We Are Never Alone

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IMG 0789   We Are Never Alone

I received this message from a reader named Serena and thought it was so powerful I asked her if I could share it with you.

From Serena:

If I have one Universal message for you it is this:

You are loved, supported, valued, cherished, appreciated, honoured, admired and respected. At every moment.

By the Source that holds you in love at every moment.

There is no moment here you have been left, nor could be.

You can do anything. The very best is wanted for you.

You are never alone. You are always loved.

No matter how difficult things seem, you are always being lifted up, even when you feel alone.

No matter how big a leap in life seems, you are greater than the distance you must jump.

You are free. You are able. You are complete.

Lots of love,
Serena

Coincidentally, Serena ended up leaving me this message on ‘one of those days’ when I was feeling pretty crappy and just needed to reframe my perspective. Lately, the anxiety that I’ve struggled with for many years, has started to creep back into my life and I’ve had a difficult time dealing with it on my own. Sometimes it’s anxiety about not feeling good enough or about my body; other times it’s about judgment from others or even feeling alone. If you’ve ever suffered from anxiety, you probably know that it has no limits and it can quickly impact your day to day life. To this day, I strongly believe that my eating disorder was a coping mechanism for my anxiety.

Anxiety usually breeds more anxiety which sucks. I feel more anxiety because I’m not supposed to be struggling with this anymore. I’m supposed to be past this. I’m supposed to be inspiring others. How can I do that when I’m struggling myself?

But I’m only human.

It’s easy to lose sight of the big picture and get bogged down by negative thoughts that loop in our minds, but often, all it takes is a positive message to set those thoughts on the right track again, or even give us hope that we can change. That is what Serena’s message did for me. Her message reminded me that we all struggle and even if we’ve made great progress with things in our lives, sometimes they need more care and attention once and a while.

I receive a lot of emails from other women (and occasionally men) who are struggling with accepting themselves, finding a career they enjoy, ending a bad relationship, illness/injury, or even feeling accepted by their own family. Our struggles may be different on the surface, but what remains true for most of us is that we want to feel love and support from the people that matter to us. That will never change.

And usually that love and support is already there, but we fail to see it. We fail to open ourselves to accept it. We have to be vulnerable to let love into our lives. We have to take risks to make progress.

I’ve always loved quotes. I’ve always loved writing with my heart on my sleeve, knowing that others will connect with words on a screen, in a way that I will never know. I’ve always loved the power that a simple message can have.

Serena’s message inspired me to start working on my struggles with anxiety again. But, I know that I can’t do it alone, so I’ve decided to start seeing a psychologist again to help me with some unresolved issues in my past. I’ve had great success with therapy, and I know I will again. It’s scary though- even for me who has done it before- to open up and make myself vulnerable, but I know that I’ll be just fine. I debated for a while whether I would write this post or not, but I realized that if I didn’t, I would be missing the point.

I’m sharing this with you today in hopes that it connects with you on some level, no matter what you may be dealing with at this very moment. Maybe you got up this morning and the first thing you did was examine your stomach and thighs in the mirror, cringing, while vowing to lose weight. Maybe you struggle with alcoholism, bulimia, abusive relationships, shopping addiction, or perhaps you have the life you dream of and just feel guilty over the thought that something is still missing. 

The best thing we can do when we’re struggling is reaching out to another person. The worst thing is to assume that no one cares or will judge us for our struggles.

We are never alone.

~~~

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”~Ambrose Redmoon

“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ~M. Scott Peck

“We are all functioning at a small fraction of our capacity to live fully in its total meaning of loving, caring, creating and adventuring. Consequently, the actual­izing of our potential can become the most exciting adventure of our lifetime.” – Herbert Ottto

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{ 211 comments… read them below or add one }

Heidi July 5, 2011

Great post, thanks so much for sharing. Nice to know those who suffer from anxiety are not alone, it’s such a struggle to even get through the day when you are in this place.
Love the quote by Herbert Ottto as well ;)
Heidi

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Ashley July 5, 2011

I really appreciate your honesty and you sharing your struggles. You’re very brave! I have a lot of anxiety too which I think leads me to have eating issues, as it does with you.

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Jaime July 5, 2011

There are no words for how helpful and timely this post is. Every single word of it.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

<3

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The Teenage Taste July 5, 2011

That is an amazing message. I think I might just print it out and hang it on my wall. It’s very inspiring! :-D

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Cait's Plate July 5, 2011

Good for you taking that very important step. I’m a firm believer in therapy and think that, no matter what, it at least helps to talk to a 3rd party about what you’re feeling. Sometimes you even end up talking yourself through things – it just helps us to become more self aware.

I hope you’re able to find the relief you need and deserve :)

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Kerry July 5, 2011

Beautiful, heartfelt post, that I think a lot of us can relate to. I have struggled (and still do on a daily basis) with anxiety issues as well. I’ve learned that we need to make an effort to fight the anxiety in hopes of it not ruining our day, etc. It is easy to be sad, worry, angry, etc., but it is a challenge at some points to accept our situations and be happy. With my husband deployed, every day is like that for me, but I try to make it a point to make each day as good as it can be. Cheers!

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Faith @ lovelyascharged July 5, 2011

This post in and of itself is so inspiring, Ange! I have a hard time accepting my own anxiety for the same reason – I sit and blog about how I moved past it, and when those thoughts happen, it’s a double whammy – they suck to begin with, coupled with the fact that I thought I was much stronger than that…but I came to realize – those thoughts don’t indicate strength or weakness; it’s our reaction to those thoughts and our own ability to reroute those messages into something positive that we can grow from. You’re obviously in a much better place than you were in the past, and unfortunately where we are isn’t static (that’s a great thing when we’re feeling down but not so awesome when we feel amazing and would like to cling to the feeling!) but the best part is that we can embrace where we are, what we’re feeling, and react to it in the best way possible.

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Brenda July 5, 2011

I am so glad that you posted this. I too suffer from anxiety. It got so bad at the end of April, I felt like I was having a 2 month long panic attack. I thought that everything that I did was going to hurt me. I have never had it this bad. So I finally decided to see a therapist for the first time. She recommended a book called The Feeling Good Handbook. It has helped me figure out the distortions in my thinking. Thank you for the quotes.

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Marcela July 5, 2011

You just made my day!
Everything you said just make sense, hope it helps more people to feel loved and supported
Thanks!
Saying hi from Mexico!
Have a nice day everyone!

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Danielle July 5, 2011

Thank you so much for sharing this post. It could not have come at a better time for me. I needed to hear those words too.

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Katie @ Nourishing Flourishing July 5, 2011

Angela, I’m so grateful for your transparency. This post resonated with me on so many levels. I have always struggled with anxiety, and I know that it was a huge factor in my disordered eating and thinking habits of the past. I have found myself noticing that anxiety is creeping back into my life as well lately (my husband and I try to soften the weight of it by jokingly referring to it as The Vortex), and am considering what my best plan for processing through it will be in this season.

Anxiety is such a strange thing; it has always felt so elusive to me, like a vapor I can see but can’t really grasp and hold onto, or control… which makes it all the more frustrating to deal with. Perhaps that is why many of us feel the need to make it tangible in some way (like an eating disorder, which we can usually physically observe). Anyway, I’m so glad you chose to share this, as I think it is a very common issue, that still remains senselessly “taboo.” You’ve done your readers (myself obviously included) a great favor by modeling a healthy way of dealing with a reality many of us know all too well.

Those quotes at the end are so apt. I’ll be writing them down :)

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Angela (Oh She Glows) July 5, 2011

Thanks Katie :) I understand about it not being tangible…I often feel like I can’t explain it to others either because it seems to irrational most of the time. Funny, how one can recognize that something is irrational, but still feel the anxiety anyways. I think that is where therapy comes into play.

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Liv @ The Salty n' Sweet July 5, 2011

Wow what a great quote and a thoughtful email from Serena. I think it’s so important to show others that they’re not alone, even when you don’t know if they’re struggling. And it’s just as important to reach out and ask for help and support. It’s really easy to get so wrapped up in your own emotions and fears that you forget that there are so many people in whom you can confide, and so many people who support you. A great reminder that we really aren’t ever alone, but it’s our own alienation that makes us feel alone.

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Jen @newellnd July 5, 2011

Great Message! I think I will have it printed to pass along to my patients.
I find that certain things appear in our lives right when we need them. I had it happen profoundly a few years ago after a really tough breakup during a time when I found I was uncertain about my path in life. A friend recommended the book “The Saint, The Surfer and The CEO” by Robin Sharma to me. I read it cover to cover, twice over a 2 month period and honestly believe that it help refocus my perspective and gave me more motivation.
Check it out, Robin Sharma writes amazing books.

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Angela (Oh She Glows) July 5, 2011

Thanks I will check it out!

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Lindsey @ Happy or Hungry July 5, 2011

I think I really needed to read this today…
This was a really great post Angela, thank you for sharing, and being so honest. Your quotes are so inspiring…and true! :)

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zoe (and the beatles) July 5, 2011

this was a really lovely, raw, and beautiful post. thanks so much for sharing angela. i recently started therapy and i am so happy i did! what a world of difference. good luck :)

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cathy July 5, 2011

oh, angela, THANK YOU for sharing this post today. i so appreciate your honesty in how you’ve been feeling lately.
i just have to share this with you: i tend to get anxious, too. this morning, i really found myself overthinking. all of a sudden, i got the message “you are not alone” strongly and clearly. God was making his presence felt. I even wrote that down on a sticky and it’s here beside my computer. THEN, i check your blog and saw your post. wow.
all the best as you move forward and i commend you for taking the steps you need to take. (hug!)

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Angela (Oh She Glows) July 5, 2011

awww :)

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Radha July 5, 2011

I love you Angela and only want the best for you. Thank you for the post, trusting your readers, and being so open. I am sure you will see your own beauty just like I see it. May God bless you.

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Val July 5, 2011

I started getting anxiety in college and have continued to deal with it for the past few years. I recently started going to acupuncture which has worked so well at controlling or at least minimizing my anxiety. Not sure if you have ever tried it before but it has helped me a lot!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) July 5, 2011

No I havent tried it, but Ive always wondered about it! Thanks for sharing :)

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Jen @newellnd July 5, 2011

I would be more than happy to talk to you about the use of natural therapies for anxiety. I have a special interest in mental health, particularly the effects of stress and anxiety. If you ever want to get together please don’t hesitate to contact me.

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Emily@Perfection Isn't Happy July 5, 2011

This is just what I needed to read today- thank you so much for posting. I have been down on myself because I haven’t found a job since graduating in May. I am anxious about my future since it is so unknown, and I am just an anxious person in general. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one.

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Clare July 5, 2011

I’ll join in and say that I am so glad you could share this. I was up late last night talking to my husband about my anxiety and how it affects my family and now you made me feel like I am not alone either! Thank you!

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Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat July 5, 2011

Totally emailing you… like right.this.second.

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Gina @ Running to the Kitchen July 5, 2011

Thanks for sharing Angela. Wish you the best working through it.

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Elizabeth July 5, 2011

I am touched that you felt you could share this raw honesty with all of us – strangers, really, coming together all because of your beautiful website. Thank you for trusting us. We’re all struggling with something, Angela. You are not alone. This life is hard and filled with lessons that we need to learn. On a lighter note, I LOVE therapy and feel that we all should be in therapy – everyday! Peace to you.

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Andrea B. @ Vegvacious July 5, 2011

This is a great post Angela ~ it’s so nice to see that we all have the same struggles and it is OKAY to admit it and to seek help. I think that message from Sabrina is amazing — it is nice to be reminded of that regardless of where you are in your life.

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Julie July 5, 2011

Angela,

You are strong, beautiful, creative and inspiring. You have all the tools around you to help you get through this… they are us. You are not alone!

xxoo,
Julie

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kaila @ healthy helper! July 5, 2011

Wow what a wonderful quote! So powerful and definitely something I can use right now. Good for you for doing something for yourself and being able to recognize when you need some outside help. That is an essential, amazing trait!

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Grace @ Healthy Dreaming July 5, 2011

Good luck with everything. This post was VERY brave.

My favorite courage quote “Courage does not always roar. sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow”

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Alyssa July 5, 2011

Thank you so much for sharing. My husband and I have walked through anxiety a few years back so we understand. At church on Sunday our Pastor even shared some of his struggles with depression and anxiety. I love when people that inspire us (like you Angela!) are able to be transparent. I feel like the Bible describes us best “fragile clay pots”. When our pastor read that as part of the sermon Sunday I felt like it was perfect for how I had been feeling. Sorry I don’t know what you believe but this was an amazing message if you have any interest in watching it http://redrockschurch.com/sermon/i-am-second–bethany-hamilton/.

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Melodie July 5, 2011

Thank you for sharing this link Alyssa! I have struggled with depression for years, and the way he described having no hope in this message was so transparent. I am still listening to it, but wanted to say thank you :)

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Lindsey @ Why Just Eat July 5, 2011

Thank you so much for sharing such a great message today. I think we all have a tendency to feel alone – alone in our grief, alone in our body image problems, alone in our relationship struggles. But we can always find someone who has walked that road before us and survived to tell the tale :)

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Katie July 5, 2011

Exactly the post I needed to read this morning. Thanks for the reminder.

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Karen July 5, 2011

Thanks so much for this – I really love Serena’s message and I would like to post it in my house to remind me. I have OCD and GAD — plus two kids that brought on PPD– anxiety (and acronyms apparently!) rules my life. I am glad to know that I am not alone! (and my remedy for difficult days – a long walk puts everything back in focus — plus raises serotonin levels!… and a little ylang ylang on the pillow or in a hot bath). your vegan chocolate cupcakes work too!!

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Rebecca July 5, 2011

Thank you for wearing your heart on your sleeve because it encourages the rest of us to be more open about what we are feeling and struggling with. I needed to read this today. Negative, self-deprecating and anxious thoughts sneak in so subtly but are SO powerful. I am very thankful that we don’t need to live in the low spots. I’m glad you are taking the step toward therapy. Keep glowing — from the inside out! Your light has a far greater impact than you will ever know!

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sam July 5, 2011

Thank you so much for this post! It could not have come at a more perfect moment in my life :-)

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Danielle July 5, 2011

Sending you hugs and strength! The best thing you can do for yourself, (as you know!) is to talk to someone if you think it will help. Asking for that help is so difficult (took me a very long time to) but you know yourself, so trust yourself in the decision. You are never alone!

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Clare @ Fitting It All In July 5, 2011

Angela,
You help SO many people, including me. This post comes at a perfect time as I’m returning to some insecurities and bad habits from my past. Your courage to write about this and to go back to a counselor is so inspiring and I may have to do the same.
THANK YOU!
Clare

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Heather (heathers dish) July 5, 2011

I’m going to keep it simple and just give a big fat AMEN to this. Beautiful post Angela!

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Leanne (Bride to Mrs.) July 5, 2011

I’ve dealt (and still, am dealing) with anxiety from a young age. It’s not an easy thing to get over and it’s very easy to get consumed by it. I also went to therapy (when I was 18 or so) and now when I start getting anxious, I can realize it… and I can see that my thoughts aren’t neccessarily true.

Thanks for writing this post.

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Leslie July 5, 2011

Love, love, love this! You are such an inspiration ♥

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Sam@I Tell Stories July 5, 2011

Hi Angela

Thanks for posting this. I think there are alot of people out there that think that only “crazy” people should be going to therapy or need a counsellor. When, really, emotional and mental health play a HUGE role in your overall health and well-being. Anyone should feel comfortable seeking a counsellor. There is no issue too big or too small.

I hope that this post will encourage others to feel free to ask for help.

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Jess July 5, 2011

Thank you for writing with your heart on your sleeve…today’s blog couldn’t have come at a more perfect time for me.

Something you said really resonated truth with me: “What remains true for most of us is that we want to feel love and support from the people that matter to us. That will never change. And usually that love and support is already there, but we fail to see it.”

I agree whole-heartedly with this, but I also think it’s important to spend time evaluating the quality of our relationships and who we turn to for love and support. Something that can also create an enormous amount of anxiety (atleast speaking from my own experience) is when someone matters so much to us, but we may not matter as much to them. Seeking love from someone who doesn’t quite share the same deep-rooted feelings can only cause one to spiral down the rabbit hole, wondering what personal flaw must be getting in the way and preventing someone from showing us the love and support we are looking for.

Sending lots of positive thoughts your way as you have come to a rocky patch in life – thank you for sharing and for your constant honesty.

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Angela (Oh She Glows) July 5, 2011

Jess that is so very true. Great point!

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