"The work you do while you procrastinate is probably the work you should be doing for the rest of your life." -Jessica Hische
Aside from delicious vegan food, there isn’t a topic I enjoy discussing more than career happiness. It’s something I’m deeply passionate about and thrilled when I can throw ideas around with other people.
I could talk about it until I’m blue in the face. But, I guess that is pretty evident below.
Keep in mind, I really have no idea what I’m doing most days and I’m not here to give you advice on your unique academic or career situation. I can offer insight from my own experiences and lessons learned along the way. My goal for this post is to create a place for discussion so everyone can join in and offer their input, stories, and insight. That’s when the magic happens!
My story in short:
I graduated in October 2006 with a BAH degree in Psychology and minor in Family and Child Studies. In October 2008, I graduated with a Master’s Degree w/ Honours in Social Psychology. Prior to graduating, I interviewed for a full-time research position during Spring 2008. It was offered to me and I took it even though my gut told me that the timing wasn’t right. I was already a full-time grad student and part-time teaching assistant which kept me very busy.
But I took the job anyways even though every instinct I had was saying DON’T DO IT.
Lesson #1: Listen to your gut.
Eric and I were also planning our wedding to be held on Aug. 31, 2008. Stress was at an all-time high as I juggled courses, my thesis, a new demanding job, and wedding planning. My eating disorder got bad during this time and I often starved myself or over-exercised to deal with my emotions.
In October 2008, I was happy to be graduating, but I still wasn’t enjoying my career as a researcher like I thought I should be. While the money flowed, it didn’t matter.
On October 31, 2008 I started Oh She Glows as a hobby in an effort to add some joy back into my life.
Oh, and joy it brought!
This blog was in essence, ‘the work I did while I procrastinated’, as the opening quote mentions above. I blogged at breakfast, during my lunch break, and after dinner, for months. It was a lot of work, but looking back, it was the best positive escape I could’ve had to get me through that time.
This blog gave me the courage to pursue my passions full-time so I planned my actual escape and in early 2009, I quit.
It was the scariest, yet best thing I could have done.
Below are some of your career change questions that you posed on facebook last week.
How did you find your passion?
1. Get rid of life toxins
Until I was about 24-25 years old, my hobbies were calorie counting, the scale, and exercising. I didn’t have any real hobbies aside from playing sports throughout school and if you asked me what my passions were I would have stared at you blankly. To find my passions, I had to get rid of life toxins that weighed me down. Once I entered recovery for my eating disorder, I was able to add positivity back into my life such as finding new hobbies and activities. We need to get rid of things weighing us down to make room for inspiration, creativity, and authenticity.
2. Give yourself Me Time
It’s easy to say ‘I don’t have time right now’, but this is when it’s especially important to take time out for yourself. I gave myself permission to do things I enjoyed whether it be hanging out with friends, baking, reading, or spending time with Eric. Even if it was only 30 minutes a day, it was my time to do what I wanted and slowly discover activities that I enjoyed. ‘Me time’ allows us to figure out what it is that makes us happy.
3. Allow creativity to flow
Shortly after graduating, I started my blog which turned out to be the real gateway to discovering my passions. What better creative outlet than having a blank slate each day to write whatever inspires me? As a creative person, I consider my blog a virtual vision board. I can write about whatever I want which was a stark contrast to my role as a researcher. Overtime, I discovered that I had tapped into a huge passion in my life. (Another creative outlet I love is Pinterest). If there’s a voice inside you that suggests you try something out, give it a shot because it could be your hidden passion!
4. Look to your childhood
Look back to your childhood and ask yourself what activities you enjoyed. The passions we have as children are clues to what we might enjoy as adults.
As a child I loved:
- Playing house and school with all kinds of characters, names, and story-telling
- Playing with Barbie’s & Lego and creating stories about the ‘people’
- Polaroid, disposable, and film cameras !!!
- Writing Fiction stories
- Drawing, painting, crafting
- Baking & easy-bake ovens
- Playing with friends and animals
- The outdoors, playing outside for hours, skipping, building snow forts
- Track & Field, softball
My passions today seem to have the same underlying characteristics, albeit through different forms and expressions!
How did you know that your career was the right choice long-term?
Nothing in life is a sure bet, but my instincts told me I was on the right path. Sometimes hope, a good feeling, and a positive outlook are the only things we have. If I told myself I couldn’t do it, I would probably still be at my old job. Oh She Glows started out as a hobby while I did my ‘real work’. It turned out that I not only enjoyed blogging, but I fell in love with it. The blog and bakery brought together my passions like inspirational writing, healthy food, cooking/baking, fitness, and helping others.
When I couldn’t imagine myself not doing it, I knew I had found something special. It’s sort of like knowing you’ve met the person you want to spend your life with. I knew Eric was the one for me because I couldn’t imagine us apart. I felt the same way with my new career.
How did you deal with a severe pay cut?
Not getting a regular pay check in the bank every two weeks was difficult to deal with. I struggled with an identity-crisis (who was I now that I didn’t have a full-time job and steady income?) and insecurity (what would others think of me?). I had to make financial cutbacks in every aspect of my life. I only spent money on essentials like food and bills. I didn’t spend money on entertainment, eating out, clothing, or anything that I didn’t think was a necessity at the time. I got used to the cutbacks after a couple months and many of my money-saving habits stuck with me.
Do you think you would have taken that leap if it was just you taking care of you? I admire what you do and would give a kidney to be in your shoes, but just don’t feel that it’s possible for me. I’m not pessimistic–I am proud and satisfied with what I’ve done–but I’m realistic.
I would’ve left my research position eventually, but probably not as quickly had I been single. I saved consistently for almost a year before I left my research position so I could cover my share of the bills for the first while, but if I was single I probably would’ve stayed in the field for another 2-3 years so I could save up enough to feel stable financially. I knew in my heart that I wasn’t meant to be a researcher so I would’ve done what was necessary to change my career path even if it wasn’t as soon as I wanted. I’m a firm believer that planning and preparation is crucial if you are serious about making a career change. If you think it will never happen, you are probably right.
How did you take the leap with a career change?
Quitting my job was not an impulsive decision even though it may seem that way. It was a calculated decision that I planned for months before actually quitting. I flip flopped back and forth all the time, but ultimately, I knew in my heart that I had to go through with it. The day that I quit was not planned though. It just happened to be a really bad day that fueled my fire. :)
How do I know what my strengths are?
Growing up, I never really considered myself good at much. In my late teens, when I was trying to figure out what career I would enjoy, I asked Eric what I was good at because I had no clue. If you are lost about your own strengths, ask your family members or your partner. Most people can identify strengths in other people much easier than they can in themselves. Also, think about things that you do well. Are you an expert Sudoku player? Maybe you have a strength in problem solving. Are you great at knitting? Maybe you have a strong attention to detail and lots of patience. Do you love making lists and hosting parties? Maybe you have strengths in event planning. Do you love to bake? Maybe you have a sweet tooth like me. heheh…
Oddly enough, I went to see a Career Counselor during my first year of university because I was having doubts about my career path. After answering a battery of tests, I was told that I was suited for a creative field, such as teaching, writing, culinary arts, fashion design, or photography. A test could detect my strengths when I couldn’t detect them in myself. I highly recommend seeing a Career Counselor if you can.
I want to change careers, but my fear of other family members judging me is paralyzing. How did you get over worrying about what others thought?
This was my biggest hurdle of all. I think most of us care deeply about what our loved ones think, whether we like to admit it or not. I had so much anxiety to tell my friends and family that I quit. It almost kept me from quitting at all.
Ultimately, I realized that I couldn’t live my life for other people. We lost a friend suddenly to cancer in 2008 and it really made me change the way I live my life. I stopped beating myself up and worrying about what others thought. I don’t know how long my life will be, but I do know that I’m now living it authentically rather than putting off happiness for another day.
I would love to hear how it felt to walk away from a career you had invested so much time and money in!
The day I quit was a mix of negative and positive emotions. I felt shame, guilt, relief, anxiety, happiness, worry…you name it (see my I Quit post).
Do I regret the 7 years I spent in university? Not a chance. I now know what will make me happy in a career and what won’t. I may have figured it out the hard way, but I’m happy I did at all. An education is invaluable, even if not used in the traditional way that its intended (is it ever these days?). I still feel like I’m fulfilling my goal of helping other people (which is what drew me to psychology), but perhaps not in the way I initially imagined. The twists and turns of life are often the greatest.
How do you deal with isolation when making the change even though you know it’s an unhealthy career for you?
Losing contact with my coworkers was very isolating, especially during the first few months when I was feeling a gamut of negative emotions and questioning my path in life. In the workplace, coworkers are great for venting about problems, forming friendships, and leaning on when you need some support or advice. When I quit my job, I was on my own during workday hours. No one could figure it out but me and that was really scary.
Whether you are having a baby, moving, or taking on another big adjustment, surrounding yourself with supportive people helps so much. I talked to Eric, close family, friends, and on the blog. My mom always tells me that there is no greater joy than knowing your child is happy. If you can wake up each day and feel happy about where you’re going, you’re already a success.
“It isn’t necessary to know exactly how your ideal life will look; you only have to know what feels better and what feels worse…Begin making choices based on what makes you feel freer and happier, rather than on how you think an ideal life should look. It’s the process of feeling our way toward happiness, not the realization of the Platonic ideal, that creates our best lives.” ~Martha Beck
What she said. :)
~~
For a recap of how I changed careers and my full story, check out my ‘A Year Can Change A Lot’ Series:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, and Part 10 (1 year later)
I think it’s wonderful that you are able to do what you love, Angela! I know how it is to be miserable in a career field… in 2008 I started veterinary school, which by the way is really hard to get into. Everyone said how ‘lucky’ I was to be there (actually, I worked pretty hard for it, thank you very much) but as soon as I unpacked my bags I knew deep down that I did NOT want to be there. I ended up dropping out of school after only a month… the shortest career in University of Tennessee vet school history. It was the right decision for me, I was so unhappy I couldn’t stay there another minute.
Now, 3 years later, I’m one semester away from finishing nursing school. I discovered I love labor and delivery nursing. What could possibly be more rewarding than helping to bring a baby into this world? L&D jobs are hard to find, because lots of nurses want them, but I think my obvious passion for the work will help me land the job :)
Wow what a great story! So cool that you were able to get out earlier rather than later too.
I’m have a similar story that is still ongoing. I got my PhD in chemistry last year and I’m now doing a postdoc in the same field. Jobs are non-existent, and if I did find one I would have to live in or near a big city. I’m looking for something to do so I can live somewhere quite with abundant outdoor activities! If I leave my discipline that is NINE YEARS of schooling gone. I think I’ll just stick out the postdoc and see where it takes me.
Le sigh.
What a great post Angela! I blessed to have a choice in my life to do what I want to do. And it is very important to have a support of the loved ones. And it is true that having a supportive partner makes life much easier when it comes to making hard choices rather than when you’re on your own.
This post could not have come at a better time. Thank you so much for sharing your experience. It is so, so easy to get caught up in the “should” of a situation that we often forget to ask ourselves what we really want. This is our only shot at life. Today. Right now. Thank you for the reminder.
Exactly :)
Hi Angela:
Loved this post and reading the responses – so many passionate, talented ladies out there who have a lot to offer! 6 years ago I was sitting in a job that I was not happy with and to afraid to leave. It took my husband (fed up with my oft long face) to convince me we wouldn’t sink if I left and that I could always temp until something came up. As it turned out, the day I handed my notice in, the family I babysat for were looking for a more part time for their newborn and combined with temping, was enough for 6 months. Then the father of the newborn offered me a P/T position at his (small) video editing company and that’s where I ended up, gradually learning as I went and now I’m an editor. Happy ending, right?
Well, sort of. While I do like my job (there are definitely issues within the company that are a stress for me), I am finding myself at that point again where I know what I want to do, but lack the confidence to just go for it. Even though it seems lately that everything I read is from a megaphone into my ear – make it happen!!! Plus I am into the baby stage, so need to consider that too. My feeling is it will all end up being happy insanity, if I just take a leap :)
Thanks for sharing your story Lizzie. I know everything will work out because you seem dedicated to finding it :)
Hi Angela! I love this post! Will probably be reading this anytime I feel any doubts towards my decisions. You pretty much hit all the points that have seriously been stressing me out the past year. You are truly inspirational!
I love your very first quote on this post. Long story short, I was the definition of a “job hopper” before the recession. I held all kinds of administrative jobs from in the finance, insurance, and all kinds of industries. I hated it. When I got laid off in 2008, I decided to follow my dream of attending culinary school. It was the best time of my life. It was awesome to be around people that love everything about food. I went to work in a restaurant after graduation and realized I hated it, the hours, the meager wages, working the weekends. I was miserable. I quit. Found a short stint working in the office of a restaurant and that didn’t work out either.
I realized that I really loved baking, I wasn’t great at it since I went to school for culinary and not pastry. Found a part-time job, and fully want to pursue my own cupcake/desserts business and help my BF startup his fitness bootcamp business. I feel the most happiest baking, training hard and helping him put together his fitness classes. But there are those times where I doubt myself. It’s hard when we’re both financially unstable and just starting out. Today was one of those days where I felt a bit depressed about my money situation and just doubts all around. So thank you Angela for your lovely and inspiring post!
Oh Jess I can really relate to your worries! I’ve been through so many financial worries over the past 2-3 years. I think to some degree they will always be there as long as I’m self employed, but it does get easier. The start up phase is so tough. Not sure if you are aware of this, but the Canadian government offers small business grants if you apply. If you are in the US it’s worth looking into as well.
I love this…I’m where you were years ago, planning & taking the steps. It’s scary, but I know it’s what I want, I know it’ll make me happy, & I know I can do it :)
LOVE this story, especially since I’m in the process of questioning EVERYTHING right now. How do I merge all of my passions into one career? Its scary.
However, I found this great article that I think is so helpful to anyone questioning their careers, their relationships, and their lives in general. Angela – the last part is SO true for you.
http://www.owningpink.com/blogs/owning-pink/it-s-not-going-to-turn-out-the-way-you-thought
Thank you for being such an inspiration and beacon of hope for so many of us!
Thanks I will check it out!
Hello Angela
Don’t think I have posted on your blog before, but follow regularly :)
This post was just what I needed to read today. I have been thinking about a career change for years and I finally know what path to go down, but don’t know how to get there… I am working on that, but thanks for sharing what worked for you…
Kristy
Thank you Kristy :) All the best
I love this post, thank you for sharing your story. I’m a big fan of sharing your journey with others, it really does help them move forward in their own lives! xo
Hi Angela, this post is just what I needed today. The quote at the beginning of the post spoke to me and it replayed in my mind all day. Thank you for sharing your experience!
It is amazing and inspiring that you have been able to make a career out of your passion – thanks for sharing so generously about your process. I have been contemplating a shift for myself – I am a therapist and love working with people but see myself working in different ways with people and in my own practice. It does mean some more training in different areas, not being able to bill insurances as I can now, and losing the steady paycheck while incurring expenses. I have three young boys so am just being patient, knowing things will evolve as they need to and doing some trainings as I am able to now. I have also wanted to start a blog for awhile. I did one while we lived in another country and found it to be incredibly cathartic – letting my creative side out a bit and just opening up another side of me. Kind of like journaling (which I have done since I was 9) but different somehow.There are so many blogs though – I am not sure what my niche would be and know my goal would have to be to do it for me – not for anyone else ( it would be a bonus if others read it!). It was so time consuming though – not sure I need one more thing on my plate…. Thanks for all you do!
I’m glad I found my passion and developed my goals for the future in high school. My sophomore year I started reading books and browsing the web on holistic treatments for acne; overtime this lead to information on nutrition (eating healthy makes you feel and look good!) and all things regarding health and well-being. The broad topic of health just fascinates me. Now I’m a sophomore in college, majoring in nutritional science and plan to become a registered dietitian. The great thing about becoming an R.D. is that there are so many career possibilities out there. I definitely would not want a desk job, but something more interactive, fun and rewarding. I’d like to teach people how they can improve their well-being and lead healthy lifestyles. Start a health blog and open my own practice. Write a book. Ah, the possibilities!
This is awesome. As someone about to go into a career field, I’m in different shoes, but it’s great to see another perspective. I think the biggest piece of advice is to follow your heart and do what you love. If you love what your doing, it won’t feel like work. There’s no reason to stay in a job you don’t absolutely love and want to stick with for a while…I think if you imagine yourself leaving the career later on, it’s best to rethink the decision early-on. I’m almost positive I want to be a Kindergarten teacher, I’ve wanted to be one literally all my life…but there are SOOOOO many other things I want to do too.
You’re always honest Angela, and I love that about this blog! It sounds so romantic to pursue your dreams, but there’s a lot behind the scenes that many don’t realize.
I had a 2 year plan prior to quitting my job to go back to grad school – saving every penny so that I could do it. It has been isolating in many ways as well. I have met wonderful people, but many are in a different life stage so it’s not quite the same. The financial and social impact has been anxiety provoking at times, but deep down I know I am doing the right thing for me right now. That’s all I can ask of myself. You gave some great advice in this post!
Perfect timing for this post for me and as I read it I kept nodding my head in agreement. I’m at that crossroads now and it’s a battle between my head and my heart. It’s horrible having such a mixed bag of emotions and I feel as though I am arguing with myself constantly. This post has cemented what my heart wants and now I’m going to start planning… Thanks Angela.
“I feel as though I am arguing with myself constantly.” You hit the nail on the head!! I feel the same way most days and it can be absolutely exhausting.
Soooo exhausting and at the end of the day, I still never know which side won.
Thank you so much for writing this post!! I have been struggling with similar career issues for about 3 years now and am constantly running through different options in my head of what to do with my life. You are truly and inspiration and I stayed up late to read your entire “A Year Can Change A Lot” series. You’ve helped provide me with motivation and assurance that I’m not alone and I can take control of my life & happiness :) Love your blog!
You are so brave! I read the whole story and I really admire how you took control of your life and now have something great to show for it! I’m always so scared to make huge changes and your story is inspirational.
I can REALLY relate to this post. it’s almost funny. I, too, wanted to help people, so I obtained a BA in psychology and an MA in counseling. I worked for two years as a counselor, and was unhappy the whole time. It just didn’t fit. I tried to make it, and so did my boss, but it wasn’t right for me. I quit that job, after thinking about it for a looong time, without a new job in place, but with a determination to follow my dreams. Now I’m going back for another Master’s (in nonprofit administration) and a goal of turning my volunteer work in animal rescue and adoption into a career. I find it inspiring to read someone’s account of having gone through the same experiences and coming out for the better on the other side. I hope to be there soon, too. Thank you for the positive words.
Angela we love reading about your story, thank you for sharing! You constantly inspire us to be better, to work harder, all while staying true to who we are. We are both so happy to have found your blog because it is one place we can come for hope, inspiration, and self-care, so we thank you for that. We question our career choice all the time, is it right for us, are we making a difference….it is scary, but we do love it, and only hope we can help others like you do.
best wishes!
lori and michelle