Back On Track Green Monster (Banana-Free)

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green monster 8139 thumb   Back On Track Green Monster (Banana Free)

Aside from my current career in the food business, many of you may not know that I also moonlight as a Barber. The job is not to be taken lightly as it requires a fine attention to detail and precision, something I have no place in assuming much skill. However, I’ve had some practice in this area with recipe development and I figure it’s always wise to develop a new skill set for the resume.

Every month, Eric calls me into the bathroom where I find him stripped down to his boxers with his Deluxe hair trimming set splayed about, clutching the large electric trimmer in one hand. This is when I transform into Barber Extraordinaire cutting his hair while catching up on the day’s gossip just like any good stylist would.

The most difficult aspect of this task is by far the point at which I have to trim the base of his hairline and make a very, very, very straight line. The first time I did it, I felt like I was trying to pipe a gingerbread cookie, my hands shaky and my pulse escalating. But now that I’ve been cutting his hair for over 10 years, I swear I could do it in my sleep. It’s really fool proof!!

"Looks good to me", I say with a nod then disappear from the room.

Except this time Eric returned home from work with some rather upsetting news.

"Pete had a good laugh today."

"Oh yea?"

"We were out for lunch and Pete gave a couple glances at the back of my hair. He said ‘Man, who cut your hair…Did you cut it yourself?’”

“I said ‘No, Ange did.’”

That’s when I piped in, “He loved it, right?”

“Then Pete said ‘Did you look at it? Man, you better go take a look at the back of your hair in the mirror. It’s so crooked it looks like a ski slope.’”

I took one look at Eric’s hair and it looked like a 2 year old set loose on it. Pete was right, I botched that cut almost worse than the time I cut off my best friends beautiful long hair as a 5 year old.

“Oh my Goooood. How did I…”

I burst out laughing and could not stop. Tears came, from laughing so hard.

“You’re fired.”

green monster 8125 thumb   Back On Track Green Monster (Banana Free)

I tell you, the first day back at the job (he was desperate), was rather anxiety-provoking. I trimmed that hair so straight you could’ve put a laser level on it and it would pass with flying colours. So far, no more comments from Pete, but I might have a few choice words for him next time he’s over.

As for our professional relationship, I’m happy to say that Eric and I have put this matter behind us.

green monster 8147 thumb   Back On Track Green Monster (Banana Free)

Thankfully, smoothies, do not require such precision and attention to detail; after all, I make them first thing in the morning when I’m still half asleep. I’ve only had a couple explosions so far.

This Green Monster is great for getting your healthy eating back on track after a series of indulgences. It sets your day on the right tone and instantly makes you feel ah-mazing. For the banana haters out there, you’ll be pleased to know that this one is banana-free. As with any smoothie, feel free to play around with the ingredients to suit your own taste buds. You might like more or less lemon, ginger, apple, etc.

green monster 8141 thumb   Back On Track Green Monster (Banana Free)

Back on Track Green Monster (Banana Free)

Email, print, or text this recipe

Yield: 3 cups

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup kale
  • 1 large Gala apple (or other sweet apple), roughly chopped
  • 1 English cucumber, peeled and roughly chopped
  • 1 tbsp fresh lemon juice
  • 1 tsp fresh grated ginger
  • 1/2 tbsp coconut oil
  • Maple syrup, to taste (I used 1/2 tbsp or so)
  • 4-5 Ice cubes
  • Protein powder, optional

 

1. Place all ingredients except maple syrup and ice into a high-speed blender and blend on high until very smooth. Blend in ice and maple syrup to taste.

2. Guzzle.

3. Feel amazing.

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers in the US! I hope you have a fun, safe, and happy holiday weekend.

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{ 174 comments… read them below or add one }

Lara November 22, 2012

Hi Angela! This looks delicious and I would like to try it soon. My only question is that there doesn’t seem to be a lot of liquid (i.e. no almond milk) in this smoothie. Does it blend/come together okay even without the extra liquid?

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

I added a bit of coconut water to make it come together, but you can use water too! It should be in there now. Enjoy!

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Wanderingi December 29, 2013

I don’t like cold drinks. How much water is needed to replace the ice? Love this whole list!!

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Mommichka December 31, 2013

Hello, Wanderingi, I don’t like cold drinks either so I usually throw in a banana/yogurt for thickening. I would also probably use honey instead of maple syrup. Hope that helps.

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Tanya @ playful and hungry November 24, 2012

If you have a strong mixer, like a vitamix, it will blend. You can add water or what ever liquid you like if you want it thinner though!

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Emily June 5, 2013

It needs a bit of liquid if, like myself, you’re dealing with a 15+ y-o blender.

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Heather November 22, 2012

I’ve only botched my husband’s hair once or twice but luckily it wasn’t too noticeable. Thank goodness he went to a barber for our wedding!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

hah I cut his hair for our wedding too. Now that was stressful!

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kat November 22, 2012

I was sooooooo hoping you were sharing a secret that I could use for trimming my husband’s neckline. I hate to do that part!
Enjoy your day and I do SO thank you for this ‘back on track’ recipe! Got any more up your sleeve? :)

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char eats greens November 22, 2012

I cut Tyler’s hair!! The first time I did I was nervous but also excited cause I had made sure to pay close attention to how the hairdresser did it. Right now though I’m boycotting cutting his hair until after the baby comes because he didn’t want me to highlight mine until then…so we both will look super special in baby’s first pictures haha.

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Christa @ Edible Balance November 22, 2012

I am completely addicted to green smoothies. I’ve been guzzling them after my morning workouts for months now and can’t imagine a day without :)

I don’t think I could cut my husbands hair… my mom is a hair dresser and could probably teach me but I’d be too freaked out. Although now that he is growing out his hair, he refuses to even get it trimmed, LOL… I do love the curls so I won’t make him… yet. ;)

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Rebecca November 22, 2012

Yay! Banana-free! So excited to try this out within the next couple of days :) delish

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Alex @ Raw Recovery November 22, 2012

Hahahaha I adore your Eric stories. You got me hooked on Green Monsters about two years ago and I’ve never looked back, although every time I drink the green my friends and family give me a look. Sigh, the nonbelievers. They don’t understand. Can you make a Green Monster recipe to help boost your mood?? I would LOVE to see an emotional elixir type GM :)

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

you know I love a good challenge…I’ll have to see what I can do. Im thinking something citrus-y

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Alex @ Raw Recovery November 22, 2012

Oooh that sounds delicious! I wonder if some vanilla would be nice in there too? But citrus scents are some of my favorite for aromatherapy mood boosters :)

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Debby Abitz December 25, 2012

As far as a mood booster, I had heard that 2 handfuls of raw cashews equals a prozac. Maybe you could throw them in there as well?

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Jaclyn T November 22, 2012

Oh, this was a good post! My dad gets Mom to cut his hair and this summer it was HIDEOUS on the back. I DIED. TEARS. Even now, I chuckle just thinking about it.

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Geosomin November 22, 2012

This made me smile. My mum used to trim Dad’s hair and when he’d complain, her response would be “well you get what you pay for! ” :)

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

I will have to use that next time! ;)

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Eva November 22, 2012

That is hilarious! My bf always asked me to cut his hair and I totally understand what you mean by trying to get the back straight. The first (and last time) I tried cutting his hair my hand kinda slipped while I was trying to shave the back line and I shaved off a huge chunk in the back! He was not happy. PS- can’t wait to try this smoothie, I got sooo many people hooked on green monster smoothies, my bf can never start his day without one! Thank you for posting such awesome, reliable recipes!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

Thank you for the kind feedback, I appreciate it! Hope you enjoy this one too.

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CJ July 2, 2014

Gahhh!! My mum did the same thing to my dad – only it was a case of the buzz head falling off up top. So he had a destinct shave right down the middle of his head. Opps :)

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laurie November 22, 2012

Thanks for the smoothie recipe. Just a question: why do you put coconut oil in your green smoothie?

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sarah November 26, 2012

I would also like to know why. :)

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 26, 2012

For the health benefits and also for a bit of coconut flavour. My sis got me hooked on it.

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Daniela November 22, 2012

Which trimmer set do you use? Do you recommend investing in a good clipper? I just starting cutting my partner’s hair, and was thinking about getting one of those hard core clippers by Oster, like the Classic 76 that has the metal heads. Or maybe the Fast Feed.

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

I will have to go check the brand for you, but I think he got it from Costco?

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Maria (skinwellness.ca) November 22, 2012

That is so funny! My friend assumed that because I am an esthetician MUST know how to cut hair (hint: NOT!), and I absolutely ruined it! It was so embarrassing for both, he didn’t want to show how upset he was and I was so angry at my self! I should have said no! hahahaa awww… felt so horrible! lol his curls poofed into a horrible triangular ‘fro..

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

Oh man I can only imagine how difficult it is to cut curly hair! I have it easy just buzzing and trimming Eric’s hair.

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Sarah @ Yogi in Action November 22, 2012

haha That story is awesome! I would be terrified to cut my boyfriend’s hair.

However, for Halloween he went as Tin Tin, so we died his regular black hair, to orange, and I was responsible for that. First we had to bleach it and then a few days later, add the orange. When his mom saw it (who use to be a hairdresser), she pulled me aside and was like, “What did you do to his hair?!” thinking that I had bleached it so badly that it had turned orange. Clearly my talent set does not include being a hairdresser.

I’m a wimp so have held out from trying green smoothies because I don’t want to have a gross breakfast. All these comments are bolstering up my courage though.. maybe tomorrow

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

I was trying to convince Eric to let me bleach his hair for Halloween a while ago. No dice yet…
I bet that orange was fun :) Did it wash out ok?

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Sarah @ Yogi in Action November 22, 2012

We (unfortunately) used a permenant dye. And he made me wait a couple of weeks before he would let me re-dye it. So he just had really orange hair (with black roots) for a couple of weeks. Next time I would use a wash out colour!

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Afton November 22, 2012

About two weeks ago, I started having your classic green monster for breakfast in the morning and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. I seriously go to bed at night excited to wake up and have my smoothie! Once the excitement of that one wears off, maybe I’ll try this new one :)

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

hah I love that you enjoy it so much! I get excited over them too :)

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Melanie November 22, 2012

Great post and cute story :) I’m go glad I found your green monster site. I’ve been having one almost every day since the summer now and I love them! I haven’t tried one with kale yet, only baby spinach, but I think I’ll give it a go!

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Averie @ Averie Cooks November 22, 2012

Love the barber and hair stories :)

And the light bouncing off these jars, the pretty green inside them, they look positively fabulous and healthy and green and good and just a good thing to have amidst all the holiday goodies!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

Thanks Averie :) Happy Thanksgiving!

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Maria November 22, 2012

Haha. My husband doesn’t let me near with scissors! Eric is such a trouper :)

I don’t really like bananas anymore (shocker, I know), yet I haven’t been able to make a good smoothie without one. Cannot wait to try this one!

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Alexa November 22, 2012

this looks totally delicious !!!
http://www.alexavoncanisius.com/blog/

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Michelle W November 22, 2012

Thanks for posting this recipe! I’m allergic to bananas and finding banana-free healthy recipes is always a chore.

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Julie R. November 27, 2012

Also allergic to bananas here (raw ones, can eat cooked ones like in banana bread and such), and became discouraged when I recently became interested in trying green monsters and realized most recipes have bananas in them! Excited when I saw this recipe. I am hoping to get a vitamix in the next few months (maybe Christmas?!) so I can really do decent green monsters with kale and other hard to blend things. My little blender is barely cutting it with spinach! Hope to find more no-banana recipes like this. Thanks for the recipe, Angela!

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Jennie December 26, 2012

I used to get debilitating migraines so bad until someone told me to try cutting out uncooked bananas. I did and voila…..no more headaches. I am now so fearful of uncooked bananas. Anyway, I want to make more smoothies but I miss the banana texture and sweetness. Have you found any more smoothie recipes that are sweet and satisfying but do not have bananas in them? Thanks!!! :-)

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ashley January 5, 2013

I wonder if avocado would mimic the banana texture?

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Jennie January 22, 2013

I will give avocado a try. Good idea :-)

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Fit Missy November 22, 2012

Will try to make this but worried my blender won’t handle the kale.

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Rajvinder Kaur November 22, 2012

OMG! I trim my husband’s hair too sometimes and once my hands trembled so much that instead of a trim, he had a whole new “style” afterwards. Haha!

I make my smoothies using Kale, Water, Chai seeds, and bananas. I will add coconut oil next time…

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Melissa@American Girl in Jordan November 22, 2012

Funny story! I will never cut my husband’s hair. When he was younger, he was a barber, and he is so particular about his hair. I also make him cut our 2 sons’ hair. Why pay for a cut, when I have his talent at home!
BTW, a green monster sounds great right about…..NOW!

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Nicole Marie Story November 22, 2012

This made me laugh so hard because although I don’t have a hubaroo, I do have a precious little duchess of a dog… and last winter? She jumped onto a park bench, sitting in gum! Gum on le Bum! And because I was impatient with the old home remedies of peanut butter, ice, etcetera; I snipped it off! And her bottom flaunted an uneven cut for a few months. :)

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osgmom November 22, 2012

I will never forget that day you decided to begin your Hair Styling career at the early age of 4!! I answered the door to see a very unhappy Mom standing with her daughter beside her. Carrie’s long blonde locks cut off by the hands of a very creative little girl (we won’t mention names) who decided that her playmate should have a new look ;) Although it wasn’t funny at that moment, it sure is now!!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

hahah I don’t remember much from 4 years old, but I do remember bits and pieces of that event!

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Katrina @ Warm Vanilla Sugar November 22, 2012

You know, I’ve never made a smoothie without banana before! I find it adds creaminess, but I’ll definitely give this a try :)

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Stefanie @ Thin Vegetarian November 22, 2012

I guess there is a good reason that my brother refuses to let my mom cut his hair!

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Kimmy November 22, 2012

Oh dear… your barber story is pretty cute. Pete was probably the only one that noticed anyway. Guys aren’t as observant as we are ;p
This smoothie looks great! I quite like bananas, but am looking forward to trying this out!

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Becky November 22, 2012

Hi Angela, cute story! I didn’t see any liquid added in the ingredients list. How much did you add? Thanks!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 22, 2012

1/2 cup coconut water (or just use water) :)

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Janine November 22, 2012

Oh, the joys of cutting hair… With a clipper the cut isn’t too bad, it’s the clean-up that frustrates me more!

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Laura November 22, 2012

Glad to hear I’m not the only person who cuts their husbands hair, whilst said husband is only in boxers :)

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 25, 2012

hahah ;)

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Kari @ bite-sized thoughts November 22, 2012

That hair cutting story is brilliant :)

This green monster is also deserving of its monster title – serious nutrition in a glass!

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Stacey November 22, 2012

Hi Angela,

Do you use a specific juicer or smoothie machine? Looking to invest in a good one.

Thanks,
Stacey

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Angela (Oh She Glows) November 25, 2012

Hey Stacey, I own a Vitamix (after years of blenders breaking on me) a great investment!

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Joann @ Woman in Real Life November 22, 2012

Great smoothie and a great story! You are a brave woman. I wouldn’t even attempt the hair cutting. :)

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Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat November 22, 2012

Hehehe great story Ange!! I used to trim my own bangs but that definitely has a larger margin for error than a guy’s hairline! I have to say, every time I’ve seen Eric, things have looked pretty straight, so I’d say you’re decent at your night job! ;) This green monster sounds so so good, especially the ginger and apple part! I’ve been juicing tons lately and ginger has been added to everything!

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Sarah L. November 22, 2012

Hahahahaha I just read this aloud to my partner and he just rolled his eyes at me. I’ve cut his hair a few times, but most of the time when he needs it he doesn’t wait for me and does it himself – and he looks like Alfalfa. :D I’d rather him mess up his hair than me, though!

This GM looks awesome, I’ll have to try it! A change from my usual banana mango. :)

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Madison @ Pilates Makes You Happy November 22, 2012

I am generally not a smoothie girl, but this actually was really good!! The no banana gives it a way different taste from other smoothies!

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Kathleen @ Kat's Health Corner November 22, 2012

What a gorgeous green color!!! Green smoothies always make me feel vibrant and more alive inside and out! :D

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Meghan November 23, 2012

hey! I resent that banana hating comment. I have a wax food allergy. Bananas and I wish we were friends, but were not. I’m excited to try this though!

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Katie November 23, 2012

Oh geeze. I’ve been cutting my husband’s hair for about that long as well, and luckily most of the mishaps have been his fault (he does the front, I do the back) not mine. This smoothie looks great – I wish I had read this a few hours ago as the husband took the last banana this morning which was supposed to be for my green smoothie! And let me tell you, frozen spinach, strawberries, and yoghurt isn’t so good without the banana. I’ll be trying this next time, thanks for the recipe!

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