Regardless of what everyone’s opinion was on the matter, I think it is clear that I touched on a subject that most of us feel quite passionate about. I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments and seeing what your take on the matter was.
I think what actually happened was that the comments became more about social comparison in general, not just specific to running. That was actually a second post that I had in mind.
I wanted to highlight some of the comments:
“I have a running blog, and while other running blogs inspire me to make sure I run most days of the week, I actually feel guilty reading food blogs. Oh Lord, if I posted what I ate…no one would read it and they would be so disgusted. I don’t eat Greek yogurt or tofu or smoothies with kale in them, even though I wish I could (just can’t stomach it I guess!) I’m not a vegan or know what the heck eating “raw” means. So sometimes I do feel bad about my eating when I read about someone who eats very well.
BUT, I’ve LEARNED a lot from these food bloggers, like Clif bars are delicious and it’s cool to eat lots of fruit, drink some wine and maybe not always stuff your face with sweets.
It’s finding a balance, I guess. I can’t run 19 miles, but reading about another blogger that can might inspire me to go on a nice 7-miler run. There’s no shame, because everyone is different and training for something different. :)”
I love this comment because it is honest and vulnerable. It shows that all of us take different things from the blogs we read and no one blog is going to perfectly represent what we are looking for.
And that is ok!
Just as we wouldn’t expect our family, partner, or best friend to be like us in every way, it is important to recognize that each blogger is doing the best they can with the resources that they have. Blogs aren’t a ‘one size fits all’ thing.
More comments:
“I’ve felt a bit of that pressure brought upon by food blogs to workout EVERYDAY. It’s not necessarily the running but moreso the pressure to discover that new, exciting workout and “tell everyone about it.” Remember when yoga got REALLY popular on the blogs? Or Shredding? Or even, completely unrelated to food or exercise, the pressure to do ‘fun stuff’ so that it can be written about on the blog. So what if we have boring days. We shouldn’t beat ourselves up about that. I know my lifestyle best, and I know what my body can take. It’s just convincing myself that it’s okay to be confident even on an ‘off’ day.”
It really is quite funny how the blog world goes through fitness and health trends! I guess we aren’t immune to social media either, right?
More on working out:
“I have a food and fitness blog and it used to be hard for me to see that I workout much less than some other bloggers because it’s my career! I’m more short and sweet when it comes to the gym and seeing people do 10 miles AND a full strength workout was tough.
I learned after reading for awhile that everyone is different and although I don’t necessarily put in as much time, it works for me so I’m sticking with it. Everything you said was spot on!”
“I definitely appreciate this post. I graduated from college last year, where I had developed an eating disorder. In addition to that, I definitely put a ton of pressure on myself to exercise because “everyone” that I knew at school was always at the gym, too.
Since graduating, I think that I have used food/fitness blogs to compare my healthy eating and exercise habits. I will be honest when I say that I still feel guilt when I don’t exercise and that I beat myself up over a “not healthy” eating day. Because I read numerous blogs, the little splurges and rest days that people have don’t really register because, with all of the blogs combined, someone is always busting out a killer workout or eating a huge salad. I find that I compare myself with the best of the best on any given day, which leads to impossible expectations! Whew – thanks for the reality check.”
“Brilliant post – couldn’t have been timed better for me today! I just had to change my upcoming race from a half to a 10k due to a foot problem I’ve always had that’s causing me pain… and I’m pretty upset about it. Though I’m upset for myself and my goals, I’m also worried about how others will view me “quitting” from the half. I know I COULD do it, but the pain that would result would mean that I couldn’t run for possibly weeks afterwards which just isn’t worth it to me. I realised that I’m happier running that distance anyway – so why am I pushing myself to run further? Because others are.”
“Oh my goodness! This post made my day, it is SO true. I found myself feeling worse and worse about my running ability reading other runners blogs. What was meant to be a way to track my running journey ended up making me feel SO bad about myself. I felt/still feel like less of a runner because I can’t keep up with some of those other runners who are so speedy and never get hurt.
Actually I ran my first marathon yesterday and haven’t wanted to blog about it because I feel ashamed of my time, because it wasn’t nearly as speedy as all the other marathoner blogs I read. I realized that is ridiculous. So I’m going to post about my marathon and link to your post, because it is true and amazing. So thanks, you really lifted my spirits today.”
That is so interesting about how the rest days and splurges don’t really register! I never thought about it that way.
More on food:
“I have experienced this too! Not just with exercise, but also with the way I eat. I felt like I had to make myself eat “breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner” or else I was doing it “wrong”. It became a big cause of stress and I finally realized I just needed to do what was right for me, and not pay attention to what everyone else was doing. I feel much better now :) Thanks for this post!”
Healthy eating isn’t an exact science or formula. I think that is important to tell ourselves when we see how others eat.
On the illusion of perfection in the blog world:
“I love reading all the health and fitness blogs out there, but I could never be a blogger myself because of this “can’t live up mentality!” So many bloggers seem so perfect, and I am just so far from perfect.
I run 10 minute miles. I only trained 3 times a week when I did a half marathon earlier this year. I drink diet coke when I’m stressed at work. I love yoga and spinning, but I only go to classes a couple times a week. If I put in a 12 hour workday, I skip the gym. I take walking breaks on any distance over 3 miles. I eat dessert A LOT! This is turning into a crazy confessional. Lol.
My point is, I do feel like the standards are set very high in the food blogging world. I think this is kind of natural because there are so many food bloggers that are fantastic athletes and many that work in health related fields. If you compare yourself to a marathoner/dietician/combo of both! the average person is not going to live up. I think we need to remember, these bloggers are good for inspiration but you don’t need to be perfect to be healthy.”
I couldn’t agree more with the above post. It does seem like many bloggers have the perfect life. I too used to get caught up in this trap when I used to read blogs before I started my own. However, once I started blogging I started to understand how this illusion can happen.
For example, I don’t post about when Eric and I have a fight, but we do have arguments just like any other couple!
We have been together for 8.5 years now so we really don’t hold any of our true feelings back from one another. :)
I laugh when people say that we have the perfect relationship. There really is no such thing. There are moments when we want to ring each other’s neck or when we need some space. At the same time, it is important to recognize that we all go through our ups and downs. Just as celebrities don’t have perfect lives, neither do your favourite blog writers.
When I write I like to keep it positive and improve our self-image about health topics. So naturally some things get filtered out and don’t make the cut for the final post. What I would most likely do to take a fun spin on things, is post about something we fought over and then show you how we worked through it to come to a solution. That in my mind, is more beneficial to you all, than simply posting about a fight. If you really want to read about it, I will post the next argument we have. Oh, they are so lame.
Moving onto more comments:
“This is such a great post, so obvious, but never mentioned.
I have definitely felt this comparison, not only in my physical activity, but also in what I eat. I find many food bloggers are vegan/vegetarian, and felt alot of pressure to change my eating habits as to not only not offend anyone, but to become more healthy. I just had to drain it in my head, I am healthy, I enjoy the way I eat and what I eat, and began to use these blogs to make new friends, and have them influence me with new meal and work out ideas, rather than feel I had to meet all of these different standards.”
I think that is a great point. I try my best not to seem like I am pushing a vegan lifestyle because I know that it is a personal choice. I don’t think vegetarianism or veganism is something that someone else can ‘get’ you to do long term. You have to have certain motives to do it. There is no shame in eating the foods that you enjoy! It would be silly to assume that with all the food on this earth, we are all going to prefer the same types of foods.
“A while back I reached a point where I had to ask myself I was running and such. I really did not like it. Truth be told, most days I hated it. I dreaded going for a run, and I disliked it so much while I was running that it made me not want to go running again even more than before. So I’ve started turning to alternative measures. Even walking – sometimes I get embarrassed to say on my blog that I’ll walk for miles every day, because it’s not running. But it’s still exercise since I keep a good pace, and most importantly I enjoy it!!”
Exactly! I think we need to keep reminding ourselves to do what we enjoy. I don’t think that running is the best exercise someone can do.
In reality, the only best exercise you can do is the one that you don’t think you could live without!
For some it is running, but for others it is swimming, volleyball, field hockey, walking, or dancing.
As always, share your thoughts below!
I will certainly be writing more about this topic…it is a great learning experience. See you this afternoon for an exciting announcement!
She is such a health food nut, she thinks a grape is wine in pill form.
As always, so interesting. I loved reading some of the comments on this yesterday. I think to be as healthy as we can personally be we truly have to listen to our own bodies regarding what we put into it and what exercise we do. It is different for every. single. person. I think it is also important, if not more important, to love ourselves fully. Love ourselves despite whatever our body can or cannot do, love ourselves without the guilt for eating that frozen yogurt or that diet coke, and to be grateful for all that we can do and all the healthy (and not so healthy!) foods we have available to us!
We have SO MUCH in this life and really it’s ridiculous that we make a big deal over ourselves/ comparing ourselves to others. Just LIVE a healthy life of fun and love. :)
Both these posts have been enlightening for me. The notion of ignoring the splurges/lack of exercise days and only acknowledging the “bests” that people blog about really resonated with me. I am a perfectionist so I naturally gravitate toward constantly working to be my “best” (whatever that means, I guarantee I will never know when I reach that point). If someone ran a 15 mile trail race, well gosh darn it, I should be doing that too! Sometimes it bites me in the butt though and I realize I need to accept where I’m at. Yes, I can run a 15 mile trail race. But its not quite the time for that.
For me, the blog world has helped me immensely over the past month or two. I got into a very bad place with binging and not running anymore (running is my passion) and reading your blog and others like yours helped me slowly but surely get back on track. It helped me to see that these women don’t restrict themselves, choose foods they love, don’t exercise excessively and are healthy, fit, and happy because of it! For the inspiration and peace of mind, I thank you more than I can express!
I love the comment, “You don’t have to be perfect to be healthy.” She hit the nail on the head! Being healthy is something to strive for, not something to always stress over.
I have been reading food and fitness blogs for the past 8 months or so. I have got some great food ideas…especially oatmeal (thanks Kath!) and I have also been inspired by some of the runners out there. I have been on a quest for the last 5 years to drop the weight I gained after my wedding and some health issues that prevented me from working out, these runners have given me something to strive for. That being said, I by no means compare myself to them. I know who I am and what I am capable of. I know that I am not giving up meat and becoming a raw eating vegan, but I still find reading about these things of interest. When I don’t, I just delete them from my Google Reader…that simple. I must admit, some of my favorite blogs are the ones who eat “bad” and drink alcohol and eat stuff with processed ingredients and who can laugh at themselves while doing it! We all do it and to read about people who don’t that is fine if that is their choice, but for anyone that may feel guilt to not living up to those standards, well let’s just say I am glad I don’t feel that guilt.
I think the healthiest way to “utilize” the food/fitness blogs is get what you can from them…you do not have to be exactly like them, we should all be our own person!!
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Angela, in addition to your posts being so thought provoking personally, I have really enjoyed reading other people’s comments. It is nice to see that I am not the only person who uses these blogs to set standards for my perfectionist self. It’s pretty self deprecating, as there always seems to be something “more” that I could be doing. Moments of free time and laziness often bring guilt and lead me to think, “Hmm with this 20 minutes I could do a level of 30 Day Shred”. Really though, I need to learn to ease up on myself. Maybe you could do a post on what you like to do to unwind, relax, be good to your body, and just be lazy!! God knows I (and probably a lot of other readers) could use that!!
angela this is an awesome post! really makes so much sense. I feel pressure soemtimes but then when I step back adn think about it, reading other blogs push me to make myself better, work harder, and be the best I can be. People running 13 miles everyday is not something that I could do, but when I decided I wanted to run my first 10k and got endless support from the blog world it helped me reach my goal. We need to look at what works best for us, and use others lives and stories as inspiration instead of sources of defeat.
So many wonderful comments!!
The food pressure issue is really interesting to me b/c I have a very different reaction to it. I have suffered from anorexia in the past, and I personally would be unable to blog what I eat every day b/c I would become obsessive about it, which is not good for me.
I’ve been eating a proper amount for a few years now, but I think healthy eating is always a challenge and I started reading these blogs to get ideas about how make my fitness regime and eating regime a bit better.
I love reading things like “I had a giant bowl of oatmeal with peanut butter and fruit.” Or hearing people talk about how delicious their snacks and meals are and how full they are. I feel like I’ve finally been able to find examples of people eating enough food that is both healthy and tasty. Since I’ve been reading these blogs, and letting my eating be inspired by them, I’ve felt really full and happy and have had tons of energy b/c I’m consistently eating well and eating enough. Its so much easier for me to get in my fruits and veggies when I spend time reading people wax enthusiastic about them. :)
I definitely notice trends swirling around the blogosphere- the raw food one is one that I’ve seen a lot lately. I guess I don’t feel pressured to eat that way b/c I know its not for me (it doesn’t seem appetizing to me and I know from experience that if it doesn’t appeal to my palate I just won’t eat it- I’ll either go get some junk food or skip a meal if I don’t like what I have to eat). So sometimes I feel a little tired of reading about stuff that I don’t want to try, but I don’t really feel pressured in that regard.
I’d say overall, I’ve just taken away a lot of good health and fitness tips by reading with an open mind, but being sure to identify what does and doesn’t work for me.
Running distances longer than 10K? Nope. Trying yoga? Yes!
Thanks for featuring my quote. :) I’m glad it helped. I really enjoyed reading through everyone’s comments. It’s amazing how this stigma is hidden so easily through an online world. Glad it’s all out in the open! Thanks for posting this!
this is such a fantastic post!! I don’t think I even realized how I felt pressured to do so much. Recently I have just been feeling like I’m not doing enough. Not exercising hard enough, not cleaning my apartment enough, not making sure James has lunch to take to work (he can make his own gosh darn lunch!), not being everything I can. It’s always good to challenge yourself but not when it means sacraficing your feeling of self worth. It’s been hard for me to take the time I need to rest from my injury since I feel like I NEED to get a workout in. Part of this is just me but part of it is reading about others as a means of comparison. It can be a slippery slope!
It’s also hard when you are just starting a blog and you don’t have a lot of readers/comments and you see others with 20, 30, 40 comments and you just think about what you could/should be doing to increase your readership and why your blog isn’t doing well. It can be a lot of pressure.
Angela, thank you for having the courage to approach this topic and say what we are all thinking.
I have found the most positive feedback from readers when I don’t TRY to be perfect or what I think other people will think is perfect. I drink Diet Coke sometimes, I chew sugarless gum and yes, my daughter pees on the carpet.
People don’t want to read about how “perfect” my life, food and workouts are. They want to see a flawed individual who is working to be a better person each and every day, and loving and living their life the best way they know how. That’s what people can relate too. That’s what makes people feel good. That’s what I want my blog to be all about.
I really like that you mentioned the fights that you and Eric have. I always feel like I’m leaving something major out when something happens in my relationship and I don’t mention it. Don’t get me wrong; I like keeping some things in my life private. But some days it must seem like I’m in a bad mood for no reason, or that I’m eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s out of the blue. I’m glad that you touched on the fact that although a lot of bloggers seem to have “perfect” lives, there’s no way that that’s true.
I’ve never commented before, but I read the blog a lot and felt compelled to post on this topic. I love all the popular blogs, just like everyone else, but I constantly have to give myself a reality check. Whenever I start to compare myself to bloggers, I try and find a “real world” girl to look up to. For me, it’s my housemates. I’m a college sophomore and I live with 4 other girls. Not a single one of them goes to the gym, and I’ve realised that it’s OKAY! They are all gorgeous, slim, happy, and intelligent. And maybe I read blogs because I like to be motivated by fitness, or health, or whatever, but at the end of the day, I’m *friends* with these girls not because of their exercise regimes, but because of who they are. And i’m pretty sure they dont care if I skip a run!
Angela- I’ve never posted before but I have been so touched by this new topic. I thought I was the only one out there who felt guilty and the need to “keep up”!! It is so relieving to see other people– including you!!– feel the same way. Thank you for starting this and being so honest. It surely has taken the weight off my chest!
I have had positive experiences with reading food & fitness blogs. I find they encourage me to exercise and eat healthier. I used to make excuses not to exercise or if I was exercising consistently, I felt like I had to do at least an hour for it to be an effective workout. But reading fitness blogs has helped me see that not every workout has to be stellar. For example Cailin at Healthy Tipping Point was working on that same thing which helped me see that others struggle with it too. Overall I’ve been encouraged to be more active in general.
Regarding eating – I have often thought of starting my own blog to showcase how I eat which isn’t stellar all the time. I would like to show that its “ok” to eat fastfood occasionally or a donut. I have just questioned my ability/willingness to stick with a blog but I would love to show that eating 100% all the time is not realistic for ME. I did question if I should try going vegetarian but realized I enjoy eating meat sometimes. One of my biggest joys in life is dairy so I could never give that up.
In the end I have realized that I like the variety of my current eating style and reading the blogs has made me more aware of things I would like to improve but also made me more confident in who I am.
I found your blog just a few months ago and it has become one of my favorites. I love your attitude about food and life and it really is inspirational to read. This is a great topic about blogs and the pressure one might feel from reading them to keep up etc. . .I have given to the pressure to do just that and didn’t even fully realize it until recently. I have always loved exercise but I have been pushing myself harder than usual and not listening to my body when it was telling me it needed rest. Well. . .I am sick now and I think that might be why. I work with kids and I think my defenses were down due to me pushing myself too hard. I also go through the guilt when I see someone really pushing themselves on thier blog and I am in the middle of a rest day. It’s silly for me to do this, I know better. I’m a woman in her early thirties and I should know better. But I have gained a lot from reading these blogs as well. Thanks for bringing this up.
Great posts Angela! And thanks for featuring my previous comment. :)
This is obviously a subject that most of us have done a lot of thinking about.
Hi Angela,
I just started reading your blog and I love it! I immediately made a Green Monster and was hooked from the very first one! It’s great! Just wondering… do you eat it as a meal?
Very insightful and meaningful posts.
I love reading food/fitness blogs and I think I have benefited from them immensely. They can be encouraging and motivating; I have gotten many great recipes, food ideas, etc from them.
I do have a blog, and while it is still in its infancy (I call it my baby blog), I do sometimes feel as though I need to live up to food blog expectations or that I’m not a true, legitimate blogger. Also, I do find myself comparing food/workouts to the others out there, but then I have to remind myself that my situation is different from everyone else’s and what I do works for me. That’s what it ultimately comes down to-do what works for you and makes you happy.