Happy Friday! Wow this week has flown by!
This morning I was so excited to try out my new Booty Camp Fitness DVD.
I started with the Cardio Quickie which was 19 mins plus a 5 min warm up and 5 min cool down. Then I did the BOOTY BOOSTER afterwards. I didn’t know this, but the DVD is actually two DVD’s for a total of 262 minutes. Yowza!
It KICKED MY BOOTAY!!!! Oh my gosh, I was panting up a storm doing the cardio portion and the Booty Booster was honestly the best booty workout I have ever done. I was cursing in my head and out loud!!!
It gave me a nice post-booty glow afterwards! :mrgreen:
Lunch took two minutes to prepare and it was a good thing because I was Hangry!
2 Minute Pumpkin Quinoa
Ingredients:
- 1 cup canned pumpkin
- 1 cup cooked quinoa
- 1/2 cup Almond Breeze (unsweetened)
- Sea salt and pepper to taste
- Shredded coconut to garnish
Directions: Mix together and add more salt if necessary. Heat and serve! I think this was the quickest lunch I have ever made!!!
Serves 1.
This is my favourite spoon. It is from Mexico where Eric and I got engaged!
What is that, an elephant??
I can’t stop.
Two delicious kiwis to keep the tropical theme going! A hefty dose of Vit C to keep those colds at bay.
Do You Feel Pressure From Your Job To Be Thin: Take 2
It is amazing how many women feel pressure to maintain or achieve a low body weight because of one’s JOB (see original post here). It is a bit scary actually when you think about how many hours a day we spend at work or in school.
A few themes in the comments stuck out for me:
Please note, I am not saying this is true in every workplace, I am just summarizing what some of the comments were in the original post.
1) Appearance focused jobs come with a lot of pressure to be thin. For example, jobs like fashion design, acting, retail, sales, health and fitness, etc. However, office jobs too can have a lot of pressure depending on the environment.
2) Women often feel pressure from other women, not men, to lose weight.
3) There is a lot of unhealthy diet/weight talk that goes on among women at work.
4) Healthy women are often singled out and made fun of because of their ‘weird’ eating or exercise habits.
5) Women often feel the need to reduce their attractiveness or increase it, depending on their environment. Many of you said you tried to downplay your attractiveness to be taken more seriously, or you used it to your advantage.
6) Many college environments have a ton of pressure to be thin and to ‘keep up with the Jones’
I often hear the saying that women are skinny for other women, not men. Do you think that is true? There tends to be this unspoken pressure that many women feel when they are in groups with other women. This pressure can escalate when women feel that things are at stake like a promotion at work or a higher grade in a class.
One reader put it very well when she asked, ‘Why do we do this to ourselves?’ I think it is so hard to get away from the negative situation, especially if others are constantly talking about dieting all day at work. How do you get away from your coworkers whom you have to talk to all day long?
At my old job, I had one coworker who would make fun of me every single day. He would often say, ‘All you eat is lettuce.’ in front of my boss and my coworkers. It was humiliating and not true, in fact, I never even used to bring salads for lunch (not that there is anything wrong with a salad, anyways!). Other days, he would tease me for eating TOO much. We all know that when you eat healthy (especially vegetarian or vegan) you need a lot of food to sustain your energy. I would pack large lunches because if I didn’t I would be starving all day long! My coworker often said things like, ‘Wow you are going to eat all that?’ and ‘Geeze are you still eating?’. It was a very negative situation day in and day out, even though I tried just to ignore it the best I could.
I eventually realized that no one can bring me down without my permission.
Here I was letting this guy get to me each day, when I knew that I was doing nothing wrong. I finally decided to stop allowing him to affect my mood. I just had to say to myself, ‘No more’, and each time it happened, I tuned it out and told myself something positive about myself inside my head such as, ‘You treat yourself amazing and you respect your health.’ I also realized that he probably said these things to me because he was insecure about himself. He ate fast food for lunch everyday and he probably felt bad about his own choices.
I think it is important for women everywhere to live for yourself, first. Don’t live for your coworkers who expect you to eat a diet yogurt for lunch with them everyday. Don’t live for your male boss who expects you to look a certain way.
Decide to live for YOU and you only. Make yourself happy. Treat yourself kindly. The better you treat yourself, the happier you will be, and the easier it will be for you to ignore the pressure. I found the worse I treated myself, the more I perceived the pressure to be around me. If I bought into the pressure, it was hard to escape. If I told myself that I was in control of how I perceived my environment, then it made it easier.
We can help ourselves a lot if we change our perception and surround ourselves with positive people, or even just positive thoughts.
What do you think? Are women thin for other women, or for men? Is it possible to escape the pressure that many of us feel?
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{ 64 comments… read them below or add one }
thank you as always for your thoughtful insight & inspiring words! <3
I’m so thankful that I don’t have this difficulty at work. No one cares what I eat, or even pays attention to it. I go for a long walk every day at lunchtime and the most anyone ever says about it is “good for you.” I took my workplace for granted until reading these posts – thanks!
The pumpkin quinoa looks amazing – I love the shredded coconut on top!
I love the line ‘decide to live for you and you only.’ That has been HUGE for me. I am such a people pleaser. I am slowly learning that one step at a time.
I get teased for eating a lot from colleagues, but it is very good natured (even my husband calls me the eating monster. . .). I don’t mind that at all. ;)
There are so few women around me, that I don’t really have anyone to compete with. BUT, I generally do think that pressure comes from competition between/among women. I mean, let’s face it. Having a male colleague the age of my father joke that I better eat lunch before a meeting to keep from getting grouchy is VERY different from having a younger female colleague make the same comment.
I love that spoon!!
The “Woman stay skinny for other women, not men” is a really interesting (and true!) assertion.
When I was at an unhealthy BMI (due to health issues) girls would as me for my “diet plan” and tell me they wanted to look like me. All I could thing was “Are you crazy? I work every day to GAIN weight!”
Now that I’ve gained, girls never say anything to me but guys complement it. Haha one girl was eating rice cakes the other day and told me “I want to be thin like you USED to be”
I was shocked because 1. I’m still on the thin side! and 2. Can people really say those things??
In general I’ve noticed guys like curves and girls are just mean and evil (for the most part! ;-))
Whoa! I can’t believe someone said that to you.
I really get uncomfortable when girls start saying things like, “I want to be thin like her” or “I have this fat roll” and I’m like… I’ve never noticed. And plus what would you say to that?
I think the competition/pressure definitely comes from other women in most cases. There is just that unspoken tension, the sizing one another up, that can be detrimental if you let it run wild. Isn’t it crazy? Even if we don’t realize it, we all have probably affected another woman in this way.
1. Lunch looks amazing and I cannot wait to try that recipe soon.
2. I completely and utterly agree… and I think the reason that we feel pressure from other women is because we aware that we ourselves notice when a peer or coworker has gained/lost weight, toned up, developed cellulite, wrinkles, etc. We can be very harsh judges on ourselves and each other. Perhaps it’s just me but I’d say it’s because of the pressure put on women (in a male-dominated society) to look great, be happy, and while being a superwoman at home and in the work place.
Great topic :)
A lot of times it does come from other women. I have gotten that “you eat weird stuff” a lot in my office, because mostly people just get pizza or sandwiches for lunch. I just let it roll off my back and keep eating my veggies or drinking my Kombucha or whatever :-)
“No one can bring me down without my permission”– love it. So true…and yet, so hard to remember at times, right?
Love that spoon, too :-) You make me want to start a spoon collection…but I already have a juice glass connection, so I think my hub might rebel :-)
“Connection?” Collection!!! Thank goodness it’s Friday :-)
Every day when I go to eat lunch in my grad student office, someone makes a comment like “what IS that?” or “is that all you’re eating?” (NO! I have like 5 snacks in my bag, give me a minute!). It made me self-conscious for awhile but like you said, eventually I just stopped letting it get to me. My office is all male (engineering grad school woo) and I never feel weight pressure, they just think eating tons of veggies and no meat is “weird.” In undergrad, I felt way more pressure to be a certain size because all the girls seemed pretty and tiny. Still, at the gym, I always feel like other women are sizing me up way more than men!
I think it’s true that women want to be healthy for other women–or themselves. I’ve heard so many men say that they like a girl with meat on her bones. But if a man were to ask you to gain weight, would you? It’s funny how that works.
I also get teased for eating so much. I’m a painfully slow eater, and I eat a lot of smaller foods to fill me up, so my colleagues always tease me for eating nonstop throughout the day. What can you do? Eating a healthy lunch takes longer than scarfing down a Big Mac!
I think a lot of the pressure we as women put on ourselves is definitely caused by other women. I know personally there are evenings when we have to go out with certain groups of our friends and I struggle to get ready because I have a hard time deciding the “perfect” outfit. My husband often thinks it is nuts that I am more concerned about pleasing other women instead of him, and when I think about it, IT IS! Yeah it is unfortunate that we put so much pressure on ourselves!
You are totally right about the man who made comments on your meals. I bet that your habits made him feel insecure about his own. I strogly believe that no one has the right to comment on others’ portion sizes. We all have different energy levels and needs. I eat huge salads but I need them because I am a vegetarian. I also ate a lot when I was training for a marathon but I was unabashed about I because I knew I needed the fuel. Funny how scathing women can be to other women. I think we need all the empowerment and support we can get, and we should tirmthr negative energy into positive energy.
it’s totally “for” other women (which, by the way, is so weird to actually think about). We all have our perceived idea of perfection, and our instinct to be the best expands to all areas of life. i know that when I put pressure on myself it’s in almost a competitive way, as in being thinner will be make me better. i know this isn’t true, but it’s almost automatic the way it pops into my head!
i love that you said that quote, “no one can bring me down without my permission.” it’s something i need to remember more so that I realize what’s happening when these horrible thoughts creep up!
I’m so glad Eric loves Quinoa! My guy just recently started loving it too.
Women really do put pressure on other women — way more than men do. In fact, if I really think about it, I’m only trying to lose weight for my wedding so that all of my friends I haven’t seen in so long won’t say, WOW she’s gotten chunky! And myself of course, I’m the most critical of myself. The man who matters is already on board!
The quinoa looks great! I just bought some today, I wish I’d gotten pumpkin as well!
My brother actually makes a lot of comments regarding the way I eat, and it’s started to bring me down because even though I know it’s his job as an older brother to tease me, he is my brother and I value his opinions. He’s a fast food king, so I think a lot of what you said applies to him, but it still hurts and no matter how many times I talk to him it doesn’t change :(
I personally feel a TON of pressure, not just in the workplace even, about my eating habits and my lifestyle choices. Often, someone in the family, particularly my mother, will lecture me for long periods of time about being a vegetarian, and she doesn’t think I am eating enough, and that I have an “unhealthy obsession” with exercising.
What I have also noticed along with these comments from her, is that she will usually start them off with, “Wow, Rebecca, you’ve lost a lot of weight. You look thin.” And, affirmatively, I will hear others around me tell me that I look like I am glowing, or that my body is looking so much better. I have learned that I am never going to change my mothers habits, and likewise, she is never going to change mine, so why bother entertaining that energy that has no where to flow?
I really feel like we who exercise daily also get a bad reputation. I have been told I have an “obsession,” and that I might be addicted to the “high” of running, from people. All of these people do not exercise, and eat food that is not whole for our body. They feel a sense of guilt or that they do not want to “own” their unhealthy habits, which is why they feel the need to point out mine. I’ve realized that they are correct, I do get a high from exercising (running especially), but it is a positive, healthy high. One that is helping me work towards longevity, keeping my panic disorder at bay, and making me feel more confident every single day from everything to getting dressed, to feeling sexy in front of my husband.
Bottom line: Do not entertain energy that has no where to go. I exercise daily and am a vegetarian for no one else but for myself. I do not do it to fit in, to please someone else, or to come off as “superior” (which is often another one I hear from people). I do this because it is where I find inner peace when I lay my head down on my pillow at night.
Rebecca,
Sorry about the mixed up reply. But I wanted to tell you that I found alot of peace in your words that you are a vegetarian and a runner for you. Not any one else. I often think about the gallons of diet coke I used to consume and countless chicken breasts I would broil to watch my ‘carbs’ and stay thin. No more. I now eat with a conscious thought of the healthiness of my food. Life is so much better when you stop trying to please (and interpret) other people’s perceptions of you.
Are women thin for other women, or for men?
I think it’s true that women are thin for (and feel the most pressure from) other women. Most men I know prefer some curviness on a woman.
As I said in the other post, I had comments and snickers about what I ate when I worked at the hospital from the other RDs. A few of them were appalled that I used butter on my baked potato instead of the fat-free cottage cheese that they used.
When I worked with men (I was a personal assistant to the head football coach in college) I never felt that pressure. I did have a couple of comments on my curves, but they were positive and complimentary.
I don’t know why women feel so competitive with other women. I wish we could be more of a supportive sisterhood.
Angela, really, thank you for these posts. Most of my life I was “the skinny girl” (I still am I guess) but I’e recently developed unhealthy obsessions with my body and my weight and have become increasingly aware of myself and others as well. There are plenty of pressures in my life, and your posts are soooo relevant to my present state of being. It’s really helping me to read what everyone has to say. That said, I’ve never felt external pressure to be thin because I already am thin. What pressure I’m feeling now is that, because I am already thin, I don’t know how to explain to people that I feel like I am having a problem with my body image and with my food intake. Generally, I get scoffed at, “What do you have to worry sbout, you’re already skinny?” I’m finding it’s really difficult to come clean about my problem because I feel like everyone around me sees me in a certain way and for some reason I am afraid to destroy that image.
My lunch looked almost like yours, except pink instead of orange. I recently have an INSANE love of beets+quinoa, so on the weekend when I have time I roast up a bunch of beets and slice them and prepare some quinoa so I have it in the fridge all week. And kiwi for dessert too! I like to cut them in half and eat them with a grapefruit spoon.
Absolutely! A lot of pressure on women to be thin *does* come from other women. I don’t know why this is, but it’s really disheartening. In my mind, it seems to negate all the positive steps forward women have made over the years: the right to vote, Women’s Liberation, equal opportunity in the workplace, and more. If we women are bringing each other down about something as trivial as weight–and, yes, at the end of the day, it would be better to be an overweight activist who passionately cares about the world she lives in, and strives to make a difference in that world, rather than a slender, fit woman who does nothing all day but sit around and paint her nails–how can we expect the rest of society to take us seriously, and listen to what we have to say? In retrospect, with attitudes like that, it’s amazing we’ve gotten anywhere!
(Then again, look how long it took for us women in the US to get the vote!)
The worst thing a woman can do to another woman is harp on her about her weight. Sure, I’m just as guilty as the next person for judging a person based his or her weight–and I think that’s only because I, too, have struggled with an eating disorder. But that’s an attitude I am trying very hard to change. I can only hope that, in the future, more people will strive towards healthy lifestyles, physically, emotionally and ideologically.
I think it may seem initially like women are thin for other women- but so much of the “ideal” image of feminine beauty is perpetuated by the media and other social constructs (which were ultimately created by MEN). Going with that….
Women tearing each other down over body image and appearance keeps us the percieved “weaker” sex. We can’t unite because we are too busy trying to live up to these ridiculous standards created by men.
What we choose to eat is just the beginning.
Whew!
That lunch looks fantastic; two of my favorites in one dish…
It is so true about negative comments often being a reflection of that person’s insecurities. I also struggled with that for a while. I am an extrememly healthy eater, and yes, I too have to eat a TON to sustain myself. I often hear comments ranging from “you need to eat more, you are too skinny” to “are you STILL eating” or “are you going to eat ALL of that” to “is that ALL you are eating?”. All of these commments from the same person. I finally realized that I couldn’t “win” with these people, no matter what I said/ate, and finally stopped caring! It has been so refreshing and a huge weight off my shoulders to no longer attempt to please others with my eating. I eat for me, and I love it!
I’m very interested in food blogs for this reason. I’m amazed at how much people have to eat in order to sustain energy. Right now I’m eating too much pasta, cheese and protein in my diet, and even though I’ve been reading food blogs for a good 8-9 months now, I still haven’t made the change to eat healthier.
It’s overwhelming to me. I don’t know what new stuff to shop for, and I don’t know what to pack for lunches – even though I read food blogs CONSTANTLY. I just think I’d like to almost have some one guide me (in person) to get me started on it all. Everything always looks so delicious!
How is grocery budget compared to what it used to be? Do you pay more or less now that you eat healthier?
Aww Nancy, I have two bits of advice for you:
1. I HIGHLY recommend going back to Angela’s very first blog posting and read every single day in sequential order. The material here is seriously life-changing. I gain so much encouragement and superb food ideas from Angela.
2. Set goals. Start small…change one thing a week. For me, I’ve made goals to try two new and healthy foods a week. Start exercising with a simple walk a few times a week or once a day after supper. Whatever works. Don’t be too hard on yourself. A healthy lifestyle is a life-long journey, not a passing fad. :)
I felt just like you about a year ago. Then I became inspired to become the woman I’ve always dreamed of being and have never looked back. Angela has been a huge part of my success. This place is like therapy for me.
Nancy — start SIMPLE, with one meal a day (lunch). I eat the same things most of the time. A turkey sandwich, orange or apple, veggies, big cup of tea. OR hummus, veggies, pita, big cup of tea. OR salad with cottage cheese (or whatever I have that is protein — beans, left-over chicken), veggies, oil and vinegar dressing. I keep apples/fruit at all times with me for snacks. I used to underestimate how hungry I’d be, so I always pack an extra piece of fruit, pack of nuts, etc. at work. Give that a try — pack a bunch of lunches at once. YOU CAN DO IT!
Thanks for the great replies! Ever since I started to work out (okay, I just started December 1, but still…) I love that I’m NOT craving chocolate, but rather crunchy apples, and carrot sticks.
I do pack great lunches, it’s just my supper is lagging a bit. Right now for my “healthy” lunches I usually eat rye bread, turkey luncheon meat, iceburg lettuce, a slice of tomato, and a squirt of mayo. I suppose that’s not too horrible, and I could replace the mayo with honey dijon or something. But I’m going to back to the very beginning like Amy suggested – and start reading and going from there.
Plus, it’s grocery day. Maybe I’ll pick up some hummus.. I have a bad taste in my head about hummus because when I was 16, I went on a camping trip and we had hummus and it was so gritty and dry and not so great. Maybe it’s changed since then, lol.
Again, thank you so much gals! You’re the best.
Your lunch looks delish- I am breaking out my canned pumpkin tonight!
I really do think that women dress for other women and that pressure comes from our peers. We are inherently more critical of ourselves (have you ever seen a guy feel bad about eating chocolate cake?!) and I think when we all get together, it’s worse.
I bring huge bags of food- it takes a lot of apples, veggies, fruits, nuts, etc. to keep this girl full. I just laugh it off- their problem, not mine!
Personally, I think all the pressure women feel they are under is a result of trying to compete with other women. Nobody ever tried to be superwoman to earn a mans approval.
I mean, do you really think you’re getting weekly manicures because men care about raggedy nails? Sure, its nice to look down at neat nails, but we’re doing it so we confrom to female standards, and so other girls don’t see us with raggedy nails and think we’re gross! Guys certainly don’t like trendy clothes, yet we’re all beating ourselves into jackets with huge shoulder pads and skinny jeans! And no guy expects us to be skinny…all the guys I know like girls who are regular :)
We totally do this to ourselves.
Great post…I agree that it is other women that make me want to be thin and look nice…guys just don’t notice or care about that stuff. As nother poster said, we totally do it to ourselves.
I didn’t think to comment on your original post because I don’t feel pressure to be thin at work. But, I am treated differently based on how I look. I get negative comments when I’m sick and not wearing makeup. I’m told I’m pretty whenever I wear my hair down (by my male boss). When I wear cute clothes my boss makes a big deal out of it. I don’t feel comfortable looking my best at work because it’s such a big deal. I purposely wear my hair back and a big, baggy sweatshirt for fear of another “compliment”.
At my old job, I was constantly berated for eating when I was hungry which didn’t happen to be at the specified lunch hour. I chose to take my lunch break with my friends, which didn’t happen to be when I was hungry. I was hungry before or after usually, so that was when I ate. I could only take so much before I snapped. Why is it ok to comment on how much a “skinny” person does or does not eat when it’s not ok to comment on how much a larger person does or does not eat? It’s an unfair double standard.
Hey! I’m always so impressed how gorgeous and glowing you look after a work out! i do NOT look like that haha…my face gets pretty red after I’m done.
I tend to want to be thin for myself. I was a dancer growing up so I always had a lean body but after I stopped dancing in college the pounds quickly started packing on. (I was used to dancing all day and eating what I wanted!)
xo
Jocelyn
I’m sure that I first wanted to lose weight out of pressure to be like other women. And somedays I feel the same pressure since Hunni doesn’t care if I gain a few pounds here or there. But mostly now i do it to prove I can do it for myself. I want to look good for me.
But I hate those comments of “Are you going to eat all that?” and “How do you not get fat eating all that food?” It sometimes comes out as snark when I talk back about how my food is better for me even in larger quantities than the burger they are eating. But mostly I can avoid that in my work situation now.
Pumpkin quinoa? Sounds delicious!
The pumpkin quinoa looks delicioussss. And I think that aside from being hard on OURSELVES…the next thing is that women are EXTREMELY hard on other women. When I think about all the times I’ve heard girls making fun of other girls for how they dress or look…especially due to weight…oy. We should support each other not tear each other down!
Your lunch looks fantastic! I love the shape of quinoa and the little tendrils that come off of it:)
Though call. Interesting. I’ve never though about it this way. Been thin is the ideal of beauty, in mostly every country in the world, and especially in the occidental world. Women put pressure on themselves to get to this ideal, and they perpetuate it (for the youngest generations) by doing so. There is some sort of social “beauty scale” that measure the ideal of beauty and that everyone knows from a very young age. Remember that we were young, we all envied (thin) princess and young popular movie stars. The more you look like a model, a cheerleader, a movie star, a magazine cover girl, the highest you rate on the scale. The highest you are on the “scale” the more you will be envied by other woman. Why? Because they’ll think you will have a better life, better husband, better job, you will be happier! I am not sure how men influence this, I doubt they are at the origin of all that. But about women, there is a lot of frustration since most women do not and will never look like THE top scored ideal or wouldnt been healthy doing so, there is therefore a lot of competition among woman, to “reach higher”. That lead SOME women to be mean, look down, isolate other woman that are “less ranked” than them or the one who do not seems to put much effort to be thin (which is frustrating for some who are trying but are not). I never felt pressure to be thin in my work environment but yet I did felt the frustration of some woman toward me and some jealousy.
I love this discussion. I struggled with this so much just in every day life and situations while getting healthy. People would constantly point out what I was eating and it made me incredibly uncomfortable. Then I was vegan for awhile, and the pressure was worse! I finally gave up all these ideas I had of letting other people control my food choices, and it’s been so liberating.
I now don’t feel the need to justify what and how I’m eating. If someone asks “are you vegan?”, “are you vegetarian?” “WHAT are you!?” I just say “I’m healthy”. And that’s enough justification.
I think it’s totally true that we try to look thin/beautiful for other women. My fiance doesn’t care at all if I don’t wear makeup or if I eat like a pig, or if I gain 10 pounds. However, i know that I’d get comments from other women if I suddently let loose and didn’t care about my appearance.
OK I don’t really think it’s women’s pressure on women. Let’s face it, men and women compete against their own sex for attention from the opposite sex. (unless you are of course homosexual, or bi, or whatever you may be) Men compete against men different then women compete against women. But let’s face it, most mean commments come from someone who is feeling insecure about something in their life.
When I was struggling with my ED, I would make sure I’d order food after my friends. I would eat slow, and make sure I had the least amount of food on my plate. It made me feel superior, stronger that I was eating less. If my friends had chocolate and I resisted, I felt better about myself. Needless to say I was far to conscious of what I was putting in my body in comparison to others.
To this day I get self-conscious when I order a salad or something because it totally does bring up those old feelings. What I really hate is when someone says, “Oh you’re being so good ordering a salad.” It seems so innocent, but I feel so guilty for enjoying the salad. Or like when people say, “Oh I wish I could be a vegetarian… but I just can’t.” It makes me feel like there’s something wrong with the fact that I am a vegetarian for me.
None of what I do is for other people, or to be superior, so I really don’t like it when people take my lifestyle as a comment on their lifestyle. So you want a burger and I want a salad? So what, there are times I eat crap too, it’s all relative.
At least I’m not super tiny, so people don’t bother me about that. Though sometimes I definitely feel like people look at me and assume I don’t eat well…
I’m sometimes given a hard time, as I’m not a fan of low-fat, and I even eat sugar sometimes, which many women can’t deal with. Too damn bad, I used to be obese, now I’m not, and I am not willing to be insane about food. The weird thing about it is that while I am given grief for intentionally, deliberately eating sugar and/or fat, it seems perfectly acceptable to follow a “clean” diet, with regular slip-ups, accidents, etc. If we’re going on a 3 hour hike, and I eat a heavy breakfast, and my hiking companion snarks on it while she eats a light breakfast, then a donut (“I shouldn’t, but I can’t resist”), I still think I’ve made the healthier choice. I’m not going to feel guilty about enjoying my food, as I think it’s a better choice than not enjoying it, and then eating junk to compensate. Besides, I’ve lost 50 pounds, if people don’t like how I eat, they can kiss my not so fat ass.
oh my god. I just about died laughing at your comment “Besides, I’ve lost 50 pounds, if people don’t like how I eat, they can kiss my not so fat ass.”
There are a few people I’d like to call up and just say that one line too, except, since I haven’t gotten to the 50lb lost (not even at the 15 pound loss yet) I’d substitute in my half marathon accomplishment.
The pumpkin quinoa looks so yummy and simple!
With regarding to woman being thin…I think they do it for other woman, as competition almost. Men don’t like girls who are too thin…at least I don’t think they do – cosmo told me haha.
Women are thin for other women – no question.
Dear Angela,
Have you seen “America the Beautiful?” It’s a documentary about how focused on beauty and appearance our society is. Thought provoking and a bit disheartening.They focus part of the film on a 12 year old girl that who was basically chewed up and spit out by the fashion industry once she got to be age 14 or 15. Kind of horrific.
This is such an interesting thing. For me, losing weight has actually made me more insecure…is that possible?
When I was heavy, 100lbs ago, I was in my own world. Kinda like ‘us v. them’. However, as I have lost weight I have become more aware of how much more I need to lose. Finding myself comparing to the fitness regimes of those online, around me etc. Is my stomach as flat.
However, I am more aware of that. What you wrote ‘Decide to live for YOU and you only. Make yourself happy. Treat yourself kindly. The better you treat yourself, the happier you will be, and the easier it will be for you to ignore the pressure. I found the worse I treated myself, the more I perceived the pressure to be around me.’
I think it’s so true. The level at which you treat yourself, is really the level at which you deem the world to treat you and you give permission for.
Thanks for bringing this up. Thanks for following it up. Thanks for making me give myself a pat of the back.
p.s. I love quinoa.
This is an awesome post. There is so much to think on here!
I completely agree that women are skinny for other women. I have never heard a guy say “oh wow she’s so skinny! she’s the best looking woman i’ve ever seen!” Um no. Never. I’ve been told by countless guys that super skinny is unattractive. So no, I think it’s something we do to ourselves. how sad that is.
And about your co-worker who used to comment on everything, you are right – he was just insecure about himself. There are always people like that. my family does that to me sometimes but I just brush it off. I am who I am and I make the choices I make for myself, not to please someone else.
Great and inspiring post :)
Women compete with other women, yep! My husband and many other men have said there’s nothing more flattering on a woman than curves. Over the years, I’ve grown and realized that nothing I do now is for anyone but myself. I won’t workout or eat right to look better than someone else or be skinnier than my friend. I do these things to be the healthiest person I can be. Because I feel good when I live this way. I will validate my own feelings with my own progress…no matter what anyone else thinks. I turn 30 this year and I have a feeling that my thirties will be the best years of my life thus far. I finally love myself, my body and care about ME. I won’t let anyone else diminish that. Life. Is. Good. :)
I work in fitness – so I do feel pressure to look a certain way, i.e. “thin” and “fit.”
But this topic just made me think of a class I was in today. It’s a 3 month program at a local personal training studio. I’m a student in the class and it’s a group of 6 women. We took a class before picture today and the woman I went to stand next too made a fuss because she is significantly heavier than me. Really?!?! Aren’t we all here to just be our best and improve our health? I don’t single you out for your looks, why are you picking on me for being slimmer (and by the way, I used to be 200lbs+)?
I’ve encountered this sort of thing before – I got healthier and now sometimes get picked on by less healthier people for eating weird or exercising. My brother constantly torments me about eating tofu – which I actually don’t even eat.
I think people just pick on another person if they are not comfortable with themselves – or feel like they should be doing what you’re doing.
It can be annoying -but I know it’s insecurity and such.
I fully agree that women put more pressure on themselves to look good for other women.
I guess I never stopped to think that people made comments to me because they may be feeling insecure about themselves, or having some guilt issues over their Mcdonald’s lunch, while I sit there munching through a large bag of veggies.
OOOO I want this DVD!!
I have a coworker that always comments on what Im eating. Like you, I have no interest in being hungry all day long and so I bring lots of snacks. He always says things to me like “I thought you were on a diet why are you eating again?” Well, Im NOT on a diet, and Im sorry if you have a problem with me eating a kiwi, but keep it to yourself. I dont let him get to me though. The fact of the matter is that he’s an ass. Nothing will change that.
I definitely think we want to be skinny for other women more than for men. Lets be honest, men typically dont want women to be skinny. My boyfriend got super concerned when I lost weight “you’re not going to get skinny are you?” Its all a competition. We see other women and we want to look better than them, and thats not healthy.
When you did the other post on feeling pressure in the workplace, I could see how it related to the industry I am soon to be entering (public relations), but failed to think about where I am right now. I work in a supermarket, and as a service supervisor I work in a confined space with one or two other supervisors at a time. Off the top of my head, I can think of seven other supervisors (out of eleven) who are health and fitness minded. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing – we will come into work and share stories of our workouts, provide motivation and a general health culture.
But for the females in particular, it is beginning to border on obsessive in terms of self image. None of us are overweight, but we are continually complaining about areas of our bodies we hate and how we want to lose weight. It’s as if the more into exercise one person becomes, the more we all amp it up. Then on our meal break we’ll get something from the bakery or have a chocolate and laugh it off.
This post has given me a wake up call. From now on I am going to love myself and my body. Exercise because I love the endorphins and fuel myself with foods that will keep me healthy. No more fat talk.
Thanks Angela.
Firstly, love your posts and the amount of thought you put in to them! I maintain the weight I am right now because I know that I look after myself and its a healthy weight. I wouldn’t say I maintain my weight for anyone else but myself.
It is true that women can be so catty when it comes to weight. At work I was standing talking in the office and a co-worker randomly walked up to me and said so everyone could hear ‘How are you so skinny? You skinny b*£%$?’. I guess someone could be saying that in a joking kind of manner but it kind of made me feel she was trying to make me feel bad about myself or something which was NOT going to happen.
At my work its almost the opposite. They are mostly bigger ladies and you almost feel pressure to stay unfit with them. To eat the bad foods they are eating. Funny how people try to keep you down with them.
I’ve never felt the pressure to be thin due to men. I think women are more judgmental about the appearances of other women. I definitely eat more now than I did when I ate a unhealthy diet, but none of my coworkers have made negative comments about it. But I consider nearly all of my coworkers friends, and we’re all very open & honest with each other. It’s not a negative environment in any way.
We usually eat healthy as a group at work. We all bring items to make salads or bring our lunches.
This was a really insightful post. I think the “who are women thin for?” question can only be answered when defining how thin is thin. If you mean just generally healthy-looking and slim, then I think a lot of the time women do aim to be thin for men because this is the type of woman that men are typically attracted to. But I think women who try to attain the supermodel, sickly skinny ideal are only doing it for other women. I don’t know any men who are attracted to women who look like skeletons, yet women constantly attempt to look that way anyway.
Mmmmmmmm, this recipe looks amazing! And it’s GF to boot! Thanks for posting Angela. I don’t know what it is about you and your awesome blog, but every time I read it, I am more compelled to go vegetarian!!! (vegan someday)
Hope you have a good week!
I know this is old now, but a lot of those points are so true! I am a female engineer, so most of my co-workers are male. They are always saying things like “Is that all you are going to eat?” and commenting on my eating when I try to eat healthy. Believe me- I eat a lot. I just like to eat frequent smaller meals, and I eat lots of salads. There definitely seems to be this feeling that you should LOOK healthy, but not seem to be trying to be healthy (or thin, or fit). The perception is that people who are obviously trying to be healthy are probably obessive and unhealthy about it, which is not true!
On the other hand, I can say that in my college experience, fitness, health and being thin were the last things on most peoples priority list. I can’t tell you how many people gained the freshman 15, or 20, EVERY year of school.
I have a question about the calorie count in your pumpkin quinoa recipe. I have not found a brand of quinoa with less than 150 calories for 1/4 cup serving. So if your recipe calls for 1 cup of quinoa, how can it be only 369 calories, which includes all of the other ingredients in that calorie count? Canned pumkin is 50 calories per half cup and the recipe calls for 1 cup–that’s 100 calories alone for pumpkin. Now add in the almond milk and coconut……Doesn’t add up.