably wasn’t on the right path for me, and that I should quit. I quit that day, and never looked back. A month later, I took a job at Walmart, and while working there, the job I have now I interviewed for and received. In November, I felt that I could make ends meet with just one job instead of two, and went forward with the job I have now, which has me working at home. It’s led to me discovering a passion for baking/blogging and writing, as well. I finally feel like I’m heading somewhere I need to be– that I finally found happiness with what I want to do. It was scarier than hell, but I did it– and I’ve never regretted it:)
Yes, yes, yes on all accounts! :)
I know for sure that I’m in the career I want to be in, but I’ve definitely taken an unconventional route. I had a full-time job with benefits and it was in the right career….but the wrong agency. I was miserable, wishing every morning that I could call in sick. I left security and went to Kenya for several months where I volunteered at an orphanage, climbed Mt. Kenya, blew all my money and found my spirit again. I’m headed back to school this fall for my Masters in Social Work and I’m excited to see how I can marry my love of Africa, nutrition (did nutrition school this year too lol) and social work.
Thanks, Ang, for being honest not only about the joys of following your heart but also the struggles.
xo
Angela,
I don’t usually comment but I just wanted to thank you for your inspirational and contemplative posts. You have really influenced and shifted the way I see the world in following your blog the past three years. You are a wonderful, strong woman. I’m so happy you have found your passions and what you love.
Thank you so much Kensy, that means so much to me. =) All the best!
This post is so inspirational. I feel as though I am at a turning point in my career, and this was just what I needed to read. Thank you!
Great post. You have seem really lovely thoughts on life. Thanks for sharing them.
Following your journey has given me the encouragement I needed to reexamine my path. I requested a six month leave of absence and have a big adventure planned. I don’t know what will happen when the six months are up but I now feel like I have permission to dream big.
xo
Amazing post!
I have just quit my job of three years to pursue a Master’s in Counselling Psychology. A very big change!
Like you my decision seemed spontaneous to outsiders but has been very well calculated.
Thanks for the inspiration!
This post was so inspirational for me!
Last year my husband and I quit our full time jobs, moved to another state and started new careers! Financially, it was a scary move – we were really broke for awhile and still kind of are! BUT, you are so right – you get used to the cutbacks and I actually think I have learned a lot of about what I really do need and what I don’t.
It took me awhile to get in the swing of things, but everything is starting to fall into place and I am so glad we made the move! It’s so important to follow your passion!
Angela — thank you for continuing to write about this topic of finding your passion. . . following your dream. . . dealing with career choices. I am intrigued by the concept of “following your gut” — something most of us are discouraged from doing, because we aren’t being sufficiently objective. Discernment isn’t something most of us are really trained in growing up. I’ve gotten better over time, but still find it hard to understand what I’m feeling/why I’m feeling it “deep down” at my core — and then how to act on that. Throw in major life changes, and it gets harder. But this is so encouraging to read. To remember that you can still follow your instincts and dreams EVEN IF it’s hard!