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Home » Recipes » Chocolate

Crazy Good Coconut Oil "Chocolate" Bark

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Do you have any kitchen quirks? What about your partner or roommates?

Maybe you are wondering what I mean by a kitchen quirk. Basically it’s anything that drives your significant other batshit crazy.

I’ll offer some examples:

– Always sticking produce stickers on the counter despite your husband’s pleas not to (my long-time readers will get this, if you don’t, see Part 1 and Part 2)

– Loading the dishwasher in a very specific way (spoiler alert)

– Only wanting the cutlery drawer to be perfectly stacked with everything facing the same direction

– Organizing the fridge or pantry in a certain way and insisting that it’s kept in this precise order

– Debating with your partner/roommate about whether certain foods should be refrigerated or not

– Turning cans so that the label always faces the same way, are arranged by alphabet/colour/etc

I like to think of myself as a recipe creating tornado and I frequently drive Eric nuts because he is so much more organized than I am. When you are with someone for almost 15 years you learn every one of their little (and big) quirks. Day by day….by day.

Want to know what Eric’s biggest kitchen quirk is?

Aside from me, it’s the dishwasher.

The guy has a thing for dishwasher organization. It’s his pride and joy. And it’s actually impressive, the dedication that he puts into carefully loading and stacking the dishwasher every day. He has refined his technique over the years too, always improving. Impressive. At first glance, you might think that he’s just a normal guy unloading or loading the dishwasher, but you’d be wrong, very wrong. He is not normal. Eric has been trying to enlighten me with his genius dishwasher short-cuts ever since we got together. I stubbornly refused for years until I recently discovered how amusing it is to see him so proud when I use his “tricks”. He beams with pride.

My sister was over yesterday and after dinner we got talking about how her husband/my brother-in-law insists that the dishwasher is loaded in a certain way. Hmm sounds familiar. So began a hilarious conversation with us and the guys talking about how a dishwasher should be loaded. She said, “Steve will actually UNLOAD the dishes that I have loaded and then reload the machine!” Well, that rings a bell. I hear Eric tinkering away with unloading and reloading my dishes every night. He also has a system of loading my measuring spoons (because I typically use about 20+ on any given day of recipe testing). We have a dishwasher with a narrow top tray for cutlery and he has created this whole system of how to load the measuring spoons and other utensils so that they don’t collect/pool any water…right down to which direction they face for optimum drying. Like I said, not normal…but impressive.

I should also mention that we had a 10+ year ongoing debate about whether ketchup should be refrigerated or not. I said that, yes, ketchup should be refrigerated and he always said it shouldn’t (just a personal preference on his part). One day I pointed out the label which reads “Keep refrigerated” and it’s been in the fridge ever since! Case closed. Mystery solved. He finally gave in (even if it’s perfectly fine at room temperature).

Of course, this story wouldn’t be complete without Eric weighing in on my biggest kitchen quirk.

Without even blinking an eye he said, “chaos.”

Nailed it. Martha would so not approve of my kitchen ways.

Ok, it’s your turn to spill the beans. What are your kitchen quirks? What about your partner or roommates’ quirks?

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Crazy Good Coconut Oil "Chocolate" Bark

Vegan, gluten-free, grain-free, no bake/raw, refined sugar-free, soy-free
★★★★★
4.5 from 39 reviews
Yield
20 pieces
Prep time
15 minutes
Cook time
0 minutes
Chill time
15 minutes
Total time
15 minutes

This homemade chocolate is made with just a few essential ingredients - virgin coconut oil, cocoa or cacao powder, and pure maple syrup. (Feel free to use whichever liquid sweetener you prefer). The virgin coconut oil replaces the cocoa butter found in traditional chocolate so while it needs to be kept in the freezer, it’s a great way to sneak some coconut oil into your day. You can also use any toppings you'd like - dried fruit, nuts, + seeds all work lovely. It melts much faster than regular chocolate, so be sure to keep it chilled until ready to enjoy. I prefer it straight from the freezer.

Ingredients

  • 1/4 cup raw hazelnuts
  • 1/4 cup raw almonds
  • 1/3 cup large flake dried coconut
  • 1/2 cup virgin coconut oil
  • 1/2 cup cocoa or cacao powder, sifted if necessary
  • 1/4 cup pure maple syrup
  • 1 tablespoon smooth almond butter, optional
  • pinch fine sea salt

Directions

  1. Preheat oven to 300F. Line a 9" square pan or a small baking sheet with two pieces of parchment paper, one going each way. Set aside.
  2. Add hazelnuts and almonds on a baking sheet and roast in the oven for 10 minutes. Remove baking sheet and add the coconut flakes and spread out. Continue roasting the nuts and coconut flakes for another 3-4 minutes, or until the coconut is lightly golden. Watch closely to avoid burning - coconut burns fast!
  3. Place hazelnuts on several sheets of damp paper towel. Wrap the hazelnuts and rub them vigorously with the paper towel until the skins fall off. It’s ok if some skins don’t come off. Discard the skins and roughly chop the hazelnuts and almonds.
  4. In a medium saucepan, melt the coconut oil over low heat. Remove from heat and whisk in the cocoa (or cacao) powder, maple syrup, and almond butter (if using) until smooth. Add a pinch of sea salt to taste. Stir in half of the almonds and hazelnuts.
  5. With a spatula, spoon the chocolate mixture onto the prepared parchment-lined pan or sheet and smooth out until it's about 1/4-1/2 inch thick. Sprinkle on the remaining nuts and all of the coconut flakes. Place into freezer on a flat surface for about 15 minutes, until frozen solid.
  6. Once frozen, break apart into bark. Store in the freezer until ready to eat. I don't recommend keeping it out on the counter long because it melts fast.

Tip:

Tip: To make this nut-free, simply omit the almond butter, hazelnuts, and almonds. It will still turn out just fine! You can try adding toasted sunflower seeds on top for a little crunch.

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Tag @ohsheglows on Instagram and hashtag #ohsheglows so that we can all take a look!

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Enjoy!

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Filed Under: Chocolate, Christmas, Easter, Gluten Free, No Bake/Raw, Nut Free Option, Quick & Easy, Recipes, Snacks, Soy Free, Valentine's Day

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Hannah
11 years ago

Oh man, the comment about ‘chaos’ made me laugh out loud. I get the exact same comments from my boyfriend all the time, he calls it the foodie explosion. Every inch of counter space, and floor space is ruined when I cook. He usually leaves the area when I cook and comes back just in time to eat whatever i’ve made ;) I am also fairly neurotic about my pantry, and often reorganize it every month. Which drives him nuts because he can never find anything. Haha I must be hard to live with! Thanks for the recipe, can’t wait to try!!

Reply
Jennifer @ Delicious Everyday
11 years ago
Recipe Rating :
     

That does indeed look crazy good!

Reply
Alison
11 years ago

Oh I am chaos when I cook too. I wish I was more organized and cleaned as I go, but I just can’t. My husband (and my children) have a couple of quirks that drive me crazy. Leaving cabinet doors open is the worst. I just don’t understand it. I walk around closing them in the kitchen and bedroom all the time. Also, leaving used paper towels everywhere. Hello trash! The quirk my husband hates is when I put an empty egg shell back in the carton. I have no idea why I do that. I have tried to get better.

Reply
Erin @ Erin's Inside Job
11 years ago

My husband also has a thing w the dishwasher. It used to be a point of contention until I reminded him that Im the one who does the dishes and if he would like to take over, then by all means please do. It was little things like which way the silverware pointed in the dishwasher (always down for me). Too funny!

Reply
Tanah
11 years ago

This made me laugh! I also have a very specific way of loading the dishwasher and it HAS to be that way! The thing that bothers him is that I don’t follow his fridge organization and always put Tupperware on the “Drink” shelf.

Reply
Savanna Mehrad
11 years ago

This looks so yummy! It seems like the whole blogosphere has boarded the chocolate bark train lately – I’m going to have to grab a seat or be left behind on this delcious looking journey. Great work!

Reply
Gail
11 years ago

Thinking I’ll try it with crused up peppermint candies since I can’t eat nuts…can’t wait to try this!
As for our kitchen, the thing that others have mentioned, about the spices being alphabetized, I have mine in order but when my husband uses them he’ll put the Ground Black Pepper back in our spice cabinet under “G”. I file it under “P”. So I can never find anything. This has caused quite a few arguments, and makes me crazy!! :)

Reply
Jaime
11 years ago

My husband calls me “Tammy Tornado” when I get going in the kitchen. (My name isn’t Tammy).
One of my quirks is the stacking of dirty dishes to be hand washed. I like them to be all positioned just so. My “type A” personality won’t allow them to be scattered about the counter. It drives me crazy…My husband couldn’t care less. For him, me throwing dirty dishes cloths down the basement stairs and having a full recycling are his quirks. He empties it pretty much every day and always complains when it magically fills up so quickly.

Reply
Lison
11 years ago

My boyfriend is the same with the dishwasher!! That’s so funny. He will actually unload it to load it ”better” as he says I know nothing about loading the dishwasher…and shakes his head.

Reply
Anne
11 years ago

It drives me nuts when my family piles stuff all over my kitchen island. No one puts stuff away after they use it and my husband uses it to dump whatever is in his hands when he comes in from the garage. If there’s little real estate left he will just push what’s there to the center until I literally can’t see the counter. And I have a huge island. Empty pizza boxes from my boys, spices not put away. Opened mail, flyers, magazines. Blenders/food processors that need to be put away. Book bags, homework, dirty gym uniforms. And guests! They are the worst offenders. I’m cooking dinner, they come in with their contributions, purses, hats, gloves and plop it goes in the middle of my island (not to seem ungrateful). I’ve started locking my garage door so they have to come to the front door and I can head them off at the pass before their stuff winds up on my island. Thanks for providing me with an opportunity to vent!

Reply
Beth Rapp
11 years ago
Recipe Rating :
     

Chocolate and coconut oil is a match made in heaven.

You know all the usual controversy over coconut oil with its saturated fat content… Have you ever written a post on that? About your pro-coconut oil stance?

Reply
Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat
11 years ago

I have lots of kitchen quirks.. shall we discuss over some chocolate bark!? ;) The dishwasher story reminds me of my grandpa who used to ALWAYS have to reload the dishwasher himself, no matter how I put dishes in. I’m sure his reasons were nowhere near as practical as Eric’s though – I think he just enjoyed having it as something to do! As for my quirks, I always use the same knife for cutting pretty much everything, and I have a bad habit of re-using my dishes from the dishwasher if I didn’t get them that dirty during their last meal. I know, it’s gross!

Reply
Emily | Gather & Dine
11 years ago

I bought something similar to this a while ago and tried to replicate it unsuccessfully. It’s the coconut oil that I was leaving out!! I can’t wait to try this. Making a mental note to gift this for Christmas this year!! Thank you!

Reply
Isabel
11 years ago

Hi Angela,

Don’t know whether or not you got the comment I left the last time but I love your blog! I’m from Ireland and am surprised that most of your followers appear to be Americans – I must start telling more people about ohsheglows! Just wondering if you had ever thought of posting a paleo raisin cookie? I’m also looking for a caramel shortbread recipe without nuts or refined sugar. I really adore your recipes.

Isabel.

Reply
Jamie
11 years ago

I am a VERY enthusiastic cook/baker, so my quirk is using every available dish, pot, pan, and utensil (not to mention counter surface) – and then griping about having to clean them! :) My friends always talk about “cleaning as I go” but I seem to have a mental block about doing that…

Reply
Ceara @ Ceara's Kitchen
11 years ago

Haha, Angela! You seriously CRACK me up! We all have our funny kitchen quirks but the produce sticker one is one to remember!! I feel like I have a lot of kitchen quirks my biggest one is probably CHAOS too. LOL the kitchen always looks a tornado by the time I’m done a big meal!

And this Coconut Oil Chocolate Bark looks all kinds of amazing! YUM!

Reply
Rebecca
11 years ago

I am literally cracking up reading this! My husband’s kitchen quirk (also a computer programmer… hmm) is keeping the dirty dishes in the sink “organized.” Super weird. If he goes to do the dishes after I’ve cooked and they are too “disorganized” (read: they usually are) he will often refuse to do them until they are organized! It seriously drives him insane when the plates/ cups are not stacked properly in the sink. Mine is when someone does the dishes but doesn’t do ALL of them. Like, only the big pots and pans and then leaves the rest dirty on the counter in the way of my kitchen electrics. OMG makes me rage lol.

Reply
Meagan K.
11 years ago

I absolutely have to have a clean and organized kitchen! Baking is my passion and by the time whatever I am making is in the oven, you could not tell that anyone has been in the kitchen. I also hate, HATE crumbs or spills on the counter-top – however, whenever I make the kitchen all pretty, the man gets the munchies and I’m back to square one. But I’ll deal with it because he always does the trash and vacuums!

Reply
Anna Lee
11 years ago

Oh, the produce sticker post. It showed that we’re not all crazy, it just MAKES sense sticking them to the sink instead of throwing them away haha.

Reply
Laura
11 years ago
Recipe Rating :
     

Confession; I hit the print button directly from my phone and pulled the nuts and coconut out of the pantry on my way to the printer. Got so excited to try another OSG recipe and it might have just a little to do with the fact I haven’t had chocolare this week yet!? Can hardly wait for the 15 min in the freezer. Thanks Angela:) love the variations and potental variations. I confess a small pinch of fleur d sel on top.

Reply
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About Angela

I’m Angela, the founder of Oh She Glows. Since 2008, I’ve been on a journey to glow from the inside out by creating crowd-pleasing plant-based recipes. I’m a New York Times Bestselling cookbook author and award-winning app creator. Click below for my full story!
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