Aside from my current career in the food business, many of you may not know that I also moonlight as a Barber. The job is not to be taken lightly as it requires a fine attention to detail and precision, something I have no place in assuming much skill. However, I’ve had some practice in this area with recipe development and I figure it’s always wise to develop a new skill set for the resume.
Every month, Eric calls me into the bathroom where I find him stripped down to his boxers with his Deluxe hair trimming set splayed about, clutching the large electric trimmer in one hand. This is when I transform into Barber Extraordinaire cutting his hair while catching up on the day’s gossip just like any good stylist would.
The most difficult aspect of this task is by far the point at which I have to trim the base of his hairline and make a very, very, very straight line. The first time I did it, I felt like I was trying to pipe a gingerbread cookie, my hands shaky and my pulse escalating. But now that I’ve been cutting his hair for over 10 years, I swear I could do it in my sleep. It’s really fool proof!!
“Looks good to me”, I say with a nod then disappear from the room.
Except this time Eric returned home from work with some rather upsetting news.
“Pete had a good laugh today.”
“Oh yea?”
“We were out for lunch and Pete gave a couple glances at the back of my hair. He said ‘Man, who cut your hair…Did you cut it yourself?’”
“I said ‘No, Ange did.’”
That’s when I piped in, “He loved it, right?”
“Then Pete said ‘Did you look at it? Man, you better go take a look at the back of your hair in the mirror. It’s so crooked it looks like a ski slope.’”
I took one look at Eric’s hair and it looked like a 2 year old set loose on it. Pete was right, I botched that cut almost worse than the time I cut off my best friends beautiful long hair as a 5 year old.
“Oh my Goooood. How did I…”
I burst out laughing and could not stop. Tears came, from laughing so hard.
“You’re fired.”
I tell you, the first day back at the job (he was desperate), was rather anxiety-provoking. I trimmed that hair so straight you could’ve put a laser level on it and it would pass with flying colours. So far, no more comments from Pete, but I might have a few choice words for him next time he’s over.
As for our professional relationship, I’m happy to say that Eric and I have put this matter behind us.
Thankfully, smoothies, do not require such precision and attention to detail; after all, I make them first thing in the morning when I’m still half asleep. I’ve only had a couple explosions so far.
Back on Track Green Monster (Banana Free)
Yield
3 cups
Prep time
Cook time
0 minutes
Total time
This Green Monster is great for getting your healthy eating back on track after a series of indulgences. It sets your day on the right tone and instantly makes you feel ah-mazing. For the banana haters out there, you’ll be pleased to know that this one is banana-free. As with any smoothie, feel free to play around with the ingredients to suit your own taste buds. You might like more or less lemon, ginger, apple, etc.
Ingredients
- 1 cup kale
- 1 large Gala apple (or other sweet apple), roughly chopped
- 1 English cucumber, peeled and roughly chopped
- 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
- 1 tsp fresh grated ginger
- 1/2 tbsp coconut oil
- Maple syrup, to taste (I used 1/2 tbsp or so)
- 4-5 Ice cubes
- Protein powder, optional
Directions
- Place all ingredients except maple syrup and ice into a high-speed blender and blend on high until very smooth. Blend in ice and maple syrup to taste.
- Guzzle.
- Feel amazing.
Nutrition Information
(click to expand)
Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the US! I hope you have a fun, safe, and happy holiday weekend.
Just made this after an awesome leisurely 13 K , gorgeous run…I too added fresh coconut water…I use to hairdress,,,now I only get stuck with one gorwn kid(he doesn’t like to spend the $$ on an actual hairdresser) and the hubby,,,hair every where,,,then I feel like I have to clean the whole house!
Bwahahahahaaahaaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I laughed hysterically when I read this! I was actually just talking to my sis-in-law earlier this evening about how I cut my hubs hair too. I am totally with you when it came to the first time…I was terrified. I was so frickin’ scared I was going to hurt him I about had a heart attack. Luckily, we haven’t had any mishaps yet…but it would be kinda funny if we did! ;)
Best of luck to you….hahah
Hi, Angela! I always love to see your blog!
My sister doesn’t like banana, so I’m going to try this one ;)
I have been using Kale in my smoothies for about a year now. I always feel like I am have a super health drink when I do this. I am sure it is healthy, but I like the mental feeling I get, if that makes since. Of course yours looks way better than mine, so I will have to give it a try. :)
Hahaha poor Eric! But they always come back…;) I love my green monsters with banana, definitely not a hater!
Can’t wait to try this. Is this a serving for one? Or more?
My boyfriend has super curly hair, I will NOT be cutting it any time soon haha.
I definitely need to get back on track after the holiday weekend! I recently tried kale for the first time and liked it, but still haven’t put it in a green smoothie. Need to do this soon!
yummm i get a juice from this local cafe thats apple kale ginger and lemon and its uhhhmazing! i cant wait to make this!
Guzzle and feel amazing, awesome
P.S. I cut my own hair and it looks horrendous haha
This is great!! I used spinach instead of the kale, and I used extra spinach because I didn’t have any cucumbers on hand. I also added 1 fresh pineapple core, used honey instead of the maple syrup, and ground ginger because i didn’t have fresh, and added some cayenne pepper! I also added water to this. Invigorating!
Hi, is that a glass straw in your smoothie? Do you mind telling me where you found it and whether you like it (is it durable)? I’ve been on the hunt for one. thanks!
Hey Jeannie, It’s from an online company called Glass D’harma. I love them! I have had one break on me before (it was dropped) but the company replaced it for me. If you are fairly gentle with them, it shouldn’t be an issue. I like that it isn’t plastic. Just be sure to rinse them with water right after using or the smoothies can harden on the inside. I rinse with water and then pop them into the dishwasher.
I just made this for breakfast and it was WONDERFUL!! I’m just about to make up a big batch of the detox salad. Thank you so much for your wonderful blog and for sharing all of your fabulous recipes.
Thank you for trying out the recipes! :)
Hi Angela!
I’ve been neglecting my body and my health overall in recent months and I really need to get back on track. Being a single mother who works full-time, I’ve been seeking out quick breakfast options for myself and your Green Monster sounds ideal! My only concern is the English cucumber. I personally have a very difficult time digesting cucumber in any form; how necessary is the cucumber to the recipe? Or do you have any suggestion for a substitution? Any help you could offer me would be awesome! Thanks!
Oh, and I discovered your blog just today and I can’t stop playing around on here! You’re an inspiration :)
Hey Caitlin, I use the cucumber mainly as a filler in the smoothie due to its high water content and fairly neutral flavour. You could probably sub coconut water or another high water veggie. goodluck!
Angela,
Do you think it is OK to freeze the smoothie?
I was thinking if that would work … so I could make a batch sunday night and have it in the office every morning …
I’m not sure, but it might be worth a shot. I would try just a single serving to test it in case it doesnt work. Let me know how it goes!
I’ve been lurking for years and had to comment. First of all, I think you are a food genius. I have lost over 20lbs using your various recepies. I made the banana free green monster and it was DELICIOUS. Even though I love banana’s sometimes I want to cut back on the calories from them and didn’t think I would enjoy a smoothie without one. I substituted protein powder with greek yogurt and added Vanilla Stevia instead of Maple Syrup. Thanks again.
Hey Trina, Congrats on your weight loss! Good for you. Thanks so much for your lovely comment. All my best.
First of all, your photos are GORGEOUS! I just found your site and am totally hooked!
I’ve been drinking green smoothies for a couple of years and just this week thought I’d try them without the banana. Love bananas but variety is good. The addition of the apple is enticing – I can’t wait to try it.
Your story – too funny. I’m thankful my hubby shaves his head. I did try trimming his beard though once, slipped and gave him a bald spot. Oops! :)
BTW, is that a glass straw?
Guzzling my green monster as I type. Actually, my 2 yr old is as well, and is sporting a very yummy and very green moustache! Thank you, thank you, thank you for a banana free recipe! It is delish!
Thats great!! Thanks for letting me know
Thank you:
A. I love your blog and have been experimenting with your recipes a lot lately.
B. Your story about ski sloping your husbands head made me laugh so hard I cried a little bit.
hah you are sweet! I will have to do that to Eric’s hair more often then…muhauau
I’ve left the banana out before (because I realized too late that I was out of them) and I realized it seemed to be the key to making a green smoothie tasty – without the banana all I could taste was spinach, lol, I’m excited to try this version!
hi angela, i love the idea of your green monsters but for me here in australia Kale is virtually non existant, and moreso, apples are a major no-no for me (along with all other stonefruits, my IBS-sy stomach just can’t handle them) what are your best substitutes?
Hi Alex, you could try spinach or chard?
HI
I was wondering if you can make this the night before, will it be still good?? I tend to make my smoothies the night before as not to wake the house up since i leave really to go to work??
Yes Im sure you can. Just place it in a sealed container in the fridge and give it a good stir in the morning before drinking :)
So happy to see a banana free smoothie!! I am allergic to bananas and pretty much every healthy smoothie has them in it! Thanks!
Hi,
Just wondering if Spinach would work for the “back on track green monster” smoothie? Where I’m from it’s hard to get kale outside of its season.
thanks!,
Ayla
Yes it certainly would work! Enjoy :)
I’m new to Green Monsters, but plan on doing a 3 day detox after the new year. I want to incorporate these as a regular morning meal. Do you drink all 3 cups in 1 serving? Or is it 1 cup per serving? Thanks!
Yes I usually drink the entire thing….love em too much not too ;) enjoy
Angela, just made the green monster today using this recipe. Best green monster recipe I’ve ever made!!! The ginger was such a nice addition. My 6 year old liked it but only when I made it without the ginger, which he thinks is too spicy. This is going to be a regular on my weeky menu, thank you!!!
Could honey be used instead of maple syrup? Not much of a maple syrup fan…
I cant see why not! Enjoy
I just tried this smoothie and either I did something wrong or this just isn’t my kind of smoothie. It came out very … thick. Is this normal? The consistency is almost like celery after it’s been chewed: fibrous and watery, whereas I’m used to smoothies being slightly thick but not so much that I need to chew them.
The only thing I did not add was the protein powder. Would that help? Or am I just the odd lamb out and perhaps I’ll never experience the joys of green smoothie pastures.
Hi Agnes, hmm….mine was not very thick at all so Im not sure why. Did you make any changes to the recipe? Does your blender normally have a hard time blending things like kale very smooth?
I haven’t really had problems with my blender (even though it isn’t one of the top ones). After looking at other green smoothie recipes, I’m wondering if the order of blending might have something to do with it. Perhaps I’ll try again blending each of the ingredients separately.
Thank you!
Thanks for this! I’m allergic to bananas, and it’s difficult to find smoothie recipes that don’t have them (understandable as they’re delicious, and thickening).
Earlier your Green Monster included chia seeds & lemon grass powder. Which of these is causing the (most) laxative effect? These are delish but I found out I need to stay near home. Yipes! Will this effect decrease?
Yipes indeed! hah. It could be the chia seeds. I`ve never tried lemon grass powder before though, so I would read up on that too. Better luck next time!
Laughing out load as this exact thing takes place in our home as well! Great smoothie too.
oops! laughing out LOUD
Very light and refreshing. Thanks for this really clean smoothie recipe!
Thank you for making this!! I am allergic to banana’s and have been looking for a good mix without them! :D
This looks amazing! It looks like a delicious way to get your veggies! Can you substitute kale for spinach? I know you can do that with the classic Green Monster, but will it work in this banana-free recipe? Thanks!
Im sure you can, just add a small amount at first to make sure it’s not overpowering :)
This looks beautiful! I make a similar smoothie with spinach and avocado, but I always include half a banana. On another note, do you mind sharing where you got those straws?!
http://www.eatsbydesign.com/drew-mannings-spinach-smoothie/
The glass straws are from a company called Glass D’harma :)
Thanks for sharing this non-banana recipe! I used spinach in stead of kale and it tastes good!
Hi Angela, I’ve discovered your blog a couple of months ago and I can only say I’m over the moon about all the wonderful recipes and inspiration you provide. I’ve tried already a couple of recipes and they were all delicious. I have some little concerns that I hope you can help me with, maybe with some useful advice. I’ve changed my alimentation recently to get rid of extra weight and some painful health problems and so far it has worked wonders for me, but it is limited (reduced amounts of fish and meat, all the veggies and fruit I want, fatty acids and vitamin d supplements, no wheat, no dairy, no sugars, no sausages/cold cuts). I don’t sport (if you don’t count house chores, running after the children, biking in the city and the occasional walks in the office and in the park) and I wonder if I may be intaking too many calories without being able to burn any. This shake seems great, I guess I can try it without the protein powder too, right? Things like peanut butter, I saw some amazing dishes here…aren’t they very caloric? This kind of doubts I have…I really hope you can help, I am drooling with all these recipes…
A little clarification: the doubt about the calories intake is related to some totally yummie recipes here, not to everything I eat nor to all your recipes . Also, I try not to have any kind of yeast and some of your recipes have some form of baking soda or other means, some contain nutritional yeast, which I’m also not sure if I can use or not. Again, thank you for the great food!
Hi Sara, Thanks for your comment! I now post the nutritional info with my new recipes (I started doing this a couple months ago or a bit longer which is why old recipes don’t have the info), so I hope this will help guide you with your own efforts. I use a program called Calorie Count for my blog recipes – it’s a free program that let’s you calculate the nutritional info. Check it out if that’s of interest to you. I don’t count calories in my diet, but I can see how this is helpful for some. Good luck and thanks for reading!
Hi Angela, thank you very much, I will try to check it out, although I’ll need help from my nutritionist I guess, I don’t count calories either, nor I have a limit for them, I really just changed my alimentation, its patterns and the size of my portions, which were of male-Dutch size! My concern about the calores has more to do with the fact I’m a sweet tooth and an emotional eater than the calories per se, if I start eating sweet things (bread,cakes,cookies, nutella etc.) I won’t stop, it was my main problem, comfort eating at all times paired with a sedentary job…disaster! All your recipes make me want to cook and to eat, yesterday for instance I tried the millet-lentils-avocado-basicl pesto salad but I used spelt eliche pasta instead (delish!), I think I just have to space the sweet recipes well and it will be fine. Stress and guilt do more disasters for your body and your weight than anything else, so I’ll enjoy all I try! Today I’ll give a go to the mint green monster I think :-)
Thanks for the recipe! The coconut oil doesn’t harden from the ice and cold liquid?
Just tried this recipe and loved the kick of ginger! Because I don’t have a proper blender (just an attachment with my Magimix) I found it wasn’t as smooth as I would like it. Would you recommend chopping the kale finer, or maybe blending the kale/ fruit before adding the liquid? Any suggestions would be great. Love this blog!
Hey Alison, Thanks for your kind words! Unfortunately, with kale, you really do need a high-speed blender (such as a Vitamix) to get the kale super smooth. Otherwise, I suggest using spinach as a replacement as it blends up a lot easier than kale. Enjoy & good luck!
Haha! I have never cut anyone’s hair before (except my own, once, when I was five or six years old). I don’t think I would trust myself to do a good job — I wouldn’t even know where to begin!
As for making smoothies, though, that’s something I can get on board with. Love green smoothies, and it’s been way too long since I’ve had one. Yum!
the pictures are fantastic! and the recipes are really great and original!
Just tried this smoothie and it was delicious! The only modification I made was that I added some frozen pineapple chunks (Yum!). Thanks for the recipe :)
Hi Angela!
I love this one! So refreshing. After a lot of experimentation, I’ve found that my favorite way to make a green monster is with kale, soy milk, frozen mango, frozen peach, cinnamon, vanilla, almond butter, and chia seeds. :)
Can’t wait to try this and I’m sending the recipe to my MIL who doesn’t like bananas.
One of my favorite smoothies right now I like to call Upbeet. Recipe below:
Four 1″ cubes of beets
One 1″ cube of fresh ginger
6-8 fresh mint leaves
6-8 fresh basil leaves
1/2 lemon
1 orange
6 ice cubes
4-6 baby carrots (optional)
Blend together in a high speed blender and ENJOY!
One of the first vegan recipes I made was the Classic Green Monster smoothie. I loved that it was packed full of nutrients but still tasted amazing. One of my staple vegan recipes to date!
Quick question, do you peel your ginger before throwing it in the vitamix?
Thanks, great blog by the way.
I LOVE YOUR BLOG! I cannot get off of it. Thanks so much for your hard work. I noticed you use maple syrup primarily as a sweetener, do you ever use agave?
Yes I do sometimes (mainly when I dont want the maple flavour to come though)
Thanks for your kind words!
My wife thinks she is a hairdresser. She is an accountant. I have little to no temper. I don’t get mad. She would say I pout. However I become very angry if anyone messes with the cuteness of our three kids. They are grown now. Both boys cut their own hair too short. Our daughter is a diva and makes up for our families lack of supporting the hair design community. When our handsome middle child was playing football his wonderful curls stuck out from under his helmet. He was not comfortable from the attention from the girls. My wife cut his hair and couldn’t get it straight. He ended up looking like Slingblade. I took her clippers and through them in the river.
You really know how to name a recipe.