Since I announced my pregnancy last year, I’ve been asked quite often whether we would raise our baby vegan. If I saw the question on my blog or social media, I would respond by saying that we decided not to label her diet or lifestyle and I explained why if I had the time. Since I was asked this question so frequently I recently decided to write a blog post on the topic to be transparent about our decision (see: Will you raise your daughter a vegan?). I’ve always been an open book on the blog and figured I could share our thoughts and also ask you to share your own experiences. I enjoy hearing other perspectives because I’ve never been someone who thinks that there is one correct way to do anything. What works for one family might not work for others.
As I expected, there was a wide range of opinions on the topic. Many of you left thought-provoking and respectful comments (whether you agreed or not), and I greatly enjoyed reading them. They led to some wonderful discussions with friends and family this week. However, there were some hateful and threatening comments attacking me, my family, and our decision. According to some, I’m no longer welcome to call myself vegan. This wasn’t entirely surprising; over the past 6 years I’ve often been accused of not being “vegan enough”, being “too mainstream”, or not “doing enough for the vegan movement”, yet here I was receiving hundreds of comments and emails each month from readers telling me my recipes changed their lives, that they were happy to be helping animals, reducing their carbon footprint, and getting healthy even if they weren’t “perfect”. Apparently, my welcoming and non-judgmental approach was indeed the catalyst for major change.
I realize that the scrutiny I’ve faced over the years is from a small percentage of vegans. Tearing each other down is never conducive to furthering the movement though. The majority of vegans I know are incredibly kind and compassionate both to animals and humans alike. However, the personal attacks have made me reflect greatly about whether this label continues to be right for me. Do I want to live my life striving for an elusive perfection that I know I’m too flawed to ever achieve? Or can I do it my way? While some of you will say “don’t let it bother you” and “don’t let them win” I’ll be honest in telling you that experiencing hate on a public forum from your own community wears you down over time. It’s a distraction from my overall purpose and you know what, it sure as hell takes the fun out of the journey.
In the end, I will keep on doing my thing, but without a personal label on my diet or lifestyle. Going forward you can expect to see the same types of crowd-pleasing plant-based recipes on this blog and in my next cookbook; this is how I love to eat and what makes me happy. My goal has always been to encourage others to reduce their animal consumption and embrace more plants in their diet. This is my passion in life not only because of how it has greatly improved my own and those close to me, but for countless other reasons. I still believe that the greatest change happens when we elevate one another, celebrate progress, and of course, share delicious food that challenges the norms of the standard diet. So that’s exactly what I intend to keep doing. There are many ways in which compassionate individuals can spread their message and this is what speaks to my heart. I have no doubt there is something out there for everyone.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the years, and also, for reminding me why it’s important to remain authentic even in spite of criticism.
Angela
Please note comments are now closed – May 20/15
I’ve been reading your blog for several years now. I am not vegan or even vegetarian nor do I strive to become one. I simply love good healthy food. I keep reading your blog because your recipes are spot on and delicious! Whatever you label yourself doesn’t matter to me. You’re talented, passionate, and have good taste ;) !!
Are you kidding me.? I am floored that you would ever receive anything but love. Please know that what you intend for the blog to be … It is! You elevate eating in an approachable, healthful way that’s good for the whole family. I love trying your recipes, testing new ingredients, and incorporating new nutrition into my family meals and snacks. I also have loved going back and reading from the beginning and being part of your journey. The small changes that you made and the way that you grew in your healthful lifestyle inspired me to do the same. Your honesty and “imperfection” was what appealed to me. My pantry, fridge and cupboards have slowly transformed because of you. Your blog makes healthful living feel manageable. When referring friends to your site, I mention healthy whole recipes and a lot of great plant based meals and snacks. I don’t often just label it a vegan food blog. You are so much more than that. I would say if you are going to be any label … It would be “awesome.” Thanks for what you do!
You poor darling. It’s so awful that we’ve chosen to hijack social media for the purposes of tormenting one another. Angela, hold your head high, and keep doing what you do. You are a wonderful writer, blogger and cook. No doubt you are a committed and devoted mother. You know that all the hateful criticism directed to you says everything about the writer/s, and NOTHING about you. This is precisely why I’ve decided not to start a blog of my own, despite the urgings of my friends and colleagues. I have two sons with autism and many people think that my journey may help to guide and encourage and perhaps even amuse others on that same journey, but I just don’t think I’m tough enough to wear all the negativity and vitriol that can come with it. My life is sad and exhausting enough as it is. Believe in yourself and know that you are appreciated and respected. All the best, and I look forward to your next post, as always.
Layne from Brisbane, Australia.
Good for you Angela! As you haven’t come out swinging on a crusade to convert the masses, I can understand how criticism would both surprise you and wear you down. Tell the nosy parkers to mind their own business. As long as you keep focussing on yourself and your family (and keep producing recipes) we’ll still love you! After all: half a million followers can’t be wrong.
Angela,
My mother was a very wise woman, I remember her saying it is not our place to judge. When I become a perfect human, I will let you know. Until then I will like you and many others who have left comments, just keep doing my best. You have a wonderful Blog and a beautiful family. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
All over the internet people criticize others, especially the ones that are public figures. It always sounds like jealousy to me. Those people are fast on the insults too and yet have no arguments most of the time and most importantly, are no better themselves and they certainly don’t know you personally. I don’t even understand why these people even bother : just move on if you don’t like someone or something. It’s aggravating. People have so much free time. However, on that topic, I myself was a vegetarian for a few years, it wasn’t really an ethical choice more that a food preference choice. I was never a meat eater. Right now, I am eating meat again now but not often. Been a vegetarian for all those years was valuable to me, I am eating better now, more balanced meals, more diverse, more colorful, I also make better combinaisons when I am not eating meat in order to get complete proteines. I also have a baby who is almost 10 months old and I really would want him to love eating wholesome food, no matter what type of diet he later may decide on. I think that I should let my child decide what he wants to be in life -while educating him with core values of course-, and that is exactly what I think I should do in the kitchen as well. Please go on and continue to glow (because you are)! :)
Keep up your amazing work!! People who stress over labels are not helping the cause at all. I know it’s hard to be attacked like that. It’s so unfortunate. But your following says enough- you have shared so much and many people are grateful, myself included.
I just want to say how much I love your blogs, recipes and your refreshing take on life. I truly support you and please dont take any negative comments to heart!
I strongly disagree with your decision not to raise your daughter vegan. And I will admit that your post was, in a way, disappointing and perhaps even frustrating. But I thoroughly appreciate your honesty as well as all the work you’ve done for the vegan movement by running Oh She Glows. And disagreement with your decision does not warrant any hateful comments or personal attacks, and I’m sorry that you received such negative and unconstructive feedback!
Dear Angela,
Your response to the angry vegan extremists was very gracious. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been for you to read such hurtful messages.
For what it is worth, I really enjoy your blog, your recipes, and your outlook. I wish you and your family nothing but the best.
Yours in good health,
Sarah
Thank you for being honest, Angela!
I have been a loyal follower of yours for years and can completely 100% relate. I’ve dipped in and out of vegetarianism and veganism for almost 15 years and I’ll be honest- I’ve never felt so harshly judged except when I was closely tied to the vegan movement. It seems so counterintuitive !
I support and appreciate everything you do!
Those people you have mentioned seem quite ridiculous. No one should tear you down, especially considering they dont know you except through your blog. Your recipes make my life so much more delicious! Ive been a vegetarian most of my life but with your recipes Im practically vegan! So obviously those vegans claiming you arent helping the cause are wrong. Youve also helped me convert many die-hard meat eaters into occasional meat eaters!!! Dont let those people affect you, its not even worth your time! You and your recipes are incredible, keep up the delicious work!!! Raising your child with an open mind sounds like the best decision to me by far. Thats definitely what i plan to do too!
First of all, I just wanted to add my voice to the hundreds that are expressing their love for you and what you do on this site. Your recipes showed me that eating vegan could be possible for me. You also taught me how to cook, in kind of a sad time in my life, and I think that cooking and eating healthier contributed a lot to me feeling better in my own body. I shared your recipes with my mom, and sometimes we Skype on Sundays and cook together. I also shared your recipes with my aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. I hope that if you want to continue to label your blog as “vegan” that you do. If your recipes are vegan and you write about vegan food, then using the term “vegan” is useful so that people can find you. Labels are just tools for conveying information.
Negativity on the internet has gotten out of hand. People can say they things they would be mortified to have said in person, without any consequences.
The comments you received reminded me of a Zen story (at least I think it is). In Zen there are precepts that people promise to abide by and one of them is not to lie. One day a Zen student was walking in the woods and a really big rabbit crossed her path. It ran off quickly, but not long after, a hunter followed. The hunter asked the Zen student, “Did you see a rabbit? Do you know which way it went?” What should the student have done?
If the student tells the truth, the rabbit will surely be killed. If the student lies, she breaks one of her vows! And what of the hunter? Maybe he needs to feed his starving family, or maybe he just likes wearing rabbit coats. The point is that rigidity is not going to help here, the student must assess the situation as it is in order to do the right thing. If we stick to our convictions without a second thought, we are likely to miss opportunities to help in the situations we actually find ourselves in. And, each situation is different and personal.
I hope that you don’t feel the need to play by anyone else’s rules, and even if others criticize you, you stay to true to yourself. I also hope you continue to share your personal experiences, if you find that sharing is rewarding. Much love.
Angela,
I was very saddened to read your post tonight. Saddened that there are such unhappy people that for some reason need to share their unhappiness at the expense of others. Seriously, I cannot understand this. YOU are fabulous and have helped so many people come closer to a kinder, healthier world. Please continue your journey/work helping us find ourselves and our way while you find yours. We support you and are ever grateful to meet you and share your journey. Wishing you all the best. May you be surrounded by white light and the negativity fade into the shadows where it resides. Many blessings to you and your family. Your work is very important to so many.
To those individuals leaving judgmental comments – grow up. Angela deserves our gratitude for helping countless people shift toward a plant based diet. Be grateful that she’s countering some of the stigma of veganism that your hateful approach created in the first place. Negativity does nothing to inspire people to change for the long haul. If you disagree, then simply take whatever resonates and discard the rest (hat tip to Rich Roll.)
Dear Angela,
Thank you for your book, your honesty and for making a difference. People are quick to judge or think they have a right to comment on another persons actions when in reality they need to spend time working out their own lives. Keep doing what makes your world work. Enjoy the process. Allow space for change and adaptation as needed. Most importantly keep loving your family and yourself. Your efforts are much appreciated by this 50 something, non-vegan-animal loving-imperfect- work- in- progress- woman. Blessings!
Thank you for all you’ve shared, about weight-loss, healthy eating, and your baby journey. Your blog is the only one I read on a regular basis and I enjoy it so much. I hope you always continue.
Do what you do sister!
I received your book for Christmas this last year and I have started to eat a more organic and plant based diet. All your recipes are delicious! Thank you for being real no matter what response you get. You are an incredibly strong person and I think that anyone should have the freedom to express their way of living healthy no matter what. I think it is easy to get obsessed with “doing the right thing” and those people cannot handle others who “slip up” once and a while. Everyone is human and there is no perfect eating habits that everyone will ever agree with!
Thanks for being real, you are an inspiration to keep being real even when people do not accept it.
xoxo Lauren
Just wanted you to know that I think you and your recipes are wonderful. I’m 90% vegan, while my two kids (5 and 3) and husband eat both meat and dairy. I did consider a vegan diet for the kids, but like yourself made a similar decision around it being their right to choose. Like others have mentioned my family do eat a lot of yummy plant-based meals (we love the big vegan bowl, the tacos and all the veggie burgers, not to mention some of your delicious desserts). I always check to see what you’ve posted and I’ve never been disappointed by a single recipe. I make your almond milk every 3 days, and am so glad not to be consuming much soy any more. You’ve certainly helped both myself and my family to follow a much healthier diet. Thank you so much for all your hard work and I would say massive contribution to healthy eating that I have no doubt has benefited so many people across the world.
You write so eloquently. There r certainly challenges when on such a public forum like this is. You share your lives with people in hopes to inspire them, help them, connect with them. You change peoples lives. You do what’s best for you and your family. As much as I can I try to only let in the positive energy and focus on those great people on my life. It’s more difficult for someone like u to simply avoid reading hurtful comments. Remember that those people are likely not in a good place and take out their hurt on others. They r not trying to hurt u, only trying in a way to reach out and make themselves feel better. I try to remind myself of that when people relate to me in ways I don’t appreciate.