Aside from my current career in the food business, many of you may not know that I also moonlight as a Barber. The job is not to be taken lightly as it requires a fine attention to detail and precision, something I have no place in assuming much skill. However, I’ve had some practice in this area with recipe development and I figure it’s always wise to develop a new skill set for the resume.
Every month, Eric calls me into the bathroom where I find him stripped down to his boxers with his Deluxe hair trimming set splayed about, clutching the large electric trimmer in one hand. This is when I transform into Barber Extraordinaire cutting his hair while catching up on the day’s gossip just like any good stylist would.
The most difficult aspect of this task is by far the point at which I have to trim the base of his hairline and make a very, very, very straight line. The first time I did it, I felt like I was trying to pipe a gingerbread cookie, my hands shaky and my pulse escalating. But now that I’ve been cutting his hair for over 10 years, I swear I could do it in my sleep. It’s really fool proof!!
“Looks good to me”, I say with a nod then disappear from the room.
Except this time Eric returned home from work with some rather upsetting news.
“Pete had a good laugh today.”
“Oh yea?”
“We were out for lunch and Pete gave a couple glances at the back of my hair. He said ‘Man, who cut your hair…Did you cut it yourself?’”
“I said ‘No, Ange did.’”
That’s when I piped in, “He loved it, right?”
“Then Pete said ‘Did you look at it? Man, you better go take a look at the back of your hair in the mirror. It’s so crooked it looks like a ski slope.’”
I took one look at Eric’s hair and it looked like a 2 year old set loose on it. Pete was right, I botched that cut almost worse than the time I cut off my best friends beautiful long hair as a 5 year old.
“Oh my Goooood. How did I…”
I burst out laughing and could not stop. Tears came, from laughing so hard.
“You’re fired.”
I tell you, the first day back at the job (he was desperate), was rather anxiety-provoking. I trimmed that hair so straight you could’ve put a laser level on it and it would pass with flying colours. So far, no more comments from Pete, but I might have a few choice words for him next time he’s over.
As for our professional relationship, I’m happy to say that Eric and I have put this matter behind us.
Thankfully, smoothies, do not require such precision and attention to detail; after all, I make them first thing in the morning when I’m still half asleep. I’ve only had a couple explosions so far.
Featuring all new, protein-packed salads, hearty toppers, flavour boosters, and dressings you'll want to drink, my new cookbook will transform the way you think about salads. Oh, and be sure to flip to the back for a surprise dessert chapter!
Back on Track Green Monster (Banana Free)
Yield
3 cups
Prep time
Cook time
0 minutes
Total time
This Green Monster is great for getting your healthy eating back on track after a series of indulgences. It sets your day on the right tone and instantly makes you feel ah-mazing. For the banana haters out there, you’ll be pleased to know that this one is banana-free. As with any smoothie, feel free to play around with the ingredients to suit your own taste buds. You might like more or less lemon, ginger, apple, etc.
Ingredients
- 1 cup kale
- 1 large Gala apple (or other sweet apple), roughly chopped
- 1 English cucumber, peeled and roughly chopped
- 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
- 1 tsp fresh grated ginger
- 1/2 tbsp coconut oil
- Maple syrup, to taste (I used 1/2 tbsp or so)
- 4-5 Ice cubes
- Protein powder, optional
Directions
- Place all ingredients except maple syrup and ice into a high-speed blender and blend on high until very smooth. Blend in ice and maple syrup to taste.
- Guzzle.
- Feel amazing.
Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the US! I hope you have a fun, safe, and happy holiday weekend.
Will try to make this but worried my blender won’t handle the kale.
OMG! I trim my husband’s hair too sometimes and once my hands trembled so much that instead of a trim, he had a whole new “style” afterwards. Haha!
I make my smoothies using Kale, Water, Chai seeds, and bananas. I will add coconut oil next time…
Funny story! I will never cut my husband’s hair. When he was younger, he was a barber, and he is so particular about his hair. I also make him cut our 2 sons’ hair. Why pay for a cut, when I have his talent at home!
BTW, a green monster sounds great right about…..NOW!
This made me laugh so hard because although I don’t have a hubaroo, I do have a precious little duchess of a dog… and last winter? She jumped onto a park bench, sitting in gum! Gum on le Bum! And because I was impatient with the old home remedies of peanut butter, ice, etcetera; I snipped it off! And her bottom flaunted an uneven cut for a few months. :)
I will never forget that day you decided to begin your Hair Styling career at the early age of 4!! I answered the door to see a very unhappy Mom standing with her daughter beside her. Carrie’s long blonde locks cut off by the hands of a very creative little girl (we won’t mention names) who decided that her playmate should have a new look ;) Although it wasn’t funny at that moment, it sure is now!!
hahah I don’t remember much from 4 years old, but I do remember bits and pieces of that event!
You know, I’ve never made a smoothie without banana before! I find it adds creaminess, but I’ll definitely give this a try :)
I guess there is a good reason that my brother refuses to let my mom cut his hair!
Oh dear… your barber story is pretty cute. Pete was probably the only one that noticed anyway. Guys aren’t as observant as we are ;p
This smoothie looks great! I quite like bananas, but am looking forward to trying this out!
Hi Angela, cute story! I didn’t see any liquid added in the ingredients list. How much did you add? Thanks!
1/2 cup coconut water (or just use water) :)
Oh, the joys of cutting hair… With a clipper the cut isn’t too bad, it’s the clean-up that frustrates me more!
Glad to hear I’m not the only person who cuts their husbands hair, whilst said husband is only in boxers :)
hahah ;)
That hair cutting story is brilliant :)
This green monster is also deserving of its monster title – serious nutrition in a glass!
Hi Angela,
Do you use a specific juicer or smoothie machine? Looking to invest in a good one.
Thanks,
Stacey
Hey Stacey, I own a Vitamix (after years of blenders breaking on me) a great investment!
Great smoothie and a great story! You are a brave woman. I wouldn’t even attempt the hair cutting. :)
Hehehe great story Ange!! I used to trim my own bangs but that definitely has a larger margin for error than a guy’s hairline! I have to say, every time I’ve seen Eric, things have looked pretty straight, so I’d say you’re decent at your night job! ;) This green monster sounds so so good, especially the ginger and apple part! I’ve been juicing tons lately and ginger has been added to everything!
Hahahahaha I just read this aloud to my partner and he just rolled his eyes at me. I’ve cut his hair a few times, but most of the time when he needs it he doesn’t wait for me and does it himself – and he looks like Alfalfa. :D I’d rather him mess up his hair than me, though!
This GM looks awesome, I’ll have to try it! A change from my usual banana mango. :)
I am generally not a smoothie girl, but this actually was really good!! The no banana gives it a way different taste from other smoothies!
What a gorgeous green color!!! Green smoothies always make me feel vibrant and more alive inside and out! :D
hey! I resent that banana hating comment. I have a wax food allergy. Bananas and I wish we were friends, but were not. I’m excited to try this though!
Oh geeze. I’ve been cutting my husband’s hair for about that long as well, and luckily most of the mishaps have been his fault (he does the front, I do the back) not mine. This smoothie looks great – I wish I had read this a few hours ago as the husband took the last banana this morning which was supposed to be for my green smoothie! And let me tell you, frozen spinach, strawberries, and yoghurt isn’t so good without the banana. I’ll be trying this next time, thanks for the recipe!