It probably sounds silly, but I already feel nostalgic for the passing days of this super sweet newborn stage. Everyone is warning me about how fast the newborn stage goes and I want to cry when I think about how quickly the days are flying by. There’s just something incredibly beautiful about a tiny human being entirely dependent on their parents. I’m trying to soak up and imprint into memory every snuggle, kiss, silly face, and squeak. I had a moment the other day when I had to pack away a few newborn sleepers that are too small for Adriana now. Sniff.
It’s hard being a new mom though. Shocker, I know. And so humbling. Life is crazier than ever and some days I feel like nothing more than a weepy milk maid, but I’ve never felt so very lucky and happy at the same time. This new role is a bit like my experience with labour – I didn’t really know how crazy hard it would be until I was in the thick of it (which is probably a good thing).
The first week was so, so hard. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much self-doubt about everything all at once. There is so much to learn right off the bat. And the hormones…oh my gosh. I would go from feeling elated on a total high to feeling completely overwhelmed. I wasn’t prepared for the challenges of breastfeeding, for starters. Sure, I watched lots of videos and we met with our lactation consultant before I delivered, but my experience was nothing like the happy breastfeeding moms I saw in the videos. They made it look so effortless with their babies demonstrating picture perfect latches, and the moms changing up positions like a pro. Adriana didn’t latch for the first day at all, and not much at all the second day, despite a team of us in the hospital trying to make it happen. I felt like I was failing at something I wanted to happen so badly. I could see her getting more and more frustrated with each attempt at feeding and I knew if I didn’t make it happen soon she would be losing more weight. I felt defeated. Adriana hadn’t developed her sucking reflex yet, so she tended to “chomp” on my nipple. My nipples were raw for the first several days, despite using every nipple cream under the sun. Luckily, our lactation consultant met with us the first night we got home from the hospital and she suggested that we try the side-lying position in bed or on the couch. Well, it was sooo much easier in this position. Adriana latched so much easier. Day by day, things started to fall into place after that. Many times I wanted to give up, but I thought of you all saying to give breastfeeding two weeks (or 6 weeks or 2 months!), so I kept at it. Here we are two weeks later and I’m happy to say that breastfeeding is coming along great. I feel like we’ve gotten over the most difficult part now. We’re still trying to master the seated positions, but I’m confident that we will get it in time. Lately, we’ve been logging around 5 hours per day of breastfeeding. I had no idea it would take up this much time (it feels like a full time job!), but I’m sure some day in the not so distant future I’ll be longing for this precious bonding time again. My advice is don’t lose hope or feel like you are alone if you are struggling with breastfeeding because you certainly aren’t the only one. Knowing that other moms struggled during the early days really helped reassure me that we could work past it too. I recommend finding a good lactation consultant and checking out the breastfeeding website called Kelly Mom.
Because we struggled with feeding during the first several days, our lactation consultant and nurses recommended that we write down all of Adriana’s feedings to keep track of things until she got the hang of feeding. For a few days we were writing everything on a pen and paper which wasn’t overly convenient and we found ourselves forgetting to log overnight. So I decided to search for an app and came across the free Baby Tracker App. Well, it has simplified things so much. You can track feedings (the time, which boob you started on, and how long per side), diaper changes, sleep, pumping, and more. There is a detail list view of the entire day so you can easily see the whole day at a glance. Genius!! I can’t say enough good things about this app! I don’t plan on tracking forever (I’ve already stopped tracking diaper changes since everything is on track), but I think it can be very helpful in the early stages for a new mom. A reader also said it’s a great way to determine when they are going through a growth spurt (you can compare total daily feeding time across days and easily spot when there is a spike).
It’s true what our pediatrician told us – days 4 and 5 were the hardest. I’m so glad she told us this at our first appointment because we were ready for it. I read that newborns go through their first growth spurt shortly after coming home from the hospital and I think Adriana did too. She was so fussy for a few days and some nights she cluster fed until 4:30am (she was basically feeding every 30 minutes for hours on end). I was trying to get by on 1-2 hours of sleep. But after those few hard days things got so much better. The past several nights I’ve been getting a total of 5-6 hours of (broken up) sleep and I feel so much more like myself. I’m surprised by how little sleep I can function on. The body really does adapt.
Side note: This swaddleme sleeper is a game changer. When we started putting this on her before bed at night she went from sleeping 30-60 minute intervals to 2-3 hour stretches. We were swaddling her previously with a normal swaddle blanket, but she would always wiggle it off and then wake up because she got cold. The Velcro swaddlers are where it’s at.
Week 2…was sooo much better! Honestly, it’s like night and day. We both feel so much more confident as parents this past week.
I’m enjoying…journaling, both written and with photographs. I bought this Mom’s One Line a Day book to record memories. The first 3 days it was blank and I started to question whether I could keep up with it! But I got caught up and I’m really enjoying writing a memory down from each day. It will be a miracle if I can do it for 5 years, especially if we have another baby in a couple years. But here’s hoping I can at least do the first year?
Our cat Sketchie…isn’t overly happy that there is a new creature in the house that is louder, poopier, needier, and more dramatic than he is. At first he was terrified of Adriana, but he has warmed up to her now and likes to be in the same room as us again. We’ve been trying to give him lots of affection so he doesn’t feel left out. I think he’s starting to come around slowly but surely.
The first time I laughed after labour…was when I was handed my first “monster pad” after delivery. They are HUGE! I was expecting a slightly bigger version of an overnight pad, but oh no. God no. These monster pads are about 2 feet long and 3/4 of a foot wide. Friggin hilarious. The nurse said, “Don’t you have any underwear bigger than those??” Tip: When they say bring huge granny panties, they mean it! Then the nurse stuck a frozen padsicle (just pads soaked in witch hazel and frozen) on top of the monster pad and I waddled to my room.
I’ve never been so…thirsty!!! I honestly can’t get enough fluids into me. I’m also eating like crazy. Two breakfasts, two lunches…you get the idea. This mama needs her fuel!
My recovery has been…slower than I would’ve hoped. I honestly didn’t expect to be this sore after birth (not sure why!). I think the side-lying breastfeeding position has been great for my recovery though because it’s forced me to be completely off my feet for hours each day. Now that I’m at the 2 week mark, I am seeing a big improvement. I’m no longer waddling around like I have a pole shoved up my butt (lol) and I’m feeling more like myself each day. Time heals all wounds!
To pump or not to pump…I wasn’t sure if I would need a breast pump right away, but I ended up having to buy one almost immediately since Adriana wasn’t latching on very well and my breasts become engorged and painful when my milk came in. Oye. The pump wasn’t as scary as I thought though and I was so happy to have some relief.
I’m thankful for…a healthy baby. I’m so grateful she is doing well. Also, I’m thankful for Eric and his general awesomeness. He’s a great dad and has taken such an active role in her care.
Our second pediatrician visit…We met with our pediatrician for the second appointment and I was thrilled to find out that Adriana had already surpassed her birth weight. She is gaining on average 45 grams per day (the doctor said 15-30 grams a day is great) which made this new nursing mama very happy to see that we are on track. Her next appointment is at the 1 month mark.
Nothing beats a…hot shower in the morning. Hot showers have taken on a whole new meaning of joy in my life!!
Nicknames…Adriana’s current nickname is “monkey” or “milk monster”
Adriana lights up when… I sing her “Your Song” – the one we played to her while she was in my belly (we love the Ellie Goulding version). She also loves Eric playing the guitar for her. She also lights up after letting out some gas (lol) and loves to crack a silly smile! Often when she hears my voice she starts making eating motions with her mouth. She sure knows who her milk maid is!
V.I.P’s…We were all spoiled to have “Mimi” (my mom) here for a full week. My stepdad (“Papa”) came later in the week too. Not going to lie, I was so bummed when they went back home to Alberta. Adriana also got to meet her “Babcha” “Babcia” and “Granddad” (Eric’s mom and dad), “Gigi” (my grandma), second cousins, great aunts, aunts, uncles, and more.
She made it through her first…newborn photo shoot! It was a long shoot – about 3.5 hours and I had to feed her multiple times during it to keep her nice and sleepy. She also pooped all over her mom and dad, lol. We got some family photos (including some 3 generation photos with my mom). Here are a couple sneak peeks from behind the scenes…
Thank you for all your congrats and kind words on my birth announcement post! We are so thankful to have such an amazing group of people reading this blog.
If you’d like to see more pictures from the past two weeks, you can see them on my personal Instagram account: @theglowspot
Thank you for sharing your struggles with breastfeeding. I also experienced breastfeeding issues with my 1st, and I felt so alone and defeated. I’m happy to hear that you stuck with it and it’s now going well! Side note- I was also shocked about just how many hours in a day is spent feeding a newborn! It’s a full time job at the beginning! But sooner than later the feedings do get faster and more far between!
Are you going to share your labour/birth story? I would love to hear about it!
It’s a really isolating feeling at times, right? I’m glad you enjoyed this post. And yes, the feedings are non-stop at first. Thank goodness for technology. ;)
I have my birth story drafted, just need to edit it now.
Love your baby updates! When are you gonna post the birth story?
Is “Babcha” from a different language by any chance ? :)
Hi Michelle, probably Angie will have more time to post when she and baby get the knack of nursing sitting down (at the keyboard). There’s even an acronym for it: NAK (nursing at keyboard). It will happen!
I love the NAK acronym! When I do that I know I’ve mastered it ;)
At one point, with baby #2, I was typing, nursing, and half sharing the screen while my toddler watched a mickey mouse video and I finished up a document. It’s far from ideal. . . but there’s also pretty amazing what you can do.
hah love it
Yes, it’s Polish :) My sister in law is Polish so that’s what they call grandma. She decided to stick with the name for all grandchildren to make it easier.
My draft of the birth story is done…just need to edit it.
Yes I thought so! I’m Polish too so I recognized the word :) Babcia :)
So does that mean that Eric is Polish too ??
Looking forward to the birth story!!! I love reading those too haha!
ah that’s the proper spelling. Good to know!
Nope, Eric is Irish and English. My SIL was married into the family. :)
Ah now it makes sense :))
Yes you spell it “Babcia” , but Babcha is how you pronounce it :)
A tip I have been given for those early weeks is to have a thermos with fennel tea near you. So you always have something warm to drink and the fennel reduces baby cramps and makes your milk sweeter and more appealing to the baby.
Good on you for keeping on with bfing. It is astonishing how much and how long a newborn wants to nurse. Right, Adriana clacking her lips is a first signal that she wants to nurse: sometimes babies want to nurse because it’s comforting to be attached to mama again. It doesn’t imply that milk production is too low. The great thing about a newborn nursing all the time is one’s breasts just after birth will branch out little trees of milk sacs and turn one into a super milk producing mama. I had problems with too-fast of letdown once #1 turned me into a mega milk maid. The combination of mega milk production and baby learning to get milk more efficiently means that soon you will be able to nurse slightly less often. Have you tried putting Eric on babywearing or napping on him while he watches TV on the couch just after feeding? He can change her. Even half an hour to yourself, he will love it, and you can do something just for you. Don’t worry if Adriana fusses. A baby, who is not hungry, in the arms of her loving father–she will be just fine. Besides they need some time together and Eric can keep learning how to settle her. He can give her a clean pinky with a trimmed nail, upside down so the nail plate is on the tongue. Being a parent to a newborn is a high-stress job. Every job needs breaks–especially high stress ones. If she cries or grizzles for twenty minutes she will have zero permanent damage, and you’ll keep yourself from burning out. Remember that parents on planes with low O2 put on their oxygen mask first–you have to take care of yourself to take care of your baby.
Many congratulations to you both on the arrival of little Adriana! It has been a joy to read your pregnancy adventures and looking forward to reading about adventures with baby now :-) So exciting! xx
I’m glad everything seems to be going well for your new family! Bfing in the beginning is such a challenge. I remember wanting to cry every time my daughter latched because my nipples were so sore and raw. I really feel like things got easier around that 6 week mark. Maybe my nipples toughened up, lol. And yes, newborns nurse SO. FREAKING. MUCH! I used an app similar to the one you recommended, and found my daughter was nursing around 20+ times a day! I don’t know how I did it.
Keep soaking up these days, because they really do fly by. (:
You are doing such a great job! The first week is always tough, and you should be proud you stuck with it. You both look beautiful!
There is a great group called La Leche League that offers breast feeding support. I loved my group when I was in that phase. We would meet once a month and have a topic of the month to discuss, but would also have the opportunity to ask and have questions answered. There are leaders who have had training, but it is also from moms like me. VERY helpful to find a group of moms that are muddling through some of the same things. Good friendships made from that group! I would encourage you to see if there is one in your area. Breastfeeding is hard the pictures make it look rosie, and it will be, but it takes work to get there. Keep it up! You are doing a great job and being the best mom you can be to your LO!
I so remember those early breastfeeding days. My first didn’t want to latch them would fall asleep at the breast, taking 45 minutes for a full nursing session. My second latched perfectly right away but then did the chomping thing after a few days. It took me eight weeks to correct that! She also cluster fed but finally fell into a good rhythm. She’s two now and still actively nursing! The days go quickly and all you can do is take each moment as it comes. Being nostalgic already is so normal…I cried when I had to go from newborn diapers to a size one after two weeks! I also was very thirsty and ate constantly!
Adriana’s little sleeping face in the last photo is precious! She’s such a cutie. Congratulations again, Angela, and major props for keeping up with the feeding despite it being really tough :) x
I struggled with breastfeeding in the beginning too but it has just gotten better and better. My now 12 month old nurses in every possible position while reading a book or trying to pick my nose.
As Adriana gets bigger, I *highly* recommend the miracle blanket swaddle. We tried ALL of them and this was our favorite. Worth every penny.
Thanks for all the tips! We’re not anywhere close to the family-planning stages, but it’s always great to have this kind of information logged away for when the time eventually comes. Not a lot of people like to talk about the difficulties during the first few weeks, so bravo to you for sharing this!
Okay, “monkey” or “milk monster” – those are super adorable nicknames Angela! I am so happy to hear that you and Adriana are doing great and that you are getting more sleep! Also happy to hear that Sketchie is adjusting to the newest member of your beautiful family. Gorgeous photo by the way – cannot wait to see more from the shoot :) It is wonderful to read about your first couple weeks home with your little one (I seriously cracked up learning about the GIANT hospital pad – things they don’t teach you in school about having kids.. something to look forward too, haha!). Sending love to you guys in these first few memorable weeks!
Your recovery sounds a lot like mine with Sophie. I was shocked too how bad I felt. I guess my focus had always been on carrying baby, then birthing baby, then taking care of baby that I never really thought “oh yeah, I’m going to need to recover too!” I remember having family over visiting and waddling around…trying to get up from the couch. So sore! Luckily with Ella it was MUCH better!!!
Congrats on sticking with breastfeeding. Try not to think of it as a commitment that you have to do for months and months…..that can get overwhelming on the hard days. But remind yourself that Adriana is getting the best one feed at time :) You are doing great!
So excited to see this post! My little boy will be four weeks old on Wednesday – the first two weeks were so hard! I definitely had the “baby blues” and was so overwhelmed. Who knew breastfeeding a newborn would be the most demanding job I’ve ever had?? So happy for you and hope things continue to go well!
Dear Angela, I have been following your blog now for a while (becoming interested in a vegan eating plan via my daughter who lives in Texas – I live in New Zealand) but have never commented. I just love your blog – everything about it. The lovely recipes, all the stories, your very helpful tips – and now your beautiful baby story. Yip, she’s Daddy’s girl, all right! I always say to my children (who now have their own littlies) when things are hard – remember they won’t be doing that when they’re 21! What a blessing to have a beautiful, healthy little newborn. I wish you all the very best for you and your lovely little family – Sketchie included!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us! I absolutely love reading your baby posts!
Congratulations Angela! Not sure if you have heard of Dr. Jack Newman. He has a Breastfeeding Clinic in Toronto and has a great website on everything to do with nursing. I hope you will find it useful. Nursing is such a beautiful experience =0)
My son would hit his growth spurts every month (basically is month bday) and it would last for about 1 to 2 days!
Pumping can be an advantage. I would pump to produce more milk as I had my son via C-section at 37 weeks (took 4 days for my milk to come in) and he too didn’t have his sucking reflex. I would pump and My husband would be on bedtime duty with bath, bottle and bed for my son. 13 months later my husband is still on bedtime duty and my son loves to bond with his daddy ;0)
Looking forward to some more baby post and yummy recipes =0)
Thank you for sharing how HARD the first couple of weeks are! I had my baby by c section the same day and I can honestly say there is no way anyone can prepare you for the struggles of bringing a newborn home!
I’ve been thinking about you!! So happy to read the update and hear that you guys are finding your groove. xo