Good evening!
We are currently MELTING today- it is so hot out!!!
I got my big order today done in the nick of time- with only 1 hour to spare! :)
I had so much fun making these goodie bags!
I put a much needed fan in our office!!!
Eric thinks that our computers may have been overheating last week, so we are trying to cool the office with the fan. We may also have to upgrade the fans in our PC’s too.
The breeze feels so good on my shoulders as I work!
Sketchie really hates Mondays! Not sure if you can see, but he is covering his eyes with his paws…so cute.
Tonight I am featuring a fabulous question about breaking away from calorie counting!
255. P asks, “Hi Angela, I have just finished reading all the different parts, and its such a strange thing because in the mindset of disordered eating, you convince yourself that you are the only one in the ENTIRE world that has this ‘problem’, but the reality is, many girls unfortunately have the same feelings and thoughts!
I also feel so silly for struggling for five+ years with something as simple as ‘eating’. It drives me nuts that I took something like feeding myself and completely blew it out of proportion, into a disorder…
I’m not sure if you know what I mean, but its actually a STRUGGLE to break away from the calorie-counting mindset… Like, for 2-3 days I’ll focus on the balance on my plate (carbs, protein, veggies) and then something will trigger me to stop everything and start calorie counting again… (like seeing a thinner girl, or a comment made by a family member, that will put a stop to what I’m doing and convince me to count calories again.)
Can you recommend something to keep in mind when these trigger-events happen? Like, what helped you stay focused on health when you were faced with triggers that would have in the past, started your ‘diet mentality’ again?”
Thanks for this great question. I struggled a lot with giving up calorie counting. It was so ingrained into my head that it was a habit like brushing my teeth! I just did it automatically. Breaking habits are hard! I must have tried a dozen times to stop counting calories before I finally did it successfully. I think I have gone almost a year now without counting calories throughout the day.
I don’t think all calorie counting is negative- that is for each person to decide for themselves- however, it seems clear to me that you believe it is harmful for you, so that is an indication that something needs to change!
I am similar to you in that when stressful events pop up in my life I have a tendency to revert back to negative behaviours. Last summer I struggled with a huge amount of stress from my grad school, job, and wedding planning. I would find myself wanting to start counting calories again or trying to control what I was eating much more than usual. Any time we start to revert back to our negative behaviours it is a warning or a signal that something is wrong! Our bodies are trying to tell us something!!! For example, a lot of my disordered eating in the past stemmed from low self-esteem. When I would start to feel the urge to restrict my intake it was usually when I felt threatened by external stress. The control over my eating was how I felt like I had control over my entire life, even though that was an illusion at the time.
What really helped me was 1) Learning to recognize when I was starting to revert back to my old ways, and 2) Challenging the behaviours and negative thinking.
It helps a lot if you can either talk about this with someone when it is happening or writing your thoughts on paper.
Ask yourself questions like:
– What stressors are currently going on in my life?
– Why are these things stressful?
– What can I do to reduce the amount of stress that is caused by these things (list individually)?
– What negative behaviours am I reverting back to (list)?
– What are some positive behaviours that I can do to counteract these negative behaviours?
Here is an example to illustrate how I felt last summer:
– What stressors are currently going on in my life?
I am juggling wedding planning, a new highly demanding job, and preparing to defend my master’s thesis and graduating from grad school.
– Why are these things stressful?
I have taken on way too much this summer and I don’t have enough time each day to devote the proper amount to each thing. Consequently I feel like I am doing a poor job with everything or that I am failing at certain things because I don’t have the time or energy to devote to it.
– What can I do to reduce the amount of stress that is caused by these things (list individually)?
I could leave my job
I could take another semester or year to graduate
I could give Eric more of the wedding planning (which I actually did!!!!)
I could let go of my perfectionistic ways (I really had no other choice!)
I could talk to my boss and thesis supervisor about the high stress I felt (did both)
Eric and I could elope (LOL)
– What negative behaviours am I reverting back to (list)?
I have started to count calories again
I have weighed myself more than I was before
I am controlling what I eat more and not always eating when hungry
I am thinking negative things about my body (I was feeling a lot of pressure to look perfect in my wedding dress!)
– What are some positive behaviours that I can do to counteract these negative behaviours?
Focus on eating healthy foods so I feel energized and happy. Eat for health, not for weight.
Stop weighing myself!!
Listen to my body, eat when I am hungry- always. By listening to my body I will not feel the urge to overeat and binge.
Get more sleep/Go to bed earlier (this was HARD for me…I wasn’t sleeping much due to the stress. I tried herbal sleep pills that did nothing for me and I refused to take prescription sleep aids).
Continue to exercise 6 days a week to relieve stress
Talk to Eric, family, and friends when I am stressed or down. Use others for support.
Set a positive goal in your life or give yourself something to look forward to.
See a counselor if necessary (I probably should have done this, but I told myself I didn’t have time)
Talking about our feelings and writing about our feelings can help SO much. I always suggest seeing a counsellor if you don’t see any improvement with your issues. I have been to a counsellor a couple times in the past and it helped me so much. My counsellor gave me assignments that I could take home and do each week that were really great and eye opening!
Today’s question:
Do you count calories? Do you find it is positive, negative, or a bit of both? Are you trying to stop or are you happy with how it works for you?
I definitely think that many people benefit from counting calories. It can be a great tool for weight loss if it doesn’t get taken to the extreme (like anything else!). For myself, it became a problem so I had to stop. I am also in the maintenance phase of weight loss so I didn’t see it as practical to count calories the rest of my life!
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Well, I need to finish up order #2 for tomorrow morning! I am also going to work on the Glo Bakery website the rest of the night. I have a ton of baked goods to get on the website!
We also have someone coming to look at our water heater (for the second time!) as we are having problems with it. It is heating the COLD water if you can believe it!! The water heater company that we rent the heater from tried to tell us it was a plumbing issue, and our plumber said it wasn’t a plumbing issue, so now the water company is sending another person to come look at it! This has been going on for 3 weeks now. I am really scared to get our hydro bill…hopefully it will get fixed tomorrow!
Enjoy your night!
See you tomorrow AM for more clues on the SGBC- and a POLL- make sure you stop by tomorrow and have you vote cast for a SGBC question! :)
Great tips! I’m actually in the process of quitting counting and what I have been doing is just adding everything up at the end of the day. It lets me know that I have not “eaten too much” and in fact can have a little more! I hope to completely stop someday but I’m taking baby steps :)
i’ve always been weight obsessed. i have been eating disordered for as long as i can remember … until recently.
now, the only reason i ever calculate calories is to make sure i’m eating ENOUGH! And all thanks to you girly! You are a total inspiration! I can’t tell you enough, haha!
-Jessica
I don’t count calories. I have gotten into a great rhythm of knowing what I need to eat and when I need to stop. I know it is very helpful for some people though. I say whatever works to keep the individual healthy and happy!
I used to go in spurts of counting calories years ago. Then I went through a crazy phase of carb counting…low carb did NOT work for me…I would be fine for a few days and then CRAVE carbs/sugar and go to town. yuck, so glad I’m healthier now. I don’t count calories now at all. I just try and eat wholesome food. Great advice on how to recognize why one would calorie-count or try to over-control eating :)
I love your FAQ posts…thanks for the great tips, and thanks for your openness!
And wow, your cookies look incredible!
AWESOME awesome, Angela! I really liked the tips on stopping calorie-counting.
I used to count calories obsessively to the point that I no longer saw food as food, but as XXX calories. I freaked out if I didn’t buy packaged items that had the exact nutritional info stamped on it. It was no way to live, and restricted my social life because eating out is a huge part of social activities, but how could I trust the calories in restaurant food?
But then I started actively challenging myself by cooking for myself, and going out to eat at least once a week. Slowly the fears and anxieties went away, and when I cooked, I started thinking of food in terms of TASTE and NOURISHMENT, not xxx calories. and the freedom and liberty I felt from not calorie-counting anymore was a huge relief, and now I’m just too plain lazy to want to count anymore.
I just want to say how fun it is to read your posts and see how happy you are doing what you’re doing. :) I’ve been reading since the beginning, and you definitely “read” happier now than you did when you were working at your previous job. You’re most definitely an inspiration, Angela.
HelpMeghanRun.com
Good points made :) I definitly find REST/getting enough sleep to be sooo helpful..I need to do more of that!
I don’t count calories..but i do follow points (weightwatcher) pointts and for ME it has been veryyyy positive. I used to be a chronic binge eater/starvation dieter…I find that following the points system..full of healthy, filling foods (some not so healthy …everything in moderation) and re-learning portion sizes has definitly helped me out…I am also trying to battle the buldge, unhealthy bmis and all of the crap that goes along with that…so really, the points system has been helping me acheive my goals :)
I wouldn’t say I count calories, meaning I don’t keep a food journal with everything I eat and the calories. I do however try to keep a mindful eye on each meal so that I am consuming enough fuel (but not too much) to get me through my day and through my workouts.
Sketchie is so amazingly cute! I love when cats sleep with their paw over their eyes (my boy kitty Cooper does this too lol).
I don’t count calories but always make it a point to have a balanced meal (protein, fruits, veggies, carbs). When it comes to treats (cookies, ice cream) though, I remind myself to eat small portions since these are high calorie food. As always, balance is key for me. :P
I hope your water heater gets fixed soon! :D
When I counted calories, I definitely restricted myself too much. I didn’t eat certain things because they had too many calories – I had these set “acceptable” limits of calories for each meal that I didn’t want to go over. If I was hungry at the end of the day, I would stress over what to eat because it would be an extra 100 or 200 calories and I’d already eaten my limit for that day. Once I stopped counting calories and listened to my body, I felt so much better. I enjoy everything in moderation since I don’t have any off limit foods. It actually makes eating and cooking enjoyable again and it gives me more freedom to go out to dinner with friends since I’m not obsessing over the calorie count.
I made a compromise with myself. I wanted to still count calories, but I also wanted to eat what I wanted to eat instead of sticking to the “diet mentality” of what I *should* eat and when. So: I’ve got a balance of both worlds.
I eat what I feel like eating and when, but I’m aware of the calories in each food (or good estimates of it) and I do keep tabs. If I eat an 800 calorie meal, I’ll probably skim 200 off of the next one if I can to neaturalize it… either that or burn it off in a little extra walking that day, OR I’ll just forget about it. I like keeping numbers in my head, measuring things, and that such. It’s part of the simple math that’s actually FUN to me, but I don’t let math get in the way of eating. So if I want a brownie, I’ll have a brownie and not freak the eff out over it.
I’m not on a diet, I’m just living my life. Counting is apart of my life, and I like it that way. :)
Good thoughts here, I count calories when I am trying to lose weight, but there was definitely a time in my life when I was counting all the time.
I used to count calories…obsessively. I had an excel spreadsheet that I was addicted to. It was a mathmatical wonder.
I figured out how many calories I burned per pound per day doing normal activity. Basically figured out what I could eat to maintain. I then figured out to the minute how many calories I burned when working out (different calories per minute for different exercises).
I created myself a week total from the number above showing what maintaining was and then subtracted 3500-5000 from that list. I divided it out to the day for how many calories I was allowed. If I went over, I made myself subtract that from the next day total.
It changed weekly by the changes in my weight and how much I could exercise.
It was ABSOLUTE INSANITY. I felt if I didn’t count exactly right then I was screwed for the week.
This was being a perfectionist put to the EXTREME.
It took me nearly a year to break from this cycle. And I will never ever go back to calorie counting. I saved that spreadsheet to remind myself of how crazy I got. I shudder at this concept now.
happiness awaits
I started to count calories in July 2006, about a month after I got engaged. I told myself I just wanted to trim down a bit to look my best in my dress. In 4 months, I lost 17 pounds by counting every single calorie and limiting what I ate as much as possible. It got to the point that I was eating 2 Zone bars, a handful of cereal and a very small dinner. That was my entire day and I was running 5 miles or doing an hour of cross training every single day. Now that I’ve seen a therapist and started working through my issues, I’m right around the weight I started at in July 06 and I struggle every day with not reverting to my calorie counting ways. I tell myself I was so happy when I was thinner. I look at pictures of my “thin” days. But my husband reminds me that I was truly miserable when I was calorie counting and restricting so much. I was tired, had headaches, counted obsessively, cancelled social events if food was involved, had stomach aches, you name it. When he reminds me of that, I realize I’m happier now that I’m fighting the urge to count calories every day, even though I weigh more. Instead, I focus on eating what I want when I want it. I focus on eating the most nutritious foods for my body, but never deprive myself of indulgences if I want them. I believe that if I can spend the rest of my life nourishing my body and mind as best as I can, I’ll look the best I can. And I don’t know if I’ll ever weigh myself again!
Thanks for talking about calorie counting, Ang. You always address great topics in such a warm, personal way.
Have a great night!
I count all of my calories right now but I’m in the process of quitting. I think it’s good for weight loss but I’m in the maintenance stage right now and, like you said, I don’t want to count them for the rest of my life! It’s sooo hard to quit though, thanks for the tips!
this was a great post. i used to count calories obsessively and got down to a very unhealthy weight. my nutritionist told me to stop but i still sometimes find myself trying to estimate calories in a meal and often i get scared and feel like it’s too many calories. it’s tough but i’m trying to forever give up calorie counting and just focus on eating foods that will help my body perform at its best.
and don’t even tell me how hot it is in your house; it’s 97 degrees here! i would love to be in 86 degree weather lol!
great answer angela – i love reading your thoughts on these topics. calorie counting is such a slippery slope – when i started i think my intentions were good; i literally had no idea what the calorie content of any food was, and i think it was good to have a basic understanding of that. but it quickly became obsessive, harmful, and addicting, and i feel like that’s a common problem for many people. i still don’t know if i would ever recommend someone start counting just because of that.
focusing on eating and exercising for health rather than any kind of number has been the most helpful thing in the world for me, but i still find myself tallying up my meals sometimes. in the beginning, when i was just starting to free myself from the disordered thoughts, i would tell myself, “ok. this is what i want to eat for lunch. i’m going to make it, put it on a plate, and sit down, and then, if i want to, i can figure out the calories.” just getting out of the habit of choosing a meal based on numbers alone helped me make huge strides.
thanks for bringing up these topics!
Hey Angela!
I have been trying to find your hill workout in detail so I can do it in the morning. Is there an easy way to find that info? I keep thinking I saw a detailed write up of it. Either way if you have a handy reference to your hill workouts I would love to give it a try!!
Thanks so much!
Kate
I sort of count calories. I was trying to lose some weight at the beginning of the year, and I was writing down what I ate and counting calories for that reason. Well, it didn’t work!
I went to the nutritionist and she told me that calorie counting doesn’t really work b/c it is too easy to count things incorrectly. Instead she told me to focus on having half of my plate filled with veggies and the other half divided between lean meat and healthy carbs.
She also told me to eat a good bit more during the day instead of saving up my calories for dinner, stop having wine in the evening until I’d lost the weight I wanted to lose, and to exercise 3-5 times a week. After that, I lost my 10 lbs in a month, so you can definitely lose weight without counting calories. I was just very careful about portion size.
Now that I’m in maintenance mode I tend to subconsciously count calories. I just can’t help but check the calories while I’m checking the label, and I tend to know about how many are in what I’m eating. I think its good for me to keep calories in mind sometimes because otherwise I would overdo it on healthy but calorically dense food (mmmm….peanut butter and bananas…)
One thing I’ve realized is that calories are not created equal. Yes you can lose weight on any combination of calories that add up to a certain number, but if you’re not happy and full, you will be torturing yourself and will be more likely to overeat as a result. And of course, if you don’t eat wisely, you can eat tiny amounts of unhealthy food and lose weight, but not be healthy.
Like I said, I still keep calories in the back of my mind, but I focus primarily on getting enough protein, fiber, and veggies, because that is what makes me feel good!