I recently made the connection that gratitude and practicing gratitude are two entirely different things. I feel very grateful for the blessings in my life, but on the other hand I know I’m not putting my gratitude into practice very often. It’s one thing to know I’m grateful, but it’s another thing to claim what those things are and bring them to my awareness on a daily basis. For a lot of people, this can mean the difference in feeling apathetic about ones life or feeling happy, grateful, and blessed.
As I mentioned in my Goals for 2012 post, I was struggling with more internal negativity than usual. Shortly after writing that post, I realized that my goal of reducing negativity wasn’t the best goal because I didn’t say how I was going to overcome it. Great goals always have a plan, right? I decided to change my goal up slightly. Instead of saying that I was going to reduce negativity, I now say that I’m going to reduce negativity by incorporating a daily gratitude practice in my life. My goal now has a plan!
When I told Eric about my plan, he was eager to join me. Initially, my plan was to write down 5 things that I’m grateful for each day, but after telling Eric about it, he suggested that we do it together. Instead of writing it down, we would just talk about 5 positive things from our day with each other. It’s now a daily gratitude conversation. Not only does this keep us accountable (it’s like having a workout buddy!), but it allows us to share the goods things that went on that we otherwise may not have known about.
I’ve tried in the past to keep a daily gratitude log, but I always found that I could never stick with it. Having someone as my gratitude buddy will help me commit to this practice each day. We’ve been telling each other 5 things we are grateful for before bed and I’ve been blown away by what a difference it makes in our outlook. Not only do I enjoy hearing about things that have made him happy in his day, but I love to share things with him. I like to relate it to gift giving; is it better to receive a nice gift or is it better to watch someone open a gift you gave them? Sharing joy, increases the joy in our own hearts.
As an added bonus, it’s a great way to tell your partner something that they did to make you happy. How often do we do things for each other that go unrecognized? It’s the perfect time to say “I acknowledge what you did and that makes me feel grateful”. Of course, this can be done any time of the day, but sometimes all we need is a quiet moment to reflect on things.
For all of you who have a hard time sticking with a daily gratitude practice, my challenge for you is to find a gratitude buddy. It can be your partner, mom, sibling, roomie, best friend….anyone you love and trust. Pledge to share 5 things you are grateful for each day. Some days will be easier than others to come up with the list, but that is the point. If you don’t live with the person, you can call them on the phone, Skype, or even just commit to emailing each other your list each night before bed. Or maybe once a week works better for you. You come up with what will be realistic for your life!
Sketchie is thankful for boxes. :)
Since we started this daily gratitude practice, I’ve felt significantly happier and more positive than I have in a while. I totally underestimated how much of a difference it would make and now I’m a believer of the positivity daily gratitude can create. I find myself thinking about good things throughout the day because I know that I will have to come up with 5 things before bed. In turn, my positivity is increased all day long.
In my mind, practicing gratitude is simply bringing all of those daily experiences that we all have to the forefront of our minds. Gratitude does not negate the bad things that happen to us, but it’s a conscious choice to bring our attention to the positives in each day.
I’d love for you to join us with this challenge!
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For other Daily Glow posts, see:
Graduation Fears
The Silly Things We Say
Do What You Can…Today
What’s Your 6-Word Love Story?
Without Self-Love, I Have Nothing.
Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain
Kicking the Pop Habit: Eric 1 Year Later
Weekend Inspiration
How to Reframe and Negative Thought with a Thought Record
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This is a really great idea! My husband and I have tried doing this every morning but have never stuck to it. I think I will try doing it towards the end of the day. I really enjoy reading your blog and seeing all of your great posts!
I like this idea but its something I would like to acknowledge to myself as a part of peaceful meditation at night before I go to sleep. I do need to think more positively and I think reflecting on the day in that way would be very helpful towards my overall mood.
What a wonderful ritual you have started! You have definitely inspired me to do the same. Love this, Angela.
I just LOVE posts like these! I really like this idea, and have been struggling with negative thinking as well. Looking forward to trying this with a loved one :)
I wore a “gratitude” charm on a necklace for years and each day on the way to work I would touch it and say a handful of things I was truly grateful for. It really served me well to have that small reminder with me. I need to find a new routine now that I work from home – love your idea of having someone to be accountable to…
Oh my gosh I love this! I am going to try to recruit the boyfriend as my graditude buddy! :)
I love this idea, I also love the idea of including my 3 yo son. I think it’s a good thing to start young.
This is such a wonderful idea and thanks so much for sharing it with us! As well as increasing our own positive outlook and gratitude for our precious human life, it could also really help to improve relationships. So often we take our partners for granted and forget to tell them how grateful for we are for all the things they do (big or small). By telling them how grateful we are on a regular basis, their happiness increases and, in turn, so does ours. Win Win! :)
Angela – thank you for this post…I also read your self love post…it was real, and so true….I have struggled with my own self love for the past 4 years (and earlier with an ED) after gaining some serious weight due to being very sick (I had a tumor removed from my Uterus) – while I’m on the road to recovery, and there are still issues – the weight is slowly coming off, and I am healthier now than ever before – I can still be very hard on myself…ugh.
Rob and are completing our inspiration board this evening, and I need to regroup – seriously…you are so beautiful for sharing your heart, and soul….and a thousand times – thank you.
Great post! Practicing gratitude is something I think most of us struggle with. Recently I had a revelation from observing my kids: Gratitude is not an innate thing we are born with. It has to be learned, and like most things that are learned, it does indeed need to be practiced. As someone who also struggles with self-criticism and anxiety, remembering everything I am grateful for on a daily basis is really important to my well-being.
Making a choice to be happy, to be grateful, to be positive; to not succumb to negative thinking, a negative mentality or mindset is such a great message and so important.
I try to do all those things and appreciate the reminders and think it’s great you’re doing this challenge!
I love this ! I too am grateful for you, I love your blog and when I need a positive spin on the day I always go to ohsheglows to see what is new. Thank you for always being inspiring and encouraging. :). I will try to pay if forward !
My husband and I take an evening walk together every night so this will be a perfect focus for our discussions!
You turned a passive negativity (NOT dwelling on the negative) into a positive choice to dwell on the good stuff. How wonderful to have a partner/husband who supports those decisions in such a concrete way! No matter how we feel to the contrary, we all have something for which to be grateful, even if we can’t see it right now. Thank YOU, Angel, for the reminder.
I do something similar to this almost every night at dinner with my family. We each talk about the best thing that happened to us that day. I think its a great way to share the positive things that happen to us during the day with each other and it also teaches my children to recognize the happy parts of their day.
I used to do this with the teens I worked with! Every time they would seem really annoyed with me – after a few weeks I decided to quit because I was frustrated with their attitudes. After two days of not doing it, they told me that they really missed it!! So it became a tradition for us!!
Beautiful post, Angela!
LOVE this idea- as you said, I think it’s a great way to be more connected to your husband/partner and really share with them how they make up such a big part of why you’re grateful for so much. This is especially great to do in the winter months when things have a way of bringing us down more easily!
Love this idea, thanks for sharing. I will be implementing this – what a great idea!
:) brilliant idea! this is a great way for everyone in the family to be held accountable for their actions and feelings! A great way to get kids and adults involved in loving and respecting their life!