On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
I recently started reading your blog and I love that it keeps reminding me of one thing: I should love who I am! I also started blogging because I need a peaceful outlet for the inner “me” that seems to be missing a lot from my outside life. And what I’m learning? Stop comparing myself to other people! I am me the way I am and the way I will be, not someone else.
Happy 2nd Birthday! You know a blog is truly something when it makes it this far ;)
My passion for food is what finally prompted me to start my own blog and I have grown to love the person cooking has made me become. All my friends have come to know me as ‘the girl who could talk about food for hours’ and sharing my concoctions has to be one of the greatest feelings ever.
Love your blog! You are one of two I’ve been reading for about a year. You are wise beyond your years.
Congrats! This blog is so awesome, I have been drinking green monsters and reading about your interests and recipies daily. I have recently gone dairy free, and this has been so helpful for me. Just made your twix or treat tonight, as usually I would pig out on candy as we hand them out, but no dairy means no chocolate! Anyways, wow did they ever hit the craving!
i love my sense of humor and ability to laugh at whatever comes my way! happy 2nd birthday OSG and angela!!!
Happy 2nd B-day OSG! My passion involves motivating others to achieve their potential…through it I have realized exactly how much I am capable of.
Happy 2nd Anniversary! I love coming to your blog and finding heartwarming stories as well as delicious recipes. I love that I have taught myself how to cook and eat heathy.
Happy Birthday OSG!
When I was a kid, I always visualized that I would be a certain kind of person when I would grow up (and by that I probably mean when I would turn 21 or something). The person I always imagined was so healthy, happy, fit, surrounded by so much love, so much happiness. She was complete.
Even though I’m only 23, I realize that despite having gone through some serious ups and downs in my life both physically and mentally, I pretty much am/have become that person I always wanted to be when I was 6 years old. Through my food, exercise, and emotional choices, I’ve accomplished so much more than I thought I could! So in short, always be true to yourself :) You don’t want to disappoint that little girl you used to be who had big dreams for herself!
Happy Birthday, OSG. You have inspired me in writing, cooking, and most recently running! In turn, I have earned so much more self-respect in the past months and I’m a much happier and fulfilled person because of this. Thank you!
I love to travel and cook- I think about food all the time. I’ve learned to channel my love of food into healthy cooking, but the relationship with myself is constantly evolving and progressing as every day goes on- It’s a relationship for life!
With a give-away like this, it’s almost impossible to not comment!:)
I never commented before, but read your blog daily and had tried and enjoyed many of your recipes. I love your glow – both inner and outter, keep it up and Happy Birthday OSG!
I’m beginning to love my body. Like you, I can to this late. I’m training for a half marathon now, and with every long run my body is impressing me with how strong it is!
Hi Angela! I cant express enough how much I appreciate your willingness to share your story, from your past history to your current thoughts. You are an inspiration to me, in many ways. Sure, you’re food and cooking abilities are remarkable, but what truly impresses me is your apparent peace of mind. It shows through tremendously through your blog, unlike other blogs, and for this I am eternally hooked. On a personal note, I feel that I am going through a mental struggle right now, trying to figure out who I am as an individual. (I am almost 23, working as an email marketer for a software company…and I’m just not happy). My anxiety about everything is increasing dramatically…sometimes I feel for no apparent reason. I stress about the future, about conveying a perfect image, and always striving to be the best. I have always been this way in every aspect of my life…school, food, dance (my passion…or at least it was), appearance, etc. I feel like I have gotten lost in the perfection and can’t seem to find happiness. I don’t want life to just tick by while I try to be perfect and worry about every detail of my life, because I feel like there is so much the world has to offer that I am missing out on. I want to learn to appreciate other things. If you have any suggestions, or guidance at all, I would appreciate your words more than you know. Thanks! Good luck with your future endeavors and congratulations on your blog!
I would LOVE to be entered. I think you are such a unique and fantastic woman. You inspire others to be greater than they are and that is a gift. My self-love came when I realized I was more than a body. I have a soul and a spirit and a radiant personality that is able to bring blessings and smiles to those around me :) Life is good.
Happy birthday, OSG. And what a present to be on the homepage of Food Buzz today! I went to look and there your beautiful, smiling face was.
I’m fairly new to your blog, but I look forward to your posts with great anticipation. Just like the green monsters, it has become part of each and every day. And, by the way, I made that chili tonight and it was a huge hit. Added a red pepper along with the green and took it a little easier on the chili powder. Deee-lish!
I’m passionate about my 2.5 year old. He’s an awesome kid and it’s so great to see him learn something new every day. I’m also looking forward to a change in my career in the next year that will let me write more for myself and less for clients. Which isn’t all that fun, I’m come to learn. :)
Keep up the positive everything.
Happy Blog Birthday!! I was injured last year but though Yoga I am really starting to be able to appreciate what I am able to do now as opposed to being upset with what I’m not able to do anymore. I love reading your blog and getting new recipes and ideas to try!
Angela, Congratulations on your 2 year anniversary! I just want to say thanks. I’m so glad I found your blog, not only does it give me something to look forward to as I check my favourite blogger’s posts each day (You’re #1!), but it has helped me with my running goals, and, I never would have started making overnight oats, banana soft serve, or my most recent favourite, the banana soft serve with chocolate ganache without you! You rock!! :)
Dawn
I have a never ending passion for dance. It completes me.
Thank you, Angela, for putting love (and delicious recipes) out into the Universe!
xo
-Rachel
just started reading your blog, congrats on 2 years:-) I am still trying to find that comfortable place where i eat intuitively and don’t obsess. it is definitely a work in progress
i didn’t realize how much i would love my body in pregnancy. you hear pregnant women complain all the time about weight and what not but honestly, i’ve never felt sexier or loved my body more.