A Friend In The Mirror

by Angela (Oh She Glows) on July 21, 2010

Well, we got to see a pretty cool sunset last night!

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I asked Eric if I could take him on a date last night…

‘Can I take you on a date tonight?’ *grin*

‘Why do I feel like this is a trick…?’

He knows me too well, my friends….too well.

He reluctantly agreed to go on a run with me, so I threw on my gear and sat at my desk until he was ready. He has been working on renos in the basement this week, so the fact that he agreed to a run was nothing short of a miracle. We didn’t have time to work on the food photography collage, but I will be updating tonight or tomorrow on it!

I pumped myself up by listening to ‘Magic’ by B.o.B- my newest favourite running song!

You have to fake it til you make it, especially for evening runs!

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I really wasn’t that excited, I just pretended I was! Seemed to work.

Did you know that smiling- even when you aren’t happy- increases the release of endorphins in your brain? When you are unhappy, the simple act of smiling can help you feel better!

Before we left it looked like this….

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2 miles into the run it looked like this…

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The sun was a blazin’! I had one of those zen + oohhhhh + ahhhhh moments for a brief 10 seconds as I watched the sunset. It was beautiful. Just as quickly as it came, it was gone and I was back to huffing and puffing and hauling my butt up the crazy hills. I take what I can get.

By the way, I am still LOVING my Pearl Izumi running hat! It is the best hat I have ever run in. It is mesh, so it breathes and I swear it keeps me cooler than my previous hat did.

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The run:

  • Distance: 3 miles
  • Time: 27:01 mins
  • Avg pace: 8:59 min/mile

 

Mile splits:

  • Mile 1: 9:24 (warm-up)
  • Mile 2: 8:56 (pick-up)
  • Mile 3: 8:39 (in the groove)

 

After returning, I made a Post-run Juice. It is an all veggie juice packed with nutrients and just a pinch of sea salt to replenish what was lost during exercise.

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It is sooooo good. Like V8 only much tastier and fresher!

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Athlete’s Vegetable Juice

Ingredients:

  • 3 tomatoes
  • 4-5 romaine lettuce leaves
  • 1/3 English cucumber
  • 1 stalk celery
  • 1/3 of a small beet
  • 2 medium carrots
  • 1 clove garlic (optional)
  • 1 pinch of sea salt

Directions: Juice the vegetables and pour into a large glass. Add a pinch of sea salt and stir well. Serves 1.

This morning I made Raspberry Vegan Overnight Oats!

Unfortunately, raspberries in a banana soft serve are quite sour tasting (at least mine were). I think the only thing that saved this was that my banana was very ripe (hence, sweet) before freezing.

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For the VOO I used: 2 tbsp chia seeds, 1/3 cup oats, 1 cup Almond milk, 1/4 scoop Amazing Grass chocolate powder.

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Deelish!

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Some overflowage, of course!

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The ‘hat’: 1/2 tsp Unsweetened coconut, 1/2 tsp cacao nibs, and 2 raspberries.

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So refreshing on this hot morning!

Eat Pray Love Quote #3

[For the previous two discussions, see the bottom of my quotes page.]

I have another favourite quote from EPL that I wanted to share with you this morning! On page 54, Elizabeth talks about how she spoke with a comforting presence when she was deep in her depression. She would sit on the bathroom floor at 3 in the morning and ask for help or she would scribble her thoughts in a notebook in Rome.

She writes: “This is what I find myself writing to myself on the page: ‘I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you…There is nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I am stronger than Depression and I am braver than Loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.’

Tonight, this strange interior gesture of friendship- the lending of a hand from me to myself– reminds me of something that happened to me in New York City. I walked into an office building and dashed into the elevator. As I rushed in, I caught an unexpected glimpse of myself in the mirror. In that moment my brain did an odd thing- it fired off this split-second message: ‘Hey! You know her! That’s a friend of yours!” And I actually ran forward toward my own reflection with a smile, ready to welcome that girl whose name I had lost but whose face was so familiar. In a flash instant, of course, I realized my mistake and laughed in embarrassment at my almost doglike confusion over how a mirror works. But for some reason that incident comes to mind again tonight during my sadness in Rome and I find myself writing this comforting reminder at the bottom of the page:

Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.”

This story in the book and most notably the quote at the end really hit home with me for a few reasons. 

Firstly, that whole embarrassing mirror experience has happened to me (thank goodness I am not the only one!!). I actually remember when it happened to me because I was in university at the time and I considered myself the enemy. I remember seeing ‘a friend’s reflection’ in the window of a store and I had that same gut reaction as Elizabeth did. I remember feeling a sinking feeling when I realized it was ‘just me’ in the reflection and that sense of happiness faded quickly. As I recognized myself, I remember saying something negative about myself almost immediately, when just before, I had seen a beautiful, smiling friend looking at me.

Reading this passage in the book made me sad for that experience that I had, but it also made me happy that I no longer get that sinking feeling when I see my reflection in a window or mirror. I see a friend looking back at me, and for years this wasn’t the case. This only changed when I started treating myself like a friend instead of some annoying pest that was constantly screwing up her life and doing everything imperfectly. Make no mistake, our thoughts define how we perceive the world, including ourselves.

I think this quote is so powerful and I almost did a dance when I read it over: “Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognized yourself as a friend.” I think this shows that when we leave our negative thoughts out of the picture and let our instincts take over, we will find that we love ourselves and that we see ourselves as a friend. Only when we let the negative thoughts ‘win’ do we start to entertain the thought that we are something else other than a friend.

Some questions today…Do you consider yourself a friend? Can you relate to the experience that Elizabeth had in the mirror? Have you ever had a shift in how you perceive yourself over the years?

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{ 94 comments… read them below or add one }

Jessica @ How Sweet July 21, 2010 at 9:08 am

The sunset shots are gorgeous.
I definitely have shifted on how I see myself. I have never really had low self esteem, but as I’ve got older I’ve seen the beauty in things I didn’t notice when I was younger. I’m much more confident too.

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Ilana July 21, 2010 at 9:09 am

It took me a really long time to realize that I was the *only* person in the world I can fully control and be dependent on, and that I had to stop being my own worst enemy and become my own best friend. I used to be very self-destructive, I turned everything inward and always tried to hurt myself. I can’t do that anymore -I trained myself out of it by thinking “Well is this something you would ever do to another person?” Why am I not deserving of the same care, love, and respect from myself that I always give to others? Ever since I had that revelation I am no longer at war with myself, and I think me, myself, and I are becoming the best of friends.

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JenATX July 21, 2010 at 9:16 am

Ilana- I like the way you ask yourself to give the same care & respect you give to others

I talk to myself a lot- whenever I think something negative I let the friendly part of me get in a good response. I can really recognize a change so I decided to do it with all aspects of my life. “I can’t write this memo, I don’t know what I’m doing” is responded to with “yes you can, just try you hardest. don’t be afraid to ask questions.” Not only has this helped me be happier w/ me but its giving me more confidence at work & school :)

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Holly @ couchpotatoathlete.wordpress.com July 21, 2010 at 9:59 am

Jen your self talk sounds alot like mine — negative thoughts start creeping and then I have to have a conversation with myself about why I am capable. It definitely helps build my confidence up!

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Delia Michelle April 22, 2013 at 4:02 pm

what great words to hear! Thanks for sharing…

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Samantha Angela @ Bikini Birthday July 21, 2010 at 9:12 am

Did you put garlic in yours?? I HATE veggie juice with garlic. Blech!

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Tracey @ I'm Not Superhuman July 21, 2010 at 9:36 am

Agreed! Drinking garlic sounds like something you do to gain access to a secret society!

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Angela (Oh She Glows) July 21, 2010 at 9:41 am

I didn’t use garlic, but my friend swears by it in her veggie juice which is why I included it in the recipe as optional. =)

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Anna @ Newlywed, Newly Veg July 21, 2010 at 9:13 am

Mmmmm…homemade v8 juice is such a great idea!

I have caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror or store window before and thought, “Oh, she looks nice” before I realized it was me– and I would almost NEVER think that about myself consciously. I almost always find something to criticize or pick at about myself, and rarely just think, “Hey, you look really pretty.” Just goes to show how down we can get on ourselves, when, if we could be objective about the whole thing, we might realize that, all in all, we’re doing okay!

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Rachel July 21, 2010 at 10:07 am

Ahhh, I’ve done this too!! Isn’t it stupid that when we think it’s someone else we can admit that the reflection is pretty, thin, nicely dressed, whatever? But as soon as I know it’s me, I laugh and immediately put myself down.

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Emily July 21, 2010 at 11:22 am

I did that on vacation a few years ago and it often stands out in my mind. I glanced at a half-mirror on a busy street and thought, “whose skinny legs are those?” before I realized I was looking at my own legs. It was surreal and such a clear reminder about how critical of myself I can be if I don’t keep an eye on it.

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tanyasdaily July 21, 2010 at 9:13 am

I like your hat!

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Cara July 21, 2010 at 9:14 am

I think my perception of myself is in constant motion. Not necessarily negative, but always changing. I like to think I have a positive outlook on life as a whole and that generally flows into how I perceive myself. Love life, love yourself!

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Holly @ couchpotatoathlete.wordpress.com July 21, 2010 at 9:17 am

I really need to pick up this book!

For years I have thought badly about myself, thought I was lesser than others, and had constant negative thoughts about myself. Just in the past year I have started to look at myself as I would look at a friend. I am so hard on myself and yet I would never say those mean things to anyone else. Why do I treat myself, my own body, my own mind in such a negative way?

Lately I have stopped some of those negative thoughts and I have to keep reminding myself that I am a person of value. Lately when I catch myself in the mirror I do not immediately think negative thoughts — I am proud of myself and proud of what I have accomplished.

In a way it is comforting to know that I am not the only one who has had these feelings, but at the same time, it is sad because I would never wish this on anyone. We can all only move forward and strive to do better. I feel I have made leaps and bounds in the past few months and I have great hope for the future. I will be my own best friend.

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Therese July 21, 2010 at 9:17 am

I can’t say I’ve had that same experience but boy have I changed the way I perceive myself over the last couple of years. I used to think I was worthless, a failure and wouldn’t amount to anything. But as I’ve started to take charge of my life I realize that all of this couldn’t be further from the truth. I had absolutely no PROOF that I was worthless or a failure. The only proof I had was that I was afraid. Afraid of life and the risks it takes to create a life that I want and DESERVE. It’s been a long trek and I still have days where I have to remind myself that I’m worth the extra time and effort but I am 100% happier than I was back then.

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[email protected]://stacey-healthylife.blogspot.com/ July 21, 2010 at 9:17 am

Yum, those always look so pretty. I wish I could learn to enjoy overnight oats. I do need to get a food processor asap. So I can make veggie burgers, soft serve, and all kinds of other things.

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Jessica @ Jessica Balances July 21, 2010 at 9:18 am

Oh goodness, that passage always makes me tear up a bit. I don’t even know why; it’s just SO beautiful. In the past, I’ve mostly focused on: “I’m here. I love you. I don’t care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you…” etc. because I’ve been there before (haven’t we all?) and, whether you believe in God or another higher being, those words are very comforting and I’ve felt that “presence” before as well. BTW, I’m loving the Eat, Pray, Love discussions we’ve all been participating in! :)

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Heather (Heather's Dish) July 21, 2010 at 9:22 am

for the longest time i considered myself my own best enemy…and i really believed it to be true. it’s amazing how an eating disorder can pit you against not only yourself, but the people who truly love you. i love this quote, and i think more than anything it rings true in the note she writes to herself…”I am here” is 3 simple words and one of the most profound things i’ve read in a long time.

thank you :)

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Sara Johnson July 21, 2010 at 9:25 am

Angela,
I finished EPL in June and I loved Bali the best, even though I have a passion for Italy as well. The book left me with a longing to get to “know myself” (still weird to say considering I’m only 26) deeper. Maybe someday I can explore this level of letting go and finding peace.

P.S.I love your blog!! You are beautiful!
What camera/lenses do you use? Do you use a micro lens for most of your close ups?? (I have a canon but my lenses kinda stink. :)

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AngelaOSG July 21, 2010 at 4:36 pm

we have the canon Speedlite 430 EXII external flash. I also use a Canon 50 mm 1.4 macro lens. The camera is a Canon 30D :)

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Pam July 21, 2010 at 9:26 am

Awww, this post made me cry…(hormonal much, lol?) But I’m not really hormonal, so it must be real!

This hits home, because we need to be kind to ourselves, not criticize or pick at ourselves incessantly, which is what I tend to do. I’m becoming kinder to myself as I get older, and learning to age gracefully, having just turned 40.

I think that thinking of ourselves as a friend, rather than enemy can go a long way.

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Tina July 21, 2010 at 9:26 am

I have never thought of it like that but that really is one of the best things we can do – treat ourselves like a valued friend. Would we tell our friends they look fat or ugly or need to change X about themselves? NO! We need to extend that same respect to the only friend that will always be with us. We can’t get rid of ourselves so we must embrace ourselves. I am loving the things you are sharing from this book!

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Greta July 21, 2010 at 9:28 am

Angela, I have to admit that I got teary-eyed when I read this. I know the mirror situation all too well, but for a long time I was plagued by very negative thoughts when I saw the “other person.” I would mentally criticize her without even meaning to: “look at that posture! what is she WEARING?” and then after realizing the girl was ME… I would feel immensely guilty about my criticisms, and even worse about myself. The thought cycle fed into itself, and it took years to break. I think the concept of recognizing yourself as a friend is so powerful, and it’s a beautiful thing when we can do that.

I also love the Eat, Pray, Love discussion everyone is having. I hadn’t been very interested in the book before, but now that you’re posting the excerpts and engaging your readers, I can’t wait to check it out. Thank you!

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Lisa July 21, 2010 at 9:30 am

This post could not come at a better time. I am having a terrible day at work and went into the bathroom to almost cry. Yet when I look in the mirror I know I am stronger than these people and that I will not let them get to me. I feel lost in my job right now but if I treat myself like a friend and not get mad at myself for not knowing what to do at 33 yrs old, then I will be okay. Thank you for this post. Love the EPL discussions. One of my favorite books and you are making me want to re-read it!

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katie July 21, 2010 at 10:14 am

Your feelings about work sound just like mine. You’re not alone in that! I love that you looked in the mirror and were able to tell yourself how much stronger you are than those people who are making you feel like crap. This is exactly what I need to do next time I feel like I can’t hack it. Thanks! :-) You’ll get through it, just keep on loving you!

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Lisa July 21, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Thanks Katie! We will get through work – at least it’s almost the weekend!

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Camille July 21, 2010 at 9:37 am

I love that book more and more as you re-read it :)

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Maria @ Oh Healthy Day July 21, 2010 at 9:39 am

What a beautiful quote. I absolutely cannot wait to read this book.

I am lucky enough to call myself a friend, but of course there were times when I didn’t. I hated my legs, my stomach, the way I couldn’t make decisions, my uncertainty. And I criticized myself often. After getting over this and becoming friends with myself, I now look back in awe at that old person. Of course we weren’t friends. You’d never tell your best friend that she had short fat legs! You’d never tell her to give up. You’d encourage her to take a risk, do what’s right, live a a little. And that’s what I do today. I treat myself how I treat my best friend. I am encouraging, forgiving, and most of all, respectful of myself.

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Lisa @ I'm an Okie July 21, 2010 at 9:41 am

You make me want to buy that book and I never had interest in it before. I guess I didn’t really know what it was about.

In that moment my brain did an odd thing- it fired off this split-second message: ‘Hey! You know her! That’s a friend of yours!” And I actually ran forward toward my own reflection with a smile, ready to welcome that girl whose name I had lost but whose face was so familiar.

So beautiful. I also liked what you said–when you realized it was you, you thought something negative, when just a few seconds before–you saw a beauitful friend.

I wish we could see ourselves all the time how others see us. As beautiful.

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Samantha @ Health, Happiness & Skinny Jeans July 21, 2010 at 9:42 am

That’s a really interesting question and a hard one to answer. I think I want to be a friend to myself but sometimes I could do a better job of it. I put a lot of effort into my friendships with other people and should make that time and effort for me. Thanks for giving me that to think about.

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Karen July 21, 2010 at 9:51 am

This is an issue I’ve been dealing with all my life. Just recently I figured out that I just need to decide to be happy, to let things go, to stop dwelling on all the negative in my life. I have to make that choice every day.
While I haven’t had that “mirror” moment yet, I am learning to become a friend to myself. Instead of constantly berating myself I become curious to find out what is actually going on with me at that moment. It’s a much kinder way to treat myself, and it’s what I would do with a friend.
I read this book last year while on a very relaxing beach vacation. It’s been great to revisit it through the blog. Thanks!

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Amy @ be.you.ti.fully, a.musing July 21, 2010 at 9:51 am

I just recently have had a shift in my relationship with the face in the mirror. I’ve never felt downright ugly for more than a day or two at a time, but never felt very “feminine” (whatever that means) or pretty for more than a day or two at a time either. After starting to exercise and really following my bliss in the little things every day, I’ve just been feeling better over all and started noticing parts of myself that I could find attractive. Soon, I started finding more and more of them and now it’s like an automatic response when I look in the mirror to go, “Wow! I look pretty/joyful/beautiful/healthy/fill-in-the-blank!” It just puts a smile on my face and now I get why my autistic brother spends so much time looking at himself in the mirror. He probably finds himself good-looking too! haha!

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Lynna July 21, 2010 at 9:57 am

I just wanted to pop in and tell you that I really enjoy the thoughtfulness and intelligence of your posts. The time and effort you put in shows and it really helps make your blog a stand out.

I like this quote a lot too. I feel like I see myself as a friend most of the time (and definitely much more than I used to) but there are still times when I let negative feelings about my appearance drag down the way I see myself as a whole. Sometimes it’s hard not to let what’s on the outside (or how you feel about what’s on the outside) cloud your judgment about what’s on the inside.

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Lauren July 21, 2010 at 9:57 am

For a while when I was have crazy friend issues and was desperately seeking to make and keep new friends I would get so down on myself. There would be literal moments when I would actually annoy myself and thought inwardly, “If I’m annoying myself I can only imagine how annoyed they must be.” It was a terrible feeling. Especially to think that that annoying person is the real you. I had to really spend some time figuring out why I thought I was annoying or no fun and I realized that really I wasn’t any of the above. I was annoying to myself because I was trying to be someone I wasn’t in order to make friends. And it wasn’t that I wasn’t fun, it’s just that in an effort to make friends I was doing things I didn’t care about or want to do. I finally let go of the facade and spent a few lonely months with myself and in the end I came out of it more confident than ever, and totally in love with myself. In a good way :)

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Michelle July 21, 2010 at 10:02 am

I wish I could get my husband to go running with me at night!

I’ve never had the mirror experience but I’ve definitely waved at people I thought I knew and didn’t! In all seriousness, yes, I’m a friend to myself. It helps me when I feel like I’m in a bad place, or being annoying, or snippy with people. I’ll get off the phone and think… how would you feel if you were talked to that way? And then I call back and apologize and it turns out it was no big deal ;) I also used to hate being alone, but in my teenage years I read the quote that you can’t love others/others can’t love you til you love yourself, so I started practicing being happy when I was alone. Now I crave alone time from time to time!

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Zenlizzie July 21, 2010 at 10:04 am

I loved EPL. I can related to so much of what she writes about. Sometimes it takes a reminder to think of ourselves as a friend rather than a hurdle we have to get over to be “better.” Also, that is probably the classiest looking veggie juice I’ve ever seen.

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Anya @ Fitness & Sunshine July 21, 2010 at 10:08 am

Hmm I think I’ve had similar experiences, especially concerning self-judgment. Sometimes I would see my reflection in a window and think, what a beautiful girl, and then realize it’s just me and criticize myself.

My views definitely have changed over the years. I don’t think I’m completely there yet and am still learning how to love myself wholly but I definitely have more respect for myself as an individual, and look at myself in more positive ways. :)

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Liz @ Tip Top Shape July 21, 2010 at 10:11 am

Why do your parfaits always look so good??? lol

My perception of myself has definitely changed since I went to college. I feel that I have gained more confidence and see myself as equal to others. Before if someone was prettier than me or was dressed nicer I would feel that I was inferior. I felt that they wouldn’t want to talk to me or have anything to do with me. What I quickly learned in college though (where the harsh lines of high school are blurred) is that no one is really “above” you. We are all humans and regardless of how pretty someone is or how thin they are, we all have the insecurities and we all eat and drink and procrastinate on papers. Once I saw that the similarities outweighed the differences, I really found a new confidence and comfort around people who would previously have intimidated me.

Whew- that was long! Hope there was something worthwhile reading in it, haha.

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Michelle @ Give Me the Almond Butter July 21, 2010 at 12:49 pm

This is so beautiful. I’m going through this right now in college. It is so great to see someone who has already went through this.

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jenna July 21, 2010 at 10:12 am

I’ve never had an experience like that before that I can remeber. I have looked in the mirror and asked to love myself. i think it is a crucial part of growing, especially for women, to look at your physical self and become one with your inner self.

on a side note. your hot rocks :)

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Beth @ DiningAndDishing July 21, 2010 at 10:13 am

I definitely consider myself to be my own best friend! When I moved out to DC over a year and a half ago now (wow), I didn’t have a single friend here! It really forced me to get out there, meet people and find activities and interests to make me happy, outside of the comforts of home. Although my life is full of friends and fun now, I will never forget how important building a good relationship with myself was in my first months.

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Jen @ Tip Top Shape July 21, 2010 at 10:13 am

That vegetable athletes juice looks absolutely delicious. I’ve been meaning to invest in a juicer for awhile, is it a worthwhile investment?

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AngelaOSG July 21, 2010 at 4:38 pm

It is if you have the time to clean it. I find sometimes I wont use it just b/c I dont have time to clean it and all that…It is a bit annoying at times. It also requires lots of produce to use.

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Jillian July 21, 2010 at 10:19 am

I’m pretty hard on myself most of the time, just recently I’ve noticed that I stopped a good amount of negative self talk… And while it’s a constant struggle I think what you’ve mentioned is so very important and I’ve never thought of it that way.

It reminds me of something Kris Carr (www.crazysexylife.com) mentioned in a vlog the other day… She said that when she realizes she is being really hard on herself or pushing herself too hard she looks at a picture of her as a little girl and says would I do this to this little girl?, would I tell her she’s not good enough/thin enough/smart enough? NO! I would protect her and help lift her up and make her strong… So why don’t you do that to yourself?

Be your own mother and be your own best friend. Be kind to yourself. Thank you so much for posting this!!

P.S. I went out and bought Eat Pray Love yesterday from your review of it, I’m going to start reading it today! :)

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Lauren July 21, 2010 at 10:22 am

I always joke that I’m in “a committed relationship with myself,” but it’s absolutely true. I definitely consider myself a friend, and I’d rather hear my own thoughts that anyone else’s. The mirror situation has never happened to me, and I’ve never had some big dramatic shift. I think just bit by bit over the years I’ve learned to do what’s best for myself and listen to and love myself above all else.

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Shannon July 21, 2010 at 10:28 am

That quote is so moving. I am really trying to improve my life and health lately, so I can definitely relate! I think I may be hitting up the library for this book very soon!

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Wei-Wei July 21, 2010 at 10:28 am

I’ve never really seen myself in the mirror. I think that the flash-instant thoughts that run through your mind when you least expect them to are the truest, most honest thoughts you can have. Beautiful quote indeed… I hope I can become a friend of myself soon.

Wei-Wei

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Amanda July 21, 2010 at 10:38 am

I am currently trying to see myself as a friend but it is not an easy process. It is so easy to be critical and to constantly focus on my flaws but I am trying each day to see myself in a more positive light and to love and appreciate all of me, not just the parts that are easy to love and appreciate.

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Krystina July 21, 2010 at 10:38 am

My perception of myself has changed. For the first time in my life I feel strong and beautiful. It’s such an amazing feeling; I can’t begin to describe how freeing it is.

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Sasha July 21, 2010 at 10:49 am

Yes, I’ve had the mirror situation a couple of times. The first time was when I was walking out of a cinema and they had these huge wall-to-wall mirrors and I saw me and said ‘hey, I know her’. I don’t remember if I ‘recognized’ myself as a friend though. Most times I don’t like catching myself suddenly in a mirror because I have a huge issue with my droopy eyes and sad mouth. I’m slowly wisening up :)

The second time is funny: I had a l.o.n.g bout of illness because of which I was completely bed-ridden for 3 months. I gained about 12-14 kilos (25 pounds?) in this time and steadfastly refused to look at a mirror for the entire 3 months.
After the 3 months were up, one day, home alone, I caught my reflection in a glass and for a moment thought, “Who IS this FAT lady?!”
Did I say it was funny? I think so now, but I was heart-broken and utterly devastated then!

I was inspired by your veggie juices to try my own the other day: I used a beet and 2 carrots, lemon and some salt. It tasted fine except for the pulp that made me want to gag! Do you filter out the pulp or do you drink it all? I can’t tell from your ‘juicy’ pictures ;)
Thanks!

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AngelaOSG July 21, 2010 at 4:38 pm

My breville juicer removes the pulp :) its pretty smooth

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Sara July 21, 2010 at 10:52 am

I’ve always been somewhat of a perfectionist, and it has definitely caused a lot of stress in my life. I would feel like a failure if I didn’t make high enough grades, even if it was a low A, if I discovered I was doing something completely wrong for my health, or if I said something important to a friend and then wished I would’ve worded it differently. It made me feel like I couldn’t do anything right. But throughout all of this and still today when things like this happen, I would have conversations with myself in the mirror (yea, weird isn’t it?). I guess it was my form of a diary because I could release all of my feelings to someone who knew exactly how I felt and wouldn’t become annoyed or bored by me venting all my frustrated feelings. And it’s kind of funny because sometimes I’ll think of something perfect to say to someone about whatever I’m upset about, and I’ll sort of “practice” it in the mirror, but whenever I talk to that person, I can never do it quite the same way.

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Amanda @ Amanda On Foot July 21, 2010 at 11:04 am

What a beautiful post, pictures and all. And the food looks incredible. Question–how the heck did you get so good and creative at cooking? Do you have a cooking degree or something?

I hope this doesn’t sound creepy, but one day I’d really hope to meet you. Your blog is really inspiring.

~Amanda

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AngelaOSG July 21, 2010 at 4:39 pm

Thank you so much what a compliment! :) Made me smile.
No cooking degree, just a passion to learn and the courage to experiment and fail

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Faith @ LovelyAsCharged July 21, 2010 at 11:19 am

I love that you love that song! It’s one of my favorites for sure!

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Laura (B Foxy Fitness) July 21, 2010 at 11:26 am

What an awe-inspiring sunset!

You always have such deep, thought-provoking questions. Love ’em! That quote is so powerful…and true. I recently graduated with my Master’s degree and am spending the summer looking for jobs and re-discovering my creativity. It’s crazy how much of myself got suppressed and lost in the day to day hustle over the last two years. I’m re-learning to say the least.

Your quote also reminds me of another by Ralph Waldo Emerson: “We must be our own before we can be another’s.” We must be our own best friend and love ourselves before we can share our true selves with others. When we stop hating ourselves and rid ourselves of negativity we can fully become a whole person.

Beautiful post, thank you for sharing!

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Lessons in Life and Light July 21, 2010 at 11:32 am

Oh, I love this! It’s been a while since I commented you but I really liked this post so I thought I’d stop by.

I DO consider myself a friend. But, I didn’t always. I went through a very dark time in my life (in fact I blogged about it here: http://lessonsinlifeandlight.wordpress.com/2010/06/15/this-is-the-happy-truth/) back a couple of years ago. And because of it, I pretty much ended up hating myself. I’ve come a long way from who I used to be and am loving who I am turning into. I feel alive again and happy, and it feels SO very good.

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Priscilla July 21, 2010 at 11:34 am

“This only changed when I started treating myself like a friend instead of some annoying pest that was constantly screwing up her life and doing everything imperfectly. Make no mistake, our thoughts define how we perceive the world, including ourselves.”

I had just finished reading an article on mental imagery when I read your post…and the quote above really caught me, because I absolutely treat myself like that pest, and I was wondering how to stop. I have heard so many bad things about this book, but seeing it through your eyes makes me want to read it immediately. I’ve been reading your blog for about a year and have never commented, but since I took the time to actually copy part of this post and put it on my desktop where I can see it every day to remind myself to stop all this negativity, I thought I should say thank you for your blog and for sharing your story. It’s also lovely to see all these wonderful responses.

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Jolene (www.everydayfoodie.ca) July 21, 2010 at 11:48 am

I do recognize myself as a friend. It took some time, some growing up and coming into my own. I have grown in confidence as I have moved through my 20s, and now at 27 I feel happy and confident, and like me.

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Kat (Bubble Gum Gym Kat) July 21, 2010 at 11:57 am

I love the layering parfet idea that you do..makes it looks so much prettier

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Stacey @ Tipping the (Kitchen!) Scales July 21, 2010 at 11:59 am

It has taken me a while to like who I am and not to think negatively about what I see in the mirror. We have to be kind to ourselves and have respect and pride over who we are. I used to be terribly self-conscious and have no confidence because I always felt as though I wasn’t good enough – like I was a disappointment in some way to everyone I met. However, as I’ve gotten older I realise that the only person I have to make happy is myself, so I’ve tried to stop being so hard on myself and enjoy life. You only live once after all and I do not want to spend that time being miserable!

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Angela @ Eat Spin Run Repeat July 21, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Although I’ve never had super negative thoughts about myself for an extended period of time, I’ve definitely had those days where I’ve looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw. Now that I’m getting older, I’m realizing more and more how important it is to be my own best friend. It’s so true when ‘they’ say that if you don’t want to be your own friend, why would anyone else want to?
Thanks for the great quote!

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Michal July 21, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Choosing to go vegan has, in particular, forced a shift in my self-perception. I used to think of myself as the enemy, and being healthy -mentally, physically, emotionally – required me to be this hovering, controlling guardian of my inner self. Going vegan made being healthy effortless and fun, and made me realize I can enjoy being me and direct the path my life follows without being overly forceful against myself.

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AdiFey July 21, 2010 at 12:49 pm

Hey, Hey! Stalker reveal!
I have been following your blog for awhile and I have no idea why I haven’t commented yet! You introduced me to the blog world, and inspired me to start my own.
First off, I HAVE to thank you for helping me in my fight with my eating disorder.
I think I’m going to write size healthy on all of my old jeans I’m trying to fit back into, that’s such an awesome idea!
I will definitely be commenting more often. I Love your blog, and I LOVE u.
And thanks for all the recipes, I’m not vegan but I adore! vegan food so it’s awesome to have that kind of inspiration for meals.
<3
Thanks again, Angela.

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Stefani July 21, 2010 at 12:59 pm

Thank you so much for posting that passage. I reminds me that I need to take the time to be nicer to myself. I am trying to get out of my depression, but I am having such a hard time. I really don’t know how to be nicer to myself, but I think re-reading that quote will help. I know my family would appreciate it because I take my anger at myself out on them which just makes me angrier at myself. It’s a vicious cycle.

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Holly @ Self-love and Running July 21, 2010 at 1:22 pm

I love that quote! I think I need to get that book!

My perception of myself has changed a lot over the years, even recently. That’s pretty much the reason I decided to start a blog. (Your blog is such an inspiration!) Now that my perception has altered, I definitely consider myself a friend!

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Betty July 21, 2010 at 1:30 pm

I just listened to Magig by B.O.B and it is a good running song :) Thanks for sharing.

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Lynne July 21, 2010 at 1:34 pm

Hee hee, this reminds me of the time I went into a shop that I’d never been into before, thinking it was bigger than it was because of the mirror at the back of the shop… I actually said, ‘excuse me’ to myself before I realised that the person I thought was in my way, was actually my own reflection… oh dear! I left the shop chuckling to myself!

Still, at least I was polite to myself, eh?! :)

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Candice @ ChiaSeedMe July 21, 2010 at 1:42 pm

I want to say that I’ve come to the place where I view myself as my own best friend because that is who I want to be. And who I’m striving to be. I can envision being that girl, and I want it! Old habits do die hard, though, and I work diligently every day to become that person. To be kind to myself, love myself and treat myself with respect and admiration.

Every step takes me closer to realizing my potential and throwing myself into that potential full force. And I really think the process is the best part.

Over the past couple of months, yoga has really played a part in helping me to treat myself with respect instead of never being satisfied with who I am. It has helped me to take time to appreciate my body and in turn treat it with dignity and love.

Quitting my job has also been a huge stepping stone in that direction because it was one of the first times that I did something solely based on what I needed to do for myself. It has taken me a long time to realize that doing something for myself isn’t selfish in an negative way!

Great thoughts…and lovely sunset!

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Tracey July 21, 2010 at 2:04 pm

I can definitely relate to this quote and I love the book Eat, Pray, Love. I have dealt with low self-esteem and depression for years now and only recently have I begun to look at myself as a friend instead of an enemy. I still have the negative, critical part of myself come out at times, but I think it can sometimes be a long journey to finding inner peace. It’s nice to know I am not alone and that there is light at the end of the depressed/lonely tunnel.

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Mimi (Damn the Freshman 15) July 21, 2010 at 2:04 pm

Honestly..my world kind of fell apart when I realized I was the only one who could push myself. For achievements, goals, whatever. That’s because I am by far my own worst critic–born from the mentality of “If I’M not hard on you, who will be?”

But that eventually made me realize I could pick myself up too. Yeah, I could mentally smack myself, but I could also soothe myself. Other people bring out my playfulness and some of my better qualities, but I’ve learned to be a lot kinder to myself.

That parfait is like a party. Too bad not a party in my mouth. What would you say is the best fruit to mix into banana soft serve?

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AngelaOSG July 21, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :)

Cherries are my fav to mix in :) mmm

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Jenny July 21, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Sadly, I don’t think I’ve had that experience. As I get older, I feel like when I see myself in reflections I think “Who is that? Wait, that’s me? I look so…different”. I have changed a lot, I used to be reclusive and insecure and I have changed. But sometimes there is something so sad about myself when I catch a glimpse in a window or mirror.
I am working on being my friend. I do mini pep talks throughout the day. Just today, I was at work at the kennel. And it is hot and sweaty and no A/C and a lot of labor. And I always say “you can do this, you are strong enough, you are dedicated enough”. I always thought that I was the exception, that I was the ONE person who couldn’t do this or that, and slowly but surely I’ve learned to realize that I can do this and I can do that. And I can kick butt at both.

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Mimi July 21, 2010 at 2:38 pm

That is a beautifully phrased quote. I wish I could say that I always considered myself a friend, but my relationship with myself continues to be up and down. I feel best when I don’t fixate on appearance and appreciate all the amazing things my body can do. I feel best during a good run, a good laugh or good sunset… much like what you experienced tonight.

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carri z. July 21, 2010 at 2:48 pm

i love that quote.

and another one…
that my favorite therapist and mentor
told me years ago in reference
to how great i treated
and took care of everyone else
except myself.

“remember, YOU are the only person you will never lose of leave.”

take care of yourself first.

and now…i do and continue to
do – with kindness and respect.

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Ed July 21, 2010 at 3:33 pm

Have you ever called your VOO toppings a hat before? I like it, super cute! :)

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AngelaOSG July 21, 2010 at 4:40 pm

hahaha no I havent but I think I was thinking about the hats on the patty pan squash from last night!!!

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Ed July 21, 2010 at 9:36 pm

Obviously: delicious food + hats = cute!

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Allie Finch July 21, 2010 at 3:38 pm

This passage really struck me when I read EPL. It’s ridiculously easy to criticize ourselves–& oh how the ego likes to butt in when we try to love ourselves–it’s certainly not as easy to offer unconditional love to “me”. At least for me, this doesn’t come naturally. I’ve been quite self-destructive in the past…never giving myself a break…never giving myself credit…never allowing myself the right to be happy! I would never inject this upon another person, so why myself?! It’s taken time & proactive steps to move away from this behavior, but finally I’ve learned to love myself–that it’s OKAY to love myself!
Every day, the friendship I’ve formed with myself becomes deeper & deeper. As my own best friend, I can lift myself up to living, rather than dig a trench of self doubt…that often leads to depression. I can finally insist [to myself] that I have the right to be happy…& oh how I am ;) I just have to remember to be as kind to myself as I am to others.

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Aurora July 21, 2010 at 4:00 pm

The other night, I dreamed I was making love to myself. I was with another person, but she was ME. It was weird to think about it after I woke up, but now that I’ve read your post, it makes total sense. I have been working so hard on trying to love myself… now my subconscious is giving me the thumbs up too!

Thank you so much.

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Leah July 21, 2010 at 4:17 pm

When I saw the title of this post, that part of the book was the first thing I thought about.
I have had that same feeling when seeing my reflection before, so I knew exactly what she meant. Its a strange feeling.

I’ve definitely started looking at myself differently. For a long time I was my own worst enemy, and thats no way to live.

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AngelaOSG July 21, 2010 at 4:41 pm

That is amazing that you knew what I was referring to from the title!

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Lisa (bakebikeblog) July 21, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Oh my – what a beautiful sunset :) And such a nice way to finish the day :)

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Laura July 21, 2010 at 5:55 pm

Hi Angela,

I just started reading your blog about a month ago I think, and I just love it. It’s ALMOST the blog I want to write, and haven’t started. I think my yoga is your running, and the food part, recipe creation, artfulness with food really resonates with me. What’s holding me back? Who knows, but I relate to some of your posts about changing your life, and the dark moments when it wasn’t quite there yet, so much.

Anyway, that was my favorite quote in the whole book too. The India part made my hair stand up on end and sent shivers up my spine. Italy was fun of course, and Bali didn’t do very much for me unfortunately, but India definitely rocked my world.

I definitely don’t see myself as a “friend” enough. Really must work on that. All the self study, the self care, the yoga, healthy lifestyle…none of these will matter or work at all without kindness and compassion toward myself.

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Kayley July 21, 2010 at 6:03 pm

I know you said your raspberry banana soft serve was kinda tart, but it took everything in me not to start licking the screen! And together with the VOO, it looked to die for!

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Michelle July 21, 2010 at 6:20 pm

I remember reading this in EPL and thinking about learning that the person in the mirror is a friend. So true, and a good reminder that we need talk to ourselves like a friend would when we look in the mirror.

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Rachael July 21, 2010 at 8:24 pm

I consider myself to be a friend, albeit one who can be constructively critical…(and sometimes destructively critical, truth be told).
Patty pan squash are a favorite of mine – cute name, cute veggie!

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Pure2raw twins July 21, 2010 at 10:20 pm

Love the post Angela!!! I am working hard to see myself as a friend. It is hard, because I struggle so much to stay happy. But you have inspired me to look at myself, smile, and say hi friend! I know it will take time to truly love myself, but every step forward is a good thing, right?

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Jackie (Peaces of Earth) July 21, 2010 at 10:50 pm

I’m catching up on all of your posts and I REALLY need to read this book. My roommate read it and kept laughing, crying, and mmhmming. It was quite entertaining. Thank you for sharing all of these quotes and thoughts. I really love that books can cause us to really soul search.

It makes me sad to think about how much I used to be against myself. We are all we have and we would NEVER (well, most of the time) treat others the way we treat ourselves. When I think about it like that, the words I speak to myself seem absolutely ridiculous! So much has changed and I truly cherish the relationship I have with myself now. I am kind and patient and on the days I’m not I forgive myself and move forward.

Love this post!! xoxo

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Stacy (Little Blue Hen) July 22, 2010 at 2:54 am

Love EPL. I’ve bought copies for several friends but it might be time to re-read it myself.

I had an almost opposite experience but the passage reminds me of it anyway. When my husband and I moved across the country and I didn’t know anyone or have a job, after several months I was becoming depressed. The day I realized that I was tired of hanging out with myself and I didn’t have anywhere else to go was a kick in the pants that I needed to change. Looking in the mirror I saw someone I didn’t recognize because that depressed and unhappy person *wasn’t* me. Now that I’ve taken steps to change those circumstances have helped me be ME again.

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Marathon Bound Gal aka Grace July 22, 2010 at 7:03 am

I told my hubby about the homemade V8 and he is really excited, his exact words were, “we really need to try that”. He knows how much I love my juicer and the juices I’ve made, per your recipes, so this ones going on the list. Hubby had to stop drinking store bought V8 because of the sodium content and even the low sodium is bad, so this will work for us.

I think the one thing that has really stood out for me as I’ve gotten older, is that I’ve learned to say “NO” and that it’s okay to say “NO”. I am a people pleaser, as my best friend tells me and my sister and I go out of my way to please everyone around me no matter what it takes and sometimes it causes bad negativity on me when I do that. I’ve learned that sometimes people take advantage of that persona. So, yes, I do believe I am a good friend, better friend to myself because of that change. I am stronger as I get older and I AM WOMAN, HEAR ME ROAR!!! :0)

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Marissa (Where I Need to Be) July 25, 2010 at 10:02 pm

I love that passage! One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received is to speak to yourself as you would a loved one. It’s something I have to remind myself on a daily basis. After all, the most important relationship we have is the one we have with ourselves.

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Sasha April 24, 2013 at 11:16 pm

What the hell? I came here for a juice recipe but got so much more.

Unfortunately I’m still in the self hate phase, but I’ve loved reading all these posts.

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