Regardless of what everyone’s opinion was on the matter, I think it is clear that I touched on a subject that most of us feel quite passionate about. I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments and seeing what your take on the matter was.
I think what actually happened was that the comments became more about social comparison in general, not just specific to running. That was actually a second post that I had in mind.
I wanted to highlight some of the comments:
“I have a running blog, and while other running blogs inspire me to make sure I run most days of the week, I actually feel guilty reading food blogs. Oh Lord, if I posted what I ate…no one would read it and they would be so disgusted. I don’t eat Greek yogurt or tofu or smoothies with kale in them, even though I wish I could (just can’t stomach it I guess!) I’m not a vegan or know what the heck eating “raw” means. So sometimes I do feel bad about my eating when I read about someone who eats very well.
BUT, I’ve LEARNED a lot from these food bloggers, like Clif bars are delicious and it’s cool to eat lots of fruit, drink some wine and maybe not always stuff your face with sweets.
It’s finding a balance, I guess. I can’t run 19 miles, but reading about another blogger that can might inspire me to go on a nice 7-miler run. There’s no shame, because everyone is different and training for something different. :)”
I love this comment because it is honest and vulnerable. It shows that all of us take different things from the blogs we read and no one blog is going to perfectly represent what we are looking for.
And that is ok!
Just as we wouldn’t expect our family, partner, or best friend to be like us in every way, it is important to recognize that each blogger is doing the best they can with the resources that they have. Blogs aren’t a ‘one size fits all’ thing.
More comments:
“I’ve felt a bit of that pressure brought upon by food blogs to workout EVERYDAY. It’s not necessarily the running but moreso the pressure to discover that new, exciting workout and “tell everyone about it.” Remember when yoga got REALLY popular on the blogs? Or Shredding? Or even, completely unrelated to food or exercise, the pressure to do ‘fun stuff’ so that it can be written about on the blog. So what if we have boring days. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up about that. I know my lifestyle best, and I know what my body can take. It’s just convincing myself that it’s okay to be confident even on an ‘off’ day.”
It really is quite funny how the blog world goes through fitness and health trends! I guess we aren’t immune to social media either, right?
More on working out:
“I have a food and fitness blog and it used to be hard for me to see that I workout much less than some other bloggers because it’s my career! I’m more short and sweet when it comes to the gym and seeing people do 10 miles AND a full strength workout was tough.
I learned after reading for awhile that everyone is different and although I don’t necessarily put in as much time, it works for me so I’m sticking with it. Everything you said was spot on!”
“I definitely appreciate this post. I graduated from college last year, where I had developed an eating disorder. In addition to that, I definitely put a ton of pressure on myself to exercise because “everyone” that I knew at school was always at the gym, too.
Since graduating, I think that I have used food/fitness blogs to compare my healthy eating and exercise habits. I will be honest when I say that I still feel guilt when I don’t exercise and that I beat myself up over a “not healthy” eating day. Because I read numerous blogs, the little splurges and rest days that people have don’t really register because, with all of the blogs combined, someone is always busting out a killer workout or eating a huge salad. I find that I compare myself with the best of the best on any given day, which leads to impossible expectations! Whew – thanks for the reality check.”
“Brilliant post – couldn’t have been timed better for me today! I just had to change my upcoming race from a half to a 10k due to a foot problem I’ve always had that’s causing me pain… and I’m pretty upset about it. Though I’m upset for myself and my goals, I’m also worried about how others will view me “quitting” from the half. I know I COULD do it, but the pain that would result would mean that I couldn’t run for possibly weeks afterwards which just isn’t worth it to me. I realised that I’m happier running that distance anyway – so why am I pushing myself to run further? Because others are.”
“Oh my goodness! This post made my day, it is SO true. I found myself feeling worse and worse about my running ability reading other runners blogs. What was meant to be a way to track my running journey ended up making me feel SO bad about myself. I felt/still feel like less of a runner because I can’t keep up with some of those other runners who are so speedy and never get hurt.
Actually I ran my first marathon yesterday and haven’t wanted to blog about it because I feel ashamed of my time, because it wasn’t nearly as speedy as all the other marathoner blogs I read. I realized that is ridiculous. So I’m going to post about my marathon and link to your post, because it is true and amazing. So thanks, you really lifted my spirits today.”
That is so interesting about how the rest days and splurges don’t really register! I never thought about it that way.
More on food:
“I have experienced this too! Not just with exercise, but also with the way I eat. I felt like I had to make myself eat “breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner” or else I was doing it “wrong”. It became a big cause of stress and I finally realized I just needed to do what was right for me, and not pay attention to what everyone else was doing. I feel much better now :) Thanks for this post!”
Healthy eating isn’t an exact science or formula. I think that is important to tell ourselves when we see how others eat.
On the illusion of perfection in the blog world:
“I love reading all the health and fitness blogs out there, but I could never be a blogger myself because of this “can’t live up mentality!” So many bloggers seem so perfect, and I am just so far from perfect.
I run 10 minute miles. I only trained 3 times a week when I did a half marathon earlier this year. I drink diet coke when I’m stressed at work. I love yoga and spinning, but I only go to classes a couple times a week. If I put in a 12 hour workday, I skip the gym. I take walking breaks on any distance over 3 miles. I eat dessert A LOT! This is turning into a crazy confessional. Lol.
My point is, I do feel like the standards are set very high in the food blogging world. I think this is kind of natural because there are so many food bloggers that are fantastic athletes and many that work in health related fields. If you compare yourself to a marathoner/dietician/combo of both! the average person is not going to live up. I think we need to remember, these bloggers are good for inspiration but you don’t need to be perfect to be healthy.”
I couldn’t agree more with the above post. It does seem like many bloggers have the perfect life. I too used to get caught up in this trap when I used to read blogs before I started my own. However, once I started blogging I started to understand how this illusion can happen.
For example, I don’t post about when Eric and I have a fight, but we do have arguments just like any other couple!
We have been together for 8.5 years now so we really don’t hold any of our true feelings back from one another. :)
I laugh when people say that we have the perfect relationship. There really is no such thing. There are moments when we want to ring each other’s neck or when we need some space. At the same time, it is important to recognize that we all go through our ups and downs. Just as celebrities don’t have perfect lives, neither do your favourite blog writers.
When I write I like to keep it positive and improve our self-image about health topics. So naturally some things get filtered out and don’t make the cut for the final post. What I would most likely do to take a fun spin on things, is post about something we fought over and then show you how we worked through it to come to a solution. That in my mind, is more beneficial to you all, than simply posting about a fight. If you really want to read about it, I will post the next argument we have. Oh, they are so lame.
Moving onto more comments:
“This is such a great post, so obvious, but never mentioned.
I have definitely felt this comparison, not only in my physical activity, but also in what I eat. I find many food bloggers are vegan/vegetarian, and felt alot of pressure to change my eating habits as to not only not offend anyone, but to become more healthy. I just had to drain it in my head, I am healthy, I enjoy the way I eat and what I eat, and began to use these blogs to make new friends, and have them influence me with new meal and work out ideas, rather than feel I had to meet all of these different standards.”
I think that is a great point. I try my best not to seem like I am pushing a vegan lifestyle because I know that it is a personal choice. I don’t think vegetarianism or veganism is something that someone else can ‘get’ you to do long term. You have to have certain motives to do it. There is no shame in eating the foods that you enjoy! It would be silly to assume that with all the food on this earth, we are all going to prefer the same types of foods.
“A while back I reached a point where I had to ask myself I was running and such. I really did not like it. Truth be told, most days I hated it. I dreaded going for a run, and I disliked it so much while I was running that it made me not want to go running again even more than before. So I’ve started turning to alternative measures. Even walking – sometimes I get embarrassed to say on my blog that I’ll walk for miles every day, because it’s not running. But it’s still exercise since I keep a good pace, and most importantly I enjoy it!!”
Exactly! I think we need to keep reminding ourselves to do what we enjoy. I don’t think that running is the best exercise someone can do.
In reality, the only best exercise you can do is the one that you don’t think you could live without!
For some it is running, but for others it is swimming, volleyball, field hockey, walking, or dancing.
As always, share your thoughts below!
I will certainly be writing more about this topic…it is a great learning experience. See you this afternoon for an exciting announcement!
She is such a health food nut, she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.
It’s funny how you don’t write about the fights you and Eric have, and it makes me feel better about the silly fights in my own life. One of my best friends once told me “If I didn’t know you, I’d hate you and your perfect life”- it made me laugh so hard! People can only see what we project – what we want them to see – and it’s important to remember that when we’re comparing ourselves to the people we think have it all together.
Thanks for sharing some of the comments, I didn’t have time to go through them all, but I found a lot of them were really insightful!
I try really hard to share my ups and downs on my blog. I think people appreciate and can relate more when you share your struggles along with your triumphs. I do sometimes wonder why people would want to read a blog about a fitness newbie like me when they can go read about what the experts are doing. But I think people are attracted to blogs (or at least I am) because you get to follow the progress of someone, no matter how great they are.
It’s also important to remember that these blogs are only a small snapshot of our lives. I typically only write about topic appropriate things, but there’s a lot going on in my life that I don’t share. Otherwise, my posts would be about 10,000 words :P
I’m very intrigued by this “one upping” of each other in the blog world, I never realized it was that way.
One thing I’ve been meaning to tell you, Angela, regarding a couple of your posts over the past few months, is that you cannot control how you help people. Some people will come to your blog to see what you eat, and how they can eat better. Some will come for boot camp/ work out inspiration. Others for something altogether different. I come here because you have amazing qualities that I can only hope I could develop, and I strongly believe that I should associate with people who have qualities or frames of mind that I seek to emulate. So I come here to read about that. The nutrition? Yeah, great, but I had to develop these skills a few years back, so I have that. Work outs? Meh, sure, but I don’t like running, and I go do yoga at the studio. No, I come here for sunshine, compassion, and enthusiasm. That’s how you help me. I don’t care how fast you run, or how long. I don’t care what you eat. I care that you care though, and that, somehow, helps me hanging on. I said before we’re all fighting battles daily, we just don’t know which ones. By the same token, you don’t know what medicine you dispense, and to whom, or even how.
So the blogs of the people who compare themselves to others, and attempt their best at running the farthest for the longest time are one-dimensional visions of multi-dimensional people. We all know how it works: we’re sublime, perfect, flawless, and amazing, because all that glorious blanket is allowing us to feel big and powerful, before we turn back into our scared children skins. Bah, I lost my train of thought, I had to work for a moment ;)
When you give humans the ability to be different, they spend all their time trying to be the same.
I should lease comment space…
Your post about social comparison is great! I think it’s something all food/fitness/health bloggers experience, but no one writes about. I think it’s important to remember (as you pointed out) that no one is perfect! When we blog, we often pick and choose what we are going to share with the blog world. So we might make frequent posts about salads and 10 mile runs, but perhaps omit the fights we have with significant others or the bag of cookies we devour after dinner. I try to use food/fitness blogs as a source of inspiration while remembering that nothing is exactly as it seems. Again, great work, love your blog!
I’m loving this series. Thanks for featuring my comment :) Today’s comments are also all great (especially Em’s – I come here for the same reason). I even went back last night to read the rest of the comments because this is such a good topic. Happy Tuesday Angela!
This has been a wonderful topic to discuss, Angela!
Whoa, this is such an enlightening post, and I’m so glad that you have the guts to bring it up, Angela!
I wholeheartedly agree with everything here-while recovering from anorexia, and stumbling on the HUNDREDS of blogs just on food and exercise-I find myself on them for hours at a time, analyzing and comparing how my foods compare and my exercise compares to others. Especially with the calorie burning: when someone says they burned 700 calories I feel so ashamed of myself. I start to wonder-how many calories am I burning? Also, some of the recovery blogs for eating disorders are triggering because the girls are still underweight so it’s hard to see that. I’m really glad that this blog in particular is a balance of all sorts of things that life offers, and that makes me feel better!
I don’t write so much in my blog (food fitness personal finances) because I don’t feel it is good enough writing, content, etc. I also want to start over (the whole blog) whenever I make a mistake. In fact, that was my last post. I realize now that when I am compelled to share, bloggers love comments! I write to my husband every day, that is enough dear diary for me. (Though I do want all those awesome freebies y’all get!! Iraq should send me a dehydrator for telling my husband about my day! hahaha)
I think the one thing that I am gaining from reading others’ blogs (from food, fitness, personal finance, mom blogs, faith, and decorating) is that people have great ideas and it is a great place to learn! I mean I tried a green monster today and loved it (highly recommend my pineapple instead of banana) I purchased tofu and want to try it out (even though you can pry the b.king double cheeseburger out of my cold dead fist). I would have never heard of Dave Ramsey if it weren’t for the financial blogs…and now we are getting out of debt at lightning speed. I don’t have kids, but the mom blogs have helped me become more organized and streamlined in my day. Blogs like simple marriage help me with the difficult areas in my marriage. It is so hard not to compare to people who are doing really well, but I feel when I choose to learn instead, my life is better for this addiction to reading about strangers lives.
Thank you for being so open, I love reading your stuff!
speaking of the green monster, my stomach was extremely grumbly and noisy afterwords….normal?
Angela, this post was a breath of fresh air! I have been struggling with this issue a lot lately – and blogging less because of it. I’ve just felt burnt out by this “need” to always write the most dramatic, exciting, thoughtful posts! Truly, it’s the mundane, everyday happenings that make blogging much more fun. When I stop trying to impress, that is when I most enjoy blogging.
As a result, I decided that I’m going to post when I know I have something to say! Taking that pressure off of myself has done me a lot of good, and it’s only been a few days! I think the same goes for reading blogs. I read so many of them and want to comment on all of them because I can relate to so much of what each post says! But I’ve realized now that that is just unrealistic. I can’t spend my whole day commenting or I’d never get anything done, much less have time for myself! Reading other comments and seeing that I’m not alone is very, very helpful. Thank you for this, girl! You rock!
I know you posted this the other day, but I was just reading it and I’m so glad you covered this topic, and it’s so nice to read other people’s comments on it. I always compare myself to my favorite bloggers and in some ways it’s great hearing what they do because I get inspired to try new things or new dishes, but then other times I think “jeez, I should eat more (fill in the blank)”. Or I think, “wow, I’m lame, I don’t run very often and these people run miles and miles a day.” So, this was great, thank you.
Hi Angela,
I discovered your blog by reading Caitlin’s blog… and I must say this was an excellent post… its nice to see that many other readers share the same feelings I have while reading some food blogs.. while they have definitely inspired me to lead a healthier lifestyle I sometimes think how in the heck can people fit all of these activities into ONE day and work a full time job AND blog about it! lol a little overwhelming.
Keep up the great work.. I wholeheartedly enjoy reading your posts.
what a great post! I know this was awhile ago, but I bookmarked it to come back and read it when I had the chance. I read (too many) blogs, but all for different reasons. i was talking about this last night, how i’ve had less time to comment and read everyone else’s posts… and post my own… i feel guilty. i love getting comments (it totally makes my day!), so i try to comment as much as i can, but it is pretty time consuming… as is my job!