It probably sounds silly, but I already feel nostalgic for the passing days of this super sweet newborn stage. Everyone is warning me about how fast the newborn stage goes and I want to cry when I think about how quickly the days are flying by. There’s just something incredibly beautiful about a tiny human being entirely dependent on their parents. I’m trying to soak up and imprint into memory every snuggle, kiss, silly face, and squeak. I had a moment the other day when I had to pack away a few newborn sleepers that are too small for Adriana now. Sniff.
It’s hard being a new mom though. Shocker, I know. And so humbling. Life is crazier than ever and some days I feel like nothing more than a weepy milk maid, but I’ve never felt so very lucky and happy at the same time. This new role is a bit like my experience with labour – I didn’t really know how crazy hard it would be until I was in the thick of it (which is probably a good thing).
The first week was so, so hard. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much self-doubt about everything all at once. There is so much to learn right off the bat. And the hormones…oh my gosh. I would go from feeling elated on a total high to feeling completely overwhelmed. I wasn’t prepared for the challenges of breastfeeding, for starters. Sure, I watched lots of videos and we met with our lactation consultant before I delivered, but my experience was nothing like the happy breastfeeding moms I saw in the videos. They made it look so effortless with their babies demonstrating picture perfect latches, and the moms changing up positions like a pro. Adriana didn’t latch for the first day at all, and not much at all the second day, despite a team of us in the hospital trying to make it happen. I felt like I was failing at something I wanted to happen so badly. I could see her getting more and more frustrated with each attempt at feeding and I knew if I didn’t make it happen soon she would be losing more weight. I felt defeated. Adriana hadn’t developed her sucking reflex yet, so she tended to “chomp” on my nipple. My nipples were raw for the first several days, despite using every nipple cream under the sun. Luckily, our lactation consultant met with us the first night we got home from the hospital and she suggested that we try the side-lying position in bed or on the couch. Well, it was sooo much easier in this position. Adriana latched so much easier. Day by day, things started to fall into place after that. Many times I wanted to give up, but I thought of you all saying to give breastfeeding two weeks (or 6 weeks or 2 months!), so I kept at it. Here we are two weeks later and I’m happy to say that breastfeeding is coming along great. I feel like we’ve gotten over the most difficult part now. We’re still trying to master the seated positions, but I’m confident that we will get it in time. Lately, we’ve been logging around 5 hours per day of breastfeeding. I had no idea it would take up this much time (it feels like a full time job!), but I’m sure some day in the not so distant future I’ll be longing for this precious bonding time again. My advice is don’t lose hope or feel like you are alone if you are struggling with breastfeeding because you certainly aren’t the only one. Knowing that other moms struggled during the early days really helped reassure me that we could work past it too. I recommend finding a good lactation consultant and checking out the breastfeeding website called Kelly Mom.
Because we struggled with feeding during the first several days, our lactation consultant and nurses recommended that we write down all of Adriana’s feedings to keep track of things until she got the hang of feeding. For a few days we were writing everything on a pen and paper which wasn’t overly convenient and we found ourselves forgetting to log overnight. So I decided to search for an app and came across the free Baby Tracker App. Well, it has simplified things so much. You can track feedings (the time, which boob you started on, and how long per side), diaper changes, sleep, pumping, and more. There is a detail list view of the entire day so you can easily see the whole day at a glance. Genius!! I can’t say enough good things about this app! I don’t plan on tracking forever (I’ve already stopped tracking diaper changes since everything is on track), but I think it can be very helpful in the early stages for a new mom. A reader also said it’s a great way to determine when they are going through a growth spurt (you can compare total daily feeding time across days and easily spot when there is a spike).
It’s true what our pediatrician told us – days 4 and 5 were the hardest. I’m so glad she told us this at our first appointment because we were ready for it. I read that newborns go through their first growth spurt shortly after coming home from the hospital and I think Adriana did too. She was so fussy for a few days and some nights she cluster fed until 4:30am (she was basically feeding every 30 minutes for hours on end). I was trying to get by on 1-2 hours of sleep. But after those few hard days things got so much better. The past several nights I’ve been getting a total of 5-6 hours of (broken up) sleep and I feel so much more like myself. I’m surprised by how little sleep I can function on. The body really does adapt.
Side note: This swaddleme sleeper is a game changer. When we started putting this on her before bed at night she went from sleeping 30-60 minute intervals to 2-3 hour stretches. We were swaddling her previously with a normal swaddle blanket, but she would always wiggle it off and then wake up because she got cold. The Velcro swaddlers are where it’s at.
Week 2…was sooo much better! Honestly, it’s like night and day. We both feel so much more confident as parents this past week.
I’m enjoying…journaling, both written and with photographs. I bought this Mom’s One Line a Day book to record memories. The first 3 days it was blank and I started to question whether I could keep up with it! But I got caught up and I’m really enjoying writing a memory down from each day. It will be a miracle if I can do it for 5 years, especially if we have another baby in a couple years. But here’s hoping I can at least do the first year?
Our cat Sketchie…isn’t overly happy that there is a new creature in the house that is louder, poopier, needier, and more dramatic than he is. At first he was terrified of Adriana, but he has warmed up to her now and likes to be in the same room as us again. We’ve been trying to give him lots of affection so he doesn’t feel left out. I think he’s starting to come around slowly but surely.
The first time I laughed after labour…was when I was handed my first “monster pad” after delivery. They are HUGE! I was expecting a slightly bigger version of an overnight pad, but oh no. God no. These monster pads are about 2 feet long and 3/4 of a foot wide. Friggin hilarious. The nurse said, “Don’t you have any underwear bigger than those??” Tip: When they say bring huge granny panties, they mean it! Then the nurse stuck a frozen padsicle (just pads soaked in witch hazel and frozen) on top of the monster pad and I waddled to my room.
I’ve never been so…thirsty!!! I honestly can’t get enough fluids into me. I’m also eating like crazy. Two breakfasts, two lunches…you get the idea. This mama needs her fuel!
My recovery has been…slower than I would’ve hoped. I honestly didn’t expect to be this sore after birth (not sure why!). I think the side-lying breastfeeding position has been great for my recovery though because it’s forced me to be completely off my feet for hours each day. Now that I’m at the 2 week mark, I am seeing a big improvement. I’m no longer waddling around like I have a pole shoved up my butt (lol) and I’m feeling more like myself each day. Time heals all wounds!
To pump or not to pump…I wasn’t sure if I would need a breast pump right away, but I ended up having to buy one almost immediately since Adriana wasn’t latching on very well and my breasts become engorged and painful when my milk came in. Oye. The pump wasn’t as scary as I thought though and I was so happy to have some relief.
I’m thankful for…a healthy baby. I’m so grateful she is doing well. Also, I’m thankful for Eric and his general awesomeness. He’s a great dad and has taken such an active role in her care.
Our second pediatrician visit…We met with our pediatrician for the second appointment and I was thrilled to find out that Adriana had already surpassed her birth weight. She is gaining on average 45 grams per day (the doctor said 15-30 grams a day is great) which made this new nursing mama very happy to see that we are on track. Her next appointment is at the 1 month mark.
Nothing beats a…hot shower in the morning. Hot showers have taken on a whole new meaning of joy in my life!!
Nicknames…Adriana’s current nickname is “monkey” or “milk monster”
Adriana lights up when… I sing her “Your Song” – the one we played to her while she was in my belly (we love the Ellie Goulding version). She also loves Eric playing the guitar for her. She also lights up after letting out some gas (lol) and loves to crack a silly smile! Often when she hears my voice she starts making eating motions with her mouth. She sure knows who her milk maid is!
V.I.P’s…We were all spoiled to have “Mimi” (my mom) here for a full week. My stepdad (“Papa”) came later in the week too. Not going to lie, I was so bummed when they went back home to Alberta. Adriana also got to meet her “Babcha” “Babcia” and “Granddad” (Eric’s mom and dad), “Gigi” (my grandma), second cousins, great aunts, aunts, uncles, and more.
She made it through her first…newborn photo shoot! It was a long shoot – about 3.5 hours and I had to feed her multiple times during it to keep her nice and sleepy. She also pooped all over her mom and dad, lol. We got some family photos (including some 3 generation photos with my mom). Here are a couple sneak peeks from behind the scenes…
Thank you for all your congrats and kind words on my birth announcement post! We are so thankful to have such an amazing group of people reading this blog.
If you’d like to see more pictures from the past two weeks, you can see them on my personal Instagram account: @theglowspot
Reading this made me miss my 9 month old’s newborn phase!
We struggled with breastfeeding for months. We’re finally going strong now. I’m so glad you’re finding that it is getting easier.
Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby girl. I, for one, would love to see your birth story on here!
To me, the first six weeks are so hard but it gets so much better. You really fall into a rhythm. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend a breastfeeding pillow. Any will do but they are such a big help! I could only nurse my daughter side lying at first too, but around six weeks that position started to give her so much painful gas. Having the pillow, helped prop her up and really saved us.
It is funny that it is not spoken about more before babies arrive – just some of the adjustment new parents must face. The key really is having support, from family, your husband, and whoever else you can gather (lactation consultant, etc…)
By the way, try the Miracle Blanket. It is amazing for swaddling. My children slept so well in it in those first 3 months. It does not have velcro but holds them very snugly and I found it to be very soft and cozy for them.
Congrats on such a gorgeous and healthy girl!!! I am currently snuggling with my almost four month old and I just had to comment because I TOTALLY identified with this post and I wish I could have read it during my first few weeks with my little sweetie. Breastfeeding is SO hard and like you it completely caught me off guard. I had a lot of trouble at first and it really wasn’t until around 2 months that it became easy, And I couldn’t believe how time consuming it was! I felt like I spent the entire first month feeding. I thought I’d never leave the house. But at almost four months things are SO much easier! Feeding takes about 10 minutes now (every 3 hours or so) and is so so easy. I’m out for walks and grocery shopping and doing programs with my little guy all the time and it’s just so much fun. I often wanted to give up on breastfeeding but am so glad I didn’t! Congrats to you for sticking with it as well. Also, I am totally with you on constant eating! I call it first and second breakfast, lunch and dinner! I went to a wedding last weekend and ate dinner before leaving and then another full dinner when I got there!
hah I can totally relate to that…glad to know it gets easier! I find each day gets a bit better. It’s a learning process for both of us. I can only imagine what it’ll be like in a few months. Thanks for sharing your experience!
I gave birth to my daughter on September 16th, so I can defintely relate to a lot of what you’re saying – especially missing those sweet tiny newborn moments. It seems silly to feel nostalgic almost by the minute, but I can so relate – and this is my 2nd child so I know how fast the moments pass. Good luck to you and so happy you’re continuing to breastfeed.
I had my baby girl the day after you and I totally understand what you’re saying about being nostalgic. For the first week I cried every night knowing that she was going to get bigger and one day wouldn’t need me anymore! It’s gotten a bit easier, but man, parenthood really tugs at your heartstrings.
Congratulations on your beautiful baby girl!
Thank you SO much for sharing your experience! I’m a longtime reader of your blog and while I love the recipes as much as ever, it is really refreshing to hear your perspective on pregnancy/birth/baby. I’m expecting my first, and your honesty and openness about your experience is really encouraging. I hope you continue to write about your journey as Adriana grows and as you grow as a mom!
Thanks Jennifer and congrats on your pregnancy!
Pretty soon…in a spot of extreme fatigue or boredom…the pump will start talking to you.
hah I look forward to that convo.
Hang in there with the breastfeeding! I remember I was in the EXACT same place. My husband jokes that breastfeedin was more stressful on him than me because every time I had to nurse it was like “ok, bring me some pillows! No, not enough pillows! Oh, too much pillows! My back and shoulders are killing me from being hunched over! Water, I need my water cup!!!” Lol. It was so hard to find a comfortable position at first, and I remeber thinking, how is this little 8 lb baby feeling so heavy? Side laying is the best, it was a game changer for me too. One piece of advice my girlfriend told me was that it gets harder around 4-6 weeks (I can’t remember the exact time) and that is when a lot of people quit, because your nipples are so chafed and sore and haven’t hardened yet, and it’s still kind of painful – but just know it gets easier and hang in there. I would break into a sweat everytime I had to feed too, haha. But once I got into the groove, it was so easy, natural and beautiful – that bond you have with your baby is just so special.
omg hilarious!! I just read that to Eric and he died laughing. I think that one hit home… ;) and yes to the water cup!!!! Although mine is a mix of water and coconut water for an energy boost in the middle of the night (amazing).
The best advice I ever received regarding my sweet babe was to ‘expect the unexpected’, and how true this has been! I’m so glad things have been settling in for you guys. Babies are no joke! Just the best, most fun, most loveable, most exhausting roommates in the world ever. I wish I could bottle up those newborn snuggles :)
Hi Angela, Congratulations! What a blessing Adriana is. I so enjoy reading about your experiences because the only kids I’ll have are four-legged, thank you for sharing!!
Breastfeeding was crazy hard for me, too. Congrats on getting the hang of it!
I remember when I had my first born, he was such an easy baby. He slept all the time and would rarely cry. Then my daughter came around, and she was the opposite!
For both babies, though, no matter what, I made sure to embrace not only the good moments, but the bad ones, too. Even when you’re super tired and worn out, it really is worth it. You’ll look back on those moments and smile, even if they weren’t happy moments at that time! :)
You are bringing back so many memories! My daughter was difficult to nurse, but we had it under control after 4 weeks. My twins were much harder but I’m proud to say I nursed them for a year. Kelly mom is an amazing site! I learned so much and loved the support!
A tip for pumping (if you still are) – olive oil is a great lubricant to put on before you pump. And it made me fee better putting something on that I would use in my every day cooking.
Enjoy those precious moments!
Olive oil! I used coconut oil and didn’t even think of olive oil. Genius. And more affordable.
Well you’ve probably gathered that you’re not alone in struggling with breastfeeding!
I too felt I spent my entire days breastfeeding: my daughter nursed every 2 hours, night and day, for over 7 straight months. My husband gave me a great present: an ereader. My baby would often fall asleep on my lap nursing and I couldn’t really move or type, so I just learned to love the down time and enjoyed cuddling with her while reading on my e-reader (easier to hold and turn pages one-handed than a paper book).
Also, you might find that different positions work best at different ages. For the first 2 months, it was all about the football position for us or the reverse cradle during the day, since she couldn’t really support her head. When she got bigger and could hold up her head, the Madonna worked. Now at 11 months, the Madonna still works, or otherwise she sits on my lap or crawls on top of me and latches on in pretty much any position imaginable! Oh and the side-lying position of course has been my favorite at all ages.
Enjoy it! I found that once I gave into my new role as constant milk maid, or “human pacifier” as I often called it, I was able to relax and go with the flow. I just trusted that she needed the contact and nourishment and I savored the cuteness.
Sending you best wishes from Paris!
Oh she’s just gorgeous! Such beautiful pics of both of you! Glad to hear things are going better for you all. I love hearing all about your experiences w/ her – keep these posts coming! Congrats again!
I can’t believe it was almost a year ago that I was going through all of this for the first time too! I was surprised at how long, even with a good latch, breastfeeding was uncomfortable. I think it wasn’t until 2+ months that I was able to stand a hot shower spray or a “rough” towel on my breasts.
Absolutely loved reading this post!! Congratulations on making it through your first couple weeks as new parents!! We still call my 2 1/2 year old step daughter “Monkey” all the time :)
Such breathtakingly beautiful pictures. So happy to hear that things are going better!
I’m glad BFing is going smoothly now! Investing in a pump was the best thing for me (well, especially since I was still in school when Nia was first born), so I would have been doomed without it. Having said that, it was also my nemesis a year ago when I was on campus for 12 hours two days a week and had to pump in the backseat of the car 4x those days (still have bad memories haha). I bet your photoshoot was amazing!! It’s one thing we missed out on and I definitely regret it! Next kid? haha
Adriana is so beautiful! :) Congrats on making it this far breastfeeding. I remember I had some struggles when I was breastfeeding my firstborn son. He wouldn’t latch at first, but the nurse who came to my home to check on me and baby managed to get him latched on. I was so thrilled! Man, my nipples were pretty sore though lol. After a while, he stopped latching again, but I soon figured out it was because I had overactive letdown (aka OALD). My milk was spraying into his mouth (try imagining drinking water from a powerful hose!) and that upset him. Thanks to the La Leche League site, I got this tip to spray my milk into a towel first and then latch him on. It worked! :)
Keep doing what you’re doing. Sounds like you’re doing great! I so remember the newborn feedings (growth spurts, cluster feedings, etc.) and it feels like all you’re doing is feeding the baby. Just remember, it is your baby signalling your body to make more milk, so keep feeding on demand and don’t watch the clock (something I learned and kept in mind when I had my second son). Once your baby gets older, the feedings will take less time because she will get more efficient at getting the milk out. You can also check out La Leche League website. If you run into any problems or have questions with breastfeeding, there might be a La Leche League leader you can contact.
I highly recommend mastering the side-lying position. That way you can rest while the baby eats and sleeps. Rest up and try to sleep when the baby sleeps. :) Oh, and if you haven’t already, try getting a good quality baby carrier (Ergo, Beco, Babyhawk, etc). Keeps your hands free, keeps your baby close to you and you can even nurse in them, too! Also, Eric can easily babywear as well.
I feel (felt?) your pain with the early breastfeeding struggles. My son was born underweight, and was too small and weak to latch well. I was trying to nurse, syringe-feeding and cup-feeding him, and then pumping every 3 hours around the clock. (Sometimes more often.) I was in so much pain, and then he developed thrush, and I nearly developed mastitis twice (raw garlic saved the day!), etc. SO glad to hear you kept at it! Now my son is 10 months old, and MOST days it’s effortless (although now he’s distracted and likes to grab my hair, earrings, shirt, etc. while we’re nursing and pop off to look around, lol).
I also understand the nostalgia for every day that goes by. I miss the days that are gone, and look forward to everything that hasn’t happened yet–all at the same time! Being a mom has turned me into the biggest sap ever.
Thanks for the updates. Oh, and I had your soul-soothing peanut stew for lunch. It’s awesome. Thanks for the updates and recipes! Enjoy that gorgeous girl!