Back On Track Green Monster (Banana-Free)

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Aside from my current career in the food business, many of you may not know that I also moonlight as a Barber. The job is not to be taken lightly as it requires a fine attention to detail and precision, something I have no place in assuming much skill. However, I’ve had some practice in this area with recipe development and I figure it’s always wise to develop a new skill set for the resume.

Every month, Eric calls me into the bathroom where I find him stripped down to his boxers with his Deluxe hair trimming set splayed about, clutching the large electric trimmer in one hand. This is when I transform into Barber Extraordinaire cutting his hair while catching up on the day’s gossip just like any good stylist would.

The most difficult aspect of this task is by far the point at which I have to trim the base of his hairline and make a very, very, very straight line. The first time I did it, I felt like I was trying to pipe a gingerbread cookie, my hands shaky and my pulse escalating. But now that I’ve been cutting his hair for over 10 years, I swear I could do it in my sleep. It’s really fool proof!!

"Looks good to me", I say with a nod then disappear from the room.

Except this time Eric returned home from work with some rather upsetting news.

"Pete had a good laugh today."

"Oh yea?"

"We were out for lunch and Pete gave a couple glances at the back of my hair. He said ‘Man, who cut your hair…Did you cut it yourself?’”

“I said ‘No, Ange did.’”

That’s when I piped in, “He loved it, right?”

“Then Pete said ‘Did you look at it? Man, you better go take a look at the back of your hair in the mirror. It’s so crooked it looks like a ski slope.’”

I took one look at Eric’s hair and it looked like a 2 year old set loose on it. Pete was right, I botched that cut almost worse than the time I cut off my best friends beautiful long hair as a 5 year old.

“Oh my Goooood. How did I…”

I burst out laughing and could not stop. Tears came, from laughing so hard.

“You’re fired.”

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I tell you, the first day back at the job (he was desperate), was rather anxiety-provoking. I trimmed that hair so straight you could’ve put a laser level on it and it would pass with flying colours. So far, no more comments from Pete, but I might have a few choice words for him next time he’s over.

As for our professional relationship, I’m happy to say that Eric and I have put this matter behind us.

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Thankfully, smoothies, do not require such precision and attention to detail; after all, I make them first thing in the morning when I’m still half asleep. I’ve only had a couple explosions so far.

This Green Monster is great for getting your healthy eating back on track after a series of indulgences. It sets your day on the right tone and instantly makes you feel ah-mazing. For the banana haters out there, you’ll be pleased to know that this one is banana-free. As with any smoothie, feel free to play around with the ingredients to suit your own taste buds. You might like more or less lemon, ginger, apple, etc.

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Back on Track Green Monster (Banana Free)

Email, print, or text this recipe

Yield: 3 cups

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup kale
  • 1 large Gala apple (or other sweet apple), roughly chopped
  • 1 English cucumber, peeled and roughly chopped
  • 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tsp fresh grated ginger
  • 1/2 tbsp coconut oil
  • Maple syrup, to taste (I used 1/2 tbsp or so)
  • 4-5 Ice cubes
  • Protein powder, optional

 

1. Place all ingredients except maple syrup and ice into a high-speed blender and blend on high until very smooth. Blend in ice and maple syrup to taste.

2. Guzzle.

3. Feel amazing.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the US! I hope you have a fun, safe, and happy holiday weekend.

Let's get social! Follow Angela on Instagram (@ohsheglows + @theglowspot), Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Snapchat, and Google+

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{ 16 comments… read them below or add one }

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Tiffany March 21, 2016

Hi Angela!

I tried this recipe today and loved it! The ingredients don’t mention the amount of liquid so I added in 1/2cup of water for half the recipe. I used a green apple and omitted the ginger and it was still plenty sweet for me. Thank you!

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Tiffany March 21, 2016

Forgot to mention I swapped spinach for the kale and it was still great, in case anyone is wondering.

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Chibi December 13, 2015

What’s a good substitute for apples if you’re allergic to that? :\

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Maria July 22, 2015

About two years ago, I (almost suddenly) realized that I absolutely detested bananas. It was very strange, but my Green Monster habit went right out the door with said bananas. No more green smoothies for me. Thank you for creating a (delicious) banana-free recipe that has me craving smoothies again. I always keep these ingredients on hand too – my favorite kind of recipes. I did have to add a bit of coconut water since my even my indesctructable Vitamix had some trouble blending this up. Maybe I need to put the apple at the top next time?

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Amy March 1, 2015

Love that this doesn’t need banana. Having a latex fruit allergy, I find it so hard to make good smoothies without banana and/or avocado. Can’t wait to try this!

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Maria February 9, 2015

Hi, Love the story, but wondering about the green smoothie, what does it do?? is it for energy?? Sorry, I want to start drinking healthy smoothies and would like to know what this one does.
Thanks,
Maria

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Sonia January 25, 2015

This smoothie is amazing and I try to make it at least once a week! it’s delicious and healthy! When I don’t have cucumber, I use frozen celery. Chocolate protein poweder makes it taste like dessert!
thank you so much!

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Haley January 22, 2015

This was really delicious Angela. I added 1 banana and a valencia orange to it to add some more sweetness and used 1 tbsp maple syrup and a cup of coconut water to make it easy to blend. I omitted the ice as well. :) Hope that helps anyone who doesn’t like super cold drinks!

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Haley January 22, 2015

Oops! I forgot to mention I also added a handful of parsley to this. Great way to use then up!

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Irene January 18, 2015

This will be my go-to green smoothie when I’m out of bananas! It’s delicious. Thank you!

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Charlene December 10, 2014

So happy to have found this recipe and your blog :). Have you found a protein powder you love? I’ve been working out consistently in the mornings and would love to make this drink (with extra protein) before my workout. I don’t eat soy btw. Thanks so much!

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Alyssa October 22, 2014

does adding vanilla protein powder change the overall taste?

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Joy October 13, 2014

I used apple cider as my liquid and coconut agave syrup instead of maple syrup. It tastes delicious. I will definitely make this again!!

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Kayleen August 19, 2014

How long will this last in the fridge? I’m a busy a “cook once every few days” kinda girl and I like things that will last. The yield says 3 cups? Will it last 2 – 3 days in the fridge?
Anyone who knows pretty please let me know! :)

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Margaret Webb August 19, 2014

Has anyone ever made a bit extra or tried saving a bit to have later (ie within 24 hrs)? I know fresh is best, but when pressed for time, or not near appliances, just grabbing the extra from the fridge and shaking it up to revive it would be a great snack option at work.

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Ana Luiza June 11, 2014

Hi Angela!

Love this and your pink detox smoothies! Wanted to let you know I featured both on my post about Breakfast smoothies.

evergreenevergrey.blogspot.com/2014/06/top-5-favorite-breakfast-smoothies.html
-Ana Luiza

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