At the end of her talk, Iylana left us with this quote:
“Don’t forget…success is the best revenge.”
The more I think about the quote the more I feel conflicted about it. For me, “happiness is the best revenge” fits better because I know from experience that success doesn’t necessarily equal personal satisfaction. I’ve been successful and miserable at the same time and I didn’t feel like I was proving anything to anyone. Success has to be personally – not outwardly - defined. I used to think that success was about the degree on the wall, the size of the paycheck, and the job title, but now my mindset has flipped 180. It doesn’t matter what other people think you have or don’t have…you have to feel it on a personal level above all else. Whatever it is that you find your passion in, don’t ever let yourself feel like it’s not good enough.
Here is a comment from Sarah in my first post that I really enjoyed:
Sarah said, “I’ve always gotten through tough times using a very similar quote straight from the mouth of Mom: “the best revenge is a good life.” It’s very freeing to think that we don’t need to feel, think, or act negatively to get ahead.”
The best revenge is a good life.
Man, I love this quote. Thank you for sharing Sarah (and Sarah’s mom)!
Up next is motivational speaker, life coach, TV host, and author Tony Robbins. You may have heard of him? :) To be honest, I didn’t know much about him until I saw his interview on the OWN network several weeks ago. I was really blown away by his story and how much he has overcome in his life.
Tony also knows how to make an entrance. The music was pumping and everyone was on their feet. He loves to get the audience clapping and having a good time. He’s just about one of the most high-energy people I have ever laid eyes on. It’s really contagious.
Tony’s speech was all about how we can get over our fears to live a better life. He says that many of us are scared, angry, and holding onto patterns and stories that hold us back from living the life we are meant to live.
Here are some lessons from his speech:
“Success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure.”
I completely agree that success without fulfillment is pointless. However, it’s often necessary for many of us to go through periods of time when we don’t feel fulfilled in order to grow and figure out where we should be. A lack of fulfillment has a definite purpose in our lives, so it’s important not to get down on ourselves if we feel lost. There can be a lot of pressure to always have our life and career figured out, but it’s totally normal not to. Moments of discomfort will propel you to figure out what it is that will make you happy. Sometimes it just takes longer than we expect.
“We are all deathly afraid that we’re not enough.”
I’ve struggled with low self-esteem since I was very young so I can relate to this a lot. I’m only now starting to realize that I’m already enough. You are all enough just as you are. We don’t need to DO something to prove that we are enough…we just are. When this clicked for me, I started to ease up on myself and appreciate the beauty in my life regardless of what I did or what I had. No matter who you are or how much you think you’ve failed, the recognition that you are already enough is freeing on many levels. Try it.
“We need to take risks to succeed and grow”
This is often hard for me to remember, but I do agree with it so much. The things I am most proud of in my life are the times when I stepped away from my fear and tried something that pushed me outside of my comfort zone. Tony says, instead of taking risks, we often make up a story as to why we can’t do something. How many times do you tell yourself you can’t do x, y, and z because of this or that? Start changing those thought patterns and replace them with I CAN TRY.
“It’s healthy to say ‘this is not good enough’!”
Many people fear complaining about their situation if they are unhappy. Tony reminds us that it can be very healthy to say ‘”this is not good enough for me” and “I deserve better”. In fact, it can be the most freeing thing you ever admit.
“You need a breakthrough when you decide it’s no more”
How to make a breakthrough:
1) Change your STATE. Emotion is created by motion in the body. Hold your head up high, smile at other people, walk with confidence! Don’t sulk, hunch over, frown. The fastest way to change your state is to change your body.
2) Create a strategy that’s effective
3) Change the story you have been telling yourself (change your story…change your life!)
On a successful relationships:
“Do what you did in the beginning and there won’t be an end!”
You didn’t measure and take score in the beginning of your relationship, so don’t do it now either.
“Stressed is the adult word for scared shitless.”
;)
and last but certainly not least…
How to change your state in seconds…celebrate like a kid for no reason!
Tony says society teaches adults that we should only celebrate when there is a reason (e.g., New Year’s Eve). Well, what would happen if you just celebrated for no other reason than your life?
Your life is a reason to celebrate. Tony cranked up the music and all 8,500 of us started jumping up in the air and screaming like we were at a rock concert. It was hilarious…and you know what? I was amazed by the surge in energy I felt afterwards.
Make no mistake, this audience is now alive. Thanks Tony….I got my voice back a couple days later.
Boy those first two points really resonated with me from Tony’s speech and I’m making strides in the right direction to work on the third. It’s amazing how much we can hold ourselves back and be our own worst critic. Some definite food for thought. Thanks so much for sharing your experience there. It sounds like it could be, as Oprah would say, a series of one “ah ha moment” after another!
congratulations on the loss. That is an amazing feat to accomplish
Thank you so much for sharing! I would have for sure bought tickets if they would have came to Ottawa… I’m actually reading Tony’s book right now: Awaken the Giant Within and I love it!!! I’ve learned so much already and I’m not even 1/3 done; he is just brilliant! p.s. I’ve been meaning to comment to tell you that I’ve tried at least a dozen of your recipes in the past 2 months and omg! they are amazing, I’ve told many people about your site :) Thank you!! and I can’t wait to get your book!!!
Thank you so much Elle :) I will have to check out his book!
Wow what uplifting and inspiring sentiments! It sounds like this entire event was really impactful and meaningful!
Thank you so much for sharing everything you got out of Oprah’s lifeclass. It sounds like such an amazing, life-changing experience!
Wow, thank you for sharing this! Getting over my fears has been the theme of my 25th year. I went to India alone a couple of months ago, and just announced today that I quit my job of 7 years to pursue blogging and nutrition consulting! Both actions were so scary; paralyzing even, but I believed in myself, knew I deserved it, and just did it.
Your story has been so inspiring, Angela. And that you continue to inspire us all with posts just like this one, is the reason I just can’t get enough of OSG!
I’m excited for you!
Wow, this is great stuff! I definitely think that many of us struggle with fear (even though we don’t realize it) that, for me at least, bears its head in the form of lack of self confidence. That makes me more defensive about stupid things in life and holds me back from many opportunities. I couldn’t sleep last night and was seriously thinking about all of this. I guess it’s time I do something about it!
And Leanne is right, you are such a motivator. :)
Isn’t it so easy to tell ourselves that we can’t do something because we’re scared? I have done that so many times in my life! When I think about it, I probably could’ve gotten through them all. Live and learn right? Goodluck!
It’s so easy! It’s more comfortable and you don’t have to worry about the risk of failure or what people will think about you. I really think that our tendency to compare ourselves to others is the easiest way to suck the joy out of life! When in all reality, I have nothing to be scared about (says the person who has a marathon next weekend AHH)…live and learn, you’re right. :-)
oops, i don’t know why that happened twice!
Goodluck with your marathon!
These are such inspiring quotes! Sounds like an amazing event. I love the idea that revenge is a happy life. Great post!
Again, great post Angela!
Tony had my ultra conservative mother jumping up and down during that exercise you spoke of, the energy in the room was incredible!
Thanks for summarizing Tony’s talk, I didn’t get to take as detailed notes as I would have liked so this is great ;)
hah that’s cute. I also loved the exercise he did to meet the other people around us. I’m so shy but it wasn’t too hard…if anything it felt really good.
Super inspiring – thanks for sharing! This sounds a lot like what I am learning at the Institute for Integrative Nutrition! :) I am going to print this out!
Oooh love that relationship advice! And also what you and Tony said about success. Our culture makes us feel like a failure if we don’t have the perfect career, but life is about the small stuff and how you live life everyday. I love this quote by Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh: “Our own life has to be our message.” Your blog really shares your passion for being happy and healthy!
I like that quote, thanks for sharing Angela!
I love Tony Robbins’ advice!! I have to say though, that any statement that begins with “The best revenge is…” has negativity involved already, no matter how the statement ends. It puts the focus in the wrong spot. Maybe I’m splitting hairs here, but I would much prefer to simply say “I lived a good life” than “I got revenge by living a good life.” :) I’m grateful to read your notes, and while I don’t comment often, I just want to say how much I love your blog and recipes; thank you for sharing your journey as well as your delicious recipes. You’ve been a very helpful hand in helping me getting my life back on a healthy track.
I was thinking that too…isn’t revenge the wrong word? At any rate, I get the meaning and also like your take on it too. Thanks for your kind words Kristina…I appreciate it.
I agree with where you guys were going but I interpreted that quote in a totally different way :) I feel like Iylana already views success as personally defined. ‘Success’ has such a loose interpretation, why assume someone just means that narrow view of money, a nice job and a pretty house? And secondly, I view the use of the word ‘revenge’ more like that’s proof that you don’t need revenge. My thought process kind-of sees the quote as the best revenge is none at all. That’s just the message I got out of the phrase, but it’s always interesting to think about how others interpret stuff like this! Kristina, I totally agree with you though about the ‘I lived a good life’ :)
Great post, Angela!
Great points!
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Tony Robbins. He is AMAZING. I want to go to one of his workshop weekends it would be really cool to check it out. Glad you had a chance to check this out. I wanted to go but didn’t have the chance to get tickets.
Bless you!! These are making my day, keep them coming. Sometimes we all need a reminder, that YES you are worth it, and YES you can do it.
Love.This.
Thank you SO much for sharing. I have been so “stressed” (scared shitless” lately because I am moving across the country in a month to go to school. I’m almost 30 years old (sigh) and I’ve often felt like I “missed the bus” when it came to figuring out what I want to do with my life. Now that I finally know, I’ve been so hard on myself b/c I fear that I’ll be the old woman in school. I have also been hard on myself b/c most of my friends are married and starting to have children and I’m just now going back to school! Single.
This quote really hit me:
“There can be a lot of pressure to always have our life and career figured out, but it’s totally normal not to. Moments of discomfort will propel you to figure out what it is that will make you happy. Sometimes it just takes longer than we expect.”
Thank you again. Keep the inspiration coming!
MJ
Thanks for sharing. I know you may see it as an uncomfortable thing to be going back to school at 30 and not being where your friends are, but I see it as being brave and following your heart. It take GUTS! Good for you…let me know how it goes. :) It’s never too late to learn…
Funny, I remember my dad saying “Living well is the best revenge.” I looked it up and it’s attributed to clergyman George Herbert, born in 1593. Timeless, eh?
wow…1593? That’s fun :)
YES! “A good life is the best revenge” has been my mantra since I was little!
When I told one of my friends about it, she questioned the use of the word ‘revenge’, noting that it sounds like you have to hurt others to have a good life.
But really, it’s all about showing others just how much you can do with your life – yet not caring what they think, either.
Thanks Angela!
Yea I guess it’s really how you interpret the word revenge. In our society, it’s always viewed as something negative, but I guess it can be taken lightly too.
Thanks for sharing your experience! I completely agree with what you said about the “success is the best revenge” quote. It’s funny that people still measure success on money and notoriety, two things we know do not magically make people happy. Happiness and a good life to me arent the best ‘revenge’, because if you are a content person you do not seek revenge. Instead I think happiness is the best example for people. If you do things that make you happy, it will rub off on others and make them want to be like you.. Which is a great thing! I think the best ‘revenge’ on people who perhaps didn’t believe in you, is having them seek to be like you one day :) thank you for these great posts Angela!
I have to give a presentation on wednesday and seeing the picture of tony robbins in front of that crowd baffles me. I am nervous about a crowd of 40 people. I dont know why I get so nervous, I wish I didnt.
I have decided that no matter how much I practice (because I have been practicing A LOT) I am still going to be nervous.
How do you guys cope with pre-presentation jitters??
I hear you. I’ve been anxious with public speaking my whole life. I think Tony actually said he used to be really scared to public speak when he first started, but with practice he’s a “natural”. I always tried to do some deep breathing beforehand, no caffeine in the AM (as it can increase nerves), and just be well prepared. Sounds like you have that covered. I also find that once I get going the nerves dissipate. Think about how proud you will feel afterward. Goodluck!
Love this! Thank you so much for sharing!
Loving these recaps since I couldn’t afford the steep $250 ticket price that was left after the cheaper seats sold out. Tony is amazing. I recorded the portion of the session they aired and will be re-watching it many many times. Thanks for sharing!
I’m glad you are enjoying them Lisa. :)