Since I announced my pregnancy last year, I’ve been asked quite often whether we would raise our baby vegan. If I saw the question on my blog or social media, I would respond by saying that we decided not to label her diet or lifestyle and I explained why if I had the time. Since I was asked this question so frequently I recently decided to write a blog post on the topic to be transparent about our decision (see: Will you raise your daughter a vegan?). I’ve always been an open book on the blog and figured I could share our thoughts and also ask you to share your own experiences. I enjoy hearing other perspectives because I’ve never been someone who thinks that there is one correct way to do anything. What works for one family might not work for others.
As I expected, there was a wide range of opinions on the topic. Many of you left thought-provoking and respectful comments (whether you agreed or not), and I greatly enjoyed reading them. They led to some wonderful discussions with friends and family this week. However, there were some hateful and threatening comments attacking me, my family, and our decision. According to some, I’m no longer welcome to call myself vegan. This wasn’t entirely surprising; over the past 6 years I’ve often been accused of not being “vegan enough”, being “too mainstream”, or not “doing enough for the vegan movement”, yet here I was receiving hundreds of comments and emails each month from readers telling me my recipes changed their lives, that they were happy to be helping animals, reducing their carbon footprint, and getting healthy even if they weren’t “perfect”. Apparently, my welcoming and non-judgmental approach was indeed the catalyst for major change.
I realize that the scrutiny I’ve faced over the years is from a small percentage of vegans. Tearing each other down is never conducive to furthering the movement though. The majority of vegans I know are incredibly kind and compassionate both to animals and humans alike. However, the personal attacks have made me reflect greatly about whether this label continues to be right for me. Do I want to live my life striving for an elusive perfection that I know I’m too flawed to ever achieve? Or can I do it my way? While some of you will say “don’t let it bother you” and “don’t let them win” I’ll be honest in telling you that experiencing hate on a public forum from your own community wears you down over time. It’s a distraction from my overall purpose and you know what, it sure as hell takes the fun out of the journey.
In the end, I will keep on doing my thing, but without a personal label on my diet or lifestyle. Going forward you can expect to see the same types of crowd-pleasing plant-based recipes on this blog and in my next cookbook; this is how I love to eat and what makes me happy. My goal has always been to encourage others to reduce their animal consumption and embrace more plants in their diet. This is my passion in life not only because of how it has greatly improved my own and those close to me, but for countless other reasons. I still believe that the greatest change happens when we elevate one another, celebrate progress, and of course, share delicious food that challenges the norms of the standard diet. So that’s exactly what I intend to keep doing. There are many ways in which compassionate individuals can spread their message and this is what speaks to my heart. I have no doubt there is something out there for everyone.
Thank you to everyone who has supported me over the years, and also, for reminding me why it’s important to remain authentic even in spite of criticism.
Angela
Please note comments are now closed – May 20/15
Angela,
I remember the day you posted the “will you raise your daughter vegan”. It blows my mind how a post can go from open and inviting to bitter and judgmental via the comments. The negative would totally weigh me down as I’m pretty sensitive. I understand thier passion but my goodness! If people are so upset about what you posted they could always stop viewing your site, right ?
Seems like you took the negative in stride which is awesome. Your a champ.
Haters gone hate lol. FYI I am a ride or die follower no matter how to label or don’t label for that matter! Cheers to you and your families happiness and health!
Angela, I am so sorry that you have had to deal with any kind of hateful words, when you are such a shining beacon. My husband and I have been eating a whole-plant diet for the past year, and thankfully yours was one of the first (and best!) blogs I happened upon. We love your recipes, pore over your book, and enjoy increasing good health due to your influence. I have even started my own dedicated FaceBook page to share my own recipes, and have many followers of my own now. You have helped change our lives, and so many others for the better. We use the term “vegan” as kind of a short-cut to describe out diet, but we do not ascribe to the negative, self-righteous politics of the movement, as we agree that it does nothing to further the cause but only harm its good work. I support you 100%, and so admire your grace under pressure. Blessings to you and your family.
Angela,
Here is Barack Obama’s interview for Humans of New York; it has been resonating with me for several days now and seems totally en pointe for your post. Keep the faith.
http://www.humansofnewyork.com/post/110263143446/when-is-the-time-you-felt-most-broken-i-first
“When is the time you felt most broken?”
“I first ran for Congress in 1999, and I got beat. I just got whooped. I had been in the state legislature for a long time, I was in the minority party, I wasn’t getting a lot done, and I was away from my family and putting a lot of strain on Michelle. Then for me to run and lose that bad, I was thinking maybe this isn’t what I was cut out to do. I was forty years old, and I’d invested a lot of time and effort into something that didn’t seem to be working. But the thing that got me through that moment, and any other time that I’ve felt stuck, is to remind myself that it’s about the work. Because if you’re worrying about yourself—if you’re thinking: ‘Am I succeeding? Am I in the right position? Am I being appreciated?’ — then you’re going to end up feeling frustrated and stuck. But if you can keep it about the work, you’ll always have a path. There’s always something to be done.”
This post was so gracious and honest. You are truly a shining star. A family member of mine is a popular blogger who eventually “hired” one of her best friends to delete hateful comments. No matter what you know in your heart of hearts (that your approach is beneficial to so many), it is difficult, and I might even say close to impossible, not to be affected by hateful words. Just piping up to say that I appreciate you, and that it is clear you are being the best “you” that you can be, and that’s truly beautiful, and a joy to read about. I love your blog, it inspires me. And if you have a wonderful friend who can screen some of the weirdest, worst comments, I encourage you to do it. :)
Angela,
I am so flabbergasted that you would receive any negative comments at all! Your recipes have transformed my and my family’s eating habits tremendously. We are so much healthier now and look forward to trying new recipes from both your cookbook and your blog. I have lost nearly 100 lbs over the past 2 years and when people around me talk about wanting to change their eating habits or ask what I eat, I always tell them that you have the most wonderful recipes and that I absolutely LOVE what I am eating now.
I have 3 boys and a husband who is definitely NOT vegan, but because of you and your delicious recipes, all of them eat much better than before and they have all loved everything I have made. When I make a batch of glo bars, they are gone within 1 day! I didn’t even like oatmeal until I tried your carrot cake oatmeal recipe, and now I love it (as well as the pear & apple one) and your chocolate vegan smoothie has been the perfect breakfast on the go on many occasions. All the kids now eat kale chips and we all enjoyed the nacho dip this weekend.
Please don’t ever stop offering these fantastic, delicious, healthful recipes!! I admit I tried someone else’s blueberry oatmeal recipe a few months ago and it was disgusting! I think it is ridiculous for people to criticize you for anything! Your recipes and way of life are inspiring to me & my family, vegan or not. I am proud of the fact that I have incorporated more vegan foods (and milk – we switched to almond milk a year ago) – into my diet and into my family’s diet. They would probably never go 100% but regardless, they are so much healthier because of the foods they DO eat now, and that’s all because of you and your delicious recipes and the way you write that makes me want to try everything! The recipes are easy to follow and totally achievable and now my kids love to browse the cookbook as well and pick things out to make.
SO, this may be the longest comment ever, but I just wanted to let you know that despite whatever fools are out there criticizing you, you should know that every single day there are so many people out there that have nothing but love and appreciation for everything you do, and you have made (and continue to make!) a really positive impact on so many people’s lives and health, and that has a ripple effect to have a positive impact on our surroundings/environment/animals/everything else as well. Please don’t let any negativity from people who obviously don’t get the bigger picture bring you down!
I really enjoy your blog Angela! I think your photography and recipes are excellent, but I think it’s your writing that keeps me coming back to your blog. I feel like I can relate a lot to your stories! I hope the hateful comments you received does not prevent you from being open in the future. I completely understand no longer wanting to label your diet. I just wanted to send love and support your way!
I’ve been reading your blog for about 6 months now and bought your cookbook as a Christmas present to myself, and I am continually inspired by your recipes and beautiful photos! Although I try to make my diet as plant-based as possible, I’m not vegan, nor do I plan to be, and one of the reasons I love your blog is because you highlight the deliciousness of a plant-based diet without being preachy about it. You don’t criticize the non-vegan lifestyle, like some do, and I find this outlook to be refreshing. In fact, I think your approach makes a plant-based diet even more appealing. Thank you so much for all the work you put into this blog!
I am so sorry to hear that you have received such hateful comments – especially after opening up, being honest and transparent, and giving us a glimpse into your personal life. I absolutely support you, your messages, and the good you are doing in the world. Being a world-changer can hurt sometimes – but thank you for being one. Hugs from this stranger xo.
Dear Angela please don’t change. I am vegan and have so much respect and praise for you.you have helped me so many times with your recipes . Please stay true to yourself you have been an inspiration to me and my daughter and many others.
I read in a cookbook somewhere that the author was an “aspiring vegan” and that title certainly works for me. I know that one can get 500 positive comments and only remember the 1 negative one. I have experienced this myself and just want to reinforce what so many others have said. You are an amazing cook and I use your site as my go-to area for ideas (as I do your cookbook). But what I find most amazing is that you have the time to do this along with raising such a beautiful child. Keep up the good work…Please!
Angela, you have my 100% support, for what it’s worth. I haven’t read any of the comments on this post, but I’m sure I am echoing what others have said – it doesn’t matter what .5% of extremists say, it is absolutely your right and your choice to feed yourself and your child as you see fit, and nobody’s business what you label it. I am so sorry that you have been the subject of personal attacks, and that’s awful. I wish that extreme vegans (or extreme anyone, for that matter) would realize that their outrage/anger/hatefulness does nothing except give the remaining bunch a bad reputation. Sending lots of love and light to you and your family.
I agree. Having a baby had changed me immeasurably (I have a 6 month old),including how I look at food. I want my baby to be free to experience the world as he wants, without strict food rules or constraints. We are now focusing on being healthy and happy, in whatever form that takes.
What a beautifully written post & classy response to those who choose to hate on you. And you’re absolutely right – you have done MUCH to influence people’s eating habits, buying habits and overall health. Keep on doing what you do!
I am an avid fan of your blog, but I have never posted a comment before. Thank you for your candor about your experience. I respect your decision not to use a specific label, but to continue to do what feels healthy and makes you happy. Your blog matters and makes a difference in my life and countless others. THANK you for being so open and honest. And thank you for your beautiful work with food :)
Hi Angela!
You’re posts have inspired me in more ways than you can imagine. I absolutely LOVE that you are yourself in all of your posts and don’t hold back. I came across your blog because of food allergies to dairy and egg in our household. I feel so terrible that such negatively based comments were posted, but you handled it with such grace I love you even more! :)
and by you’re I meant your haha
So sorry to hear that you’ve been experiencing hate from certain commenters. For whatever it’s worth, you’ve been one of my favorite bloggers since I discovered your blog in 2012. I am also an “imperfect” vegan, and I really appreciate your approach to a plant-based lifestyle. Your recipes are spectacular and I hope that you’ll continue to publish the recipes that you love. The Internet can be a nasty place, but I hope that voices of support from your fans will shine through during this time and in the future. You are a gift to the blogging world, no matter how you label yourself!
Angela,
I’m so sad that responses to your last blog have made you feel this way. You are truly extraordinary. Every time I make a new awesome recipe, my husband looks up and asks, “Oh She Glows?” Yep, Oh She Glows. I made your banana soft serve the other day and he kept looking at his bowl, shaking his head and saying “bananas and peanut butter, that’s it?” Yep, that’s it. You’re full of love and vitality. I’m glad you won’t stop being you. I know we can’t change the responses or how you feel about them, but there are many out there that appreciate you more than you know.
Chanda
I do not consume animal products as part of my diet, but I do wear leather shoes.
Therefore I prefer to say I eat a plant-based diet instead of saying I’m vegan. Omnivores label me vegan and when they find out my diet. Some vegans would agree that I am not vegan because I purchase animal products.
I boycott the circus, rodeos and sea world, but I don’t 100% agree with PETA.
Going 100% in one direction is really a conscious commitment that almost nobody can achieve.
Also, some people only get on the internet to complain and bully.
I love your blog and a lot of your recipes are in my normal rotation of meals.
I have never posted a response to a blog before, but I must share.. your recipes and insights are a treasure for me and my family. I’m especially grateful your post about how you’ll feed your daughter. It really helped me think about my approach to feeding my kids, and then relax. Mealtimes are so much more enjoyable now. THANK YOU!!!! Please don’t let the negative comments get you down. Your work is important, cherished, and delicious.
Expertly said. I applaud you for your independence and bravery. I love your blog, your recipes and thank you for all you do.