Good evening!
We are currently MELTING today- it is so hot out!!!
I got my big order today done in the nick of time- with only 1 hour to spare! :)
I had so much fun making these goodie bags!
I put a much needed fan in our office!!!
Eric thinks that our computers may have been overheating last week, so we are trying to cool the office with the fan. We may also have to upgrade the fans in our PC’s too.
The breeze feels so good on my shoulders as I work!
Sketchie really hates Mondays! Not sure if you can see, but he is covering his eyes with his paws…so cute.
Tonight I am featuring a fabulous question about breaking away from calorie counting!
255. P asks, “Hi Angela, I have just finished reading all the different parts, and its such a strange thing because in the mindset of disordered eating, you convince yourself that you are the only one in the ENTIRE world that has this ‘problem’, but the reality is, many girls unfortunately have the same feelings and thoughts!
I also feel so silly for struggling for five+ years with something as simple as ‘eating’. It drives me nuts that I took something like feeding myself and completely blew it out of proportion, into a disorder…
I’m not sure if you know what I mean, but its actually a STRUGGLE to break away from the calorie-counting mindset… Like, for 2-3 days I’ll focus on the balance on my plate (carbs, protein, veggies) and then something will trigger me to stop everything and start calorie counting again… (like seeing a thinner girl, or a comment made by a family member, that will put a stop to what I’m doing and convince me to count calories again.)
Can you recommend something to keep in mind when these trigger-events happen? Like, what helped you stay focused on health when you were faced with triggers that would have in the past, started your ‘diet mentality’ again?”
Thanks for this great question. I struggled a lot with giving up calorie counting. It was so ingrained into my head that it was a habit like brushing my teeth! I just did it automatically. Breaking habits are hard! I must have tried a dozen times to stop counting calories before I finally did it successfully. I think I have gone almost a year now without counting calories throughout the day.
I don’t think all calorie counting is negative- that is for each person to decide for themselves- however, it seems clear to me that you believe it is harmful for you, so that is an indication that something needs to change!
I am similar to you in that when stressful events pop up in my life I have a tendency to revert back to negative behaviours. Last summer I struggled with a huge amount of stress from my grad school, job, and wedding planning. I would find myself wanting to start counting calories again or trying to control what I was eating much more than usual. Any time we start to revert back to our negative behaviours it is a warning or a signal that something is wrong! Our bodies are trying to tell us something!!! For example, a lot of my disordered eating in the past stemmed from low self-esteem. When I would start to feel the urge to restrict my intake it was usually when I felt threatened by external stress. The control over my eating was how I felt like I had control over my entire life, even though that was an illusion at the time.
What really helped me was 1) Learning to recognize when I was starting to revert back to my old ways, and 2) Challenging the behaviours and negative thinking.
It helps a lot if you can either talk about this with someone when it is happening or writing your thoughts on paper.
Ask yourself questions like:
– What stressors are currently going on in my life?
– Why are these things stressful?
– What can I do to reduce the amount of stress that is caused by these things (list individually)?
– What negative behaviours am I reverting back to (list)?
– What are some positive behaviours that I can do to counteract these negative behaviours?
Here is an example to illustrate how I felt last summer:
– What stressors are currently going on in my life?
I am juggling wedding planning, a new highly demanding job, and preparing to defend my master’s thesis and graduating from grad school.
– Why are these things stressful?
I have taken on way too much this summer and I don’t have enough time each day to devote the proper amount to each thing. Consequently I feel like I am doing a poor job with everything or that I am failing at certain things because I don’t have the time or energy to devote to it.
– What can I do to reduce the amount of stress that is caused by these things (list individually)?
I could leave my job
I could take another semester or year to graduate
I could give Eric more of the wedding planning (which I actually did!!!!)
I could let go of my perfectionistic ways (I really had no other choice!)
I could talk to my boss and thesis supervisor about the high stress I felt (did both)
Eric and I could elope (LOL)
– What negative behaviours am I reverting back to (list)?
I have started to count calories again
I have weighed myself more than I was before
I am controlling what I eat more and not always eating when hungry
I am thinking negative things about my body (I was feeling a lot of pressure to look perfect in my wedding dress!)
– What are some positive behaviours that I can do to counteract these negative behaviours?
Focus on eating healthy foods so I feel energized and happy. Eat for health, not for weight.
Stop weighing myself!!
Listen to my body, eat when I am hungry- always. By listening to my body I will not feel the urge to overeat and binge.
Get more sleep/Go to bed earlier (this was HARD for me…I wasn’t sleeping much due to the stress. I tried herbal sleep pills that did nothing for me and I refused to take prescription sleep aids).
Continue to exercise 6 days a week to relieve stress
Talk to Eric, family, and friends when I am stressed or down. Use others for support.
Set a positive goal in your life or give yourself something to look forward to.
See a counselor if necessary (I probably should have done this, but I told myself I didn’t have time)
Talking about our feelings and writing about our feelings can help SO much. I always suggest seeing a counsellor if you don’t see any improvement with your issues. I have been to a counsellor a couple times in the past and it helped me so much. My counsellor gave me assignments that I could take home and do each week that were really great and eye opening!
Today’s question:
Do you count calories? Do you find it is positive, negative, or a bit of both? Are you trying to stop or are you happy with how it works for you?
I definitely think that many people benefit from counting calories. It can be a great tool for weight loss if it doesn’t get taken to the extreme (like anything else!). For myself, it became a problem so I had to stop. I am also in the maintenance phase of weight loss so I didn’t see it as practical to count calories the rest of my life!
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Well, I need to finish up order #2 for tomorrow morning! I am also going to work on the Glo Bakery website the rest of the night. I have a ton of baked goods to get on the website!
We also have someone coming to look at our water heater (for the second time!) as we are having problems with it. It is heating the COLD water if you can believe it!! The water heater company that we rent the heater from tried to tell us it was a plumbing issue, and our plumber said it wasn’t a plumbing issue, so now the water company is sending another person to come look at it! This has been going on for 3 weeks now. I am really scared to get our hydro bill…hopefully it will get fixed tomorrow!
Enjoy your night!
See you tomorrow AM for more clues on the SGBC- and a POLL- make sure you stop by tomorrow and have you vote cast for a SGBC question! :)
I have definitely counted calories for weight loss and had it be a helpful, positive thing, and I’ve also had calorie counting turn me completely against myself. At this point I am truly trying to embrace the perfection of my body’s system: it knows when it’s hungry and it knows when to stop. I believe if I listen to it I’ll eat just when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. So, I’ve been doing really well not counting calories, but I definitely have to talk myself out of it sometimes!
Awesome post, Angela! (And tell Sketchie that Monday is almost over)
Ok – I love reading your blog – but was always skeptical about these smoothies. They seem to have caught on elsewhere – and finally, I gave in.
OMG. OMG. I am so sorry for being so skeptical! IT WAS AWESOME! 1/2 frozen banana, a few frozen strawberries, a HUGGGGEEEE handful of spinahc (more like 2) and some almond milk.
WOW. SO happy I tried it!!
(I know this isn’t really related to the original post subject – but I had to share!!)
Nicole
I started counting calories because I got really sick with IBS, and it was an easy way that I could work out whether I could eat something or not (because very fatty things which made me sick are high calorie, and things which did not make me sick generally weren’t), but now I find that I do it all of the time. It doesn’t really help that in Japan (where I live) most recipe books have a calorie count next to them, so I find myself denying myself certain foods, because I think they are too high in calories (even if they’re jampacked with good healthy stuff).
As a result of this, I then end up going.. well, I know that what I’m eating tonight is going to be low calorie, so I can allow myself a snack now. Even when I’m not hungry. Which means that I end up snacking, and because I’m not hungry eating far too much, because there’s no cut off if you weren’t hungry in the first place.
So I’m definitely trying to get myself out of it, but it is very difficult when there is this voice in my head that says that I need to lose weight.
So thank you for writing this! It is very useful :)
A timely topic for me, I’m going on two months now without calorie counting after 9 months of doing it. I have to say, my 25 lb+ weight loss was mostly due to counting calories. I had no idea what calories even were before I started tracking them. I thought it was fat grams that made you gain weight!
Surprisingly, I’ve been able to ease out of calorie counting very successfully. Some days I have weird eating days where I really wish I could tally everything up. But most of the time, I feel pretty confident with my choices. I’ve actually lost additional inches around my waist since giving it up, I think because I’m listening to my body more and not basing my eating on some number.
Angela, your products looks amazing! I was looking through your past posts, and on Feb 2- What I Bought- Installment 1- there is an amazing picture of you and Eric! Gorgeous! Who is your photographer? Thanks!
Glad you like the photos! Our photographers are amazing- check Dave and Charlotte out here: http://www.daveandcharlotte.com/ and here is the link to our E-shoot: http://www.daveandcharlotte.com/2008/07/engagement-sessions/eric-angelas-engagement-session/
This is kind of off topic for this post but I wanted to say it anyways!
I have two things that have been working for me:
Green Monsters- I have been making mine with spinach because its most readily available, cheapest, and blends up the best in my crappy blender! ;) However, like you have said, its best nutritionally if steamed first so what I have taken to doing is steaming a bunch of it some evening and then sticking it in a container in the fridge so each morning I can just take out some COLD presteamed spinach for my smoothie. Its great and saves me some time in the morning!
As for your list problem, have you tried using a white board? I have a whiteboard that I write stuff on all the time and its great because like paper, it is sitting there right in front of me. The only issue with it is the ability for things to get accidently erased, but I think one of those water soluble boards might solve that problem. (Its like a whiteboard but you need to wet the ink for it to come off, I am sure it has a real name I just can’t think of it right now!)
Anyways, thanks for having such a positive site and best of luck with your wirlwind week in the kitchen!
-K
Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for this post.
The issue of calorie counting obviously hits home for a lot of women; I know it does for me. A year and a half ago, I started harmlessly tallying my calorie intake for the day, just out of curiosity. I didn’t need to lose any weight at all, and I was an extremely fit and active university student. Pretty soon, though, I got caught up in the numbers; I’d read figures of “acceptable calorie limits” in women’s magazines and strive to come in under those. This really wasn’t healthy for me, because a) They weren’t designed for someone as active as I was, and b) They were designed for weight loss, which I didn’t need!
Being a perfectionist like you Ange, I stuck to my calorie limit religiously, and sure enough, weight came off. I became so obsessed by numbers and eating that it took over my life. I no longer went out and partied like I used to, because I didn’t have “room” in my daily allowance for the calories in alcohol. I dreaded social occasions when i had to eat out. I was always trying to come in at a lower and lower number, denying myself when I was hungry, because in my crazy warped mind, less calories was always better.
Needless to say, that wasn’t a very good time in my life. Thanks to inspiration blogs like yours, I’m doing MUCH better now, physically and mentally. I’m working with a nutritionist to make sure I’m fueling myself properly for all the training I’m doing. I focus on listening to my body, eating good, nutrient-packed foods, and, most of all, NOT WORRYING TOO MUCH about it. If I go overboard at dinner one night – SO WHAT? Life’s too short.
Still, like you said, there are times when things are stressful and I can feel myself reverting to my old ways. I think you give really great advice about how to deal with it – be aware of what you’re doing, and look to make positive changes to your outlook.
My relationship with food is definitely a work in progress, but I’ve come SO far from where I once was. Thanks for being a constant source of inspiration to us all….and sorry about the essay-comment!
I started looking up the calories in various foods online when I wanted to lose a few lbs in college. This led to me tracking my intake on the computer, which became wayyyy too obsessive (um, I tracked sugarfree gum). I ended up losing TOO much weight, and was uncomfortable with re-incorporating any “bad” foods back into my diet. The knowledge of the number of calories in most foods is honestly sometimes a burden! While I don’t technically track my intake, I have a general running tally in my head at all times. I never set a limit for myself, but when I become aware that my count is getting up there, I get uncomfortable. It’d be so nice to return to that naive time when I didn’t have all this knowledge!!
On a funnier note, I BROKE my blender this am!! I was actually craving oats, but didn’t want to give up the “green” aspect of my breakfast, so I was blending spinach to make green oats. Well, things weren’t moving as quickly as I had hoped and I used a spoon to push stuff down. The spoon got caught, rattled around a bit, and crashed through the wall of my (plastic, thank god) blender! I just stood there with my jaw on the floor for a minute!! I am so addicted that I went out and got a new blender tonight!
Angela, your blog reminds me of a self-help book! The really good kind you curl up with and feel better after reading. Thank you for sharing so much wonderful insight with all of us day after day :)
I love it when cats cover their eyes like that. Just too darn cute!
Wow! A friend sent me a link to your site and I am so glad! I am sure you hear this all the time, but we have much in common. You are an inspiration-not just with your fitness and beauty but with what you have done with your blog. I linked you immediately. Thanks so much for being real!
I wanted to chime in on the whole calorie counting thing.
My whole life I have been calorie conscious, but I didn’t necessarily track every calorie. When I started to lose weight, I mostly went by Weight Watcher points, which grew into calorie counting, which grew into OBSESSIVE calorie, carb, fat & protein counting. I’d track every morsel on sparkpeople. I thought about food all day long, when I was going to eat, what I was going to eat next, how long until my next meal, etc. I would stress myself out so much if I was “high” on calories for the day. It would ruin the rest of my day, knowing that I was slightly “over”. This obsessive calorie counting grew into my under-fueling my body, as I was so obsessed to stay below a certain number.
It took a LONG time and a lot of work to get away from counting. Honestly, I’m still not completely free, as I still have some idea in my mind of calories eaten, where I am for the day, etc. But I don’t religiously track, I don’t religiously obsess, and I’m in a much better place.
It’s hard. It helped me lose weight, but I lost a few good years to obsessing about it. And now that I have regained about 10 pounds, and want to get back to a comfortable weight for me, I’m finding myself resorting back to counting. It’s not necessarily a BAD thing, as long as it works for you and you can keep it under control!
I count my calories – I started a few months ago to lose weight and it works for me. The weight loss process is a very emotional one, like it is for most woman. I found that by applying numbers – like calories in/calories out, took away a lot of the judgment I had towards myself. It’s a simple math equation rather than me being lazy or worthless if I don’t lose weight. Now if I have a week where I went over my calories or didn’t exercise enough I know exactly why.
I have, however, switched to real food rather than trying to use fake food to get me through the day – no artificial sweeteners, non-fat, genetically modified foods. This switch has done me a world of good. It is because of the good blogs like yours and others you mention that helped me learn more about what was out there to try.
Keep up the good work!
I was a total calorie counter for a few weeks in college and it REALLY DID make me get thisclose to an obsession.
so for me —never again.
its amazing that what works PERFECTLY for some is dangerous for others huh?
we’re all so unique.
Sweating in TX,
MizFit
I love your blog and you have inspired me so much! I went through your site last night and made a grocery list from it and am going to stop obsessing over food and start a healthy relationship with it. Thank you so much for your blog!
I used to count calories and I don’t anymore. It would drive me insane and would make me feel like I couldn’t eat more if I was over 1800 calories or something even if I was hungry. Now I’ve learned to just listen to my body and to give it what it wants. If i’m hungry after eating dinner and I know it’s just not me “wanting to eat” I go for some cereal or some veggies or whatever is around. I have lost more weight without counting calories and I am not constantly thinking about it. There is distance between my brain and the fridge. I do though, weigh myself often and use it as a tool. If I know I’ve been eating pretty poorly and it’s showing on the scale I know when to cut back on the goodies…but I NEVER cut back on the healthy stuff. Though I know that some people have problems with the scale…it works for me. I think it’s about really figuring out what makes you happy and what works for you.