On October 31, 2008, I was just a girl grasping for hope.
I was struggling with disordered eating that still lingered despite my best efforts to beat it. I felt like I had made a lot of progress, but there was still a missing piece to my puzzle.
Self-love.
I fought a daily battle of self-acceptance, depressive thoughts, and anxiety. Despite the smile on the outside, most days I felt like I was crumbling on the inside. I was simply going through the motions of life and the days were passing me by. Indeed, I was truly thankful for so many wonderful people in my life, but the one thing I couldn’t be thankful for was myself.
I wasn’t quite sure how I was going to get to that place of self-acceptance or happiness, but I decided the first step was going to be writing about it.
And so it all began with a simple Boo on Halloween day!
I have always loved writing because it comes to me easier than expressing my thoughts out loud. It is just me and a keyboard or piece of paper talking to someone out there and thinking things through. Writing is a way for my inner voice to be heard when often it is silenced by all the thoughts swirling through my mind. Writing gives each thought a chance, each thought a moment to be heard and I often clear my mind or work things out as I write.
I guess this is why I was never meant to be a researcher. While I did spend most of my time writing in grad school, my writing was very very formal, scientific, and sterile in many ways. I felt suffocated when I wrote a research paper and I always felt like I couldn’t express my true self. In a paper, there was little room for jokes, sarcasm, stories, or occasional curse words (trust me, I could have used them many times!). It was all too structured.
I wanted to set my thoughts free.
Starting this blog was a way for me to have a creative outlet at a time when my creativity felt stifled in many areas of my life. OSG was the one place where I felt like I could express myself fully. I would simply write about what I wanted to write about, just like in my Creative Writing class in high school that I loved so much. My teacher had us make Creative Writing journals in high school and we could write whatever we wanted to in them. Personal stories, clippings, drawings, poems, deep thoughts, jokes, and anything that we wanted to share. I absolutely loved this journal and I would talk about my struggles with disordered eating, my love for delicious healthy food, animals, exercise, running, the desire for happiness, and whatever else I wanted to talk about.
Over the past two years, I have found that missing piece of self-love. Even on the days when I can’t find it and I am having a bad day, I know that it isn’t far away and it will come back to me. I have met amazing people along the way and I have been touched by the support and kindness of others.
Today, I write because I am truly thankful for these past two years, for sharing my life with you, the ups and the downs, and the discussions, inspiring words, and support. My hope for the blog going forward is to give back as much gratitude, love, and inspiration as I get from writing each day.
Thank you for letting me come into your lives each day and also, for allowing me to come into yours.
As a small token of my appreciation, I am going to do some giveaways!
1) Draw for $25 Glo Bakery gift certificates to be given out to 5 random people
2) Draw for a homemade batch of cookies, Glo bars, or muffins (any from my recipes page!) shipped to your doorstep.
3) Grand prize draw for $100 Glo Bakery gift certificate to one random winner
If you’d like a chance to be entered in the giveaway, please leave a comment below telling me anything about your own passions, journey, or perhaps something you have grown to love about yourself. Contest closes Monday Nov 8th.
I’m off to the kitchen to shoot my video for Challenge #7! Hopefully there aren’t as many flops as last night. ;) Happy Halloween!
Happy Birthday OSG!!!! You have been such a great inspiration to me and many others. I look forward to reading your post everyday. You have taught me how to cook and eat healthy vegetarian meals. Maybe even, dare I say, be a little adventurous in the kitchen and find a love I never knew I had. You have helped me get healthier one meal at a time!
I found your blog in the summer and you are a wonderful daily dose of positive living. All the best to you and your family.
I am SO glad you started OSG! Your honesty has been instrumental in helping me face and overcome my own self-image issues. Thank you!
Congratulations! Reading your blog is a highlight of my day, and I appreciate all the time, effort, and genuine passion you put in to each post and recipe.
A big piece of my own personal growth has come with knowing that my past has shaped me, but it in no way defines me. I am my own person and can choose my present and future.
Happy Blogiversary Ang!!!!!!
I’ve come a long way this year. With the help of the Healthy Living Community, I’ve grown into a strong, self confident person. Each day I’m inspired by random people from the internet and have come to realize that life is way too short to not take any chances! With that, I’m NYC bound on Friday to live with my sister and find work in the city :)
I’ve been religiously following your blog for many months now, but this is the first time I’ve ever written a comment. Why? I’m really not sure… Many of your blog posts impact me in one way or another. Either I love a recipe you post and am eager to try it out ASAP, or a post about you overcoming your disordered eating motivates me to change my own disordered way of eating, or your amazingly beautiful pictures inspire me to buy a nice camera and start my own blog. But for some reason, ive never commented! Starting with this one, that will change.
I have truly become inspired by you in so many ways! You’ve inspired me to eat more whole foods and back away from the processed junk; you’ve inspired me to finally make the switch to a full on vegan diet after being a vegetarian for nearly 5 years; you’ve inspired me to cook more and get creative with food and always keep its appearance in mind (I love making a meal LOOK beautiful and appetizing); you’ve inspired me to finally let go of the vicious starve-then-binge cycle I’ve struggled with for much too long; you’ve inspired me to stop counting calories and ditch the scale; you’ve inspired me to start a blog to keep myself on track, post all of my personal recipes with beautiful pictures, and hopefully inspire others! THANK YOU SO MUCH ANGELA! Happy 2nd birthday to an amazing, inspiring, life changing blog!
I have been following your blogging journey for quite a while now and am so thankful for all your posts! You share such beautiful insight to life! I was struggling with bulimia around the time that I found your blog and you are most certainly one of the reasons that I was able to recover. You helped me realize that food is more than a pile of calories… and I can safely say that I absolutely LOVE food now. I love trying new things, creating in the kitchen, and enjoying those creations. :) So… Thank you. Really… thank you.
I’m really passionate about health as well as helping others. I’ve wanted to be a nurse for 9 years and am finally making it happen! I’m in my first year and while it’s absolutely craziness, I am SO excited and looking forward to the day that I will be able to get out there and make a difference. :)
Congrats on your anniversary. You are an inspiration to so many. Love your spirit!
I am working hard on living in the NOW. I always want to be planning and preparing for the future and although that is important in some ways (financially), I need to live for today. I trust that ‘my busdriver’ will take care of the future.
My passion is spending time in nature, especially by the water. I find it relaxing and calming.
I’ve learned to say “no” more often and not live for others, but for me. I try to live from my heart.
Happy Birthday and congrats on your success! You have such a beautiful story and I applaud you for having the courage to document and share each step of your journey. Obviously, many, many women appreciate your candor–not to mention your ridiculously fabulous goodies! Yummy stuff, girl!!
Happy OSG Birthday!
I’m still searching for my self-love most days…but reading your stories make me determined to get there!
I think your blog is amazing! In the last few years, I’ve developed more of a passion for running and I consistently amaze myself with what I can accomplish both distance and time-wise. I’m also learning, little by little, how to live more in the moment and appreciate every second I have rather than worry about my imperfections or the future. Yoga has been incredibly helpful in finding that “inner” strength that I didn’t know was there and it nicely complements running where I am discovering another type of strength. Thanks for inspiring me to do both!
Happy Birthday OSG! I’ve realized that I’m a much stronger person than I previously realized and that any dream can be achieved, no matter how far-fetched. I get to do exactly what I love every single day AND get paid for it.
Happy 2nd blogiversary. Blogging has really helped me express my creativity as well and has helped me enjoy my life overall more. Isn’t it wonderful :)
Congrats on your blogiversary!
Something I have really learned about myself over the past year or so is that I might as well be happy with the person I am because it is the only person I am ever going to be.
There is no use in beating myself up over things I can’t control. I need to live a happy, full life and stop worrying about the little things.
after reading so many great blogs like yours, i started my blog last spring! it not only has become a favorite hobby of mine…and is definitely one of my passions! :)
Congrats on the anniversary! I love reading your blog and seeing how creative you are with cooking and baking. You have an amazing knack for opening up and really letting the readers feel like they know you! Your blog has inspired me to create my own blog and express my own creativity and love for health and food. Thanks for your inspiration and knowing that true acceptance of myself as a woman is in the journey we play out each day.
I love running and I always amaze myself how far I can run. Besides the fitness part, it is a constant reminder that i am strong! Thank you for your awesome blog! Happy Bloggy Anniversary!
congrats on two wonderful years!!
reading this blog has made me realize that its ok…. its ok to not have it all figured out right now. its ok to not want to eat animal products even if you get a hard time about it. its ok to not find time to work out every single day.
and for all of those things, and many more, i have to say thank you!
Happy Anniversary OSG :)
I just started reading your blog within the past few months, conveniently around the same time I began confronting some of my own issues in my life. Your blog has helped so much :) Since then, I have focused on taking care of myself better, and reconnecting with my passions – art and cooking! It’s definitely a journey in progress, but so far, so definitely good :)