I received this message from a reader named Serena and thought it was so powerful I asked her if I could share it with you.
From Serena:
If I have one Universal message for you it is this:
You are loved, supported, valued, cherished, appreciated, honoured, admired and respected. At every moment.
By the Source that holds you in love at every moment.
There is no moment here you have been left, nor could be.
You can do anything. The very best is wanted for you.
You are never alone. You are always loved.
No matter how difficult things seem, you are always being lifted up, even when you feel alone.
No matter how big a leap in life seems, you are greater than the distance you must jump.
You are free. You are able. You are complete.
Lots of love,
Serena
Coincidentally, Serena ended up leaving me this message on ‘one of those days’ when I was feeling pretty crappy and just needed to reframe my perspective. Lately, the anxiety that I’ve struggled with for many years, has started to creep back into my life and I’ve had a difficult time dealing with it on my own. Sometimes it’s anxiety about not feeling good enough or about my body; other times it’s about judgment from others or even feeling alone. If you’ve ever suffered from anxiety, you probably know that it has no limits and it can quickly impact your day to day life. To this day, I strongly believe that my eating disorder was a coping mechanism for my anxiety.
Anxiety usually breeds more anxiety which sucks. I feel more anxiety because I’m not supposed to be struggling with this anymore. I’m supposed to be past this. I’m supposed to be inspiring others. How can I do that when I’m struggling myself?
But I’m only human.
It’s easy to lose sight of the big picture and get bogged down by negative thoughts that loop in our minds, but often, all it takes is a positive message to set those thoughts on the right track again, or even give us hope that we can change. That is what Serena’s message did for me. Her message reminded me that we all struggle and even if we’ve made great progress with things in our lives, sometimes they need more care and attention once and a while.
I receive a lot of emails from other women (and occasionally men) who are struggling with accepting themselves, finding a career they enjoy, ending a bad relationship, illness/injury, or even feeling accepted by their own family. Our struggles may be different on the surface, but what remains true for most of us is that we want to feel love and support from the people that matter to us. That will never change.
And usually that love and support is already there, but we fail to see it. We fail to open ourselves to accept it. We have to be vulnerable to let love into our lives. We have to take risks to make progress.
I’ve always loved quotes. I’ve always loved writing with my heart on my sleeve, knowing that others will connect with words on a screen, in a way that I will never know. I’ve always loved the power that a simple message can have.
Serena’s message inspired me to start working on my struggles with anxiety again. But, I know that I can’t do it alone, so I’ve decided to start seeing a psychologist again to help me with some unresolved issues in my past. I’ve had great success with therapy, and I know I will again. It’s scary though- even for me who has done it before- to open up and make myself vulnerable, but I know that I’ll be just fine. I debated for a while whether I would write this post or not, but I realized that if I didn’t, I would be missing the point.
I’m sharing this with you today in hopes that it connects with you on some level, no matter what you may be dealing with at this very moment. Maybe you got up this morning and the first thing you did was examine your stomach and thighs in the mirror, cringing, while vowing to lose weight. Maybe you struggle with alcoholism, bulimia, abusive relationships, shopping addiction, or perhaps you have the life you dream of and just feel guilty over the thought that something is still missing.
The best thing we can do when we’re struggling is reaching out to another person. The worst thing is to assume that no one cares or will judge us for our struggles.
We are never alone.
~~~
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”~Ambrose Redmoon
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ~M. Scott Peck
“We are all functioning at a small fraction of our capacity to live fully in its total meaning of loving, caring, creating and adventuring. Consequently, the actualizing of our potential can become the most exciting adventure of our lifetime.” – Herbert Ottto
Thanks for this! I know all too well about anxiety and depression and have also felt it creeping back into my life lately. I try so hard to have people see the “perfect” me. I always try to have a smile and a willing heart. As a young wife and mother I feel like I should be able to do everything, like people won’t have compassion and understanding if I can’t do it all. I constantly do things for others and then fear asking them to do anything for me.
I’ve worked hard over the last year to lose 80lbs, get healthy and feel like I could really enjoy life. I have really enjoyed doing all kinds of special outings with my son (I’m a stay at home mom) and spending time with our dog. Until a month ago I got sick. The doctor never figured out what was wrong. And since then I’ve had several muscle/nerve injuries. It gets pretty depressing when you felt like you were such a physically fit person and all of a sudden BOOM, you can’t exercise (because everything hurts) and you don’t have enough energy to enjoy anything. Its frustrating. Then you have pressure from in-laws and friends to “expand your family” when everyone else is having more children. That’s a tough area for me. Our daughter would have been 1 this week, I miscarried 1.5 years ago. Everything just makes me feel like everyone else is passing me by and I’m stuck going backwards. oh geez, thanks for letting me “talk”. And thanks for being so real with your followers on here!
Just thank you :)
Thank you to you, Angela, and Serena, and every body else who is inspirational.
I would say that I have an eating disorder, and at a very young age. At the age where your eating disorder started. But now, I try to resolve it. I’m not depriving myself anymore, although I would say I binge every now and then (I’m not sure if I do it in purpose though…). But the thing is, I’m changing. I’m living healthier, put in some exercise, and yeah.
It was not until I read your post did I finally realize this. We ARE never alone. Out there, there are thousands of people who suffer from the same disorders, diseases, and crises. And I’m happy to know that I’m not alone. Thank you, again ;)
Thank you and Serena for such a lovely post and message. It rings volumes with me.
Thank you for posting this. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for about 5 years and I was waiting for the day it will all be over and I will no longer have this issue. Your post made me realize that unfortunately that day will not come. It will be something I have to cope with for my entire life and in a way that was very relieving to me. I know now that I need to take it day by day and find what it is that bring me happiness.
I often find blogs put on a happy face and send the message that life is easy and once they have battled their issues, whether it be weight loss, anxiety or anything really, that life is perfect and they haven’t looked back since. That is discouraging for readers because it makes us think that there is something wrong with us if we can’t reach their level of contentment. I look forward to hearing about your journey as I feel like it might help mine :) xoxo
Danielle
Wow I loved this quote Angela: “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers.” ~M. Scott Peck.
I find that to be so true because it is when we are being molded, shaped, and broken that we truly grow. Without trimming a rose bush, how can we expect it to grow healthily? I hope you keep going forth in strength and courage Angela! Remember that you don’t have to be perfect to help others…or else, no one in this world would be making a difference :)
What a courageous post Angela – thankyou for sharing it with us :)
ps – I made your butternut mac n cheese last night and it was oh so delicious! http://www.bakebikeblog.com/2011/07/butternut-pumpkin-mac-n-cheese-gluten.html
Thanks SO much for this post! I too struggle with anxiety, and it seems to be resurfacing more now that I’m a new mom of two little ones, working pt. time from home, and sort of feeling out of the flow of my peers but also excited about the possibilities of where I’m at. If only I could silence all the negative ‘what ifs’ that creep into my thoughts. It’s a daily process, I suppose. Once again, your blog connected with me and gave me a boost. You really do amazing work! :)
What a beautiful post! Thanks so much for opening up and sharing with us, your readers. We really appreciate it. It makes me feel like I’m not alone!
i stumbled across your blog by accident about a week ago. I am hooked and your sharing this comes at a time I am going through a similar situation. Thank you for sharing!
It made me cry. Thank you so much for opening up. At times it seems like you’re *always* happy and energetic. And it feels good to know that I’m not the only one struggling with anxiety. I feel sometimes that I have to be always happy and grateful for everything I have in life (especially since I overcame my eating disorder several years ago), yet I woke up this morning feeling out of control in so many aspects of my life and really struggled to put a smile on my face for my husband who deserves to see it every day. Thank you Angela.
As a psychologist-in-training (and a therapy-goer myself), I am so touched that you would disclose that you are starting to see a psychologist. While I am sorry to hear that you are struggling, I am inspired by how your candor may impact your many, many readers. I have no doubt that your honesty will help many, many readers take one step closer towards confronting whatever it is that is causing them distress, all in the pursuit of living a meaningful, value-driven life. I hope you know that what you do and what you write has a huge impact on others, myself included.
Thank you. Thank you so, so much. <3
I love that you are so honest about your struggles. In fact, where you said “I’m supposed to be inspiring others. How can I do that when I’m struggling myself?”… to me, that is one way that you are inspiring- you’re so honest about it… But even when you’re struggling yourself, you have that determination that you’re not going to slip back into those old habits, no matter how easy it would be. That’s incredibly inspiring to me. I know how much easier it is to numb yourself by counting numbers and obsessing over that again, rather than face the powerful emotions that drive us to that obsession… but you’re choosing the more difficult choice – to face and deal with that anxiety and those emotions. And to be honest about your journey. And to show that struggling is normal, and it’s a part of this journey.
You are absolutely amazing. I love that you are so honest and open with your struggles – I think that’s why you are so loved – because people can identify with you! I pray you find peace once again!
I love, love, love your blog Angela. It’s the thing I look forward to most when I turn my computer on each morning.
I’m healing from a long term injury and anxiety plus binge eating slowly crept back into my life for a while. I felt angry at myself for being back there again. I thought I had overcome those struggles years ago.
I think it was just a reminder to take better care of my emotional needs.
This post came at the perfect time. So meaningful and appreciated! thanks :)
Powerful post! Thank you so much for your openness and honesty.
I am so sorry to hear you have been having trouble again, but I am glad you are taking charge of the anxiety daemon, rather than letting it take charge of you!
I never commented on your blog before but this was a great post! I also suffer from anxiety. It makes me feel that I dont enjoy this great life I have to the fullest, which makes me sad and then more anxious. I’ve been in therapy on and off since I graduated college (almost 10 years ago) and have loved it. Good luck! What’s better than an hour ever week or so to talk just about yourself? Its a struggle and it sucks at times, but it is what makes you who you are, so embrace it and learn how to keep yourself while losing the anxiety.
Sometimes I think you are in my head, Angela – I deeply relate to your struggles and my heart goes out to you… To boot, your honesty is beautiful and your openness is refreshing. It is people like YOU, who practice VISIBILITY in their presentations of themselves to the rest of the world that actually change it for the better. Don’t stop, please. You rock. :)
xo
Desi