Since I announced my pregnancy last year, I’ve been asked quite often whether we would raise our baby vegan. If I saw the question on my blog or social media, I would respond by saying that we decided not to label her diet or lifestyle and I explained why if I had the time. Since I was asked this question so frequently I recently decided to write a blog post on the topic to be transparent about our decision (see: Will you raise your daughter a vegan?). I’ve always been an open book on the blog and figured I could share our thoughts and also ask you to share your own experiences. I enjoy hearing other perspectives because I’ve never been someone who thinks that there is one correct way to do anything. What works for one family might not work for others.
As I expected, there was a wide range of opinions on the topic. Many of you left thought-provoking and respectful comments (whether you agreed or not), and I greatly enjoyed reading them. They led to some wonderful discussions with friends and family this week. However, there were some hateful and threatening comments attacking me, my family, and our decision. According to some, I’m no longer welcome to call myself vegan. This wasn’t entirely surprising; over the past 6 years I’ve often been accused of not being “vegan enough”, being “too mainstream”, or not “doing enough for the vegan movement”, yet here I was receiving hundreds of comments and emails each month from readers telling me my recipes changed their lives, that they were happy to be helping animals, reducing their carbon footprint, and getting healthy even if they weren’t “perfect”. Apparently, my welcoming and non-judgmental approach was indeed the catalyst for major change.
I realize that the scrutiny I’ve faced over the years is from a small percentage of vegans. Tearing each other down is never conducive to furthering the movement though. The majority of vegans I know are incredibly kind and compassionate both to animals and humans alike. However, the personal attacks have made me reflect greatly about whether this label continues to be right for me. Do I want to live my life striving for an elusive perfection that I know I’m too flawed to ever achieve? Or can I do it my way? While some of you will say “don’t let it bother you” and “don’t let them win” I’ll be honest in telling you that experiencing hate on a public forum from your own community wears you down over time. It’s a distraction from my overall purpose and you know what, it sure as hell takes the fun out of the journey.
In the end, I will keep on doing my thing, but without a personal label on my diet or lifestyle. Going forward you can expect to see the same types of crowd-pleasing plant-based recipes on this blog and in my next cookbook; this is how I love to eat and what makes me happy. My goal has always been to encourage others to reduce their animal consumption and embrace more plants in their diet. This is my passion in life not only because of how it has greatly improved my own and those close to me, but for countless other reasons. I still believe that the greatest change happens when we elevate one another, celebrate progress, and of course, share delicious food that challenges the norms of the standard diet. So that’s exactly what I intend to keep doing. There are many ways in which compassionate individuals can spread their message and this is what speaks to my heart. I have no doubt there is something out there for everyone.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the years, and also, for reminding me why it’s important to remain authentic even in spite of criticism.
Angela
Please note comments are now closed – May 20/15
Not sure I’ve ever commented before, but I’ve followed your blog for a long time! Since I’m in a similar position – vegan with a non-vegan hubby, I’ve struggled with the same decision as to what to feed my 9 month old daughter. In the end, I think we’ll do something similar. When I cook, she’ll eat (mostly) nutritious, plant-based foods. When she’s with her daddy or out with her friends, I won’t prevent her from trying new foods. I don’t want to force her into a diet that she may later resent and rebel against…and I’ll just hope she ultimately prefers the veggies. :) Just wanted to tell you I found your post inspiring and send some good vibes!!!
One of the reasons I love your blog is because you’ve never been a preachy vegan. Sometimes I eat meat and dairy and sometimes I don’t. And I’m okay with that, and you never made me feel less-than for that. I’m sorry you had to deal with hurtful comments.
Hi Angela! I’ve been reading and using your recipes since I first started a plant-based diet way back in 2009. I just want to add to the chorus of thank you’s. Your site and book are the first my husband and I turn to for new ideas, they are the recipes we send to my Lithuanian mother-in-law when we come to visit and she wants to know what to cook for us, and my step-mom — who is not vegetarian but has many food sensitivities — frequents your site and loves finding creative, healthy meals she can enjoy safely. I’ve turned many friends on to you and will do so forever! You’ve made me and my family healthier and happier. You truly have impacted our lives and do so every week. THANK YOU!
Please don’t ever stop doing what you are doing, or being who you are! It is unfortunate that people feel the need to voice to voice their negative opinions about what you are doing,but their comments don’t matter. I love your recipes, they have really changed my life in a positive way. The negative things that people say about others are only a reflection of themselves, not of those who they are being hateful toward. and who needs labels anyway!
Cant wait for some new recipes to try!
I’ve read the posts, I’ve read most of the comments here and on Facebook. I agree with a lot of what everyone is saying, on both sides. If I had to pick a label I am an ethical vegan. I have thought about it a lot since this all started and I thank everyone who joined in on this for making me think deeply. I appreciate passion and commitment. However I don’t agree with everyone all the time, including myself ha! So let’s move on.
I am not interested in judging anyone. What I am interested in is getting another delicious recipe from Angela. She wants to avoid labels from now on and I can understand that, so don’t say it’s vegan, don’t say it’s plant based just say it is delicious!! I think the best thing for everyone would be if the next time we visited this website we were smacked in the face with a recipe we cannot wait to make.
I for one am looking forward to that and never mind the rest of it.
This is the first time I’ve written a comment on your blog although I’ve been religiously following it for years. Your post is incredibly inspiring and your strength amazes me. It literally brought tears to my eyes. Thank you for staying true to what you believe in regardless of the cruel criticism. What you stand for and what you do touches lives all around the world. You truly are glowing from the inside out, thank you!
Just wanted to share that I have been reading your blog since 2009 and truly believe that you are an inspiration for healthy, thoughtful eating. You rock! :)
Angela–
I have suffered the same thing, although my work is much more obscure than yours, but I still understand the sting of judgment that sometimes comes from certain factions of the vegan community. Their attitudes are hateful and violent, and I don’t see how directing that violence toward other people is any different that directing it toward any other animal.
I’ve also witnessed at times over the decades a certain level of elitism in the organic foods community in general–a thing I have never been able to understand and find shameful. For these reasons I have over the years withdrawn myself from a number of groups where I was hoping to have an influence. I can’t be part and parcel with such attitudes as I believe we are here to love each other.
So, bravo for standing up and saying something. I AM a vegan to my definition because I promote eating as close to 100% plant-based as is possible, and all the recipes I create are now vegan (in my first book, that was not the case, because it was a book of exploration and learning about meatless eating, yet I took a beating for the fact that my publisher used the words “plant-based” in my subtitle), but I believe that it is much healthier to take in a few calories a week from an animal source–even down to having cream from a well-loved cow in my coffee in the a.m. and occasionally eating a piece of wild-caught north-waters salmon as part of my spiritual practice. And, yes, I will eat honey collected from hives kept by benevolent keepers. I also have family members who hunt with bow and arrow, and I will not tolerate judgment of them and their practices, either.
Please continue to bless us all with your gifts. Light a candle for those whose imperfections cause you pain. And kiss that baby for all us grandmothers.
Your diligent fan,
Paula Marie Coomer
Writing a comment on someone’s blog is not the same thing as letting an animal suffer. Come on.
This is why I gave up on my vegan Meetup group–people can be so judgmental and holier-than-thou. Granted, some people do achieve a 100% vegan lifestyle. For some of us, that’s too difficult. If there’s a pill I need (which does/could happen, even with whole foods plant-based diet), I am going to take it and not worry about the gelatin on the capsule. I avoid leather in jewelry, handbags, belts, and jackets—but because my feet are so difficult to fit, I sometimes have to get leather shoes. I feed my cat meat because she is an obligate carnivore. And don’t get me started as to how hypocritical some animal rights people are—against the zoo, but willing to confine their dogs to a crate for 12 hours while they are out so the dog doesn’t mess up the home!
Angela, you have done so much to encourage people to eat better and kinder. That’s a huge achievement—don’t let anyone tell you you are doing it wrong. Even your tea has helped me—for the first time ever I am drinking tea without sugar since the flavors aer so great—and not getting all the artificial junk that is added to most teas.
Love your post today. Reflects my own thoughts about it all too :) thank you for your recipes. I use them almost every night and you re-inspired my cooking! Wish you all the best <3
I am vegetarian and so is my husband and we raised our kids as vegetarians but when they reached the age where they had an opinion about what they ate, we let them choose. They now eat some meat when we are out or with friends or family who are not vegetarians. I’m so sorry you have to endure all the craziness on the internet. I hope you find strength to keep on doing what you do, ignore all the distractions and make the best decisions for your family. I love your recipes and am grateful for all of your hard work
I am no longer vegan. I hardly ever eat animal products, can go months on a ‘vegan’ diet but will only ever call myself ‘plant based’, even if I never touch or wear an animal product again. The reason is that I’ve had negative experiences from angry vegans that seem disconnected from reality. I’ve been verbally abused for these things:
1. I have a horse, and I ride him. It’s the best way to exercise a horse. Riding horses is not vegan. I had ridiculous suggestions like run beside him or just never ride him.
2. I believe that little things help. Eating less animal products, going vegan Mon to Fri, and avoiding the cruelest products (dairy, factory farmed meat, factory eggs) .. These things ARE good and should be encouraged. NOT VEGAN.
3. The scary movies showing horrible animal abuse do not represent the reality of farming in many countries. In my country, these films have nil effect because they are not what happens. When I say ‘that’s not what happens here..’ NOT VEGAN.
So yes, I’m not vegan. Proudly ;) Who wants to be an uptight nutbar?
Angela, I can’t beleive ANYONE would criticize YOU! You are amazing and inspire me personally each and everyday! I religiously read your blog, make your recipes, and pre-ordered your First cookbook , want to pre-order your second cookbook, and bought multiple digital and paperback books for myself, friends, and family! You help us all eat better and healthier for our bodies and the planet! I loooove that almost all don’t have soy and “Processed Vegan” mock meats! That’s processed…not whole food! You also consider nutrition! And your recipes are accurate and work, but taste delicious! You inspire me each time I read your posts! I think you and a Eric are wonderful parents! As an educator with dual degrees in Biology and Chemistry, you are doing the without a doubt the right thing raising your daughter to choose what is right for her! She will be educated, well informed, and exposed to many different things in life! Please don’t ever give in to vile individuals who will publically bully someone on a public forum! Put your chin up and smile! You give me hope ! Each and everyday I wake up and hope to eat more and more like you! You ARE a wonderful gift to us! And I thank you for all of your care, hard work, and delicious healthy recipes! Kristen
Angela, Hi..its me again! These haters are nuts! They are attacking you..who has shared nothing but amazing plant based vegan recipes… for allowing your daughter (who is being breastfed by you who is eating plant based and trying avocado as her first food which is a fruit, and who was in utero with your plant based diet) a choice and being married to a supportive, living, amazing husband! Ignore them all! Bullying an innocent intelligent family down is abuse! I apologize for the how disgusting it has become! Animals get abused and it is a horror that needs to be stopped and innocent people get abused and that has to stop too! Please please please don’t let them get you down! Rise up and reclaim who you are..wonderful, glowing, and amazing! Kristen
And lastly, you and Eric created your daughter, birthed your daughter, are great parents, and are raising your daughter! Does any “vegan” open their eyes to see the humans suffering on earth because they can’t be fed educated and clothed! If you are going to throw ridiculous stones..open your eyes..yes we agree about the animals, but what about the humans? I have pets treated like kings and Tzars but children / students forgotten, not fed, clothed, or cared for! They end up in jail, after a ton of interventions that are documented….which isn’t that a cage!?! Open your eyes world! Don’t you ever attack an amazing caring ethical family! Angela..Easter is Sunday! Rise above the ignorance! We love and support you! You are an amazing family! Kristen
Angela –
I was so sad to hear how you’ve been treated and judged for the decisions you’ve made for your family. The decisions we make for our children are very personal, well thought out ones and what we feel is for their best interest and I know yours are no different. It is wrong for someone to judge you for your decisions and I support you 1000%! You are an awesome mama. Your family is beautiful and you are absolutely doing everything exactly how you’re supposed to. I enjoy your blog and recipes SO much – I tell all my friends. I have not come across any recipe i don’t like.
Similar to your family, my husband is not vegetarian. I am, and do some dairy, and we have a 14 month old. I am still not sure what we are going to do with her diet but so far she has been meat-free. Everybody has to find their own path and whatever one chooses is the right one for them. Keep up the good work and don’t let the bastards get you down!
Much love to you and your family,
Tiffany
PS
I also enjoyed reading your touching birth story!
Hi Angela, long time reader/first time commenter here.
I was “strictly vegan” for several years in my 20s. But prior to that I was macrobiotic, and one thing I learned from being macro was the practice of listening to my body, and eating from a place of inner knowing. When I started having health problems due to my vegan diet, I had a hard time listening, because of this idea of sticking to values rather than listening to my intuition of what was right for me. When I finally began adding in animal products again, my health improved. Similarly, after I had a baby and was breastfeeding, I had intense cravings for meat for the first time in 25 years of being vegetarian. This was much harder to deal with, because going back “on my pact” to not eat animals felt like I was betraying myself, and them. But I did finally add in a little bit…things like bone broth, the occasional fish or bacon. Again, my health improved.
Sticking to a value system is useless if it’s not supporting you. Diet is personal and individual. I like Pollan’s advice…”Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants.”
Rock on. Don’t let the (vegan) turkeys get you down. Thanks for all you do.
P.s….we’ve given our daughter her choice in what to eat (within our primary diet of whole foods). At five years old, she has come to being vegetarian of her own accord. When we’re supported in making our own choices, we truly choose what feels best to us. Xoxo
Great reading Mary !
Great parenting !!
Cute dog ,♥
Brigitte Estelle Gaudreault
Québec, Montréal Canada
Your authenticity is lovely and your recipes are delicious. Thank you for continuing to share.
Angela,
I am SO glad you will not stop! I love your take on food, the flavors you create and the passion you have for health. You have a gift and you share it well…I know it’s a labor of love. I am sorry (and a little shocked) that you are dealing with some negativity. Someone told me it’s the mark of true success when you get some haters! Maybe true, but not easy to deal with. Hang in there- you are an inspiration to so many of us and you have our support.
Sincerely,
Kathy
Dear Angela, I didn’t read all of the comments from your previous post. I honestly believe (and hope) that you continue to call yourself vegan, and your recipes vegan, your cookbooks vegan. Why anyone believes they have the right to judge you for making a choice about your child that they would not make is beyond me. Honestly, if I were vegan at the time my child was born, I would have wanted to bring him up vegan (with the exception of mother’s milk). I am envious of children who had never had meat cross their lips. But I have a friend who has been vegan since she was 5 years old – her choice because she did not like animal products, and then later because of her compassion for animals. And she did not force her children to be vegan. They turned out to be fine. They are making their own choices now. So these judgmental people commenting on your blog would say my friend who has not eaten animal products or used animal products for 50 years is not vegan because of her choices or her reasons for becoming vegan? Funny because I would bet she’s more truly “vegan” than any of those judgmental people.
I’ve found in the past that it’s normally meat eaters that get judgmental. They ask me stuff like, would I kill a roach if I found one in my house? Isn’t having a pet like a dog or cat using animals for my own pleasure? Do I go to football games, supporting the use of cowhide (the football)? (No they aren’t made of pigskin). Do you play a violin although the wood glue is made from animal derived products? I figure that meat eaters pick at my choices because they want to find flaws to make themselves feel better about their choices. Makes me wonder then why these so-called true “vegans” want to find flaws in your choices or in anyone who chooses to say they have a vegan diet. Anyway, please keep up your great work. We should all be so lucky as to be able to follow our passion and share so much joy and love with the world. If anyone embodies the spirit of true veganism it’s you.
You. are. fantastic.
Don’t let anyone let you question that for one moment. You are a delight and have an amazing talent for cooking up some delicious recipes for everyone to enjoy. In the past 2 years I had to cut out dairy, eggs, gluten, soy and almonds for my health and you have been a shining light in a dim sea of terrible recipes! I went from being constantly hungry between meals to discovering really amazing and filling snacks and smoothies (and so much more!) from your site. And seriously, people don’t get that slapping together a recipe doesn’t make it gluten-free and delicious!
All that being said, I hope you can see from all the posts here that you have done so much good encouraging others to improve their health, help to eat less meat/animal products and to find a balance, so that we can all enjoy the precious moments in life.
You’ve really made a huge positive impression in my life and I really want to thank you for that. Don’t let others get you down.